50 Shades: Teddy's Birth
by caprincessinco04
Summary: This started as a one shot about Teddy's Birth, I felt this big event needed "more" I Took the scene from Freed and expanded. With the kind Reviews and the want for "more" I decided to keep adding. This is very Lovey Dovey, and Mushy. What can I say Hopeless Romantic, This story follows Ana & Christian as new parents and, I Hope you like the story. ***I DO NOT OWN THE CHARATERS***
1. Teddys Birth

*** I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS, I DID BORROW THE SMALL BIRTH SCENE FROM 50 SHADES FREED...I FOUND THAT THIS SPECIFIC EVENT COULD HAVE BEEN EXPANDED ON. I KNOW ITS A VERY LOVEY DOVEY STORY BUT I AM A HOPELESS ROMANTIC SO IT IS WHAT IT IS. I DO HAVE A FEW MORE IDEAS ABOUT THEM TAKING THE BABY HOME. LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT MORE.****

Its Friday May 13th, Friday the 13th hmmm I am not really a superstitious person and a day like today would normally be just any other day but I can shake the odd feeling like something is going to happen today, not sure whether its good or bad just something. I feel odd, perhaps I'm just nervous and anxious and slightly stressed. My due date is 2 weeks away and today is my last day at the office Christian has insisted I take the next 2 weeks off to prepare for Blips arrival. I tried to convince him to let me work next week but he would have nothing of it. I finally got him to relent and he is at least allowing me to work from home…sorta, I shake my head and roll my eyes at the memory of that "discussion" if that's what you can call it. Ah my overbearing, always in charge, worried about me husband I swear if he does not learn how to relax and not get himself worked up over every little thing he is going to give himself a heart attack!

I have just finished my meeting with Roach. We went over all that's being covered while I'm gone, The 2 new manuscripts I am pushing to be published and the meetings set up with a very promising new author, as well as two of our best sellers. As I walk back to my office, Hannah, my assistant, is at her desk filing some documents.

"Hannah, would you please join me in my office? I'd like to just run through things once more to make sure everything is covered."

"Sure thing Ana, I'll be right in"

"Thank you"

I walk back into my office and just as I sit down in my chair I feel this strange cramp along my stomach, it doesn't last long and I think maybe Blip is not a fan of the chicken salad sandwich we had for lunch. He can be picky sometimes.

Hannah walks in with her notebook and takes a seat and we begin to go over the list once more, I assure her that things will be fine and I have complete confidence in her, also that I will have my Blackberry if there is a really big problem that needs my attention other than that the other editors have all stepped up to help while I am away.

I am really glad that they have all gotten over the fact that I am married to the boss, it seems I have proven myself worthy of the job and I have made friends with a few which is nice. It turns out that Sarah one of the other editors was the one causing the problems by telling everyone I was just spoiled and incompetent and the only reason I was an editor was because of my husband. Shortly after word got out that _I_ in fact would be running SIP, I mean Grey Publishing, and everyone got to know me they realized that I, could in fact handle the job. They saw I was smart, confident and knew what I was talking about. Sarah of course was fired once Christian found out what was going on, he saw the e-mails she was sending out. I can't say I feel sorry for her I mean she kinda had it coming for acting like we were in high school again. Don't mess with my fifty.

Hannah and I chat about a few more things. I rise to escort her out of my office, and I have to pee _again_, I am crippled by an intense pain that lances through my stomach; I bend slightly holding my belly,

"Holy shit" I say panting.._ What the hell?_

"ANA! Are you ok?! Hannah asks with a panicked look on her face, as she helps me back into my chair

"UM…I don't know" I say trying to catch my breath, the pain has gone away

"Let me go get you some water…Should I call Mr. Grey?"

"No Hannah just some water will be fine, I think Blip did not approve of my lunch choice today"

Hannah smiles slightly and races out of the room she is back in 2 minutes with a glass of water _and _Sawyer!

"Please don't be mad at me Ana I'm just worried about you" Hannah says in a concerned tone coming over to my side, and kneeling by my chair.

"I'm not mad Hannah"

"Mrs. Grey, are you ok?' asks Sawyer and if I'm not mistaken he is concerned too. Geeze.

"Yes, Luke I'm ok, Just a stomach ache I believe, I assume you called Taylor?"

"Yes ma'am" and as soon as he answers "Your Love is King" sounds from my blackberry, I sigh and roll my eyes, and answer the phone.

"Hi Christian"

"Jesus Ana, are you ok?! Do I need to come get you or have Sawyer take you to the Hospital? He sounds worried, adamant. I can tell he is in the car. Hmmm.

"Christian where are you?"

"Why the fuck does that matter?! Will you just fucking answer the question!" He's angry now and well I don't care I don't feel like being scolded today so he can just deal with it!

"Don't yell at me! I'm not in the mood to be yelled at!" I yell back and as I do that pain lances trough me again and I gasp, breathing rapidly trying to control it.

Christians voice is panicked "Ana what's wrong?"

"I don't know" I say softly gasping for air.

30 seconds later Christian is bursting into my now very cramped office. He must have been in the car when Sawyer called Taylor. Hannah gets up and moves out of the way.

Christian is by my side in 3 long quick strides, he drops to his knees and searches my face, the pain has left again and my breathing is returning to normal. Christian locks eyes with mine, panicked concerned grey to panicked and scared blue.

"What's going on?" he asks again, placing his hands over mine which are still cradling my belly.

Hannah quickly explains what happened, Christian listens intently all the while never taking his eyes off mine. Taylor has appeared in my office now. _Geeze. How many more people are we going to fit in here?_

"I thought originally that Blip just did not like what we had for lunch it was just small cramps, you know brought on hormones, and stress but now….Oh Christian I don't know, I'm scared I think that Blip is ready to make his debut" I see fear, excitement and panic wash over his face…_oh Christian it's going to be ok...I think_

_"_Oh Baby, don't be scared, I'm here Ana, it's going to be ok, I love you I will take care of you." He kisses me briefly calming me slightly.

"Sawyer, go back to Escala and grab the hospital bags by the door, Taylor go get the car we are taking Mrs. Grey to the Hospital now!" His eyes never leave mine and there he is my commanding husband ever in control.

"Yes sir!" both Taylor and Sawyer say in unison

"Well there goes the plan of getting prepared for the next two weeks." I say with a smirk

"Fair point, well made, Mrs. Grey it seems our son has his own plans." Christian grins

"Is there anything else I can do?" Hannah asks with and sense of excitement in her voice.

"Please Hannah if you would grab my purse from behind the door I think that is…..AHH!" Pain lances trough me again and I keep my eyes locked on my husbands and grab his hands he is now breathing with me and trying to keep me calm.

It's really amazing how just looking at him looking at me makes this easier, I feel our connection, it's because I know that I have nothing to fear when Christian is around he won't let anything bad happen to me or Blip and I feel safe, secure and it's such a calming feeling, as the pain subsides and my breathing slows Christian stands and scoops me into his arms.

"I can walk Christian."

He looks down at me with his _you're kidding right? _ Look "Yes Ana I am well aware you can walk but I will use any excuse I can to hold you in my arms."

I smile at him throwing my arms around his neck; he grins bends down kisses my forehead.

Hannah hands me my purse and phone and wishes us luck as Christian carries me down to the car.

Outside Taylor is waiting by the open car door,

"Get in." Christian orders Taylor as he gently places me in the back seat, he buckles my seat belt, I grab his face, he looks at me,

"You love strapping me into things don't you."

Christian grins "any chance I get Mrs. Grey." he leans in and kisses me gently on the lips.

Our kiss is cut short as another contraction hits me and I tense, I rub my belly and Christian closes my door races around to the other side and jumps in

"GO NOW TAYLOR!" he shouts,

Taylor steps on the gas and races into traffic toward the hospital which thankfully is not too far away I moan slightly as the pain is becoming more intense, I grab Christians hand and squeeze, he locks eyes with mine allowing me to concentrate on him rather than the pain together we breathe…..

Once we arrive at the hospital things move quickly within 10 min I am in my own room,_ more like a suite than a hospital room. _Dr. Greene, my OBGYN is in checking on me, Taylor had her paged,

"You're well on your way Ana, 5 centimeters dilated, I know that we have discussed the no medication option but I want to let you know you can change your mind if it gets to be too much"

"She wants the medication" Christian snaps

"NO!" I say forcefully, "Christian I told you no drugs I don't want blip to be affected by anything no!"

"Ana..."he begins "NO Christian I don't want them! End of Discussion!"

SHIT another contraction, "Christian…" I gasp as I squeeze his hand.

"It's ok baby I'm right here just breathe and squeeze my hand let me take away your pain." he says trying to be strong.

"oh baby I hate seeing you in pain, I want to take it away if I could, please Ana, Baby, think about the medication please."

The contraction has passed,

"Christian, we have discussed this, I am much stronger then you think, I don't want the drugs, I don't want blip affected by them, I know you want to take away the pain but truthfully you being here, makes it so much easier, you are my drug Mr. Grey, with you by my side I can handle just about anything...I thought you knew that by now."

He smirks, "Yes Mrs. Grey you are very strong I do know this"

Dr. Greene Smiles "Ana I'll be back to check on you in an hour or so, if you need anything just call."

"Thank you Dr. Greene" I say as she walks out of the room.

"Oh my Christian!" I shriek

"Another one?" he asks

"No Christian My mom and Ray I haven't called them, Christian I need my mom to be here, and you parents oh we need to…"

"Hush baby don't worry It's all been taken care of, I called your mom our plane is picking her and Bob up as we speak, she will be here in about an 2 hours, I notified Ray, he is making his way down, and I called my mom and she is letting my dad, Elliot and Mia know and I am sure they are on their way as well. Kate tried to call you as we were being brought up to the room so she knows too. I expect her here any moment now…you know Kate… "

I giggle, "Yes I do and yes she will be here soon."

"Ahh Mrs. Grey I love the sound of your giggle,"

"Christian you really amazing, thank you for taking care of all of that" I smile

"My pleasure baby it's what I do, besides", he places his other hand on my belly, "I don't want you to worry about anything expect taking care of blip and bringing him safely into our lives" he gives me his shy smile, reserved specially for me. I grin widely back at him, and place my hand over his.

I can't help but feeling a tremendous amount of love for my husband right now, he has not panicked or gone all fifty on me. He has stayed in control but not in a mean aggressive manner, and he has stayed clam which is a little surprising considering we are in a situation he really _can't _control, but it has kept me calm as well. I realize too that he has not let go of my hand since we got here, it makes me smile bigger, looking back at how far we have come and what we've been through, I mean given his initial reaction about blip I was concerned we would never get here, but we did. It took Christian some time to warm up to blip but once he did well he was amazing, very attentive, _which was sweet but sometimes he was a little too attentive_, he went to all the La Maze classes with me, helped design the nursery and pick out all the baby supplies we would need. Who would have thought, Christian Grey in a baby store picking out clothes, the memory brings joy to my heart.

"What are you thinking baby?" he asks.

"About shopping" I reply.

A confused amused look crosses his face, "shopping?" he asks

"Yes, you and me shopping for clothes and cribs for blip."

"Oh" he grins wider.

My face falls and our moment is interrupted once again by the pain, Christian locks eyes again with me while I squeeze his hand he rubs his thumb over my knuckles and we breathe together allowing me to concentrate in him…..

We have had a steady stream of visitors just checking on us, Kate of course was first.

"Goodness Ana, you like to do everything quickly lately, I mean you fell in love and married so quick now you can't even wait til your due date", she teases

"Aw Kate, I wish I had more control over this, but it seems your nephew has a mind of his own and just could not wait to meet his Auntie Kate!"

"I can't wait to meet him either! Ana, you know how much I love you, I am so proud of you! Stay strong Steele."

"I will thanks Kate and I love you too!" I grin

Ray, Elliott, Mia and Carrick have all stopped by as well to wish us luck, Ray doesn't stay too long he says he can't watch me in pain, tells me to hang in there and give me a quick kiss, and goes to waiting room with bob who, too, is uncomfortable being in here. Grace and my Mom stay a little longer, to visit and make sure that both Christian and I are ok. Christian has been very patient with all the visitors and allowed them to stay and chat. However Christian has never left my side.

Grace and my mom have come in a few more times to check on us and offer to sit with me while Christian takes a break but he refuses each time.

"I'm not leaving Ana's side." Is all he will say.

Both soon to be grandmas just smile in return. They stay a few more minutes and go back to the waiting room.

Its been 13 hours and I am still in labor, I had no idea it would be this long. Dr. Green has come in and I am only at 8 centimeter 2 more to go, geeze this is taking forever and I am so tired.

"Ana" Dr. Green begins, " I know you are tired , but I have something we need to discuss, I want you to consider a C-Section, I know you wanted to deliver naturally but I am getting concerned that the Pitocin we have given you has not progressed your labor enough, and I don't want the baby to be in distress. 

_Wait what blip is in danger? _ Tears spring to my eyes,

"The baby is in trouble?!" I sob in panic, gripping Christians hand as my face pales and I start to shake. A look of panic sweeps across Christian's face.

"No Ana don't panic the baby is fine at the moment but if your labor does not speed up soon it may be a different story."

"What the fuck!" Christian snaps, "Why the hell did you scare us like that especially Ana?! Don't you think she is going through enough? Telling us the baby is trouble, what are you trying to do to her?!

"Christian!" I admonish

"I am not trying to scare either one of you Mr. Grey I am just giving you the honest truth about the situation if Ana's labor does not progress in the next 2 hours we are going to have to do a C-section for both their sakes."

She turns to me "Ana everything is fine for now, keep it mind and I will be back in an hour or so again to see where we are at."

I turn to Christian tears still running down my face.

"Don't leave me Christian." I beg…

"Ana I'm not going anywhere, do you hear me I. Am. Not. Leaving. You." Still sobbing I squeeze his hand harder

"Christian I need to see my mother please get her"

"Anything baby," He reaches for his phone and calls his mom,

"Mom…. Things are fine, Ana needs to see her mother and I am not leaving her side, please send Carla back here quickly….Thanks mom, love you too. Oh and mom…could you send dad too please….I..I..I need to talk to him if you don't mind?...Thanks"

"Your mom is on her way in Ana,"

At that moment my mother comes rushing into the room and is by my side in seconds standing next to Christian and grabs my other hand.

My eyes lock with hers "Ana sweetie its ok I'm here"

"Oh Mom…" I'm still sobbing,

"I am so scared the doctor says I'm not moving fast enough and the baby could end up trouble."

"Carla," Christian says softly, "please sit and talk with Ana, the doctor wants her to prepare for the possibility of a C-section I am going to step out…"

"NO!" I say panicking "don't leave me!"

I know he is not _leaving_ me but I need him here with me I can't do this without him.

"Ana its ok I will be right outside I need to speak with my dad,"

I nod,

"Sweetie I will be here with you while Christian talks with his father, its ok." I nod again and Christian bends over the bed and kisses me gently on the lips.

He lets go of my hand for the first time in 14 hours and walks outside. I feel slightly panicked, but even I realize he might need a break. I turn back to my mom who has now sat down where Christian was.

"Mom what am I going to do.?"

"Ana," she brings her hand up to my cheek to caress it whipping away my tears,

"It's ok stop crying, I know your overwhelmed and scared but you are safe and so is the baby. You are a very strong young woman, and it won't be the end of the world if you have to have a C-section, all that matters is bringing this baby, safely into the world. Listen, you have been a wonderful mother for the last 9 months by keeping him safe and protecting him and you and I both know that you will continue to protect him and keep him safe for the rest of your life. Having a C-section is not a bad thing; it just means you will do whatever you need to keep your baby safe. It's all going to be ok."

As I look into my mother's eyes, I know her words are true, I will do everything in my power to keep blip safe. This is why I needed to see my mother I needed to hear her voice, her kind words, and see her face I needed the reassuring presence that only my mother could give me. God I love her so much. I know everything will be fine now. I idly wonder if Christian is having a similar conversation with his dad, getting the re-assurance he needs about becoming a father.

"Mom I'm sorry"

"Sorry? For what darling"

"For putting you through this when I was born" I say smiling.

She laughs and so do I. "Oh honey, don't be sorry. I would not change a thing, and besides it was worth every minute, every drop of pain just to bring you into this world and be your mother. I am so proud of you and woman you have become and you too will feel the same the moment you see you baby for the first time, all of this will be forgotten."

I smile again.

My mom and I sit quite for a few minutes, I am just enjoying her comfort, and I begin to relax slightly. All of a sudden another contraction hits me, I'm panting squeezing my mother's hand while she strokes my cheek,

"Mom…I need…I need…," I'm gasping between breaths,

"What darling what do you need?"

"CHRISTIAN!" I scream as the pain intensifies rapidly, this is really really intense oh my!.

In a split second Christian bursts through the door, and is by my side instantly grasping my hand, sitting on the bed.

"Ana, I'm here love, I'm here, baby just breathe, its ok I'm here"

This contraction seems to go on forever the pain getting worse and worse, I can't breathe any longer I feel like I am gasping for precious air, "AHHH" I scream, griping Christian and my mother's hands in a vice like grip and just when I don't know if I can do this anymore the pain begins to lessen, slowly…slowly…slowly, and then it's gone and I can catch my breath.

"You're doing really well Ana" my mother says, I just look at her and nod, I turn and lock eyes with Christian, I can see the fear in his eyes, but fear of what I'm not sure, but my mom does… Standing and turning to look at my husband,

"Christian," he glances up at my mother as she places a hand on his shoulder, surprisingly he doesn't flinch or move away,

"It's ok the pain is natural it comes with childbirth, Ana is doing very, very well and there is nothing wrong with the situation, Ana and the baby are going to be just fine don't worry, stay strong for my daughter she needs you. You are going to be just fine you all are." she finishes smiling at him.

Leave it to my mom to know exactly what to say. Standing up he leans down and places a soft kiss on my mother's cheek,

"Thank you Carla, I will stay strong I will take care of her and the baby, I promise this on my life" comes his emotional response,

"I know" says my mom. "I love you both very much. Ana, if you are ok I am going to leave the two of you alone now and go back out with everyone else, I will be back if you need me"

I nod

"Thank you mom, I think I will be ok now, I love you" squeezing her hand slightly as she leans down and kisses my forehead

"I love you too sweetie it's all going to be ok don't worry, you're a fine mother I have every faith in you." She gives me another kiss.

She turns to leave the room, she stops briefly at the door and turns to watch the two of us, Christian is once again sitting in the chair by my bed holding my hand, caressing my cheek eyes locked to mine, my mom smiles, seeing the love pass between us and knowing I will be taken care of she leaves to join the others anxiously waiting.

"Christian what did you talk to your dad about?"

"Nothing baby don't worry about it"

"Christian…"

"Ana I just needed to talk to him that's all just needed to talk to _my_ _dad _nothing to worry about."

"Oh." and what I thought was true he too needed some re-assurance and it makes me smile, I know how hard it must have been to ask his dad for advice or help but I am proud that he is beginning to recognize that its ok to ask his parents and myself for help when he needs it and that it in turn makes him stronger.

"Thank you" I say

"For what?" he asked bemused.

Tears spring to my eyes, "For being you, being here, being strong and not leaving me" I sob "I could not do this without you."

"Baby you are the strong one", He gently wraps me in his arms,

"I am in awe of you I am so proud of how well you are doing, and how such a wonderful mother you have been to our son keeping him safe, I meant what I said to you that day in the meadow, I will do everything in my power to protect you and our son and to keep you both safe I will take care of our family for the rest of my life. I love you Ana!"

Tears continue to fall down my face, I love my husband so much and I am so tired, I want this to be over I just want to meet blip, too many emotions, damn hormones!

With no warning, like the others give me this contraction just hits me full on extreme pain immediately, "OW OW OW CHRISTIAN!" I am trying to curl in a ball fight the pain, control it somehow, it's not working,

"HELP ME PLEASE! CHRISTIAN!" I cry. My eyes closed trying to fight and find an escape

"ANA!" Christian pulls my face up

"Ana look at me!" he commands my eyes open and lock with his immediately, I am crying, and panting,

"Breathe with me baby, nice and slow, big deep breaths in and out nice and slow," he demonstrates, and I follow, breathing in and out, slowly and deeply, all the while squeezing his hand and staring into his beautiful grey eyes. God my husband is amazing.

About an hour and a half later Dr. Greene comes in with some not so great news…

"Mrs. Grey you've been in labor for 15 hours now. Your Contractions have slowed in spite of the Pitocin. We need to do a C-section- The Baby is in distress." Dr. Greene is adamant

"About fucking time!" Christian growls at her and Dr. Greene ignores him.

"Christian, quite." I squeeze his hand. My voice is low and weak and everything is fuzzy—the walls, the machines, the green-gowned people… I just want to go to sleep. But I have something I need to do first. Oh yes "I wanted to push him out myself."

"Mrs. Grey Please. C-section."

"Please, Ana," Christian pleads

"Can I sleep then?"

"Yes, baby, yes." It's almost a sob and Christian kisses my forehead.

"I want to see Lil' Blip"

"You Will."

"Okay" I whisper

"Finally," Dr. Greene mutters. "Nurse page the anesthesiologist. Dr. Miller, prep for a C-section. Mrs. Grey, we are going to move you to the OR."

"Move?" Christian and I speak at once

"Yes. Now"

And suddenly we're moving—quickly, the lights on the ceiling blurring into one long bright strip as I'm whisked across the corridor.

"Mr. Grey, you'll need to change into scrubs."

"What?"

"Now Mr. Grey"

He squeezes my hand and releases me.

"Christian." I call panic setting in,

We are through another set of doors, and in no time a nurse is setting up a screen across my chest. The door opens and closes, and there's so many people in the room. It's so loud…I want to go home

"Christian?" I search the faces in the room for my husband.

"He'll be with you in a moment, Mrs. Grey."

A moment later, he's beside me, in blue scrubs, and I reach for his hand,

"I'm frightened," I whisper

"No, baby, no. I'm here. Don't be frightened. Not my strong Ana." He kisses my forehead and I can tell by the tone of his voice that something's wrong.

"What is it?"

"What?"

"What's Wrong?"

"Nothing's Wrong. Everything's fine. Baby you're just exhausted." His eyes burn with fear.

"Mrs. Grey, the anesthesiologist is here. He's going to give you an epidural, and then we can proceed."

"She's having another contraction."

Everything tightens again like a steel band around my belly. Shit! "Christian!" I Crush Christian's hand as I ride it out. This is what's tiring-enduring this pain. I am so tired. I can feel the numbing liquid spread….spread down. I can concentrate on Christian's face on the furrow between his brows. He's tense. He's worried. _Why is he worried?_

"Can you feel this Ana?" Dr. Greene's disembodied voice is coming from behind the curtain.

"Feel what?'

"You can't feel it.?"

"No."

"Good. Dr. Miller, let's go."

"You're doing well, Ana"

Christian is pale. There is sweat on his brow. He's scared. _Don't be scared, Christian. Don't be scared. _

"I Love you," I Whisper

"Oh, Ana," he sobs. "I love you, too, so much."

I feel a strange pulling deep inside. Like nothing I've felt before. Christian looks over the screen and blanches but stares fascinated.

"What's happening?"

"Suction! Good…"

Suddenly, there's a piercing angry cry.

"You have a boy, Ana. Check his Apgar."

"Apgar is nine."

"Can I see him?" I gasp

Christian disappears from view for a second and reappears a moment later, holding my son, swathed in blue. His face is pink and covered in white mush and blood. My baby. My Blip…Theodore Raymond Grey.

When I glance at Christian, he has tears in his eyes.

"Here's your son, Mrs. Grey," he whispers, his voice strained and hoarse.

"Our Son," I breathe. "He's beautiful."

"He is," Christian says and plants a kiss on our beautiful boy's forehead beneath a shock of dark hair. Theodore Raymond Grey is oblivious. Eyes closed, his earlier crying forgotten, he's asleep. He is the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. So beautiful, I begin to weep.

"Thank you, Ana," Christian Whispers, and there are tears in his eyes, too.

I can't take my eyes off my husband and son. Christian is holding Teddy so gently and so protectively my heart swells. Christian comes over to my side, and leans down so I can give my baby boy a kiss. Tears still in my eyes.

"Mrs. Grey we are finished here. We are going to move you back to your room, and take your son to the nursery."

"No. Christian says softly.

"Mr. Grey," Dr. Greene begins, "its standard procedure to bring newborn babies to the nursery while the parents rest, especially the mother."

"No." Christian says again more forcefully but still quietly. "You are not taking our son anywhere; he will come back to the room with me and his mother. Ana has not even gotten a chance to hold her son yet."

"Mr. Grey, we need to bathe him and get his measurements."

"Then you had better figure out how to do that from the room because that is where he is going!"

Christian gives Dr. Greene his no nonsense look, and she nods. I smile, I know that we are not following procedure but I don't care I don't want to be separated from my son for one second. In this moment I am glad that my husband is an overbearing control freak that usually gets his way.

We make our way back to the room, Christian still holding our son; staring at him and me alternately he is in awe. Finally back in the room. I am allowed to sit up gently. Teddy is a getting cleaned up and his check up, I smile as Christian is hovering, and Christian never hovers. Teddy cries during this process , and it's such a sweet innocent sound, I am sure I won't feel that way at 2 A.M. but right now its perfect.

My son is now wrapped snuggly in a blue blanket and is content once again resting back in his father's arms. Christian walks over to me and sits on the bed and places our son in my arms. Finally I am holding my Blip, he the most precious thing I've ever seen I begin to cry again.

"Hello, my sweet perfect baby boy. I am your mommy and this is your daddy and we both love you so much."

Theodore just stays asleep completely secure in my arms I look up at Christian and our eyes lock. Tears running down my cheeks and tears in Christians eyes. He leans over and we kiss a gentle, love filled perfect kiss.

"Well Mrs. Grey you feel up to some visitors? I think we have some anxious people in the waiting room wanting to meet our Son." I nod,

"Yes I agree I don't know how long Taylor can keep everyone out of here especially our mothers!" I giggle.

"Fair point, well made, Mrs. Grey" he says with a laugh. "I will have Taylor let them in one or two at a time….Grandmothers first."

"Oh No Christian I want him to meet everyone at once, one big happy family. I like everyone around."

"Are you sure baby? It won't be too much for you?"

"Not at all, bring them all in. Please."

Christian calls out to Taylor.

"Sir" Taylor says as he enters the room.

"Taylor would you mind…"

"Taylor" I interrupt,

"Ma'am?"

"Would you please come here?" Taylor walks over.

"Taylor I would like to introduce you to Theodore, Teddy for short." Taylor looks a bit shocked and then smiles,

"It's nice to meet you Teddy….Congratulations Ana, Mr. Grey"

I smile at Taylor, "Thank you Taylor, and thank you for everything you have done for us especially today.

"My Pleasure Ma'am" Taylor says softly.

Christian smiles at Taylor. "Taylor would you please go out and tell our family that we are ready to see them and Taylor… Thank you."

"Sir" Taylor nods and walks out of the rooms.

"Ana, why did you want Taylor to meet Teddy first?"

"Because Christian, Taylor is an important part of our lives, and I know you see him as staff but I see him as part of our family, besides I thought he should meet his newest little 'boss in training'" I grin.

Christian smirks, "Fair Enough."

A few moments later the family is filling the room, Grace, and my mom rush over to the bed, Carrick, Elliot, Kate, Ray, Mia, Ethan and Bob all file in as well, Christian gets up to hug everyone with a huge smile on his face, my mom, Grace and Kate all bend over to hug me, Ray comes to stand by the other side of my bed. Congratulations coming from the entire family.

"So how much longer are you going to keep us all in suspense? Kate asks excitedly. "What is my new little nephew's name?"

Christian and I grin at each other. We decided on the name soon after we found out it was a boy and we decided not to tell anyone which was harder than we expected. Christian nods at me, he grasps his mother's hand, and I hold one of Ray's...

"Everyone," I pause glancing down at my son, then around the room which is so filled with love for my little man,

"I would like to introduce to you our son, Theodore Raymond Grey." My voice is hoarse as tears come to my eyes.

I look at Ray and he too has tears in his eyes he squeezes my hand, and Grace, of course, is weeping joyfully.

"That's such a perfect name!" Mia says excitedly!

Ray bends down to give me a hug, I whisper in his ear, "Thank you for everything Daddy, I love you always."

"I love you too baby girl" he rasps.

Christian hugs his mother as she sobs into his shoulder, "Thank you darling!" Your grandfather would be so honored.

"Mom, Thank you, I can never repay you for saving me. I would not be here if it were not for you and dad of course."

"Oh, Darling," She continues to sob.

I look around and everyone has tears in their eyes, enjoying this moment of pure love between the family all brought to the surface by this little miracle sleeping in my arms.

"Can we hold him?" My mom asks.

"Of course." I reply.

I gently hand Teddy to my mother. Over the next few hours as we all sit around and visit, chatting, Teddy gets introduced to each member of the family. The whole while, Christian sits next to me on the bed holding my hand, watching our family interacting with one another and watching them all completely fall in love with our son. There are moments where I see complete awe, on his face, as he sits quietly, I think he still has trouble comprehending all this emotion and love at times. I Squeeze his hand gently he looks down and smiles.

I am leaning against Christian; I am starting to dose a bit. Christian notices,

"As much as we are all enjoying your company, It been a long exhausting day for my beautiful wife and she needs to get some rest."

"That's my brother's nice way of telling us all to get the hell out of here." Grins Elliott

Christian grins back and Grace just shakes he head at her sons.

"No you don't have to leave," I say yawning

Mia Chuckles, "Ana you can barely keep your eyes open, we could all use some rest, we can come back tomorrow."

"OK" I say with a tired smile.

After a steady stream of hugs and goodbye's we are once again alone, just the 3 of us. Teddy is once again in my arms and I don't really want to let him go, he begins to fuss and cry I do my best to comfort him but realize he probably needs to eat, I have Christian call the nurse, who helps show me how to feed my son, the sensation is something I am sort of use to with all the attention my husband gives to my breasts in bed, but this is a complexly new concept the fact that I am feeding my son it really is an amazing experience, and once again tears fall down my cheeks.

"Is something wrong? Does it hurt? Why are you crying?" Christian asks concerned,

I shake my head, "No it doesn't hurt, it's just kind of amazing how much one person can depend so fully on you. I mean we are his world Christian, You and I. We are completely responsible for this precious little boy. He will depend on us for everything. Christian, I have so much love for him already, I mean I loved him as he was growing inside me but finally getting to meet him, that love has grown in infinite size today; I love him so much. I will do everything I can to be the best mother to him and I know you will be the best father you can be and well, It's just an overwhelming feeling when you think about it, and my emotions are all over the place and I'm sorry I am such a mess…"

"Baby... hush its ok, you are not a mess you're beautiful and you're tired. You have nothing to be sorry for, it's been a very long day for us all and you…well you have worked hard today and have been through a lot. You can cry all you want."

He wraps an arm around my shoulder as I nestle closer, Teddy still in my arms.

"I too am overwhelmed by the love I feel for him. I sat here today watching this little man meet our families and I think for the first time I could feel all the love not just for Teddy, but for you and me and the rest of our family, I mean that's what we all are, one big family. It took you and our son for me to finally realize that, and for me to hold him to know that I want to be a great father to him. Just like my dad was to me. Our son, our sweet precious little Teddy will want for nothing, I love him so much as well. To think you and I created him out of love." He leans down and kisses Teddy on the forehead.

"We have come so far Anastasia. Thank you for making me face life and not stay hidden in my office or my apartment. Thank you Ana for loving me, for giving me a life worth living, for giving me you, for giving me our son, for giving me _more_, you have given me the world and for this I will do everything in my power to make you happy and keep you both safe at my side."

"Christian, I love you so much! Thank you for being mine. I can't ever picture my life without you. You made me come alive, and have given me everything I could possibly ask for or want. You are my world Christian, you and our perfect little boy here. I am so blessed to have you." Tears streaming down my face. I am so tired.

Christians stands up and brings the rocking chair over next to the bed. He bends down give me a gentle, deep kiss.

"Thank you Ana, I love you, time to sleep."

I bend down and kiss Teddy, "Good night my sweet boy, Mommy loves you so much"

Christian takes him in his arms, and I lay back on my bed, gingerly turning to my side so I can watch my men. He sits in the rocker with Teddy in his arms and begins to rock him gently just staring at him completely in awe.

He glances at me I smile, "Sleep" He says.

Oh bossy fifty.

"Goodnight Christian I love you."

"I Love you too Ana, please sleep." And with a smile on my face as I watch father and son, my eyes begin to close slowly until finally I sleep.


	2. First FatherSon Talk

SORRY ABOUT THE CHAPTER 2 CONFUSION I UPLOADED CHAPTER 1 AS CHAPTER 2, THEN COULD NOT GET CHAPTER 2 TO LOAD. SORRY BUT WITHOUT FUTHER DELAY HERE IS CHAPTER 2 HOPE YOU ENJOY!

***ok just need to clarify, from the first chapter, Ana and Christian have moved into the big house overlooking the sound, in the previous chapter it mentioned Sawyer going to Escala to collect the Hospital bags, I did not feel the need to explain this before, but now I probably should. There were 2 sets of bags, of course we all know Fifty and he is always prepared. One set at their home on the water, and one set at Escala that way they were prepared no matter when Ana went into labor. Just thought I would clear it up now so there isn't any confusion reading later chapters.

Also thanks for the reviews this story was only going to be one chapter but with the warm reviews I decided to add _more_ enjoy!***

"Good Morning Mommy" Christian Grins as he walks into the room. "Good Morning Daddy" I smile.

Christian is carrying a box with some delicious pastries, and TEA! Thank Goodness. I could really use some and the tea the nurse brought me well it was gross!

"Well Daddy what have you brought this morning?"

"Well I have brought a decent breakfast. I know you have been less than thrilled with the food here."

"You really are the perfect husband you know that?" I say with a smile. Christian Smirks he walks over leans and gives me a kiss, and kisses Teddy on the forehead,

"and how is our son this morning?"

"Perfect." I reply looking down at Teddy who is asleep again. "I have just finished feeding him and he has fallen back asleep."

"God Ana, he is so perfectly precious, I can't believe how much I love this little man."

"I know Christian me too." Christian sits on the bed,

I hand Teddy over to his father, as I begin to eat the amazing food my husband has brought me, Christian just gazes down at his son, I know that Christian is still trying to absorb and deal with the overwhelming emotions he's feeling. He admitted all off this to Teddy last night while Christian thought I was asleep:

_"Hey there my little man, Do you know who I am? I am your Daddy. Well son this is going to be our first father son talk. I want you to know that I will always be honest with you, having said that I have to tell you that when your mommy first told me that you were joining our family, I freaked out and did something I never should have done. I hurt mommy, something I never wanted to do. I was just so scared about you. I was so afraid that I would not be a good daddy to you. You see my sweet Teddy, I was not so lucky at first to have a mommy like you; it wasn't until your grandma Grace found me that I finally found a family, I felt safe, and protected, I no longer had to worry about being hungry or getting hurt anymore. But man was I a rough child growing up. I got into several fights, and when I was 15 I got myself into a relationship with a much older woman and well my son it helped me get my life back on track but it was a bad relationship, when it ended the woman and I remained friends and business partners until about 9 months ago. You see son when mommy told me about you I got really upset because I was so scared, I went and saw that woman, who your mommy has never liked. That woman has tried to bring back to the dark place several times before and I just could not see it, but your mommy did, your mommy shines with a special light that I don't think could ever go you and she fought for me and for us, and continued to fight the dark place and that woman. Your mommy won, she does that often, but that will be our little secret. You see my son, I never thought that I was capable of loving someone or even two someones this much, this quickly and this strong. It wasn't until I met your mother that I began to realize that someone other than my family could love me, I still wonder sometimes why she does, and how I got so lucky. Anyway, somehow your mommy forgave me for what I did. Mommy is such a strong amazing wonderful woman so full of love and trust. She is also very stubborn she gets it from Grandpa Ray, I hope you did not inherit that, but don't tell mommy I said that. She helped me to see that I could be a good daddy to you. I desperately want to be a good father to you, I will try my best, I want you to be proud to be my son, proud to be a Grey. My Teddy you will never want for anything, I am going to love you and protect you for the rest of my life. I will make sure no harm ever comes to you, I want you to have a childhood have than what I had, you will be safe, and loved. Know this as well, I will always be there for you no matter what the problem or situation is I will always love you. I know that you don't have any idea what I am telling you but that's ok. I will tell you every day that I love you and I will protect you. Just know this my son, I love you and your mommy more than words can say the two of you have made my world complete." _

It was hard to keep my tears quiet last night listening to Christian talk to Teddy. I know he meant every word he said and it was just so moving to hear him be so honest with his son. The memory brings a smile to my face.

"Earth to mommy…Ana you there? Christian snaps me out of my thoughts. He is walking around the room with Teddy,

"Sorry I zoned out."

"Are you ok Ana? What were you thinking about?"

"Oh not much just hoping I get to go home today I mean it has been 3 days and I am just anxious to bring Teddy home."

"I know you are baby, I am too, and Dr. Greene was pleased with your recovery yesterday so chances look good today. She will be in soon and we will have our answer."

I continue eating my breakfast; Christian informs me that he called everyone to tell them to wait until they hear from us as to whether or not we get to go home today. He did not want everyone around while we were trying to leave.

I frown,

"What?" he asks,

"Well Christian, while I understand why you did that I am a little upset that you did not discuss it with me first,"

"Ana, I don't want you overwhelmed you know how I operate,"

"Yes Christian I do know why you do things the way you do but you need to understand that I am still your wife and you can't just make all the decisions for me. Come. Sit down on the bed with me. Look Christian I love you so much, you know this, and I am so thankful for everything you have done for me over the last few days especially,"

"Ana Its.." I put my hand up and he stops.

"Christian I know it's what you do and I love you for that I know that I don't ever have to worry about anything, you make me feel so loved and cherished. However, the point is we are a team, and yes I agree I do not want everyone around while we are trying to leave but I do think it's important that…, well that our mothers are here just them. Everyone else can come over later or tomorrow depending on when and if we get to leave today; but Christian I really want our moms here, it just feels like this is something they should be here for, I want them at the house when we bring our son home."

"Ok, Mrs. Grey lets _compromise," _he smirks. "How about you let me take you and our son home, and we have our mothers waiting for us at the house. Ana I really just want it to be the 3 of us, leaving the hospital, you know our own little family."

I smile, as my eyes water slightly,

"Yes Christian that sounds like a good plan, I would very much like to leave just with our little family." I lean up to kiss my husband. I think I am still in a world of shock; we actually just had a calm rational discussion about our disagreement. This does not happen often if ever.

Dr. Greene come in about an hour later and checks me over.

"Well Ana, you seem to be healing just fine, and there have been no complications, I think it's safe to say you can go home today."

"Oh thank you Dr. Greene, I am so excited!" Dr. Greene smiles,

"Just remember to continue to take it easy, no heavy lifting, no strenuous exercise and you should lay off sex for about 6 weeks."

Christian and I both frown at that comment I don't think we have _ever_ gone that long. Dr. Greene Smirks at our reaction.

"Let me put it this way, there should be no penetration for six weeks, however if you are creative, you can still find, shall we say, pleasure?" Christian grins wolfishly and I blush.

"Thanks Dr. Greene, how much longer until we can leave?"

"Well I am going to hand the paperwork to the discharge nurse so I would say about an hour."

"Wonderful!" I say grinning. I reach over to the table and grab my phone and begin to dial, Christian comes and sits by the bed once more.

"Mom…Yeah things are great, the doctor said I can go home today…I know I am happy and anxious to get Teddy home…listen I was calling to ask you something, well I know Christian has already called you today, but he and I had a discussion about that and well we would like to leave the hospital just the 3 of us but would really love it if you and Grace were at the house when we got home, you know just the two Grandmothers…yes well we figured we could have a welcome home Teddy party the following day, and the rest of our friends and family can come by anytime to visit….you will great thanks mom see you soon!"

I look at Christian he is smiling at me.

"What?" I ask

"Nothing you just seem so…Happy"

"Christian all I fee is love and happiness right now, I have you, our son, and our family all around us. I am so happy to be going home, to be taking Teddy home, and to have our mothers around. We are just really lucky people." I get Christians shy smile in response.

"Are you going to call Grace?" I ask

"Yes I suppose I should" he hands Teddy back to me he takes his phone out and presses a number

"Hi mom, no everything is fine, Dr. Greene told us that Ana could go home today, yeah we are both excited and anxious, listen I know told you earlier that we did not want the family around today while we were trying to leave, and well Ana, kind of scolded me for that.."

I have to giggle, I don't think Christian has ever admitted to being scolded

"yeah so anyway, we decided that we would leave just the 3 of us but would really love it if you and Carla were at the house when we came home….No just the two of you…well I am sure Carla would love to help arrange a get together for the following day…Yes Ana has already called her…you will great Thanks mom. Love you too."

I giggle again when Christian hangs up the phone

"Scolded huh? What did you mom think of that?"

"She laughed and said that it's a good thing you scolded me." I giggle again

"Oh Mrs. Grey I do love the sound of your giggle."

"Well Mr. Grey you keep giving me reasons to giggle. Now that we have both called our moms, would you please take Teddy so that I can change into my comfy clothes so that we can go home?"

"Absolutely, I will call Taylor and tell him to get the car ready as well."

A little less than an hour later I am being wheeled out of the hospital holding Teddy in my arms as Christian walks beside us. Taylor has pulled the car around. Christian gently helps me into the back of the SUV and then takes Teddy and secures him in his car seat, and climbs in himself.

"Home please Taylor" Christian says "

Yes Sir." Taylor responds.

Our little family is finally on our way home and I could not be any Happier than I am in this moment.


	3. Teddy Goes Home

***Sorry if the last chapter was a little difficult to read I was so anxious to upload it for everyone that I forgot to finish spacing it out. Thank you so much for the reviews, I will keep writing if you keep liking ***

Taylor drives through the gate and up to the door. "Ahh Home", I sigh happily. "Yes my Ana, home sweet home, shall we take our son inside?" "Yes, my love I think we should." Christian gets out of the car and walks around to my door and opens it and I gently take a sleeping Teddy out of his car seat ad Christian helps me out of the car. With both my arms cradled around our son, Christian has one hand around my waist holding me close we walk up our steps to the front door, Christian opens the door and we walk in never once removing his arm from my waist. "Welcome home Teddy." Whispers Christian, as he bends down and kisses his son's head. My mother and Grace are waiting for us in the living room "Welcome Home" they both say in unison, walking over to us, we exchange hugs between and both Grandmothers lean down to kiss Teddy. I feel the tears welling up again.

"Thank you both for being here when we came home it just means so much to have you here!" I say as the tears fall down my cheeks.

"Oh Ana sweetie we are more than happy to be here and I have to say we both love the fact that it's just us," my mom grins gives me a wink.

"I absolutely agree." states Grace, "I was a little annoyed with my son when he asked for the family to leave you be today, but I am glad you talked some sense into him Ana." Grace gives a teasing grin to Christian. Christian smiles back. "Why don't you let us take Teddy while we eat you must be craving something far better than hospital food Ana, Mrs. Jones has lunch ready for us if you're interested." Grace offers

"Oh yes that would be wonderful, I am hungry. But first where is Mrs. Jones?" I ask. Looking at me quizzically then understanding, Christian walks towards the Kitchen, "Gail would you mind coming out here for a moment?" "Certainly, Mr. Grey and welcome home." Gail smiles, as she walks from the kitchen into the living room, "Mrs. Grey Welcome Home" she says excitedly.

"Thank you Mrs. Jones, and please call me Ana." I walk toward her. "Mrs. Jones I would like to introduce you to the newest member of the household this is Theodore Raymond Grey, Teddy for short."

"Oh Ana, Mr. Grey he is absolutely adorable!" she sobs. "I am so happy for the both of you!" "Thank you Gail," Christian says softly "I want you both to know that I am here to help out with anything you might need."

"Thank you" I say "I know right now I could use some decent food." I giggle.

"It's already for you I have made, Grilled Chicken Cesar Salad with cheese, grapes and bread." "Oh that sounds amazing, let's eat!" I say happily. I hand Teddy over to Grace and take a seat at the table. My mom helps Mrs. Jones bring the food out to the table and has a seat. The grandmothers take turns holding Teddy while the other eats, and well I just eat, finally some edible food. Christian alternates his gaze from me eating and his son sleeping. I can see a mixture of calm and fear in his eyes, at the hospital there were doctors and nurses around to help us, but here, once our mothers leave, it will just be us. I too am a little nervous, but I know we will be just fine, besides if anything major happens our mothers are not too far away.

After a nice relaxing and delicious lunch, Teddy begins to whimper in my mother's arms, I guess he wants his lunch too. "I think my son is getting hungry if you will excuse me, I gather Teddy from my mother's arms and walk into the living room I get comfy on the couch and start to feed him. My mom comes in and sits down next to me on the couch.

"Amazing isn't it?" my mom asks.

"Yes it really is. I was telling Christian how amazing it is that this one little person depends solely on Christian and me. It's kind of overwhelming and frankly a little terrifying. Mom I have never been so happy, content and terrified all at once. I mean from here on out everything I do will have some effect on Teddy, what happens if I fail?"

"Ana!" she scolds, "That is impossible, you won't fail, you are going to be a great mother you, have such a huge capacity for love and in the end that's all that parenting is…loving you child and keeping them safe. You and Christian will learn all the parenting things as you go." I laugh. "Oh mom Christian and I have read almost every book out there; Christian insisted we read as much as possible, you know how he gets always prepared." My mom laughs as well

"Oh Ana, you will learn so much more from actually being a parent then reading those silly books, some of the advice is good but you and Christian will learn what works for you. Just because a book tells you to do something doesn't mean you should. It depends completely on what is best for Teddy. Keep in mind that you and Christian will have different opinions as well, just remember talk it out and try to see things from each other's perspectives, understanding that you both want what's best for Teddy. As long as that is always the final goal you will always find a way."

"Thanks Mom, I know Christian and I will be just fine once we get over the initial nervousness."

Just as I finish with Teddy's feeding and he is once again asleep, Grace and Christian come and joined us in the living room. "Ana, Christian, Carla and I have something to discuss with you. Seeing as how you have just gotten home and would like to settle down maybe try and form a routine, we decided that perhaps instead of a big get together tomorrow we could plan a Barbeque for this Saturday. It would give you time to adjust to being home for a few days."

"Now we know this won't stop family from wanting to come by this week to see you guys but it should at least deter your friends until Saturday. What do you two think?" my mother adds.

I look to Christian and smile, that's all I seem to be doing lately, Christian answers with his shy grin. "That sounds just fine mom, Carla. I think the few days to adjust to being back home is a great idea. Thank you!"

"It's our pleasure," Grace responds, "and we don't want you to be concerned about anything at all we will take care of everything."

"Thank you we appreciate it all, and thank you both again for being here. It's been a perfect homecoming." I respond. "Well my dears, I think it's time we made our exit, and allowed you some time to settle in." Grace says as she rises from the couch, Christian rising as well. "Yes and if you two need anything, anything at all, don't hesitate to call us." My mother says as she helps me from the couch. Teddy stirs awake, but doesn't cry he just looks at me. "Hello my Teddy Bear" I kiss his cheek. We say good bye to my mom and Grace, and watch as they leave.

"Well Mrs. Grey, we are alone now just the 3 of us what would you like to do?"

"Well Mr. Grey our son is awake and content at the moment how about we give him a tour of his new home?"

"Sounds good to me love." Christian takes Teddy and cradles him in his arms and Teddy just stares at Christian.

"God Ana, I fall more in love with him every time I look at him. The way he is looking at me right now, I don't know it's just amazing." I smile. "He knows, Christian, he knows you are his Daddy, he knows you love him, he loves you too, he feels safe with you." I hook my arm through my husband's elbow and lean on his arm, as we walk back into the house.

We walk Teddy around the house, showing him both mine and Christian's office, the library. We spend some time out on the back patio with the amazing view, it's just such a beautiful day the three of us just relax for a while, Teddy falls asleep for a bit in Christians arms. By the time Teddy wakes up again, Mrs. Jones has just about finished getting dinner ready. She has made pasta with a buttered garlic sauce that is simply divine. Mrs. Jones has asked to hold Teddy while Christian and I eat. We agree, watching her with him, walking around and talking to him I know she too has fallen in love.

After dinner, we continue Ted's tour and show him upstairs, our room, the guest rooms and last but not least his nursery. The Nursery is painted with beautiful hand painted mural of Winnie the Pooh and friends. It was one of my favorite collections of stories when I was growing up. Christian had wanted a sports themed nursery, baseball and such, we agreed that for now it would be Winnie the Pooh and when Teddy got a little older we would redo his room with the baseball theme. "Well Theodore, this is your room. What do you think?" Christian is talking to Teddy, walking him around his room, showing him the pictures of the family we have on his wall, and the stuffed animals and toys up on shelves. I have settled in the luxurious rocker that Christian insisted I have, he told me that I would need to be comfortable while I was nursing Ted. As I relax in the rocker watching Christian I am amazed at how calm and content I feel. Christian has turned facing me. "I think he approves of his room Mommy, good choice in picking out the mural." Christian states in a soft voice.

I giggle "Why thank you Daddy, I am glad Teddy is happy with it."

Teddy begins to fuss a bit and Christian freezes. He talks to Teddy in a calming voice, gently swaying back and forth but Ted just get louder. Christian looks at me with "a _what do I do?" _ look in his eyes. I smile softly. "I think your son want his dinner now, what do you think Daddy?" I ask Christian to try to relieve the slight panic I see in his eyes. Christian nods as his eyes calm, realizing he has done nothing wrong. He walks over and places Teddy in my arms. As I begin to feed Teddy, Christian looks at us for a moment then walks over to the book shelf and picks up the "The Complete Adventures of Winnie the Pooh" storybook. He comes and sits down in the rocking chair next to me and in a very gentle voice he begins to read Teddy his very first bedtime story. I can't help the tears.

Teddy has fallen asleep listening to the sound of his father's voice. As Christian finishes the story I glance at him with a smile on my face, and Christian looks down at Teddy. We sit for a moment in the peaceful silence.

"Shall we put him in his cradle and go to bed Daddy? I had not realized how tired I was until I sat in this amazing chair."

"Sounds like a plan love." I rise gently and walk over the cradle Christian bends down to give him a kiss, I too give him a kiss on his cheek, and lay him gently in his cradle, "Sweet dreams my son, Mommy loves you." I say softly. "Good Night Teddy, Daddy loves you too my son." Christian switches on the monitor and the lullaby music and we both quietly leave the nursery. Once in the hallway, Christian wraps his arm around my waist and we walk in silence back to our room.

I am curled under the blankets in bed waiting for my husband to finish brushing his teeth. Christian climbs into bed wearing his pajama bottoms and no shirt. Mmmm he is such a delicious sight, 6 weeks is going to be a very _very _ long time. He stretches out beside me pulling me into his arms; I curl up next to him, my head resting on his chest one arm draped across his stomach.

"Thank you Ana."

"Hmmm, for what love?"

"For being you and for giving me our son."

"Christian you have already thanked me for that, I should be thanking you as well, you did help me make him you know?" I sense his grin as he continues to stroke my arm.

"I know I have thanked you but I will probably do it every day. I am so lucky that it was you that fell into my office, it was you who fell in love with me, it was you who gave me hope, and you who gave me more. I love you Ana, more then you could possibly know."

I lift my head to look at my husband "Christian I know how you feel. I could not live my life without you or our son, thank you for falling in love with me. I too love you more than words can say. Thank you as well for giving me our son."

"Good night Ana, I love you!" He kisses me gently lovingly on the lips. "Goodnight Christian, I love you too." I breathe. I return my head to his chest and close my eyes. I am gently rocked to sleep by the steady rise and fall of my husband breathing.


	4. Protecting Whats Mine

It's Saturday, I lie awake in bed, with Christian curled around me, it is about 8a.m. and I know I only have a few minutes left until Teddy awakes for the day. We have been home for 5 days now and have started to form a routine. Teddy goes to bed at 8p.m, wakes up at about every 4 hours to nurse, which means I of course am up as well, and surprisingly so it Christian. I have heard a lot of other moms who say that their husbands never get up with them. I really am a luck lady. I decide I am going to let Christian sleep and I quietly slip out of bed. I walk down the hall to the nursery; Teddy is lying in his cradle looking up at his mobile just watching it.

"Good Morning Teddy Bear" I say as I gently pick him up and hold him in my arms. I walk over to the changing table and change his diaper.

"Did you sleep well, sweetie? I hope you had good dreams Teddy. I know I did. They were dreams of you and your daddy." I pick him up and we walk over to the rocking chair, we settle in and Teddy begins to eat.

"I dreamt about your Daddy teaching you to fish and to play catch, of course you are still too young to learn about all that, but you know that your daddy is a really smart man and he has so much he is going to teach you. You do know how much you are loved right my sweet Teddy? Mommy and Daddy, Grandma Grace, and Grandma Carla, Poppa Carrick and Poppa Ray, Uncle Elliott, Auntie Kate, Auntie Mia, Ethan, Bob, even Gail, Taylor, and Sawyer love you. You have a wonderful family around you Theodore, people who are excited to watch you grow up and become an Amazing young man just like your father, although I do hope you did not inherit his temper." I whisper. "Me too." I whip my head, and watch as Christian strolls into the room with a grin on his face and just his Pajama bottoms that hang in that way. "I don't know if your mommy could handle both of us." He says as he leans down to kiss my lips.

"Good morning Ana."

"Hi" I say shyly, "how much did you overhear?"

"Just you telling our son how much he is loved."

"I was trying to let you sleep some."

"I can't sleep unless you're with me Ana you know that."

"Well Mr. Grey, I believe your son is finished eating what do you say we go eat ourselves?"

"Sounds good Mrs. Grey"

"Christian will you take Teddy? I would like to go get my robe."

"I'll get it." He jumps up and practically sprints down the hall. _Hmm what is that all about? He never refuses to hold his son. I guess he is trying to be helpful and well he didn't really refuse. Oh well._

Christian comes back in 3 minutes; he has my robe and has put on a t-shirt. I stand and Christian takes Teddy from me. _See Ana, he still loves his son, and enjoys holding him. _I think I might be over thinking everything which seems to have gotten worse with all the raging hormones flying trough me. Christian and I make our way downstairs for breakfast.

"Good morning Ana, Mr. Grey" Mrs. Jones say with a smile. She glances down at Ted, sitting in Christians arms, "and good morning Teddy. I hope you all slept well."

"Good Morning Mrs. Jones." I reply back with a smile. "Yes we did sleep well thank you, how about you?"

"Just fine dear, what can I make you for breakfast this morning?"

"I'd like an Omelet with cheese and peppers, with a side of fruit and toast." states Christian.

"Oh that sounds good, I too would like and omelet without the peppers, not sure yet how those would affect Teddy." I say.

"Coming right up" Gail replies with a grin.

Christian puts teddy in his bouncy seat on the counter next to him, as Mrs. Jones places breakfast in front of us. We dig in.

Christian has finished his breakfast and is talking to Ted, I have just finished breakfast, and am helping clear the dishes, and the phone rings.

"Hi Grace, we are good, how are you? ... yes we have just finished breakfast…yes of course it's still ok….yeah that sounds good anything I can do?...you sure?...ok we will see you around 1p. Bye"

"That was you mom, she wanted to make sure it was still ok for everyone to come over today."

"Oh yeah I kinda forgot about that. I was going to see if you wanted to have a picnic down by the water today."

"Oh that sounds nice, can I take a rain check on that Love?"

"Yeah I guess." Christian pouts slightly "but that means I have to share you two."

"Don't start pouting Mr. Grey you know what that does to me and your family will be over shortly." I say with a grin.

"Hmm Mrs. Grey you are tempting but we are on Doctors orders 5 more weeks to wait. I think I may have to schedule some extra sessions with Claude work off some of this extra…tension."

"You really think that will help?" I giggle

Teddy begins to fuss. "I think our son has his opinions on that topic as well." I go to pick him up, "Ana I got him, why don't you go shower and get dressed, I think we are due for some Father/Son time."

I reach up to kiss Chrisitan "I will take you up on that offer baby, Thank you."

I take my time in the shower, I allow myself to just relax under the cascade of hot water and it feels amazing, these moments have been rare this week but I guess I should get use to quick showers for a while. I am taking the time to realize how crazy my life has been I mean just a year ago, I was a college graduate with the hopes of finding an internship at a publishing company and working my way up the ladder. Never would I have guessed that I would have fallen in love and married, _the_ Christian Grey, the richest, sexiest, most wonderful man I could ever imagine, be living in this beautiful home, become pregnant, be and Editor and soon to be CEO, all the shit with Jack Hyde and Mrs. Robinson, have the most precious son in the world, and have more money than I could ever imagine. Man what a crazy year, I think as I climb out of the shower and get dressed.

I make my way downstairs my heart stops at the sweet sight before me, Christian is on his stomach on the floor, with Teddy lying next to him on his back and they are playing with some baby toy. Tears well in my eyes, I catch Gail out of the corner of my eyes and she too has stopped what she is doing and watching my husband with a soft content look on her face. She turns to look at me and gives me a warm loving smile, I turn back to my husband and son, Christian must have caught me out of the corner of his eye, he looks up and me and grins.

"Look Teddy, doesn't mommy look as pretty as every today."

Trying to control the tears, I walk over to my men and still not being able to lie on my stomach comfortably I sit down on the floor opposite Christian.

"And what are my two favorite people doing?"

"We are just hanging out; I am imparting great wisdom upon my son."

"Oh really Mr. Grey and what wisdom might this be?" I ask with a grin on my face.

"Top Secret Mrs. Grey, Isn't that that right son?" I can't help but giggle.

"I think it's my turn to shower now, I'll be back down shortly." Christian sits up and leans over to give me a kiss. I watch him as he stands and walks upstairs.

"Well my sweet boy what do you say we go get you dressed as well, we will have to find an outfit for you that both your Aunties will approve of." I gather Teddy in my arms and make my way upstairs. I settle on a white onesie, jeans and a white button down shirt, and white socks. Teddy looks like a mini Christian, the family will love it.

Christian Ted, and I are sitting in the living room, Christian is reading a book to Ted, and I am checking my email on my laptop, when the Taylor comes in to announce that Grace, Carrick, my mom, and Bob are driving thought the gate.

"Thank you Taylor" I say and close the laptop, I jump up and head to the door.

I open the door, just as Grace begin to knock,

"Ana! How are you sweetie?"

"Good Grace, How are you?"

"Just fine, now where is my grandson?"

I laugh "He is in the living room with your son."

I receive hugs from Carrick, my mom and Bob as I welcome them all in, as I do, Kate Pulls up with Elliot, Mia and Ethan, followed closely by Ray. It feels really, really, great to have the whole family around, I absolutely love it.

My mom and Grace have brought over hamburgers and chicken to grill, and have prepared, pasta salad, fruit salad, an assortment of fresh veggies, and Mrs. Jones has made chocolate chip cookies for later. Teddy is currently in the arms of Auntie Kate who could not be any happier. Carrick is grilling, while, they guys all stand around and talk baseball and fishing.

"Ok who's next?" Asks Kate "I need to use the ladies room"

"Oh Oh Me Me!" says Mia excitedly. Kate hands Ted to Mia, and she just grins as she settles down in her chair.

"I am going to go get more water anyone else need anything?" I ask

No Thank you's coming from around the table.

I head inside.

I am stopped dead in my tracks, on the table by the front door, is a huge beautiful basket of flowers, and a bottle of champagne "where did that come from?" I say out loud. "Gail where did this basket come from?"

"I'm not sure Ana, I was in the pantry. Is there a card?"

I walk over and check there is a card, I open it and as I read it the air leaves my lungs and my anger flares.

_Congratulations Christian _

_on becoming a father_

_I hope you can handle it_

_If not you know where to find me_

_E.L._

"TAYLOR, SAWYER, RYAN!" I am yelling loudly all 3 emerge from Taylor's office.

"Mrs. Grey What's wrong" Taylor asks.

"Taylor where did this basket come from I want to know who delivered this right now!"

"Um…" Ryan begins to speak "Mrs. Grey I brought the basket in a delivery boy dropped it off at the gate." he looks concerned.

Christian has come into the house now he heard me yelling. "What is going on?"

I turn on my heels and face Christian my anger easily seen across my face as I glare at my husband, Christian's face pales slightly.

"I am sorry Sir, I did not realize that this would be a problem" Ryan says apologetically.

"What is the problem, what is going on here?" Christian's voice rising slightly.

"It seems you got a package my dear husband" my voice is menacing low and cold.

Christian steps carefully toward me. I hand him the card. I see shock in his eyes.

"Why the hell is she sending you this?" I hiss "You told me you cut all ties and contact with her."

"You are all dismissed" Christian orders. Sawyer, Ryan and Taylor all return to the office.

"Ana," he begins trying to control his temper I can tell he is pissed about my attitude toward him in front of the staff, but frankly I don't give a flying fuck if he is pissed.

"I don't know why she sent this, I have not spoken to her since that night, I've told you this and I would appreciate next time you not act like this in front of the staff."

"Christian I don't give a shit about the staff right now, and if that what you want to focus on then we have a big issue right now!" I can't believe this, he has gotten a card from that woman practically telling him that he can't handle being a father and that she will be waiting for him and he wants to focus on my reaction around the staff…. Is he nuts?

"Ana, I am sorry. I have no idea why she sent this over. Maybe she is trying to be nice."

"Did you read the same card I did Christian? She is telling you that she will be waiting for you the moment you feel you have failed as a father, she is still throwing herself at you and you are defending her by saying she is trying to be nice? Are you kidding me right now?"

God I am so furious How fucking dare she tell Christian that he can't handle being a father and how fucking dare she tell him she will be waiting for him. Why the fuck cant she just leave us alone?

"Ana…" I put my hand up he stops and stands quietly, I take a deep breath and look Christian in the eyes.

"Christian Grey," I begin, tears are running down my cheeks but the fight and determination in my voice are still there. "I am your wife, I have every right to be upset about the fact that she is coming after you again, I have every right to defend you any possible way that I can, and if you even think for one minute that you are not an amazing father then I will personally go over to her house and beat the living shit out of her for putting that thought into your head do you understand me?" He nods. "Good, and another thing. If you think for one second that I am going to allow you to defend her you are dead wrong. I believe you when you say you have not had any contact with her since that night and if you even begin to think about running to her for anything you had better drop that thought now. Or you will find yourself sleeping somewhere other than our bed understood?" He nods again never breaking eye contact with me. "One more thing, don't ever scold me again for not behaving properly in front of the staff because frankly I just don't care. And right now I have a million hormones racing around my body and I make no apologies for the way I have just behaved, I think I am entitled." Christian just stands still looking at me not really knowing what to say or do next. I make the first move. "I am going upstairs to calm myself down, don't follow me, I will be down in a little while, and that shit better be out of my house by the time I do come back down."

I walk past Christian tears still running down my cheeks, Kate is frozen in the hallway, no doubt she heard the entire thing. I see her glare at Christian and she follows me upstairs. I briefly hear Grace talking to Christian as he tries to explain what's going on. I walk to our room and fall onto the bed and let the tears flow. Kate walks in.

"Ana…you ok?"

"Yeah Kate I am ok. It's just the hormones that are making me cry so much. I assume you heard the whole thing?"

"Yeah, Sorry for that, I don't think I have ever seen you so mad." Kate grins and it brings a smile to my face as well.

"That woman brings it out in me. I can't stand her and I hate the games she plays with Christian's mind and emotions. I mean can you believe her nerve telling him 'she hopes he can handle being a father' I mean what the hell is that about?"

"I don't know." Kate says gently

"I have never liked that woman, even before I met her I hated her. She has always been after Christian trying to bring him back into the darkness into that lifestyle. She does not even know who he is anymore. I mean yes he still likes his control but he is so much more, and she just makes me angry when she tries to ruin all the progress he has made on himself, I won't let that happen Kate. I won't let her get her claws into my husband again. I won't" I say adamantly.

"My god Ana, I must say I like this version of you all ready to go 'Ana Tyson' again. Want me to help you kick her ass?" both Kate and I burst out laughing. I can always count on Kate to be on my side no matter what, she would do anything for me and I her. We hug.

"Kate can you do me a favor? Can you ask Christian to come up here please, I need to talk to him to tell him he is not the one I am mad at."

"Sure thing Steele, anything else?" she rises to leave

"No that's all. And Kate….Thanks…" I smile. Kate smiles back and blows me a kiss.

I get up and walk into the bathroom. I wash my face and redo my hair. I hear Christian knock on the door

"Ana?" his voice is hesitant. I walk back into the bedrooms Christian has closed the door, but has not come any further into the room.

"Hi" I say softly "Hi" he responds and I can see the concern, and anxiety in his eyes at not knowing what to expect.

"Christian you know that I am not mad at you right?"

He nods slightly and I can see in his eyes he is not convinced. I walk over to him take his arms and place them around my waist and I rest my hand on his upper arms. Christian just looks down at me. Our eyes lock.

"Christian, I believe everything you told me downstairs, except the part about her trying to be nice. I don't like the fact that she continues to come after you even after you ended thing with her, she obviously has not gotten the hint. I really don't like the fact that she tries to make you doubt who you are. She does not know you anymore. I do. I know you. I know who you are." I can see a flicker of my lost boy staring at me. "Christian Grey, you are the most thoughtful amazing husband a girl could want. You are the kindest, most caring father that our son could have. Teddy knows that he will always be safe with you as his father. Today you are surrounded by people who love you and whom you love. It makes me really angry that that woman tries to make you think otherwise, I meant what I said; I have every right to protect and defend you like you do for me. I will take her down if she ever hurts you again. She wants you. She wants what's mine. I will protect what's mine." I'm grinning as I repeat these words Christian has said to me time and time again. A smirk creeps across his lips, and I can see that my fifty is back and there is amusement in his eyes.

"Well Mrs. Grey, I have to say you coming to my rescue, being all tough and feisty….I like it."

"Good Mr. Grey, I intend to do it more often." I lean up and kiss Christian on the lips. The kiss turns possessive and demanding. When he breaks away we are both gasping for air. "Perhaps we should return to our family. If we stay here I may be tempted to break doctor's orders and that won't be a good thing for you."

I smile wickedly as my hand slides down and caresses him, he gasps and groans "Your right my love, we should go back down perhaps later I will show you just how much you are mine." I kiss him again and move to the door. Christian takes a deep steading breath and wraps his arm around my waist as we walk back downstairs and rejoin our family to eat.


	5. Creative options

**A/N: Sorry this chapter took so long to update. I struggled a little with it. Also this is my first attempt at writing the sex scenes so please let me know what you think and if I should keep writing them or just stick with the lovey dovey stuff.**

I am finally getting my picnic down by the water with Christian and Teddy. Christian is holding Ted and walking down by the water. I am taking a few moments to enjoy the quiet and my mind begins to drift.

It's been a week since the bitch troll sent Christian her in-appropriate gift. It's also been a week since we have spoken about it. The basket and the card were removed from my house immediately at my request and I explained to Taylor and the rest of the security team to check all packages coming in first, to make sure no more of her "gifts" made their way into my house.

Grace and I had a talk last Saturday after I calmed and Christian and I rejoined our family.

"_Ana, darling, are you ok?"_

"_Yes Grace I am fine."_

"_Christian told me what happened and I want you to know that I approve of the way you handled yourself with the staff and Christian. You are right you have every right to be upset and to defend him. Christian just isn't use to people fighting for him that's all. I support you 100% and thank you for defending my son."_

"_Thank you Grace, I know you and I feel the same way about her, I want you to know I will NOT allow her to get to him again. It's not going to happen!"_

"_I know Ana dear; If you need anything just let me know.'_

"_I will thank you Grace."_

And those were the last words spoken about it. To my knowledge Mrs. Robinson has not tried to contact Christian again, not that he would tell me if she did. I did have a chat with Taylor, telling him I want to be informed if she makes any attempts to see Christian or tries to contact him at work. I don't know if Taylor will tell me but I made myself clear to everyone that I am not afraid of her. I will protect my family.

As I sit back and watch my husband and son, I remember that it has also been a week since I made my promise to my husband about showing him just how much he is _mine._ The thought brings a smile to my face. It has been two weeks since Teddy's birth, we still have four to go before we can actually have full blown sex again, but I am getting restless we have _never _ gone this long before and well I don't like it. I am aching for his touch and not the gentle touch of our cuddling but the touch that sets my body on fire and which only he can cool. Christian has been amazing, very gentle when we sleep and has not complained about the no sex bit, but I know he is restless to that's why he has been having extra sessions with Claude, help relieve some of his tension. We just need to touch each other again. My Inner Goddess and I start to form a plan.

"What's on your mind Mommy?" Christian asks bringing me out of my naughty thoughts.

"Oh nothing" I grin. "How was your walk by the water?"

Christian knows I am not telling the truth but he lets it slide.

"Our walk was fine. I can't wait for our first sailing adventure. I know Ted will still be too young and have no recollection of it but I can't wait to take our little family out on _The Grace."_

I smile at the thought of our growing up learning how to sail like his Daddy. "I am looking forward to that too Daddy and I know Teddy will have a great time."

"Chrisitan what would you think about going out for a couple days over the 4th of July? Teddy will be 6 weeks old by then and it would be safe we could go just the 3 of us and then we could watch the Fireworks over the water. We could invite your family if you wish."

"Hmm I think we could make that happen. That sounds like a very pleasant time Ana."

I grin widely at him. Ted is sleeping in Christians arms, I have one arm hooked trough my husband's leaning on his shoulder he wraps one arm around me and I wrap my arm around his front to cradle Ted. We sit like this, peacefully, enjoying each other, watching the water for hours it seems.

We have just finished a late dinner, and I have excused myself to go and feed Teddy and get him ready for bed. Chrisitan has a few phone calls to make.

I have changed Teddy into his Pajamas and have settled in to the rocking chair nursing Ted. I love this time with my son. As Teddy finishes eating, I reassemble myself and just sit cuddling, my son. I wake with a gasp. "What is going on?" I say slightly panicked. Chrisitan is leaning over me attempting to take Teddy from my arms.

"Relax baby, it's just me you have been sleeping for about an hour, I was just going to put Teddy in his cradle."

"Oh, wow I did not realize I fell asleep, I just felt you start to take him and it panicked me awake. I say slowing my breathing.

Chrisitan just grins, "I Love how protective you are baby."

"In all things Chrisitan, I will protect what is mine as well baby." I grin, using Christian's words back at him.

"Let me put our son to bed and then we can go to bed as well you are obviously tired love."

I lean down and kiss Ted on the cheek "Good night baby boy, mommy loves you."

Chrisitan Takes Teddy from my arms and kisses him on the head and whispers something all I can hear is "I love you my son" and he places Teddy in his cradle and covers him gently with a blanket. I can't help but smile. Christian walks towards me, I rise and we make our way back down the hall to our bedroom.

I am lying in bed waiting for Christian, He comes out of the bathroom in his pajama bottoms and I just watch. He smirks at me as he moved towards the bed. "Enjoying the view?" "Always Mr. Grey, I could watch you all day." He just shakes his head and climbs into bed. I snuggle against his side and lay my head on his chest, he wraps an arm around my shoulder.

"I am sorry for startling your earlier."

"Its ok baby, it was just weird I only remember feeling that way a few times, like right after Charlie Tango and the fire, when I knew someone was after you, I would wake panicked, like somebody was taking you from me."

"Baby I'm not going anywhere please, I don't want you to worry."

"I know Christian, I just can't Imagine my life with you and I don't want anything or anyone to get in the way of what we have."

"Same here baby."

"It seems Mr. Grey I made a promise last week which I intend to fulfill." I kiss his cheek, his necks, press kisses to his chest as I slide my hand slowly down his stomach and begin to caress him through his pajamas, his breath hitches and he grabs my hand.

"No" he growls grabbing my hand and stopping my movements.

I freeze instantly, he's telling me no? I don't think that has never happened before, ever. Tears spring to my eyes as my mind begins to go wild, he doesn't want me, and he doesn't find me attractive anymore, he doesn't love me. He releases my hand and turns towards me, I immediately turn away and get out of bed. I don't think I can handle this and my emotions are all over the place. "Ana!" he calls as I walk toward the bathroom I can't look at him right now. I'm trying to control my sobs, I close the door but don't lock it, what's the point he has a key, I fall to my knees on the floor and just sob I know it's the hormones making me this way I mean after the beautiful day we had I know he loves me. But it the feeling of rejection I am dealing with at the moment. The door opens.

"Jesus Ana!" Christian is on the floor in seconds, he pulls me into his lap, I bury my head in his neck and just sob, and he just rocks me.

"Hush baby, its ok"

"you….don't….want… me" Is all I can manage to say between sobs

"Oh Ana, I am so sorry if that's how I just made you feel. Baby you should never ever fell like that." He adjusts and pulls my chin tipping my face up, he locks eyes with mine. "Ana you are my world, I love you and I can never have enough of you. You are it for me baby, everything about you amazes me, your mind, your smart mouth, your attitude, your wonderful personality, and most of all your beautiful heart and soul. Baby, you know how just looking at you makes me want you, I said no because I want you so bad its killing me Ana, I want to touch worship you and bury myself inside you but we are under doctors' orders. We just can't, I don't want to hurt you."

I have stopped sobbing but the tears just stream down my face as I continue to stare at my husband.

"I love you too, so much, when you said no, all my insecurities came rushing back reminding me that I can't possibly be enough and I know you love me it's just the hormones, the emotions they are making me crazy, and I'm sorry I just can control my emotions right now, I don't know how you put up with me."

He chuckles a bit, "baby,you are more than enough, you should know that by now, please don't worry about it. It's all OK, I am sorry I did not mean to hurt you. Let's go back to bed."

He stands, while still holding me and carries me back to our bed. He gently lays me down and slides in next to me he pulls me close and wraps his arms around me. Soon we are both asleep.

I wake and reach for Christian and he is not there I look at the clock and its just after midnight. Teddy has not woken yet, I hear the Piano…..He has not done this for a while; I grab my robe and the portable baby monitor and make my way down stairs. I stop and watch him, he goes to a whole other place when he plays its mesmerizing to watch, I finally get my feet to move and I go sit next to him, I rest my head on his shoulder and he finishes his song. He sighs and I look up at him, he turns and looks down.

"Christian I am sorry for earlier, I didn't mean to make you feel bad."

"Ana it's not that, it's just...well…"

"What is it Christian?"

"Ana, I don't ever want to cause you pain, I know I have in the past and it kills me every time I see you upset. I vowed to protect you and keep you safe. Tonight when I saw you so upset, I could not bear it. My heart breaks when you cry, and knowing that I made you cry makes it worse."

"Christian I love you more than I can say, please do not let tonight upset you. It's me, all the emotions I just can't control the, hopefully soon I will be back to normal and not break down into hysterics at the drop of a hat. I never feel more loved and safe then when I am in your arms, I never feel more cherished then when I look into your eyes." I lean in and Kiss him gently on the lips "As long as we always talk through our issues we will be ok." I kiss him again and wrap my arms around his neck as he encircles my waist.

Our kiss is interrupted by our son crying. "That would be the young master" Christian smirks.

"Yes I must attend to the young sir" I say with a giggle.

"Still one of the best sounds in the world" he stand and clasps my hand in his we make our way up to Teddy's room, I pick him up and settle down in the chair, Christian comes back over with a new book "Goodnight Moon" and reads to his son while he eats.

We are back in bed and I once again have my head on Christian's chest as he rubs my back.

"Christian.." I being

"Yeah baby?"

"Don't get upset, but well we have rules with our kinkiness correct?'

"Yes" replying cautiously

"Well I was thinking…Dr. Green just gave us rules 'no penetration' but she never said no pleasure or orgasms at all so…." I cautiously run my hand across his chest placing kisses following my hand and I slowly slide my hand down and begin to caress him again he moans. I slide my hand under his waistband and grab him gently but firmly. "Ana" he gasps as his breathing increases.

"Hush baby, let me keep my promise from last week, let me love you."

I trail kisses across his chest and down his stomach as I stroke him feeling him grow bigger, harder in my hand. I place a gentle kiss on his tip and he groans. I softly lick his tip then lick all the way down to his base and back up again slowly softly. Christian begins to writhe I look up and see Christian eyes burning with passion, need, love. I sheathe my teeth and gently pull him into my mouth, taking him all the way in swirling my tongue as I go. I hear a sexy strangled cry from my husband that lets me know he approves. Just as slowly I slide up swirl my tongue around his tip again and leave it so the tip of my tongue is barley touching him, in fact that is the only part of me touching him, he arches his back and thrusts his hips up searching for my mouth. "Ana..Ana..Please" he begs panting. I smile, and take him again into my mouth I sheathe my teeth behind my lips and suck…hard. Up and down, at my pace, I place one hand across his lower stomach and the other playing with his balls. I increase my pace and suck harder. I am rewarded with moans of pleasure from my husband as he thrust deeper into my mouth, I can feel his muscles tensing, his breathing is rapid and shallow and I know he is close. I love what I can do to him. Knowing I can give him this pleasure it's enough for me.

"Ana…Oh God...baby…I am close…Ana…Ana…" groaning and as I bring him all the way into my mouth, bare my teeth, and ever so gently I scrape my teeth all the way up slowly and squeeze his balls.

"OH FUCK ANA!" he cries out as he tenses and comes gloriously in my mouth. I take him again and suck softly until I have received his entire orgasm.

I am quite pleased with myself as I curl next to my husband as his breathing slows and returns to normal.

"Well my love, how was that?" I ask with a huge grin on my face and happiness in my voice.

"Baby that was….wow…you never cease to amaze me."

I can't help but giggle. "See I told you. Mine."

"Yes Mrs. Grey, yours, and I do believe you have earned yourself an orgasm as well." I can hear the promise in his voice and all my muscles clench in response. He shits so that I am now on my back and he is lying on his side.

He kisses my nose, my cheek, behind my ear. I groan. Trailing kisses down my neck his hand slips under my satin nightgown and begins to gently caress my breast. "ooohh"

"baby you have to promise me you will tell me to stop if anything hurts"

"mmmm" is the only response I can manage.

"baby you have to promise"

"yes I promise" I groan as he gently rolls my nipple between his thumb and finger. He's slid my nightgown off both my shoulder to reveal my breasts and its now pooled on my stomach. He takes my other breast into his mouth worshiping gently the pleasure shoots throughout my body as I bow off the bed. He switches sides… "Christian.." I gasp "I know baby" he slides his hand down under my panties and find my clitoris he begin to massage gently and I think I might actually explode. God I've missed this. He releases my breast and kisses his way down my body while slipping my panties down. His mouth is hovering at the apex of my thighs and I'm panting rapidly. I feel his hand grasp my hips and his tongue is on me. Circling me licking me, "Oh Christian" I moan slowly gently then fast and hard and back again its torture. The sensation feels more intense and I don't know how much longer I can hold on. I feel the familiar quiver beginning in my belly, "Oh baby…please…please…oohhh…" his thumb replaces his tongue. " I know baby, just hold it for a little longer control it Ana" His mouth is back on me his lips encircle my clitoris and he sucks flicking his tongue. "Oh god….Chrisitian…don't stop…don't stop..please don't stop...please…oohh…please…ohhh…oohhhhh….ooohhhh….CHRISTIAN!" I scream his name as my body shatters and bows off the bed.

As I come down from my orgasm, I am aware that Christian has replaced my panties and my nightgown and has pulled me into his arms. He kisses me passionately. "We Mrs. Grey satisfied?"

"mmmm" is all I can say

He chuckles. "I will take that as a yes."

"Are you?" I ask

"Yes baby I am Thank you for suggesting the 'creative' option."

"We aim to Please Mr. Grey."

He kisses me again on the forehead. "Good Night baby. I love you."

"Good night Christian I love you too."


	6. Being Safe

**A/N: sorry it took so long to update here is chapter 6. chapter 7 will be out soon. **

"Bye Teddy." Christian leans down to kiss his son.

"I will be home by 6 tonight. I really don't want to leave you two." Christians frowns.

"I don't want you to leave either, I have been spoiled having you home for the last two weeks, but you do have to go back to work Mr. Grey the world of mergers and acquisitions needs you." I say with a smirk.

"Unfortunately you make a fair point Mrs. Grey. Just know my thoughts will be with you and our son today and not in the world of mergers."

"As it should be Christian." I lean up and kiss him.

"Now go to work so you can come home to us."

"Sounds like a plan love. See you both this evening. I love you both." He leans down to give me a kiss.

"We Love you too Christian." I say as he breaks away and walks out the door.

"Well Teddy Bear it's just you and me today, what shall we do?"

Ted and I head upstairs so we can get dressed. I put Teddy in his 'my mommy loves me' onesie and his cute little jeans. I place him in his bouncy seat while I Jump in the shower and get dressed. I have gotten good at this if I must say I am showered, dressed and ready for my day in 15 min. I pick up Teddy and grab my phone and walk back down stairs.

Walking into the living room my blackberry pings checking my phone it tells me I have and appointment with Caroline Acton today in about an hour. SHIT! I completely forgot.

"Sawyer!" I call out.

"Mrs. Grey." Sawyer replies

"Sawyer I need you to get the car. I forgot that I have and Appointment with Caroline Acton today and it's in an hour."

"Um, does Mr. Grey know you and Theodore will be leaving ma'am?"

"No I will inform him once we are on our way." I say looking at Sawyer.

It really bugs me that everything has to be cleared by Chrisitan. I mean I am Mrs. Grey I should be able to make my own decisions and if I want to leave I should be able to.

"Ma'am I really don't think…"

"Sawyer either you can pull the car around and escort me to my appointment or I will go by myself."

"I'll bring the car around, ma'am."

"Thank you sawyer I'll be ready in 5 min."

I run upstairs with Teddy, I place him in his cradle while I gather extra diapers, clothes, burp cloths, a blanket, and pack it all into his diaper bag.

Back down stairs I place Teddy in his car seat and strap him in. Sawyer comes in to let me know the car is ready.

"Sawyer, can you grab the stroller that goes with this car seat please?"

I grab the Diaper bag and the car seat. "Gail." I call "Yes Ana?" Gail I am going out this afternoon, I have an appointment I forgot about I won't be back until after lunch."

"Ok Ana, Enjoy yourself." She replies with a smile.

"Thanks Gail." I say as I grab the Diaper bag and the car seat and head out the door. Sawyer takes the car seat from me and secures Teddy in the car. I place the bag in the back and climb in next to my son who is watching with a look of confusion I am sure he is asking 'mommy where are we going'. I can't help a small giggle as I look at him he is just too sweet. "You look just like your daddy Teddy." Oh crap I still need to inform Christian of our plans. I pull out my phone and send Christian a quick e-mail,

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **New Dress

**Date:** June 1st 2012 11:31

**To:** Christian Grey

To my Love and the father of my baby, I just wanted to inform you that Teddy and I are going into town, I have an appointment with Caroline Acton in less than an hour, to get a new dress for the party next week and some clothes I can wear until I get my body back to 'pre-Teddy.' Please don't worry Sawyer is with us. Miss you and Love you see you tonight

Love always,

Your Ana (and Teddy) xxx

I put my phone away, I know Chrisitan is going to be mad that I did not tell him but hopefully he won't be too upset. _Yeah right, you know this will be a fight, but maybe I can fix this before he has all day to get himself worked up. _

"Sawyer, I think after my appointment with Caroline, I would like to surprise my husband for lunch. While I am at the store would find out from Taylor if Chrisitan has any meetings this afternoon?"

"Certainly Mrs. Grey."

My black berry buzzes and I brace myself.

From: Chrisitan Grey

Subject: #%^$#%#

Date: June 1st 2012 11:35

To: Anastasia Grey

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS? I DID NOT MAKE PROPER ARRANGEMENTS I AM TELLING SAWYER TO TAKE YOU HOME AND YOU CAN RESCHEDULE THE APPOINTMENT

Christian Grey,

FUCKING LIVID CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

I read his email and hear Sawyer answer his phone. I hit reply

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **SHOUTY CAPITALS

**Date:** June 1st 2012 11:40

**To:** Christian Grey

I DON'T NEED SHOUTY CAPITALS! I am sorry I did not mention it. I completely forgot until the reminder on my Blackberry THIS MORNING after you left. Exactly what are the "PROPER ARRANGEMENTS" you need to make? I am going to a store I have been to a dozen times before. I have Sawyer with me. I am not a CHILD and CAN MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS. I would appreciate a little trust. I am more than capable of taking care of myself and our son. Oh and I AM NOT GOING HOME or RESCHEDULING MY APPOINTMENT! IF Sawyer takes me home be aware I WILL DRIVE MYSELF to the appointment ALONE!

Anastasia

Now Livid WIFE & mother

"Mrs. Grey…I Have instructions to…"

"Yes Sawyer I am aware of what your instructions are and I am giving you my own. If you take me home I WILL Drive myself to the appointment so you make the choice." I snap.

"Yes Ma'am, we will continue as planned." He states with a nod.

I nod in return.

I feel bad for snapping at Sawyer he will be in trouble from Taylor and Christian, but he is _my_ security so he should be answering to me. Grrr why does my husband have to make things so difficult. My phone buzzes again

From: Chrisitan Grey

Subject: THIS IS NOT OVER

Date: June 1st 2012 11:45

To: Anastasia Grey

I am sending Taylor to meet you as well. You are to go straight home when you are finished with Caroline. We WILL discuss this when I get home.

Still fucking PISSED CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc.

I am glaring at my phone. I am trying to calm down. I take a deep breath.

"I assume you have been updated as to _our orders_?" I say to Sawyer with venom in my voice, not aimed at him I hope he knows.

"Yes Ma'am Taylor will meet us at the Ms. Actons and then I am to take you home once you have completed your shopping."

I nod but don't speak to Sawyer.

I am still trying to calm myself down and I glance at Teddy and my heart melts.

"Well Teddy so much for surprising Daddy with lunch." I say with a sad voice lean over to kiss him.

I am finished with Caroline Acton in about an hour she knows I hate trying on clothes so she has a selection of tops, and shorts, capris, skirts, and a pair of jeans, all ready for me I approve all her choices, we toss in a few sun dresses and a new pair of sandals. Caroline has already pulled 3 dresses out for me.

I decide to go with a single shoulder strapped sky blue floor length satin and silk gown, it has a half sweetheart neckline with the strap going over my left shoulder turning into a jewel studded strap that goes across my back and attaches to my dress at my right hip, it has a slit on the right side that stops at mid thigh. It fits nicely and shows my curves but hides my stomach, the material flows so it will allow for easy movement and I am quite comfortable in it. Caroline raved and said it makes my eyes stand out. Chrisitan will like it. I hope. I also pick out a pair of silver Louboutin shoes. Caroline is going to have the dress altered to accommodate my expanding chest during the evening and have a built in bra sewn in with the nursing pads.

We are back in the car and on our way home, Taylor is on his way back to Grey House. I apologized to Taylor as I am sure he got and ear full from my husband and to Sawyer for the scolding he will undoubtedly get from my husband. The two of them just have to take it. I at least get to yell back.

We arrive back at the house and Sawyer unloads my packages and the stroller. I take Teddy out of his car seat and carry him inside where Gail greets us.

"Hello Ana, how was your day?"

"ugg, it could have been better."

"Oh?" She asks

"Christian is mad that I did not tell him about the appointment. He expected me to reschedule because he was not informed and could not make proper arrangements. I mean what does he think I am going to stay locked here at home unless he approves of my plans?"

"I don't know." Gail stated cautiously.

"I am sorry Gail I didn't mean to unleash all of that on you it's just been a day and I still have to deal with Christian when he gets home."

"Ana, if I may, I know that Mr. Grey can get upset easily, but you know that he is protective of you and Teddy of course, He just wants you safe that's all. I think he was just caught by surprise today. I know he loves you both so much I can't imagine him if something happened to either one of you. Just keep in mind his anger comes from a good place, it comes from his heart, comes from love."

I gaze at Gail. I know what she says is true that Christian reacts out of fear of harm coming to me and now Teddy and that it's the lack of control and it ultimately comes down to love. However we have to have some kind of understanding about this kind of thing. He can't over react every time something does not go his way and he can't treat me like a child demanding I go home. That's not the way this marriage is going to work.

"I know Gail, I know why Christian acts the way he does but it still does not make it ok. I know it all stems from love and fear but he just goes about handling it in a bad way."

Gail just smiles.

"I know it will be fine Gail we just need to talk it through that's all." I say to Gail, and try to re-assure myself, I know that it will be more like arguing then talking.

"I am going to go feed Teddy and put him down for his nap." I state and take Teddy upstairs.

I have settled in to the rocking chair, Teddy is cuddled against me, nursing and beginning to fall asleep.

I allow myself to relax as Teddy nurses. He has fallen asleep and I have re-assembled myself. I don't put Teddy in his Cradle right away I need this peace right now.

I have received an e-mail from Christian informing me he will not be home for dinner he had a meeting that came up suddenly and can't be missed and is expected to run late. I respond simply telling him 'I will see him when he gets home' and that's all.

I have eaten dinner, and put Teddy to bed before Christian gets home. I am curled up in the library reading when I hear my husband come home. I wait and try to keep reading but really I am trying to prepare myself for the fall out. The door opens and there stands Christian. I can see the anger and feel the tension.

"Hi" I say quietly but firm

He just stares at me.

"Did you find a dress?" he asks

"Yes I did and picked up a few other things." I state

He nods and turns to leave. _ What the hell was that?_

I get up and walk out to find my husband. I don't see him.

"Gail, where did Christian go?"

"Mr. Grey went upstairs Ana."

I walk upstairs and find Christian in Teddy's room. I watch as he strokes his sons head leans down and gives him a kiss. "Good night Ted. I love you." Christian says softly.

Christian turns to see me we make eye contact and we just stare at each other. I make the first move and turn toward our bedroom.

I am sitting on the bed when Chrisitan comes in. He says nothing and goes into the closet to change and comes out wear just his pajama bottoms that hang in that way… I do the same walk to my closet and change. We both just stare at each other.

"Christian.."

"Don't Ana. I am still fucking pissed at you."

"ME?" I snap angrily. "I am pissed at you for treating me like a child."

"You defied me Ana! You never listen!" he yells

"How did I defy you? What Imaginary line did I cross now?" I shout back

"You left the house without telling me. You did not have the proper security with you. You put you and or son at risk!" he snaps

"Christian, you're crazy! I should not have to ask your permission every time I want to leave OUR home."

"Ana I NEED you and Teddy to be safe and you don't listen, I told you to go home but you are so damn stubborn!"

"I am your WIFE not your submissive I don't need your approval for every action I take. We had Sawyer with us we were fine. And we have NEVER discussed different security options I have no Idea what you are talking about 'proper security'!" My voice is rising with my cause. _What the fuck? Does he think I am just going to stay locked in the house all day long?_

"I know you're not my fucking submissive Anastasia." He growls

We both just glare at each other. I take a deep breath. Let's try this again.

"Christian," I begin in a more calm voice. "I understand that you need us to be safe. That's why Sawyer was with us. Why do you think we were not safe?"

Christian closes his eyes, and runs both hands through his hair, takes a deep breath and releases it. I see him relax ever so slightly. His eyes open and I can see the fear, love and frustration burn in his beautiful grey eyes.

"Ana, if something were to happen, if someone was to assault you or try to kidnap Teddy, Sawyer would have to choose whether to stay with you or go after our son."

"There would be no choice he goes after Teddy!" I state firmly

"Ana, I don't want that to ever come up or be an option. Sawyer is to protect you. Teddy needs his own security person. I want Ryan to take that Job, Taylor is hiring more staff as well to cover the vacant positions. I also think we should have a woman on staff so that she can accompany you while you're out and about but need to nurse Teddy. I don't want Sawyer or Ryan to be uncomfortable."

I just stare at him.

"You have really thought this through." I state quietly

He nods

"Christian do you really think someone might try to take Teddy?" I ask fearfully

"Ana we are both very public figures and worth a lot of money. You never know how many crazy people out there might try to use our son to get revenge or money or worse." He states quietly.

"They could have it all!" I almost shout.

"Ana, of course they could have whatever they wanted as long as Teddy is brought back safely but I don't ever want to have to go through that or put you through it. This is why we need to have the extra security. This is why I was so angry this morning. Who knows what could have happened."

Tears have filled my eyes, I am not as angry with my husband, I get where he is coming from now and the thought of harm coming to my husband or son makes me want to cry.

"Baby," I say my voice is still strong. "Why didn't you bring this up to me? We could have discussed this last week."

"Because Ana, we were happy and enjoying our son, getting into a routine, and I did not want to argue like we are now."

It hits me.

"Chrisitan do you know why we are arguing?"

He looks at me confused, I was right he does not really understand all he sees is me disagreeing with him.

I sigh and shake my head. "Christian, we are arguing because you treated me like a child today ordering me to return home."

"Ana…" I put my hand up to stop him.

"Listen, if you had discussed and explained your reasoning to me about wanting extra security I would have listened. After hearing your explanation tonight, I agree we should have a security person for Teddy. What I disagree with is you keeping things from me and ordering me around. I will not be kept prisoner in my own home. I will still go out for lunch with Kate, over to see your parents and out shopping. You can't stop that."

His face is showing the signs of a small smile.

"However, I am sorry about this morning as well, I really did forget about the appointment until the reminder on my phone; I would have told you otherwise. You are going to have to talk to me about what you are thinking. We are a team Chrisitan, husband and wife. We have to make these decisions TOGETHER, that's the way this marriage is going to work."

His face has relaxed now and is calm.

"I am sorry too, I should have discussed all this with you and I am sorry for ordering you to return home. I was just scared. I don't know what I would do if anything happened to either you or Teddy." He states softly.

He steps towards me and wraps me in his arms. I wrap my arms around his waist and nuzzle his chest.

"Christian."

"Hmmm"

"Can we go to bed now? I am exhausted."

With that he reaches down, scoops me up and carries me to the bed.

"Sounds like a great plane baby."

He lays me down and climbs in next to me pull me to his chest with his arms wrapped around me.

"I Love you Ana."

"I love you too Chrisitan."

I shoot straight up panicked. I hear Chrisitan screaming next to me. SHIT a nightmare he hasn't had one of theses in a long time.

"Chrisitan Baby, its ok….wake up baby…come back to me Christian" I call out shaking his shoulders.

His eyes fly open as he looks around the room and his eyes fall upon mine.

"Hush, baby you're ok you are safe. Its ok you are home"

"Ana" He breathes then his eyes widen further he jumps out of bed grabs a shirt and races from the room. What the hell? Where is he going? He never leaves after a nightmare. I climb out of bed and grab my robe to follow him.


	7. Nightmares

**A/N: I am giving fair warning. You may need tissues while reading this chapter. I needed them while writing it. This chapter is emotional and a little intense. I hope you enjoy.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews! I love them. I get really excited when they come across. I do try to respond to each of you by PM if not please don't feel bad I love you it's just hard to keep track of them sometimes. **

**I have one or 2 more ideas….if you have any ideas as to what you would like to see happen please let me know. We aim to please :)**

I walk out of our bedroom and listen to for the piano or any kind of noise that will tell me where Christian went. I see the small light on in Teddy's room. When I walk in Christian is standing by the crib with his hand stroking his son's cheek. Then he reaches down and lifts him up gently and cradles Teddy protectively in his arms. He starts to walk around the room swaying back and forth as he does.

"I Love you so much Teddy." And I can tell Chrisitan is crying.

With tears running down my face I walk quietly over to Christian, wrap my arms around his waist and rest my head on his back. We stand like this for several minutes.

"Christian, was you nightmare about Teddy?" I ask softly

I feel him tense a little. He lets out a heavy sigh.

"Yes." He says almost inaudibly

I squeeze him tighter.

He moves to turn around to face me. I release my hold on him enough to allow him to turn. When I look into his eyes I see fear and anguish. It brings fresh tears to my eyes. _Oh my sweet Fifty, so tormented by a dream._

I pull Christian over to the rocking chairs. He sits in one and I move so I am kneeling in front of him in between his legs and I am eye level with him. Christian rocks back and forth staring at Ted.

"Christian what was your nightmare about? What happened?" I ask quietly while I place my hands on my husband's thighs

Christian closes his eyes tightly and scrunches his face, I know he is feeling pain and fear at the nightmare but we need to talk about it.

He lets out a long shuttering sigh and I can tell he is trying to control his sobs.

"Ana…"he sobs

"Baby its ok you can tell me." He is still looking at Teddy

"Ana I…I dreamt that…I dreamt that…" he sobs again

"Christian look at me." I command softly

He brings his eyes up to mine.

"Take a deep breath baby, its ok"

Chrisitan does and he calms slightly.

"Now baby tell me what the dream was about."

He takes another deep breath.

"I dreamt that you and Teddy were walking around the park. When all of a sudden you get hit on the head and are knocked out. I am standing off to the side of you both just watching. I can't get to you I can't move something was holding me and would not let me move, I can do nothing but scream and try to move. I was helpless. I can do nothing but watch as the person who knocked you out takes Ted and runs away with him. I have no control. My heart breaks, I can't breathe. I can't get to you. I can't get to Teddy and then he is just gone…."

He stops and takes another deep breath to control his tears again. I sit silently and continue to rub his legs trying to offer him some comfort.

"Then all of a sudden I am back there…" he sobs

"Back where baby?"

He brings his eyes to his son who is sleeping peacefully in his Daddy's arms, he stares at Ted for a moment before locking his eyes with mine again.

"Ana, I was back at the crack house…..I am there and so is Teddy and…and…and so are you." He tries to take a deep steading breath.

"Ana you were laying on the floor like her not moving, not breathing, just cold and not moving, and sweet Teddy here is on the floor, he is just a baby and should not be on the floor, he looks cold and scared. He is crying and crying and I can't get to him, I can't comfort him, I can't move. The person who took him, I think it's a man, he kicks Ted and I scream, he hits him, and I can't move. My heart breaks again. Teddy is just crying and screaming, he is hurt, he is scared, he doesn't understand, I can't move, I can't breathe. I have no control I can only scream but it doesn't matter. I can only watch as this person hits Teddy and then burns him…."

He breaks down again and I too am sobbing.

"I am sorry….I can't stop them… I can't protect you and Ted….I have no control… I am sorry….I am so sorry…I love you…I love Ted… and I can't stop him…." He cries and drops his head holds Teddy possessively and kisses him, repeating "I'm Sorry."

"Christian, baby, look at me." I say controlling my tears.

He refused to look at me.

"Christian look at me." I command softly. He slowly brings his eyes to mine again.

"Christian, listen to me. It was just a dream. You let your fear from today the feeling of not being in control take you back to a time when you weren't in control of anything. You are an amazing father. You have done everything in your power to protect Teddy." His eyes are locked to mine but I still see the fear and anguish and uncertainty lingering there.

"Do you remember in the hospital? Right after Teddy was born?" I ask

He nods slightly.

"Remember how Dr. Greene wanted to take Teddy to the nursery?" He nods again.

"You would not let her take him, Even though he was perfectly safe with the hospital staff. You were amazing when you told her that he would remain with us. You have been keeping Teddy and me safe from the very beginning. I know that you will never let anything happen to us."

I have to take a deep breath to control my emotions.

"Baby, I never have to worry about being protected. The things that happened before, they were bad and scary but I knew that everything would be fine. I knew you would always find me. Christian I never feel more protected and safe then when I am with you. When I am wrapped in your arms I know that no harm will ever come to me."

He nods slightly and I can see him slowly coming back to me.

"Christian, look down at your son."

He does and I can still see the tears in his eyes.

"He is sleeping soundly. He is in your arms and he feels perfectly safe with you. He knows that you are his daddy, that you love him more than life itself and that you will do everything in your power to keep him safe."

"Baby your nightmare was when you were a child. When you could not help anyone, it was when you needed it. You got help. Grace, your mom saved you. You told me once, when you went home with Grace & Carrick you felt safe."

He nods again returning his eyes to me.

"Christian, do you know why you felt safe?"

He just stares at me not saying a word.

"You felt safe because you were loved. I know you have a hard time accepting that, concept in your mind. However you know in your heart that Grace, Carrick & Elliot, loved you and then when Mia joined your family you knew she loved you and you loved her. You still love them and they still love you so much. You knew with them you did not have to worry about being left alone or going hungry. You were protected because they loved you and still do. I mean Grace still protects you. Remember your birthday?"

He smiles softly.

"Yes I do. Even though she was really mad at me she still came to my rescue and protected me."

"She always will baby. She is your mother and she will never let any harm to come to you if she can help it."

He smiles and nods again.

"That is how you are with Teddy. You will never let any harm come to him. He knows this. I know this. Deep down you know this too."

"Ana, Thank you. You have so much faith in me."

"I always will baby."

"I will protect Teddy and you with everything that I have."

"I know Baby. I am sorry for making you worry today. You just have to remember to discuss things with me. We can avoid so much pain, frustration and arguing if we just talk to each other."

"Fair point, well made Mrs. Grey" he grins

He is back! My Fifty is back. Thank God!

Teddy begins to wake up its time for him to nurse. I stand up and sit in the other rocking chair. Christian rises and hands Teddy to me. He moves the other rocker so it's across from me. As I nurse Christian just watches and another thought occurs to me.

"Christian, don't get upset but I have noticed that when you hold Teddy, or I ask you to hold him you seem to go out of your way to put on a T-shirt. Are you afraid to allow Teddy to touch you?"

He takes a sharp breath and freezes, but doesn't answer.

"Christian he is your son he is not going to hurt you."

He stares at me,

"Ana" he breaths "I just don't know. Only three people have ever touched me like that. Two of them… the touch was harsh, painful."

He pauses, closes his eyes and looks as if he is suppressing a painful memory. I wait quietly watching him.

"Ana you are the only one….when you touch me….Ana I am not afraid of you or your touch it's sweet, gentle, loving and I know you won't hurt me physically. I am just nervous, I don't know what to expect. I am not sure I can handle it."

I am crying again.

"Please baby don't cry I didn't mean to upset you hush baby."

"Christian don't you understand. Teddy will not hurt you. He is your son. Your blood. He loves you so much. You need this!"

"Ana…I just can't."

"Christian yes you can." I say forcefully but not in anger.

Christian just stares and I can see the fear has returned to his eyes.

"Christian take your shirt off now."

"Ana…"

"Just do it Christian." I command softly

He is frozen.

"Christian, baby its ok I promise you will be ok. Trust me."

He nods slightly and removes his shirt. I stand up and lay Ted on the chair so I can remove his pajamas, he is now only in his diaper.

"Hi my sweet boy."

He is awake for the time being. I pick him up and turn to Christian.

Christian's eyes lock with mine and his breathing accelerates.

"Baby if this gets too much, you tell me and I will pick Teddy up."

He nods again.

"Lay back." I tell him. He does.

With that I place Teddy directly on Christian's chest. He inhales sharply and squeezes his eyes close tightly and his jaw clenches. I take one of his hands and place it so his arm is under Teddy's bottom. I take his other hand and place it directly on Teddy's back. Christians breathing is shallow and erratic

"Baby its ok. You are fine. He won't hurt you. Baby just breathe." I say softly as I kneel in front of him and stroke his cheek. I move my other arm so that it is under Christian's arm that is supporting Teddy.

"Christian, open your eyes."

"No" he rasps his face contorting and jaw still clenched. I can see the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Christian, open your eyes."

"No…I can't."

"Baby….take a deep breath and look at me."

I see Christians breathe in and slowly open his eyes. They are filled with nothing but fear. His breathing is still quick and shallow. I stroke his cheek.

"Baby you are doing great. You are ok. Nothing is going to hurt you."

Teddy snuggles against his Daddys Chest and Christian inhales sharply again.

"It's ok love. He is not going to hurt you. He loves you so much."

"Christian I want you to look down at your son."

He continues to stare at me and then slowly moves his gaze down to his son. He inhales quickly again and lets out a slow deep breath.

I can see the tension leave his face and his body relax. His breathing is beginning to slow down.

"Ana….he's….he's looking at me." Christians says in awe.

"I mean he has looked at me before but…"

"I know baby it's amazing isn't it. He feels perfectly safe with you." I say as the tears run down my cheeks.

Christians breathing has returned to normal and his body has relaxed. Tears are still running down his cheeks.

"Thank you baby." Christian states softly.

I lean up and kiss his lips.

"Thank you, Thank you for bringing me to this spot. I can't believe how amazing this feels. I feel so much more connected to him. I love him so much Ana. I will love him and protect him with my life."

"I know baby. I know."

I lean in and kiss him again. I move to sit in the other rocker.

Christian is rubbing Teddy's back. Teddy lets out a yawn snuggles closer. I reach behind me and grab the blanket off the chair and place it over Teddy and Christian. I settle in the opposite rocker and just watch.

"I love you Ana."

"I love you too Christian"

"I love you Teddy" Christian whispers as Teddy closes his eyes, completely safe, completely comfortable in his father's arms.


	8. Lunch Date

_**A/N: Hi all. I am so sorry it took so long to update. I was talking with another author. I have just recently found her blog and borrowed one of her ideas for part of this chapter. I have re-written it for my purposes. If you get a chance check out her blog its (crazie "dot" mazie "dot" blogspot) Thank you all soo much for the reviews. I do enjoy reading them. As I said before I do try to respond to them all personally if I miss you I am sorry. I do love you! There is sex in this chapter let me know what you think also expect some major drama next chapter which will hopefully be up soon but I am in the middle of a road trip so bear with me ;)**_

It's Friday morning and has been 4 days since we had our emotional night with Teddy. Christian is much more relaxed and calm. We have hired two new security guards, at least to my knowledge, could have been more. Logan Cole, who has replaced Ryan, here at the house, and Alexis Sloane, who is the newest member of my security team, she is to accompany me when I am out and about but need to nurse, or have some privacy.

"Baby, what are your plans today?" Christian asks as we finish breakfast.

"Well I have to go into town today to pick up my dress for tomorrow night and I might do some shopping for Teddy. Also someone else I know has a birthday coming up and they tend to be slightly difficult to shop for." I state sweetly with a smile on my face.

Christian smirks and leans over to kiss me.

"Baby you don't have to get me anything for my birthday, you have already given me everything I could every want or need." He says softly and kisses me again.

My husband can be so sweet. "I love you Christian."

"love you too baby. Have fun in town today and spend some money will you?" he smirks

"I will do my best Mr. Grey."

"Good, now I will be home for dinner and remember to keep security with you today. I don't want to worry."

"Relax baby, I will keep them close. We will be fine. Enjoy your day love."

Christian grins and kisses me again, then leans down to kiss Teddy who is in his bouncy seat on the counter between us.

"Bye Teddy, I Love you. Be good for Mommy and I will see you later."

Christian gives me one last kiss and leaves.

"Well Teddy, what do you say we go get ready hmmm?" I ask as I pick him up and we make our way upstairs. I stop on the middle of the stairs. Oh, I forgot to inform Sawyer.

"Sawyer." I call out

"Ma'am." He replies.

"Hi Sawyer, I need to go into town and pick up my Dress for tomorrow night, and I would like to do a little shopping. Would you please make the proper arrangements with Ryan and Sloane and have the car is ready to go in about an hour."

Sawyer smiles, he knows that I know he is in charge. We both have a mutual respect for each other and I feel more relaxed around him. Once I realized he is my "Taylor" I no longer had an issue with having him around all the time.

"Of Course Mrs. Grey. I will load the stroller as well would you like the one that goes with the Car seat?"

"Yes please. I think that will be easiest. Thank you Sawyer." I smile back.

"My pleasure Ma'am."

Teddy and I make our way upstairs. I place him in his bouncy seat that's in our bathroom and hop in the shower.

Twenty minutes later I am dressed and ready. I take Teddy into the nursery and feed him. Once he is finished I gather his things and pack his diaper bag.

I make my way downstairs and Sawyer informs me that we are ready to go. He takes the diaper bag from me and I walk out with Teddy. I secure Teddy in his car seat. Sawyer and Ryan are up front I am in the middle row with Teddy and Sloane is in the back seat.

We make our way into town. A thought occurs to me, I never did get to do this earlier this week.

"Sawyer I want to surprise Christian today with lunch. Don't you dare call Taylor. Do you hear me? Let me call Andrea first understand?"

"Yes Ma'am" I see Sawyer smirk in the rearview mirror.

I pick up my blackberry and call Grey House.

"Hi Andrea its Mrs. Grey"

"_Hello Mrs. Grey how can I help you?"_

"I was wondering does Christian have any meetings scheduled for today?"

"_He has one meeting offsite but should be back by 1p.m. would you like me to have him call you when he returns?"_

"No Andrea actually I am going to surprise him for lunch does he have anything else scheduled?"

_He does have a meeting at 3:30 but I can push it back if you would like"_

"No Andrea that won't be necessary. We won't be staying that long. Remember this is a surprise do not say anything to Christian or the security please. Sawyer will make the arrangements and contact you"

"_Yes Mrs. Grey I Understand we will see you shortly"_

"Thank you Andrea."

We pull up outside Niemen's which is nestled in a high-end strip mall so to speak.

"Sawyer, can you get Taylor on the phone please?"

"Sure thing ma'am"

Sawyer presses the buttons on the in car phone.

"T, Sawyer, I have Mrs. Grey for you. Are you around Mr. Grey?"

"Yes" Taylor's voice fills the car.

"Can you step away?"

It's silent for a moment.

"Ok I am away from Mr. Grey. What's wrong?"

"Hi Taylor."

"Mrs. Grey, is everything ok?"

"Yes Taylor things are fine. I have contacted Andrea and she has informed me that Christian is currently in a meeting but will be back at the office by 1p.m. correct?"

"Yes ma'am that is the plan."

"Perfect. Taylor I am surprising Christian with lunch today once I am done shopping. I will arrive at Grey House around 12:30p. I do not want Christian to know. You and Sawyer can arrange the proper security and find a way to sneak myself and Teddy in without my husband's knowledge. I will throw him off the trail but I am trusting you to keep this secret understand?"

"Yes Mrs. Grey"

I can almost hear his smile

"Thank you Taylor. We will be in touch. Remember not a word. If Christian finds out you both will be in trouble."

"Yes Mrs. Grey No worries. Not a word to Mr. Grey."

"Good Taylor Thanks."

With that he is gone.

I get out of the car and take Teddy and his car seat out. Ryan has set up the stroller and I secure the car seat in it. I make my way into the store with my crew.

I try on my dress just to be re-assured it fits which, of course it does and I must say I look good. Christian is going to love it.

I spend the next few hours going from store to store, shopping. I have picked up some new clothes for Ted. I have made a call to a local deli and place my order for my surprise lunch. I am still at a complete loss as to what to get Christian for his birthday. I guess I will have to continue thinking about it. Ohh we have to get going if we are going to make it to Grey House before Christian.

"Sawyer, we need to stop at the deli to pick up our lunch." I state as he loads our bags and I place Teddy into the car, and climb in.

"Yes ma'am"

"Has everything been arranged with Taylor?"

"Yes ma'am, Mr. Grey is none the wiser."

"Perfect!" I grin widely

We pull up to the Deli and I go to get out, Ryan accompanies me inside. Little do they know I have purchased lunch for them as well as Taylor and the rest of the security team. Ryan and some other employees of the Deli bring the food out to the waiting car and I tip them as they finish loading the food.

"Thank you, gentleman."

We make our way to Grey House and Sawyer calls Taylor. I Type out an email to Christian to throw him off the trail.

**From:** Anastasia Grey

**Subject: **Lower Account Balance

**Date:** June 5th, 2012 12:30

**To:** Christian Grey

Hello my love. Hoping that the world of M&A is treating you well today.

Teddy and I miss you and can't wait for you to come home tonight.

On a good note I picked up my dress today and did some major shopping for our son he is just too spoiled but oh well I don't care. I have found it much easier to spend _our_ money on Teddy then myself. We have picked up lunch and are on our way to eat it. I will see you tonight.

I love you! (So does Teddy)

Ana x

Shopped out wife & mother

"T, ETA is 10 minutes."

"Perfect. Mr. Grey is just now finishing up his meeting we are about 30 minutes out."

"Thank you Taylor" I call out

"My pleasure Mrs. Grey."

Taylor hangs up and my blackberry buzzes. I smile

From: Chrisitan Grey

Subject: It's about time…

Date: June 5th, 2012 12:35

To: Anastasia Grey

….you spent some of _our_ money.

I am glad you have enjoyed your morning. I can't wait to see your dress for tomorrow night I am sure you will look stunning as usual.

The world of M&A is boring as usual. I just got out of a meeting that did not go as planned and I am on my way back to the office. I may schedule a session with Claude so I can relieve some of this frustration. (Just over 2 weeks left)

I am glad you will be eating soon.

I have a meeting at 3p.m. today, which I will be coming home straight after so I will be home earlier then 6p.m. as long as it goes well.

I can't wait to kiss you and Teddy, and have you in my arms to make my day better.

Love you Ana.

Christian x

Christian Grey

Very lucky husband and father & CEO, Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc

We arrive at Grey House. Sawyer escorts us into the building, and up the elevator I am caring Teddy, and the diaper bag, Ryan has the Car seat, Sawyer has instructed other security members to bring lunch up.

"Mrs. Grey!" Andrea states excitedly "Oh and you brought Theodore!"

"Hi Andrea." I smile stopping by her desk as she comes around to see Teddy.

"Sawyer" I turn to him. "That bag there can go in Christian's office. The rest you can take to the Security lounge there is lunch there for You, Taylor, Ryan and Sloane."

"Thank you ma'am" Sawyer replies kindly.

Turning back towards Andrea, "Is there a way you can inform me when Christian arrives?"

"Sure thing Mrs. Grey I can beep the phone in the office when he gets off the elevator."

"Perfect" I say with a smile.

"Mrs. Grey would you like me to watch Teddy while you and Mr. Grey enjoy your lunch?"

"Yes Andrea I think that would be wonderful I will bring him back out once we are ready. Thank you very much."

"Sawyer, Andrea is going to watch Teddy while Christian and I enjoy our lunch I expect Ryan and or Sloane to be out here with him at all times." I state firmly

"Ma'am" Sawyer confirms with a nod.

I turn back to Andrea

"It's not that I do not trust you. It simply makes my life easier with my husband" I say with a smirk and Andrea nods in agreement. _Hell she has worked for him for years she knows how he gets._

I make my way to Christian's office, "Oh Sawyer!"

He turns around. 'Ma'am?"

"We need to hide the car and you three until after Christian knows we are here."

"Already taken care of Mrs. Grey." he says with a smile

"Thank you Sawyer." I smile back and turn back to Christian's office.

I quickly feed Teddy and we are sitting in Christians Chair relaxing and waiting when my phone goes off. Its Christian he has sent me a Text and I don't respond. Then It rings and I don't answer he should be here any moment. It rings again and I still don't answer. Andrea beeps the phone in Christian's office. _Showtime. _

"Mrs. Grey you are not responding to me, Ana I swear if….." I hear Christian leaving a heated message on my voicemail, as he opens the door. I sit in his chair with our son in my arms I stare at the door and smile widely at him, he freezes when he sees me.

"If I am what? My love." I say with amusement.

Christian hangs up the phone and closes the door.

"Mrs. Grey what a pleasant surprise, what are you doing here?"

"Well Mr. Grey, I thought that seeing as you are a busy CEO and all that you might not have time for lunch, so as your loving wife I thought it was my responsibility to make you have something to eat." I grin wickedly.

"Well Mrs. Grey, how were you so sure I would have time for lunch today how do you know that I am not on my way to another meeting?"

"Well my dear husband, I have my ways. You are not the only one who can pull off a surprise. However Mr. Grey if the young master and I are keeping you from a meeting by all means we will let you get back to work." I say with a sly grin.

"Oh no my Ana, this is a much better way to spend my day." He says with a smile as he saunters over to me.

"Are you sure Mr. Grey, we would not want to keep you from the world of mergers and acquisitions." I ask innocently

"I don't care what is scheduled for the rest of the day it matters next to nothing compared to you and Teddy." He states firmly as he bend down to give me a kiss. As he rises he takes Teddy from my arms and walks him around the office.

"Someday Teddy all this will be yours. What do you think about that?" Christian tells Ted

I giggle. I love it when Christian talks to Teddy.

Chrisitan looks back to me with a beaming smile plastered across his face.

"God Ana, I love having this little guy he makes all my problems vanish, just like you do. He makes the world seem so simple. I mean you me and Ted. That's all that matters."

"I agree baby. He melts my heart all the time." I say rising and walking over to my husband.

"Well Mr. Grey, if you are hungry, Andrea has offered to watch Teddy while you and I have a quiet lunch, I already informed Sawyer that Either Sloane or Ryan is to stay with them at all times."

Christian just grins down at me.

"What?" I ask

"Oh Nothing, you have just become more authoritative and it's sexy." He grins wickedly

"Well perhaps Mr. Grey we should have dessert first, then lunch." I grin as I slip my hand between us and stroke his pants firm but gentle. I am awarded with a groan from my husband.

Christian gazes down at me and I can see the passion in his eyes. I stop and take Teddy from him and place him in the car seat and walk out of the office, Andrea jumps up as I walk over to her.

"Will you still keep an eye on Teddy?" I ask her already knowing the answer

"Oh Yes Mrs. Grey I would love to." She grins widely

At that moment Ryan and Sloane come around the corner and take their places in the lobby area to keep a watchful eye out.

Christian has come out of his office putting his arm around my waist.

"Andrea no calls or visitors until I say, I would like to enjoy my lunch with my wife."

"Yes Sir." She smiles

Christian and I make our way back to his office, we are barely inside when he closes his door and pins me up against the back of the door with his hips and I can feel his erection against my thigh, his lips swoop down to mine and I feel the intensity and passion in this kiss. I throw my arms around his neck and bury my fingers in his hair keeping him against me; his arms encircle my waist as he crushes me to him. Both of us trying to get the other as close as we possibly can. When he breaks away we are both panting heavily.

"I need you so bad baby the next two week are going to be agony!" he breaths against my neck

I cling to him and whimper "I feel the same way baby, I need you too! I have half a mind to call Dr. Green for a checkup and see if we can get off suspension early." I grin

"If only it were that simple baby"

"I know love, but I think I can help you with your umm growing problem" I say with a wicked grin

He smirks "and how may I ask do you plan to do that?"

"Is this office sound proof?" I ask

"Um yes it is Mrs. Grey. Why do you ask?" he chuckles

"Because Mr. Grey I am going to Fuck you with my mouth and make you yell." With those words I spin us around so that he is against the door. I lean up and kiss him as I begin to stroke him once more through his pants. He puts his hands on my hips. I move both my hands to his shirt and unbutton it. I break our kiss to trail kisses down his neck across his chest. I lick my way down his stomach as I drop to my knees.

I unbutton his pants and pull down his zipper. I pull his pants down followed by his boxers, and I grasp him firmly in one hand and squeeze gently, My other hand is on his hip and I am licking him hipbone to hipbone.

"Ana" he groans as he begins to sway. My hand begins to move up and down gently as I trail kisses along his finely sculpted stomach and I dip my tongue into his belly button and I get a deep guttural moan from my husband. I can't help but smirk.

"I take it you like that my love."

"Ana" he breaths.

His breath has become rapid and shallow and I am barely getting started.

I bring my mouth down to him and trail kisses up and down his shaft. The tip of my tongue begins to swirl lightly over his tip and I can hear his breath hitch. I suck softly on the tip as my hand increases its pace up and down and I grip tightens slightly. I move my lips over to his thigh and trail my tongue up the inside of his leg to just under his hip then up along the base of his stomach and back down the other side, switching my hand as I go.

"Oooo…Ana…My God….Ana…" he groans and bucks his hips.

He is close and I release my hand and lips. I look up and grin wickedly he looks down panting with passion blazing in his grey eyes. I kiss his stomach and blow gently on the tip of his erection.

"Ana…please…" he growls.

His breathing begins to slow. His head is back against the door as he tries to compose himself and I pounce, and take him into my mouth quickly deeply wrapping my lips around him tightly.

"ANA!" he cries

Gasping he braces his hands on my shoulders. I move back up very slowly feeling every inch of him swirling my tongue as I go. I reach the tip and take him quickly again down to his base. Again sucking hard I move slowly back up.

"My God Ana…." He breaths.

I increase my pace, sucking and swirling my tongue, hard and fast then slow and easy. I can feel him begin to tense again and I know this will be intense since I did not bring him over the edge the first time. His hips are swaying and bucking.

I place my hand on his hips to hold him still. Increasing my pace holding him still I feel the grip on my shoulder tighten then he moved his hands to my hair and pulls its only not painful. Faster and Faster I moved and I can hear his growl start to get louder, it's constant but gets louder and louder. I continue to move faster he's close I know.

"grrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAA AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH ANA!" he cries out loudly and comes gloriously his body convulsing and shaking, I take all that he is giving me until he has finished.

I rise slowly leaving kisses along his stomach as I make my way up to his chest. I wrap my arms around his waist as he slumps against me and the door, and tries to bring his breathing under control.

"How was that Mr. Grey?" I ask when his breathing had slowed.

"Baby you are amazing, that just made my day a thousand times better."

"Glad I could help love. Shall we eat? I am hungry."

"Fine idea baby perhaps if you eat well I will return the favor." He grin then kisses me.

We break away and he bends down to retrieve his boxes and pants and redresses. He begins to button his shirt and I stop him.

"I want you to keep this un-done. You look so hot right now." I say softly

"Really?" he grins

"Oh yes you are always hot but right now you are lip biting hot" I grin

"We aim to please Mrs. Grey." He says with a kiss.

We make a floor picnic and enjoy our lunch of sandwiches, pasta salad & grapes. Christian tells me about his meeting this morning and we discuss the plans for tomorrow night.

"So I have made arrangements for the babysitter we like, to accompany us to the party. I have spoken to my mom who of course is setting up a room for Teddy to stay in along with the babysitter. We can bring the portable crib with us since we are going over early that way Teddy has somewhere to nap." Chrisitan explains

"That sounds good." I reply

"We will be bringing security with us as well. Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, and Sloane will join us. Taylor and Sawyer will accompany you me and Teddy. Ryan & Sloane will follow."

I smirk

"What?" he asks

"Just you. I love you so much. Thank you for looking out for me and Teddy." I grin and lean over to kiss him softly.

"You don't have to thank me it's what I do." He states softly

"I know it is Christian but I want you to know I appreciate it."

"I know you do Ana."

He leans over to kiss me again. This time the kiss is possessive. Pushing me up against the couch in his office, I moan into his mouth as he consumes me. He gently lifts up onto the couch and lays half on me half kneeling on the floor his lips never leaving mine. His hand is skimming along the hem of my shirt and the top of my jeans. He caresses his way across my stomach and up to cup my breast. Christian teases my nipple through my bra and I can't help but moan, arching my back which breaks our kiss lifting my shirt and trailing kisses across my stomach I sit up and allow Christian to take off my shirt. He frees both my breasts and they are both trussed up by my bra. He takes one nipple in his mouth and sucks gently. He takes the other between his fingers and rolls twist and pulls.

"oooo….Christian…" I moan and arch off the couch

"I know baby…feel it" he says against my skin as he switches sides.

He begins again with the other breast and I feel like I am going to explode. Christian slides his hand back down and strokes me on top of my jeans and I push into his hand, his hand stroking harder as the seam of my jeans hit just the right spot. I groan. He continues to stroke harder then slowly slips his hand beneath my jeans and panties and strokes again so soft and slow so gentle I can barley feel him but its enough to set my nerves on fire.

"Christian….please…ooo….god Christian!" I pant, my breathing has become rapid

Christian continues to stroke me harder and I am so close. I feel it building in my core, my muscles are tensing and I don't know how much longer I can hold out.

"aaahhh…baby please…please…Christian…"I beg him I need this

He stops and trails kisses down my body as he pulls my jeans and panties down.

I am writhing on the couch with need. "Baby…Christian… please" I whimper

"Shhh baby, relax." He says softly as he trails kisses down my leg, and back up my other leg.

He spins me so I am sitting on the couch and he is kneeling on the floor in front of me, he slowly spreads my legs, and I moan, I know what's coming and I need it. He kisses the inside of my leg alternating legs, starting at my knee moving slowly up to my thigh getting closer to my sex. He hands are massaging gently just on either side of my sex.

"ooohhh" I groan I raise my hips to encourage Christian.

He places his hands on my hips to hold me still and blows gently along my sex. I am burning all over I need him to put this fire out.

"Christian please I can't take it any longer" I beg

With that he kisses his way up and his lips are on my gently his tongue strokes me.

"Oh God Yes!" I cry out when his mouth finally makes contact with me.

His hands move up to knead my breasts the sensations are running wild through my body. Christian knows just what to do to my body to make every inch sing out for him. Christian continues his sensual assault, licking hard and fast then slow and gentle, then sucking my clit gently, then goes back to licking and I am building higher and higher. I am panting and writhing

"ooooo…Christian….please….baby…oh god baby….please don't stop Christian….please…oooo" I beg and whimper my head rolling from side to side, my hands fisting in his hair, I am so close.

"So…close…Christian…..oooo….ooooo….ooooo….oh god baby…..yes….yes…..yes…OH MY FUCKING YES…CHRISTIAN!" I scream out as I fall over the edge my body bows off the couch and convulses. Christian wraps me in his arms and holds me as I continue to call out his name over and over as my orgasm takes over my body.

When I have finally come down I am wrapped in my husband's arms laying on top of him on the floor, as he strokes my back

"How was that baby?"

"mmmm….Christian you sure know what you're doing baby." I say softly

He chuckles. "I take it you enjoyed yourself."

"Oh yes baby. How about you?"

"Let's just say this is the best lunch I have ever had." He grins

"I will have to agree." Raising my head to look into his eyes and kiss him softly on the lips.

I reluctantly climb off my husband and I can feel his eyes on me as put my clothes back on. I turn around and smile. Christian stands up and wraps his arms around my waist and nuzzles my neck.

"Baby if you keep that up you are going to miss your 3 o'clock meeting" I state simply

"mmm but it would be worth it."

"I would feel guilty for keeping you from work besides Teddy will need a nap soon."

"Fair point well made love."

I break away from Christian and begin to clean up our lunch mess, and Christian helps. After everything is packed up I take his hand and lead him to the door. He opens to door for me and we are greeted by a group of women surrounding Andrea's desk. They are all gushing over my son and I can't help but giggle. I look up at Christian and he is grinning.

"Barley a month old and already has the ladies falling over him." Christian says laughing

"He takes after his Daddy." I state simply "I am not going to be happy when he gets older. No one will be good enough for my baby." I say with a smile

Walking over to the ladies with his arm wrapped around my waist.

"Excuse me ladies, have you seen my son?" Christian asks playfully

All the ladies giggle and make way for Christian. He leans down and takes his son from his car seat and cuddles him on his chest and kisses his head.

"AWWWW" come all the gushes from the ladies and I roll my eyes.

"Back to work please ladies." Christian states.

They all giggle and head back to their work stations.

Christian grins and walks back to me. "I will walk you two down to the car baby."

I stand with a smile shaking my head.

"What are you smiling about?"

"You! I think I have just created a monster by bringing Teddy here."

He looks at me confused.

"As if all the women don't swoon over you enough I have just given them the visual of you holding our son and being all sweet." I giggle.

I glance over at Taylor and Sawyer who are on the other side of Andrea's desk and all three are trying not to laugh as well.

"Taylor it's you that will have to protect him from all these ladies" I tease

"I will do my best Mrs. Grey" He smiles

"You'd better. I trust you to keep my husband safe from all manner of threats even ones from adoring women." I laugh

"Sawyer" I call out "Would you please prepare the car and take this down with you?"

"Yes ma'am" He replies with a smile as he takes the car seat and lunch bag with him.

"Andrea, thank you for watching Teddy while Christian and I enjoyed our lunch." I say sweetly

"Oh Mrs. Grey it was my pleasure, he is such a sweet little guy and so adorable!"

"Thank you." I smile

Christian escorts me and Teddy down the elevator and to the car. He straps Teddy into the car seat and then wraps his arms around me.

"Thank you for lunch Mrs. Grey."

"You are most welcome Mr. Grey." I lean up and kiss him.

"I will be home right after my meeting baby."

"I look forward to it love. Now I must get our son home so he can take his nap."

Christian kisses me again and I climb into the car. I blow him a kiss and close the door. With a smile on my face and my son next to me we head home.


	9. Teddy's First Party

**A/N: Hi all. I am back from my road trip. The nice thing about a road trip plenty of time to write! I will finish the next chapter tonight and have it uploaded for you hopefully tomorrow. Enjoy!**

**Thanks again for all the review and follows. I have such fun reading them.**

We have arrived at Bellevue about mid-day. Christian I agreed to help Grace set up for the party tonight so we have brought along our clothed for tonight and as well as a change for tomorrow we decided to just stay here tonight since it will be late and we had already decided on bringing Teddy. I think Kate and Elliott will be staying as well. Grace is thrilled to have her family home for the weekend.

As it turns out the babysitter will be arriving later with Ryan and Sloane. At the moment Taylor and Sawyer are coordinating with the event security. I take Teddy into the library, at the back of the house where he will be tonight and feed him. Once he is fed and down from his nap, I go and find out where I am needed.

About 4 hours later everything is finished, the tents are up, tables have been set, and lanterns are hanging and the caterers are in the kitchen. We have all retired to our respected rooms to relax and get ready. I am cradling Teddy on Christian's childhood bed and just talking to him when Christian walks in with our bags and clothes from the car. I smile up as our eyes meet.

"Look who's here Teddy bear. Is that Daddy?" I ask playfully Teddy is just watching me.

Christian hangs up our clothes and comes to sit down next to me and I snuggle into his shoulder we both are talking to Teddy and I don't even realize that I fall asleep.

"Ana, baby, it's time to get up." Christian gently wakes me.

"Baby you fell asleep and we have to start getting ready."

"Oh my, I did not even realize I was tired, you are mighty comfortable Mr. Grey."

He chuckles "You shower first Ana, I'll keep Teddy. That way you can feed him while I shower."

"Sounds good baby, Thanks."

I hop in to a blissfully hot shower as I step out and throw on my robe; I can hear Christian talking to Ted.

"It was this time last year Teddy, that began Mommy and I's new relationship. We were not married yet but it's when I realized exactly just how important and amazing your mommy is and that I would do anything and everything to make mommy happy to give her the world. It was this time last year when I realized I could never ever live without her. I am so lucky to have you and mommy, Teddy bear. So, so lucky." He says quietly nestling Teddy on his chest.

Tears have welled up in my eyes, I love these moments. Christian is always so honest with Teddy even though Ted has no idea what Christian is saying but it does not matter. Christian will always be honest with his son.

"And we are so lucky to have you as well Christian. We could not ask for a better husband and father." I state as I walk out of the bathroom over to him. I crawl next to him and give him a gentle kiss.

"I love you Christian."

"I love you too baby."

"Now let me have Ted so I can feed him and get him dressed. Christian hands me Teddy and I settle against the pillows and begin to nurse. Christian watches for a few moments and then leans over and gives me a kiss and gets off the bed.

"I am going to go down and talk with Taylor and make sure that everything is set for tonight," says Christian.

"Ok baby, I will be here when you get back", I say with a smile.

I watch Christian walk out of the room and I look down at my son still smiling

"Teddy you really are one lucky little boy, daddy is really so good at protecting us, we are so lucky to have him."

Teddy has finished nursing as Christian walks back into the room

"Everything set for tonight?" I ask

"Yeah everything is set, the babysitter has arrived. Sawyer is showing her the library and I have arranged for Ryan or Sloan to be standing guard all evening. And Ryan knows the list of people who can see Teddy so I am sure all will be fine."

"Sounds perfect now I am going to get Teddy dressed and you need to jump into the shower."

Christian grins "I'll be out in a bit baby"

As Christian get in I go to the bags and pull out my surprise for Christian. I think he is going to love this. Yesterday, after I picked up my dress, we did a little shopping and I found a tiny little tuxedo for my little man. I quickly dress teddy in the little black pants and white shirt, little silver vest, with matching silver bow tie _clip- on, _black jacket, and course tiny shoes to match. I know it was ridiculous to buy a one month old a tuxedo that he is going to grow out of in two weeks but I simply couldn't resist. I love the idea of dressing him like his daddy. I even went so far to buy him a tiny black and silver baby masquerade mask. I can't help but giggle when I see Teddy dressed so handsomely. Now that Ted is dressed I put him in his bouncy seat and pull out my clothes as well. I am in my panties and robe when Christian comes out of the bathroom.

"And what have we here?" Christian asks and I can hear the smile in his voice.

I grin and turn around to face my husband.

"Whatever do you mean," I ask with a sly grin

"Ana, where did you find a tux that small?"

"Actually I found it yesterday after I pick up my dress and found it in one of the stores that we went to they had a whole section of baby dress clothes. It was an impulse buy, I couldn't resist. Do you like it?"

"Ana I absolutely love it. He looks so adorable."

I grin, "I figured what better way to have Teddy attend his first party, then looking handsome just like his daddy. "

Christian chuckles, "Well baby you succeeded, his grandmother and his two aunties are going to love it."

I giggle "Yes, they are going to fall all over him tonight, now Mr. Grey I think that we should get dressed ourselves."

"Yes Mrs. Grey, I do believe we should."

Christian goes to get dress and I go into the bathroom and start to put on my makeup and style my hair. And by the time I make it out Christian is fully dress and talking to Teddy. I grab my bag with my dress and shoes and head toward back to the bathroom.

"Why do you just get dress in here Christian asks.

"Because I don't want you to see my dress yet." comes my reply. Christian grins and I step back into the bathroom and close the door.

I slip into my shoes and gently pull on my dress. Caroline did an excellent job on the dress. You can't tell that she loosen the top or that she sewed in nursing pads and I must admit that I look pretty good with my hair pull on top of my head with curls flowing loosely and this dress really highlights my figure. I give myself one finally look over and decide that I am ready. As I walk out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, Christian looks up from Teddy and I hear his sharp intake of air.

"Well do you like the dress" I ask as I turn slowly for him.

"Anastasia you look absolutely stunning. His eyes roam over my body and he stands up and walks over to me.

"That dress really brings out your eyes. It makes you look sexy as hell." He leans down to whisper in my ear "it's too bad that we are on suspension otherwise I would rip that dress off you right now and fuck you." He then plants a passionate kiss on my lips as I melt into him and moan.

He breaks away and leans he forehead against mine as we both try to steady our breathing.

"I have a present for you Mrs. Grey." Christian walks over to the dresser and comes back with a teal box, from Tiffany's and hands it to me.

"What is this for?" I ask

"Just open it baby."

I pull off the ribbon and open the box. I gasp at what I find. Inside is a beautiful Diamond and blue sapphire necklace with matching bracelet and tear drop earrings.

"I did not know what your dress looked like so I got it to match your eyes. Do you like them?"

"Christian….they're beautiful" I say stunned

My eyes lock with his and tears are forming.

He takes the bracelet out and places it on my wrist. Then takes the necklace and steps behind me and clasps it around my neck then wraps his arms around my waist and kisses my neck.

"Ana, baby, thank you for making this last year the best in my life, I could not live my life without you. Thank you being mine and giving me our son. I love you."

"I love you too Christian, this last year has been the best in my life as well. Thank you, and Thank you for these." I say as a few tears fall down my cheeks I turn around and kiss him.

"Well, shall we join the party?" Christian asks.

"Yes we shall." I reply I wipe my eyes, and cheeks, check my makeup again and put in my matching earrings.

I grab our masks out of the bags and Christian and I both put them on Christians is of course silver and black, mine matches my dress. I put Teddy mask on as well and grin.

Christian Pick Teddy up and cradles him in one arm against his chest and wraps the other around my waist and we make our way down stairs.

We barely make it downstairs when I hear squeals and see both Kate and Mia rushing over to us.

"OH MY GOD!" Squeals Mia. "He looks so adorable!"

"Ana where did you find a mini tux?" Kate asks

"I found it yesterday actually I could not resist.'

"I love it! Exclaims Mia. He really is a mini Christian!"

I giggle and glance up at Christian who is grinning ear to ear. I see Grace walking over.

"Now what is all the commotion about?" she asks as she reaches us then looking at Teddy

"Oh my goodness what a site this is!" She gushes. "I am going to need a picture of this." She states happily.

"Ana!" Kate exclaims. "You look hot! and holy shit is that necklace new?"

"Yes Kate it is and so is this and these." I point out as I show her my bracelet and earrings.

"Job well done Grey" she smiles at Christian, he nods and smiles in return. Their relationship is progressing but it's really slow progress.

"You look amazing tonight too Kate and so do you Mia. We all look hot!" I laugh

We all make our rounds giving our greetings. We stop and get our souvenir picture of the 3 of us. Then we gather all the Greys and Kavanaghs and take a big group picture I inform Christian that I want copies of both of those for sure.

We say hello to few other people and stop to chat with John & Rhian. Christian holds Teddy the entire time.

Just before dinner Christian and I take Teddy and I inside. We walk over to the library where Ryan and Sloane are standing guard, as we walk in, Sasha, the babysitter smiles, puts her book down and stands with a smile.

"Hi Sasha, I fed Teddy about two hours ago. He will stay asleep for the next couple hours I will be back in about 2 hours or so to feed him. If there are any problems at all please send Sloane or Ryan to come and get me. Understand?"

"Yes Mrs. Grey." She nods and I relax slightly. I am really glad Christian was able to work this out. The fact is this was the only way I was comfortable coming tonight, knowing my son was nearby so I could attend to him quickly if needed.

Christian removes Teddy's mask and places him in the crib. I just stand there looking at my son. Christian takes my hand.

"Come Ana, he will be fine, we are right outside if there are any problems. Let's go enjoy the evening."

"We will be fine Mrs. Grey" Sasha assures me

I nod and Christian leads me out of the room. I stop at the door and inform Ryan to come get me if there are any problems what so ever. He nods in understanding.

Christian escorts me back outside and we take our seats we join, Grace, Carrick, Elliott, Kate, Mia & Ethan.

The Conversation at our table is lively we talk about everything and nothing. We enjoy lovely dinner of roasted duck, and much more amazing food that I am not sure the names but it was delicious. I excuse myself after dinner to go feed Teddy and get him in his pajamas. I return just as the auction finishes and the MC is asking for all volunteers for the First Dance auction to join him on stage. Since Kate and I are married we thankfully don't have to participate. I am so glad I don't want to go through that embarrassment again. Mia however is up on stage grinning like a fool.

Christian leans over to me.

"Everything ok?" He asks

"Yes Teddy is fed and sleeping peacefully. Sasha said he has been fine, no fussing." I reply

Christian smiles and places his hand on my knee and leans over to Ethan.

"Hey Kavanagh, you had better go bid on my sister. I would not want her to end up with anyone else tonight." He smirks and his implication is clear.

Ethan smiles back looking a bit hesitant.

"Don't worry Ethan; we have you covered just take care of our little sister." Elliott states

Ethan smiles and makes his way to the stage. Mia Spots him and blows him a little kiss.

I laugh softly. I think it's really sweet that Ethan and Mia have gotten over their weird issue about their siblings being married. They really are a cute couple and I am glad that Christian and Elliott approve or the two of them would not stand a chance.

Mariah is the first one to be bid on she has two gentlemen after her and she goes for $2500. Next is Lily and she has 2 gentleman callers as well and goes for $2000. Next up is Mia. Both Elliott and Christian turn to face the stage and pay attention.

"What do I have for the lovely Mia?" the MC asks

"$500" Ethan calls out

"$800" and guy to the left of stage calls out

"$1000" another calls out from the back

"$1500" yells Ethan

"$2000" yells the guy from back

"$3000" yells Ethan

Mia's face has fallen slightly. At this point and I can feel Christian tense a little, I am sure he does not like all these other guys bidding on his sister.

"$6000" yells a new bidder from the right of the stage

"$7000" yells the bidder in the back

"$8000" yells the bidder in on the right.

The guy on the left has bowed out gracefully

"10,000" calls the bidder in the back

Ethan turns and glances nervously at Elliot and Christian.

Elliott smiles at Ethan and Christian Nods.

Ethan smiles, turns back to the stage "$25,000" he yells and the cowed gasps.

"$25,000 going once….twice…." silence from the other bidders…"SOLD" shouts the MC as he points to Ethan.

I can see Mia Relax as she walks over to the edge of the stage and takes Ethan's hands as he helps her down and wraps her in his arms.

"What was that all about?" I ask pointedly at Christian.

"Yeah you two want to explain?" Kate is looking at Elliott

Christian and Elliott grin at each other

"It's simple." States Christian "After last year when that stupid fucker Mia brought did not even bid on her, she was a little hurt. I did not like him anyway. I caught him making out with another girl so I escorted him out of the party and told him if he ever came near Mia again I would kick the living shit out of him. He tried to be tough told me that Mia was not worth the trouble, so I punched him."

"Where the hell was I when all of this happened?" I ask slightly stunned how did I miss this?

"Anyway, Elliott and I told Ethan that it did not matter how much he had to bid, that we had him covered. We don't want anyone else to be with Mia." Christian finishes with a smile.

"Yeah baby," Elliott smiles at Kate. "We totally approve of this relationship we know that Ethan is not going to hurt our baby sister and that he will protect her. As older brothers it's our job to make sure no guys hurt her and we don't have to worry about that with Ethan." He states then kisses Kate on the cheek.

Kate and I both break out into giggles. "Well I am glad you approve of my brother." Kate says through her laughter.

"Same here." I state "Otherwise those two would not stand a chance and they are such a great couple." I giggle and we are all laughing.

As the first dance song finishes Christian stands and offers me his hand. "May I have the pleasure of this dance?" he asks giving me his full megawatt sexy as all hell Christian Grey smile.

"I would be honored" I smile back and take his hand as he helps me up.

Elliott has asked Kate as well and we are both being escorted to the dance floor as the instrumental version of "Every Breath You Take" begins to play and I can't help but giggle and Christian grins down at me.

"Something amusing?" he asks playfully?

"Why yes, I do believe this is one of your songs." I say "The stalker anthem." I giggle again

Christian chuckles and wraps me in his arms and whisks me across the dance floor. Dance to several more songs and we are all dancing close to each other, which allows us to share dances with one another, Kate and I both Dance with Carrick, and Grace dances with both her boys and Ethan and Mia gets to dance with her brothers. We finish this dance with our respected partners.

"Baby I am going to go up to the house I need to use the restroom and I want to check on Teddy."

"Ok I will come with you." Christian states.

"Oh no you don't Christian." Mia says "I'll go with Ana, Kate are you coming?"

"Yeah" Kate replies.

"No Boys." Mia grins at her brother. Christian glares playfully at his sister then kisses my temple

"We be back shortly baby." I smile up at him

Kate, Mia & I make our way up to the house, laughing and gushing about our men. We make our way to the restroom and once we are all finished I tell them I am going to check on Teddy.

"We will come with you we want to see our nephew." Kate says.

We all walk over to the library. Sloan is standing guard. I open the door quietly and I walk in I freeze at the site before me….


	10. Momma Bear

**A/N: Hi all thank you for all the reviews as usual. This chapter was fun to write I think we were all waiting for a similar moment in the original books. Let me know what you think. If you like it I will continue. :) **

"What the fuck are you doing here and why the hell are you holding my son?" I spit out

Mrs. Robinson spins to look at me and grins like a Cheshire cat.

"Why hello Ana. Your son is absolutely adorable it's a good thing he looks just like his father."

I walk over and take Teddy out of her arms. Kate and Mia have followed me into the room and Kate is beside me in seconds.

"How fucking dare you touch my son, who the hell do you think you are?" My voice is low and full of contempt.

I am trying to control the fury I feel. I want to rip her apart how dare she touch _my _son!

She steps towards me and changes into her dominate stance, and glares at me. I don't back down or cower.

"Elena you know that you are not welcome here and how the hell did you get into this room? You are not allowed in here." I state my voice rising.

"I don't know what you mean Ana. I have attended this event for years, why would you think I would not be here. I have been around way before you and I will be around long after you."

Kate sensing this will get ugly has taken Teddy from me.

"Mrs. Grey. Sloane let her in. She stated that this woman was an old friend of the family and that it would be ok. I am sorry I did not know." I turn to glare at Sasha.

Hearing my voice rise both Sloane and Ryan have stepped into the room.

"Mrs. Grey I am sorry she said she was a family friend and Ryan was on break I thought it would be fine." Sloane states in a soft voice

Turning my glare to her.

"Why the fuck didn't you contact Sawyer, Taylor or Ryan for clearance? You were both told that no unauthorized visitors are to be admitted without clearance?" I shout

"I am sorry Mrs. Grey." She says apologetically

"Sorry? You are sorry? Well sorry is not good enough! You failed to follow orders, you were given one simple job, to stand here and make sure no one bothered my son, and you failed! You have failed to protect my son! You are fired!" I shout "Get out now!"

Sloane stands staring at me all eyes in the room are on me.

"Did I not make myself clear? I said get out NOW!" I shout again.

She turns and walks out of the room.

"Quite the little Temper-tantrum you are throwing Ana. I would be careful if I were you. I know Christian would not approve of this behavior." Elena states and I can hear the grin in her voice

I spin back and glare at her.

"Mia, go get Christian Now!" I hear Kate whisper to her and Mia races out of the room.

"My behavior, Elena is not your concern. I can assure you Christian will not have a single problem with it. If I were _you_ I would leave before he gets here. He will not be happy to see you."

Elena laughs. "Oh Ana sweetie, he is always happy to see me, he just plays it off that he is not, to keep you under control. Of course if he had followed my instructions, you would not be here and you certainly would not be able to act like you are now, and you would not be embarrassing him at every turn."

"Excuse me? Your instructions? Christian is a grown man he can make his own decisions and he decided that he did not want that life anymore Elena." I snap

"If that is so then why does he always come back to me? You see Ana, I can give Christian what he really needs not what you think he needs. I know him better than anyone. I taught him everything he knows. He is the man he is today because of me. I made him, and we both know this happy little life you think you are living won't last much longer." She spits out acidly

My fury is barely contained. How dare she claim to know _my _husband. She knows nothing about him anymore.

I feel him, I can't see him but I know Christian has arrived at the door. He is being held back and being kept silent by both Sawyer and Taylor

"You are wrong Elena. You don't know Christian anymore. I do._ I_ made him who he is today. He decided who he wanted to be and I helped him get there because I love him. I love him in a way that you never could and in a way that you will never understand. Chrisitan Grey is an amazing man because that's who _he_ chose to be. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. He is a kind loving caring, protective husband and father and if you think for one second that I am going to let you get your claws into him again you are dead wrong. We are happy leave my husband alone, leave my son alone, If you come near either one of the again I will personally take you down."

Elena laughs again. "And what exactly is mousy, helpless, little gold digging Ana Steele going to do about it? I have to give it to you however, getting pregnant trying to force Christian to keep you was a bold attempt but you see little Ana you were nothing before Christian you are nothing without him and you will be nothing again when he realizes that you can't fulfill his needs. He will come back to me like he always does. He will always be mine."

My blood is boiling at the moment. How fucking dare she!

"The name is Anastasia Grey, and you are wrong. I am not nothing. Christian loves me and I love him. He belongs to me. Not you. He married me. Christian Grey is mine always and forever and you are nothing but a pathetic old woman who can't see when she has lost. He is mine Elena I will protect what is mine. I swear if you hurt Christian…."

"Oh Ana you silly little girl. You can't hurt me. You don't have the guts or the power to do anything to me. Don't you see you and that pathetic excuse you call a son are worth nothing to Christian and when he sees this he will leave you and you will be left with nothing can't you see that? As we know Christian Grey does not do children. I can't believe he actually allowed you to keep that baby. I am surprised he did not make you get rid of that evil_ thing_ the moment he found out." She glares at me as she towers over me, as my hands continue to fist at my sides.

"You fucking bitch" I scream and I can't stop my actions I bring my hand back and connect my fist square in the middle of her face, she staggers back and falls to the floor, and launch myself on to her and continuing to punch and smack her.

"Don't you ever fucking come near my family again Elena. I will kill you if you ever touch my husband or my son again!" I shout as I continue to hit her.

The next thing I feel is Christians hand pulling me off her. "ANA" he shouts and he grabs both my arms and pulls me off Elena and pulls me toward him my back to his front an wraps his arms around me. I am shaking and breathing heavy.

"Taylor, Sawyer escort Mrs. Lincoln out of this house right now and make sure she gets home. Mia go get mom and dad now!"

I keep my fixed glare on Elena as she is picked up by Sawyer and Taylor. Both her eyes are starting to bruise and swell her nose is bleeding, probably broken and she has a huge gash across her right cheek from my ring. I can't help the pride and satisfaction I feel at finally getting my hands on Elena. As I watch her being carried out I notice that Elliot has joined Kate who is still holding Teddy and that Grace and Carrick have arrived in time to see Elena escorted from the room.

"What the hell happened?" Carrick demands

"Ana went all Momma Bear on Elena!" Kate says with pride in her voice.

My breathing has calmed slightly but I am still shaking from anger and adrenalin.

"Ryan you and Sloane please take Sasha home. Sasha you will be contacted tomorrow." Christian orders

Sasha nods.

"Um.." Ryan begins to speak

"What?" Christian snaps

"I fired Sloane." I state

"Fine, Ryan take Sasha home and come back here someone has some explaining to do." Christian snaps

Ryan escorts Sasha out of the room and Grace closes the door. We are all here now.

Christian turns me around to face him and looks down at me.

"Baby what the hell happened?"

I take a deep breath to try and slow my shaking.

"Come sit down Ana" Grace suggests.

Christian walks me over to the couch. I take another deep breath.

"Well the three of us girls were just coming to check on Teddy before we came back down to the party. Sloane was the only one on guard and when I opened the door. That woman was standing in the room holding my son." I spit out my body tenses at the memory.

"I wanted to kill her. I found out that Sloane had let her in without clearing it with Taylor or Sawyer and Ryan was on break. So I fired her. She failed at protecting my son and I won't have it. If she can't follow simple instructions then I don't want her near my son." I look at Christian and I can see the anger in his eyes but I know that it's not towards me.

Keeping my eyes locked on his I continue.

"Elena accused me of throwing a temper-tantrum and told me you would not approve. She told me if I was hers I would never be allowed to act like that and that I embarrass you. She told me that I was nothing. I was a gold digger. I was worthless and that you would always go back to her. She said that she made you and that she knew you better then anyone. She told me I got pregnant on purpose and that eventually you would realize that I was not enough and would leave." Christian sighs

"Oh baby I am so sorry. Please don't listen to her." Christian leans over and kisses my forehead

"Christian I told her to leave us alone. I told her you were mine. I made you who you are right now. I told her that you are an amazing husband and father and that you belong to me. I told her that I was not nothing and I told her if she did not leave our family alone I would take her down. She laughed and told me I did not have the guts. She insulted my husband and son and I lost it. Momma Bear attacked." I grin and giggle at the nick name Kate gave me.

"And you know what baby? It felt amazing!" My smile gets bigger

Christian smiles and pulls me to him and hugs me tight.

"Your amazing Ana" he whispers in my ear

"I'm impressed 'Momma Bear'." Kate grins. "I have never seen you so furious before. I mean even when she sent the basket over. I knew you had it in you however."

"Yeah Momma bear is way better than Ana Tyson" Elliott jokes

"She touched my son." I state simply and glance up to Grace who locks eyes with me and I know she understands completely where I am coming from. She nods and smiles at me.

Taylor, Sawyer and Ryan all enter the room.

"Would you all leave us please?" Christian asks

They all start to leave. "Mom, dad would you please stay." They nod

Kate comes over and hands Teddy down to me and I cradle him tightly to my chest and kiss him softly on the head as tears run down my cheeks.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asks

"Yes, I am fine, just glad that he is safe back in my arms that's all." I state and Christian nods.

"Dad." Christian turns to look at Carrick. "What else can we do along with a restraining order I don't want her anywhere near any of the Greys."

"I will look into it son first thing in the morning." Carrick states.

"Taylor, how the hell did she even get on the property?"

"She had a mask sir, she blended right in. My guess is she was watching you both all evening and waited until Ryan left knowing she had a better chance of getting in with Sloane. I don't think she meant any harm she knew she would not have been allowed to leave the room with him. I think it was just morbid curiosity tonight sir."

"DIDN'T MEAN ANY HARM?" I Shout. "She knew damn well what she was doing and I know she was waiting for either me or Christian to walk in and see her." I snap

I stand up still holding my son and walk over stopping in front of our three guards.

"I want all three of you to listen closely to me." My voice is calm, but stern.

"This Child in my arms is to be kept safe at all times. A fuck up like tonight will never happen again am I clear?" they all nod.

"Whoever you hire is to understand that no one and I mean no one other than family and our close friends, is to come near my son. Understood?" Again they nod.

"Something like this happens again and you will all be out of a job, I don't care if you do 'technically' work for my husband, I am Mrs. Christian Grey and I will fire all of you if you three can't protect my son, husband and me then I have no use for you." I state and with that I walk out of the room and up to Christian's room with Teddy. Grace follows me and I hear Christian talking to Taylor.

"Ana, darling are you ok?" Grace ask softly as she comes into Christians room.

"No Grace, I am still furious. How dare she come into _your_ home and touch _my_ son, then insult me and my husband. She is Crazy!" I am still pacing with Teddy in my arms I have kicked my shoes off however.

Grace just watches me. "I am so sorry Grace; I know how you felt when you found out about them. I could not control my actions; I just could not stop myself. I wanted to kill her. I might have had Christian not pulled me off her."

"Ana, the only thing you need to apologize for is not allowing me the chance to see you knock her down. And I agree with you. It felt amazing to slap her so I know how you feel too." She grins

Grace wraps her arms around me. "Ana I am so proud of you. You are a very strong young woman, perfect for my son."

"Thank you Grace. I try to be. I won't let her get to him again. I won't!" I say forcefully and begin to pace again.

"Ana sweetie, I know you are upset but you really need to try to calm down and relax." She rises and comes over to me. She takes Teddy and places him in his crib then walks me over to the bed and sits with me. We hear a knock on the door. Christian comes in.

"Baby, are you ok?" he asks softly

"If that's what you want to call it." I reply

"Well I will leave you two alone for the night if either one of you need anything just let me know." Grace says softly.

"Thanks mom, we will be fine." Christian gives her a hugs and she leaves the room.

"Ana….." Christian begins. I can tell he does not know what to say or do he has never really had to deal with me like this.

"Christian. I make no apologies for what I said and did downstairs. I would do it all again. I don't care if you are mad at me for firing Sloane or for talking to Taylor, Sawyer and Ryan like that. I will not allow that woman or anyone else hurt my son or you. I won't have it Christian I WON'T!" my voice rising and I am beginning to shake again

Christian comes over to me and wraps me in his arms. I throw my arms around his waist and bring him as close to me as I can.

"Baby you need to calm down, I am not mad at you at all. I just want to make sure you are ok."

"Christian, I don't want her to get to you. I don't want her to fill your head with silly ideas that you are not a good person. That you will fail as a father. I want… no I need you to know and understand that you are an amazing person. So kind, loving and protective. Teddy and I could want for nothing and that's all because of you." I feel my emotions letting go, no longer able to hold back.

"Ana, It is still hard to hear and accept this, but, I am trying. I am working on it for you baby." He says softly as he hugs me tighter.

"Christian I love you so much. You know that Right? I don't know what would happen if I ever lost you."

"Baby that is never going to happen. You and Teddy are my life, my world. Ana you are enough you always have been you always will be. I will never leave you. I love you." He kisses the top of my head.

"You ready for bed 'Momma Bear'?" He asks lightly

I can't help break into giggles.

"I have no idea how Kate came up with that nickname."

"Well from what I saw it's an accurate one. I mean you went crazy when you saw her with our son. You went into protective 'Momma Bear' mode." He smiles down at me.

"Besides I like you in 'Momma Bear mode', its sexy as hell and the way you took command with security I am impressed Mrs. Grey."

"Thank you Mr. Grey. I learned from the best." I grin and lean up to kiss him.

"Taylor and Sawyer don't hate me now do they?" I ask slightly concerned. That was the first time I had really taken control with them in an angry fashion.

"No baby they don't hate you. I saw a great deal of respect for you in their eyes. They understand that it was their screw up with Sloane. She should have never allowed Elena into that room without authorization. They will be much more thorough and clear with any other security they hire." Chrisitan states with his eyes locked on mine.

"Good they had better be." I nod

Chrisitan smirks. "Time for bed baby."

We both change into our pajamas. I go over and check on Teddy one more time. He is sleeping quite peacefully. I lean down and place a kiss on his cheek and climb into bed. Christian does the same and climbs into bed. I snuggle against him my head on his chest and thrown a leg over his getting as close to him as I can. Chrisitan tightens his arms around me. Neither one of us find sleep right away we just lay in silence in each other's comforting embrace.

The door opens and she walk in again and I lay in bed watching her move around the room, making her way over to the crib and pick up my son again, I swear that fucking bitch can't listen worth a damn! I fling the cover off and try to get out of bed but I can't move.

"Put my son down!" I yell she turns and looks at me and starts to laugh while holding my son. I try to get up again and still can't move.

"Put him down!" I scream again she continues to stand in at the foot of the bed holding Teddy and laughing.

"I will kill you, you fucking bitch put him down NOW!"

"ANA…..ANA…..ANA BABY WAKE UP!" Christian shakes me awake

I bolt up and look around the room. Christian has turned on a bedside lamp. I toss the covers aside and leap to the foot of the bed. Teddy is starting to fuss; no doubt I woke him up. I gently lift him and cradle him in my arms. Christian is behind me and puts his arms around my waist and I lean into him.

"I promise Teddy I will never let that woman touch you again. I will protect you baby boy." I say as tears stream down my cheeks. My nerves are tight and I know any sleep I managed to get was restless.

"Baby are you ok?" Christian asks softly.

"Yes I am ok. I think I am just still so wound up. I don't think I slept much."

"No you haven't you have been tossing and turning all night."

"I am sorry baby. I did not mean to keep you up as well."

"Don't worry Ana, its ok."

"I am going to feed Teddy to settle him back down he will be up in an hour to eat anyway."

Chrisitan leads me back over to the bed and helps me settle in. Christian lays beside me stroking Teddy's hair while I feed him and soon Ted is asleep again. I hold Teddy for a while longer just watching him sleep. Eventually I get up and place him back in his crib and climb back into bed with Chrisitan.

"Baby, are you sure you are ok?" he asks again kissing my forehead.

"I am still just tense. I can't stand the fact that she had her hands on our son. I know she just held him but still the though just makes me sick." I shudder

"Perhaps I should help you relax baby." He says, his hand slides up my stomach to my breast and he trails kisses down my neck.

"Christian" I moan. "We can't Teddy." is all I can manage to say as Christian nips and sucks my ear.

"Shh baby. Yes we can you just have to quiet love." He kisses me deeply

"Let me make you feel better." he whispers as he trails kisses down my throat and slides my nightgown down as he goes. His tongue trails across my neck and down in between my breasts then begins light circles around one breast slowly getting closer to my nipple. His hand slides down my arm, down my side along my leg and back up bringing my gown with him. His touch is so light and soft I can barely feel him which just increases the sensation.

"Christian" I moan my breathing has become shallow and rapid

"Just breathe baby." He whispers as he moves his mouth to my other breast.

His hand is now stroking me through my panties I squirm and whimper. One of my hands is fisting in his hair the other desperately clenching the blanket. His hand has slipped under my panties and he has increased his pressure. My nerves are so tight already that I don't know how much longer I can last.

"ooooo….baby….please….I can't…I…I..I….uuuuhhhhh" I groan

Christian knows I am close, he releases my breast.

"You're getting too loud baby." and I can hear the grin in his voice and he brings his mouth down to mine.

He increases the pressure against my clit and continues to stroke me harder and faster. His mouth never leaves mine as his tongue mashes with mine and explores my mouth. His mouth is absorbing my moans as he moves faster…harder…faster bringing me closer…closer…closer my arms fly around his body and grasp him as tight as I can as he pushes me over the edge I cling to him tightly as I moan and whimper into his mouth he holds me tight as my climax races through my body.

Still panting and trying to bring my breathing under control as I come down from my release I am aware Christian is spreading kisses across my face and I am still wrapped in his arms.

"Feel better baby?" he asks in between kisses

I nod. It's the only response I can come up with at the moment.

He chuckles

My breathing has slowed. "Baby that was…wow." I kiss him softly

"Relaxed now?" he asks

I nod "Yes, very thank you."

"My pleasure, Love." He grins and returns the kiss

"Now Mrs. Grey, You need to get some sleep." He says as he turns me and pulls me back against him

I don't argue I wrap my arms around his, around my stomach and close my eyes. As I drift off into a peaceful slumber I hear him whisper.

"I love you Ana."


	11. Grace

**A/N: Ok so I am sorry for making you wait so long for another update. I really wasn't sure where I wanted to take this story. I sort of have an idea and a direction at the moment but not sure how long I can stretch it out for. I have a few ideas. If you have any suggestions I would love to hear them!**

**The Response to 'Momma Bear' was awesome and I am glad you all enjoyed it! I love writing it. Keep the reviews coming!**

*****Alert this chapter may require tissues*** I had a few tears writing it. And with the directions of this small storyline I have implemented more tissues will be needed later.**

When I awake the next morning I am completely intertwined with Chrisitan. My leg wrapped around his and my head on his chest and my arm draped across his stomach. This is a change; usually it's him that's wrapped around me. I don't want to disturb him so I just lay there peacefully for a while.

"Good Morning Baby." He says as he stretches

"How did you know I was awake?" I ask rising my head to his.

"Your breathing changed, I always know when you're awake Ana."

"Oh." I giggle. "That's a little stalkery and creepy Christian." I say with a smile

He gives me a huge grin in return. I lean down to kiss him

"Hi." I smile when I break our kiss

"Hi. You slept better after we went back to bed last night." He states

"That's because my husband was able to get me to completely relax." I smirk

"Well your husband is glad he could help you relax."

"Yes but I am afraid he made me relax so much that I did not get to return the favor." I tease

With that I climb on top of him straddling, holding his face between both my hands, I lean down and claim his mouth with mine and kiss him passionately and possessively. His hands skim up my legs to my back as he holds me to him. I can feel him growing beneath me, I begin to grind against him and hear him moan into my mouth.

"Ana Baby" he rasps

We both freeze at the sound of Teddy crying.

I begin to laugh. "It looks like the young master is awake and demanding attention."

"So it would seem." Christian replies tightly but I can hear the amusement in his voice.

I lean down to kiss Christian again

"later" I whisper in his ear and climb off him to gather my son.

"Good Morning my sweet Teddy Bear." I kiss him on his forehead, and bring him to the bed, I lay him down and quickly change his diaper.

Christian shifts in the bed and leans over to kiss Teddy. He gently picks him up and leans back against the headboard.

"Good morning Son. You know you and I are going to have to chat about sharing mommy." Christian grins and I laugh as I climb back into bed with my men.

"Let me have him baby so I can feed him."

Christian hand Teddy over to me.

"I am going to go take a cold shower." he smirks at me.

I laugh as he climbs out of bed. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on the floor and saunters into the bathroom with his pajama bottoms hanging in that way and I can't help but bite my lip and allow my eyes to follow him. Damn he is so sexy!

"Teddy you do have an interesting sense of timing, I think you got it from your Aunt Mia." I say playfully to my son as he just looks at my face. One of his hands comes up and I allow him to wrap his hand around my finger.

"I just love you so much baby boy. I hope you realized just how much you are loved."

"He knows baby, even at a young age he knows how much he is loved. I mean not many babies are lucky enough to have their mother become 'momma bear' for them." Christian smirks from the doorway of the bathroom but I can hear the sadness in his voice. He makes his way to the bag and pulls out his clothes he pulls on his boxer briefs and jeans.

"Chrisitan come here."

He turns and come over to me and sits on the side of the bed.

"Baby your mother becomes 'momma bear'" I state simply

"Ana you know.."

"Yes Christian I know what you mean but listen to me. Ella is your mom, she gave you life. Grace is your mother she gave you _a_ _life._ You can't keep feeling sorry for yourself about your childhood. You were loved by both your mom and mother. It's just your mom could not help you because she could not help herself."

"I Know That! You don't think I understand that she had her own problems!" he snaps

"Don't snap at me Christian!"

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

"I am sorry baby. I just look at you with Teddy and I can see plain as day that you love him. There is no doubt what so ever that you love your son. Everyone can feel it, see it. I just feel sad that I never had that." He stated softly

"Baby you don't know what you had. You were too young. Maybe it was like this in the beginning. But you can't keep living in the unknown and those bad times. You have to live in the now. Your mother saved you, gave you a wonderful life full of love. I know you felt like you didn't deserve it but you have to realize that never stopped Grace from protecting you. She will always protect you. You are _her_ son just as much as Teddy is our son."

"I know baby I know. It just still hurts." I can hear the emotion in his voice as it cracks

I pull his lips to mine. "Christian Grey. You are loved very, very, much. You always have been you always will be. You have an amazing family that loves you so much. Teddy loves you more than you know and I love you with all my heart and I can't live without you. Please, please, know this."

He nods as the tears swell in his eyes, and mine run down my cheeks. Teddy makes a little noise; he has finished eating and is just watching the two of us.

"See your son is agreeing with me." I smile.

"Oh is he?" Christian smirks.

"Yes he is. He is telling you just how much he loves his daddy." I hand Christian his son, knowing at this moment he needs this connection to him. Christian needs to feel that bond of eternal love between him and his son.

I kiss Chrisitan on the side of his head and climb out of bed to get into the shower.

"Thank you Ana." Chrisitan says softly never taking his eyes off his son.

I take a long hot shower it gives me time to just think about what happened last night. I actually fired someone, I took control with our security and I got to beat the crap out of Elena. The thought of the bruises on her face make me smirk. I showed her not to mess with Anastasia Rose Grey! I make a note to discuss with Christian what we can do to keep her away from us.

I also think about my husband. We have never really broached the subject of his birth mom before I mean I know what happened. I get bits and pieces out of him occasionally. What I don't know is if Christian has dealt with it. I know he and Flynn have talked about it but I wonder if he has confronted her. I must ask Taylor if Christian has ever visited Detroit to visit her grave. I also want to talk to Flynn about this idea as well simply because I know this could back fire big time.

As I get out of the shower my thoughts are still with my husband. I know that his feeling of abandonment and the fear of the unknown are haunting him every day. I know that this is why he has to know where Teddy and I are at all times he needs to know we are safe, that we are not leaving. I really want to help Christian come to terms with his mom death. I know out of everyone I am the only one who can make him face it. Not Grace or Carrick, Elliot or Mia or even Flynn. It has to be me. I am the only one that can take him there. I am the only one that can push him that far. But first I need more information.

As I walk back into the bedroom. Christian and Teddy are not there. They must have gone downstairs. I dress in my jeans, and my favorite blue shirt. After quickly drying my hair I head downstairs. I find my boys in the dining room with the rest of the family.

"Good Morning Ana." Grace smiles

"Good Morning." I reply.

"How is momma bear today?" Kate grins.

I laugh. "I am good this morning. I slept well last night." I grin as I slip my arms around my husband who is sitting at the table and plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

"What would you like for breakfast Ana?" Carrick asks

"I'll just have what everyone else is having." I reply taking a seat next to Christian.

A plate of pancakes and bacon is placed in front of me.

"Mmm looks delicious." I state as I dig into my breakfast

The conversation around the breakfast table is pleasant, the boys joking with Ethan about the dance auction and Mia giggling like a fool and scolding her brothers, Kate and I laughing at them and Grace and Carrick just enjoying the fun.

After Breakfast the boys go in the TV room to watch the baseball game. Leaving us ladies on our own. Chrisitan takes Teddy, telling me he needs to teach his son all about Baseball starting young.

"Ana?" Grace says as she places her hand on my mine.

I look to her with a smile "Yes Grace?"

"Would you mind coming with me for a while? I would like to talk to you." She asks and I can see an unspoken need in her eyes.

"Of Course." I reply with a reassuring smile.

Mia and Kate are lost in their own little world of clothes and gossip; they don't even notice that Grace and I excuse ourselves.

We walk back into the library.

"Are you ok being in here Ana?" Grace asks softly

"Yes Grace I am fine. It does not bother me." I smile and I am a little amazed at how true my words actually are. Normally I would be upset being in here after what happened last night, but I think because I took control last night and did not let her win, it doesn't bother me in the slightest.

We both take a seat on the couch facing each other.

"Ana I want to tell you just how sorry I am for last night. That woman was not invited or on the guest list and I am truly sorry she got in here. I am so thankful that nothing serious happened to Teddy." I can see the sorrow in her eyes

"Grace. I grab her hand

"Last night was not your fault. It was unfortunate that she got in but with it being a masked ball it was pretty easy for her to get in un-noticed. She should have never been allowed into this room either. Security failed at that job and I made it quite clear to them last night that this would not happen again. Having said that she would not have been able to do anything to Teddy with Sasha in the room and security right outside. I too am grateful however, that nothing bad happened to him as well."

"Ana I need you to know how proud I am of you. The way you stood up for yourself, for your son and for my son. I am grateful." She states and her voice cracks slightly

I look at her confused, she missed the confrontation she only heard my re-telling.

"How do you…" I begin to ask.

"Kate told me." She says with a small smile

"Oh. No doubt she told you word for word." I respond with a small smile of my own.

"I am sorry Grace I just couldn't…."

"Stop right now Ana. Like I told you last night the only thing you have to be sorry for is not allowing me the pleasure of watching you deck her." She laughs. I giggle.

"Seriously though Ana. I am so thankful to you for saving my son. You have brought my son home and for that I am so grateful. Since you came into his life he has been happy. I know he has struggled with issues with his self-abhorrence but with you it seems he no longer has those issues. You make him feel loved which is something Carrick and I tried to everyday but we just did not know how." She breaks down

"Grace, Christian felt loved by you every day he just could not accept it. He still has trouble accepting it. Chrisitan still has a very hard time seeing _why_ everyone loves him. He doesn't understand that he is a very loveable person. He has told me on more than one occasion that he never felt worthy of your love because of his childhood. He has also told me that he can never love you enough or give you enough to repay your for saving him." I am barley containing my emotions

"Saving him?" she asks confused

"Grace, to Christian, _you _are his Angel." I smile at her.

She looks shocked at that statement

I laugh a little

"That's how he described you. He said when he first met you; you were wearing white, like and Angle. You were kind and gentle and you were the only one who did not make him feel afraid. He said that when you and Carrick brought him home. He no longer felt afraid, he knows he still had his nightmares, but he knew that you were going to protect him. He knew he would not be hungry again. He felt Safe. He wanted so much to please you. He also told me how guilty he feels for his behavior as a teenager. He hated disappointing you he just did not know how to cope. He was afraid he would lose your love if he told you everything. He is still afraid of that. He still has a hard time understanding that love is unconditional." My voice breaks and I take a deep breath to steady my tears. Grace squeezes my hand harder.

"Just this morning he was feeling sorry for himself about his birth mom. I made him hold Teddy so that he could just feel the unconditional love."

"Oh my poor son" Grace sobs

"I have only ever wanted the best for him. Even as a teenager I wanted to just hold him and tell him I loved him but he was always so closed off. Now I know he was afraid we would stop loving him. What did he think we would just toss him out without a care in the world?" She asks and I know she is not looking for an answer but I nod my head in response anyway.

"Oh well that is just ridiculous. He should have known better than that. I would not could not ever stop loving him no matter what he did he is my son!" Grace almost shouts

"Grace I know. But at the time Christian was not able to comprehend any of this, He still has a hard time. Honestly it was not until his incident with _Charlie Tango_ that he began to see just how much his family does care about him and love him. Then on his birthday, when you still came to his defense it finally sank in that your love was unconditional. He finally accepted my unconditional love after the Jack/Mia incident. The only one he accepted was Mia." I smile at Grace

"Ana you have helped him so much you are so strong and I love that you don't put up with a lot of his crap. I know he is so afraid of losing you and now Teddy. I will never forget his face in the hospital when you would not wake up after the kidnapping. It killed me to see him like that. When he sees you his eyes light up. He looks at you as if you are his reason for living and breathing." She smiles at me and I blush

"It's the same for me too Grace. Christian is my reason for living and breathing I don't think I could survive without him. Now we have added Teddy to our family it just makes that feeling stronger. Those two Grey men are my world."

"I know darling. I can see the bond you have with my son. I know he can be overbearing and controlling, but thank you for standing up for him with that woman. I know he feels that he does not need someone to take care of him, that he can handle himself which in most cases he can and I don't question that. I have just always wanted for him what Carrick and I have. A partnership, we can count on each other no matter what and we know that we will come to each other's rescue if needed. That's all I want for each of my children, Christian especially because he never really had that protection before us. It's nice to see."

Tears are still falling down my cheeks.

"I won't let her get him again. Or anyone for that matter. I will protect him. I will fight anyone for him. I will always stand up for him. I will always stand with him. I need him. I love him so much Grace."

"I know my darling girl I know." Grace folds me into an embrace.

We both sit in the comfort of each other's embrace for several minutes.

"Grace I need to ask you something."

"What is it sweetie?" she asks we break our embrace.

"Do you know if Christian has ever visited Detroit? Has he ever been to her gravesite? I assume she has one but I don't know."

Grace stiffens a little and takes a deep breath I can see the sadness creep into her eyes.

"Yes, Ella, her name is Ella. She has a gravesite. Carrick and I paid for it. We felt it was right for her to have one for Christian's sake as well. He has only been there once to my knowledge and it was such a long time ago. I am not even sure he remembers."

The Tears that have swelled in her eyes begin to fall. I squeeze her hand. She takes another deep breath to calm herself she continues.

"Carrick and I took Christian there when he came to live with us. I knew he understood everything that I was telling him. I remember I was on my knees eye level with him as he looked at me with slight confusion as to where we were. I explained to him that his mommy had been really sick and that she fell asleep and was never going to wake up. I told my son that his mommy had died. I told him that she loved him and was in heaven watching down on him, protecting him because she was an angel now." Grace begins to sob

"He looked so hurt Ana. Even at that young age he knew what I was saying. He began to cry and walked over to her stone. He had taken a rock and threw it at the stone he screamed and cried and kicked the stone over and over again. Carrick and I could do nothing to comfort him. To see him hurting so much broke my heart. I wanted so much to just protect him from ever feeling like that again. He finally settled down enough. When I went back to sit next to him, I told him that I would never replace his mommy but that I wanted to be another mommy to him and that Carrick wanted to be his daddy. I promised him that I would protect him and never let anything hurt him again. I would love him forever." Grace breaks down.

I wrap her in my arms.

"Grace you do know that you are the only one that Christian claims as his mother right? He knows that his birthmother did nothing for him and that you are the one that saved his life. He told me the first time he showed me his boat and her name, I quote, 'I adore my mom, Anastasia, Grace Trevelyan-Grey saved my life. I owe her everything.' He loves you so much Grace and has always wanted to make you proud. You raised quite an amazing son."

Grace smiles through her tears.

"I am going to talk to Taylor and Flynn I really think that Christian needs to visit her gravesite again and 'talk' to her. He needs to let that part of his past go. I really think he needs it to move on so he can finally accept that he is an amazing father to Teddy. I already know that this is going to be a fight and he is going to freak and get very upset and this whole thing is going to be emotional. He does not like to talk about her but I know he needs this, _we_ need this."

"You are right Ana, he does need this for all of you. He needs to let it all go. You are also correct he is very stubborn and this will not happen without a fight and a lot of pushing. Are you sure you are ready for this?"

"Yes Grace I am sure, but that is also why I want to talk to Flynn; I am going to need his help in supporting Christian in this whole situation."

Grace nods and smiles

"You are so good for him Ana." She stated simply as her smile gets bigger

I smile in return.

"Grace let's keep this conversation between us. I am not sure how Christian would feel if he knew we were talking about him."

"I agree. This will stay between us." She winks.

We both rise and embrace in another hug reassuring both of us, then make our way back out to the rest of the family. Everyone has migrated to the living room and the conversation is lively talking about everything and nothing. I go and settle on the couch next to Christian. He kisses my head as I curl into him.

"Everything ok?" he asks

"Yes everything is fine just needed to have a chat with your mother that's all."

"About what?"

"Last night" I feel him stiffen slightly "It's no big deal just needed to talk."

He nods his head, relaxing again and not pressing me for more, which I know he will later and I have no problem telling him just right now neither one of us want to ruin this good mood with our family.

Christian clearly enjoying the time with his family invites everyone for a spur of the moment outing on _The Grace_ this afternoon. We all think it's a wonderful idea. We decide to meet at the docks in about an hour giving everyone enough time to go home and change. Grace tells us she will prepare a lunch with the leftovers from the party last night. With that we all leave to get ready and I can see Christian, my happy, carefree, loving, boyish Christian, and I smile.


	12. A Day to Plan

**A/N: Once again I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get this updated. I hate when real life gets in the way. I have several ideas swirling around in my head and I am trying to get them all down before I forget, I know at the moment there are a few storylines open but I promise they will all come together soon. I am working on the next chapter and so I hope to have that up tomorrow. The next few will be short but good. **

**This one is not super exciting but it is needed to set up the next few. Enjoy and thanks again for following my story and reviewing. I love ya!**

It's been almost over a week since I went 'Momma Bear' on the bitch troll. I can't help but giggle at that new nick name Kate bestowed upon me. Christian had Elena served with a restraining order which forbids her to be anywhere close to any member of our family. I am not if that will do the trick, but we have not heard anything from her since the 'incident' Carrick is looking into other options as well and Christian has been much more forthcoming with information regarding her. I can't help but smile knowing I proved myself to the bitch troll _and _to Christian, he knows now I can handle things just fine.

Christian's birthday is on Monday, which is only 3 days away and, I struggled with what to get Christian, the man has everything! I have Teddy's present for Christian all done, it's a copy of the picture of Christian and Teddy at the benefit last week where they are both dressed alike in matching tuxes. I had it framed with the saying 'Like father, Like son' written on the top and along the bottom it says 'I love you. Thank you for being my Daddy, Love Teddy'. I also have the picture that was taken of the entire family Greys and Kavanaghs; I put that one in a frame that says 'Family is Forever'. I know the gifts are simple but I really hope Christian likes them. Since Christians birthday is on Monday, I have decided that this entire weekend would be his birthday weekend I have planned a surprise party at the club for Saturday night with his family and some of his friends, Ros & Gwen, Flynn & Rhian, Mac, Claude, even Gail, Taylor, Sawyer and Ryan will be there _off duty_. I have it all planned with Kate and Elliott who are coming to pick up Teddy in the morning and keep him for the day. Christian I will be spending the day on The Grace, and then he thinks that we are going for a quiet dinner just the two of us. I had Mia call Christian and tell him that she was planning a BBQ on Sunday afternoon with the whole family to throw him off. I have made arrangements to go to Aspen on Sunday morning, we will come home Monday evening, no way am I letting Christian actually work on his birthday.

I made and appointment with Dr. Greene, last week for today to make sure everything is OK. Really I am going to see her to find out if we would be ok getting off 'suspension' a little early. Technically we are not finished until Monday, but I mean what's 3 days right? I am hoping she will tell me that it is ok to have sex again. If I get the answers I want then I can begin Christians Birthday Celebration early tomorrow with lunch at Escala, and I can call Andrea to clear his schedule.

I am getting ready to go, Christian does not know about the doctor's appointment, he thinks I am just meeting Kate for lunch, which I am, both Taylor and Sawyer know not to say a word, that it's all part of the surprise. I make my way downstairs with Teddy in my arms and the Diaper bag and my purse over my shoulder. Sawyer takes the bags from me and informs me that Ryan has the car waiting out front.

"Gail, I am off and I won't be back until later this afternoon."

"Enjoy yourself Ana, and I will see you when you return." Gail relies with a smile.

Walk out and climb into the back seat with Teddy and strap him in tightly, he just watches me and checks out his surroundings. Once I am in Sawyer closes the door and climbs in the front passenger seat. We have yet to hire another security guard. I am very reluctant about the idea and I have insisted that before anyone else is hired I want to interview them as well. It's not that I don't trust Taylor, I do no doubt! I trust him with my husband's life, but we are however dealing with my son and I don't want another fuck up like before. Christian was not pleased with this idea but I stood firm and once he saw my point he agreed that he and I but mostly, I would have final say as to who else is protecting my son.

"Ok good to go Sawyer." I state as I buckle my seatbelt and settle into the back seat.

Ryan heads out of the gate and we are on our way to D. Greene's office.

"Sawyer."

"Ma'am?"

"Christian is still unaware of my Dr.'s appointment correct."

"Yes Ma'am Mr. Grey is unaware; I believe Taylor told him you would be doing a little shopping before your lunch with Katherine."

"Perfect. Thank you Sawyer."

He nods and turns back to the front window.

Sawyer escorts us into Dr. Greene office while Ryan parks the car. Sawyer stands by the door and Ryan stays with the car. The nurse comes out and calls my name, she escorts me back to an exam room; Teddy is in his car seat cooing to himself.

"Hi Ana." Dr. Greene smiles as she comes in.

"Hi Dr. Greene"

"Aww you brought Theodore with you, he is getting so big Ana, and he looks just like his Daddy."

"Yes he is getting big, I just can't believe how much I love him, and yes he looks just like Christian which, is not going to do well for me when he gets older and becomes interested in girls." I reply laughing, Dr. Greene laughs too.

"So what is this appointment for Ana, I wasn't expecting you until early next week."

"Well Dr. Greene, I just want to make sure I have healed properly and well to be honest….I…um…I…was…um…"

"Ana is everything ok? Are you having any pain or problems?" Dr. Greene ask sternly

"Oh no nothing like that, I feel great no problems of any kind."

"Ok well what is it then?"

"Sex." I state as my cheeks turn bright red. Dr. Green just smiles.

"You see we have been creative like you suggested and I know officially our 6 weeks are up on Monday but Christians birthday is this weekend and I was hoping we could…you know…celebrate properly." My eyes rise cautiously to Dr. Greene's amused look.

"Ah I see, well the 6 weeks is not an exact science, most woman wait longer because they just aren't ready. I don't want you to be pressured into anything you're not ready for."

"No Dr. Green there is not pressure at all, believe me, Christian is good at following rules where I am concerned he won't even consider sex as an option until Monday, and even then he will want me to see you first for the all clear. This is my idea Christian does not know I am here. I want this to be part of his birthday present, trust me the last 6 weeks have been just a tough for me as it has been for him."

"Ok well then let's get you checked out. If you would please remove your skirt and panties and lie down on the table we will get started."

I do as she asks as she prepares the ultrasound machine, and places a condom on the wand.

"Take a deep breath and relax Ana." Dr. Greene begins her exam

"Ok Ana we are done go ahead and get dressed."

I do quickly. "So Dr. Greene is everything ok?"

"Well it looks like everything is fine Ana. You have healed quite nicely. I don't see any problems with you resuming your normal sex life, as long as you promise to come in and see me if anything becomes uncomfortable."

I can't help the grin on my face it's going to be difficult to not pounce on my husband as soon as he walks in the door tonight, but knowing how surprised he will be tomorrow makes it all worth it.

"Thank you Dr. Greene. I promise if anything hurts or becomes uncomfortable I will come in right away. I was wondering can I get this in writing?" I laugh "Chrisitan is going to have to have a Dr. Note before he feels better." The smile still evident on my face and Dr. Greene chuckles softly.

"Yes I think I can do that for you. From my experience with your husband he just wants to make sure you are safe."

"Yes he does." I smile and stand up and shake her hand and gather up my son. She hands me a note and follows me out of the room. I head back out to the waiting room. Sawyer stands to attention and returns my smile.

"Ryan, bring the car around.

"Ana" he nods and follows me out to car.

"By that smile and the look on your face I take it your appointment went well?" Sawyer asks as we wait for Ryan to pull up.

"Yes Luke it went very well and as soon as I put in a call to Andrea we can make the arrangements we discussed for tomorrow." I grin

I climb into the back seat with Teddy and get him settled again. We are off to meet Kate at the club, which is perfect so I can make sure things are finalized for Saturday night. I grab my phone and E-mail Christian

_**From:**__ Anastasia Grey _

_**Subject: **__Lunch_

_**Date:**__ June 14th 2012 11:31_

_**To:**__ Christian Grey_

_Hi Daddy, I just wanted to let you know that Mommy and I are on our way to meet Auntie Kate for lunch and maybe do a little more shopping afterwards, Mommy says she still needs to find the perfect birthday present for you. Mommy also says not to worry that Sawyer and Ryan are with us and will follow us while we are shopping. Hope you are having a good day at work Daddy and I can't wait to snuggle with you when you get home. Love you Daddy. _

_Love Teddy Bear (and Mommy)_

_Future CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc._

I smile as I hit send, knowing the email from 'Teddy' will make Christian smile. Next I dial the main number for Christians office. Andrea answers

"Grey House this is Andrea how may I help you?"

"Hi Andrea its Mrs. Grey."

"Hello Mrs. Grey, how are you doing today?"

"I am well thank you Andrea, hope you are as well?"

"Yes ma'am, would you like me to put you through to Mr. Grey?"

"No Andrea actually I would appreciate you not telling him I called, I actually need to know what Christians day looks like tomorrow."

"Well Mr. Grey has a meeting at 10am and then he has another at 11:30a.m he has a break from 12:30p.m. to 2p.m. then has a meeting at 2:15p.m with his department heads."

"Andrea how important is the department head meeting?"

"It's a monthly meeting Mr. Grey has to make sure everything is progressing properly."

"So it can be re-scheduled then."

"Umm, yes I guess it could but I don't feel comfortable doing what without discussing it with Mr. Grey first."

"I understand Andrea, however I can assure you that Mr. Grey won't mind just don't tell him that you have rescheduled it. Let him think he still has the meeting and inform the department heads to do the same just in case he runs into any of them before the meeting. I have plans for Mr. Grey tomorrow afternoon, but they are a surprise. I promise Andrea you won't get into any trouble."

"Well…I….errr…"

"Andrea, trust me once Chrisitan figures out his surprise he will tell you to reschedule the meeting himself, I am just giving you some more notice to the department heads are not blindsided."

"Well if you are sure Mrs. Grey, I will reschedule."

"I am sure. Thanks Andrea and have a great day."

"Thank you Mrs. Grey Good-Bye"

"Good-Bye Andrea."

I smile as I hang up the phone and I catch Sawyers grin.

"What?" I ask innocently

"You have become quite authoritative lately and I must say Ana, I am impressed."

"Thank you Sawyer, I think my husband is rubbing off on me." I reply with a grin of my own.

My phone pings

_**From:**__ Christian Grey _

_**Subject: **__Lunch_

_**Date:**__ June 14th 2012 11:45_

_**To:**__ Anastasia Grey_

_My sweet Teddy Bear,_

_My day at work just got much better. Thank you for reminding me about your lunch date with Auntie Kate. I do hope you and Mommy have a good time. I am glad that Sawyer and Ryan are with you to keep you both safe. Please tell Mommy that she does not need to find me the perfect birthday present, you and mommy are the only present I will ever need. I love you both so much. None the less I know how stubborn your Mommy can be so I do hope you enjoy more shopping and please be good for Mommy. I can't wait for my cuddles with you when I get home. I love you Teddy Bear (I Love you to Ana) more then you both know. I will see you when I get home. _

_Love always_

_Daddy (Christian)_

_Luckiest Man in the World, __CEO Grey Enterprises Holdings, Inc._

My husband is so sweet and so good to us, I don't know if I can possibly love him anymore but I do, more and more every day.

"Ana?!" Sawyer's voice snaps me back to reality

"Huh? What?"

Sawyer chuckles. "You've got it bad Ana." He grins

I laugh. "Yes I would say I do."

"We are at the club ma'am"

"Oh wonderful thank you." I grab my purse and unlock Teddy's car seat from the base, I take Teddy out of the seat, I'd much rather carry him without the car seat. I climb out of the back of the car. Sawyer has the diaper bag already in his hand and grabs the car seat, to bring in for me. We make our way into the club while, Ryan goes to park the car. I am greeted right away by the hostess.

"Mrs. Grey how lovely to see you. Your table is ready right this way." She says with a smile

Once I am settled at the table I ask the host to inform Joseph that I am here and would like to finalized plans for Saturday. She nods with a smile. Over her shoulder I see another hostess escorting Kate over. I stand up still holding Teddy and hug Kate.

"Ana you look great!" She smiles

"Thanks Kate, I have been doing some light workout sessions with Claude to get back into shape. You look good too I love that top!"

"Thanks! Can I hold my nephew now please." She asks in her way that is more like a demand.

I laugh and hand him over. Kate Settles into the back of the booth with Teddy in her arms

"Hello Teddy, how are you today?" Kate asks and continues to talk to her nephew when the water come over to take out drink order.

"Water and Iced Tea for me please."

"Same" Kate replies

"Anything to start?" the waiter asks

"I'll have a garden salad please. Kate?"

"Mm that sounds good I'll have one as well and I'd like a Turkey Club on wheat bread please."

I can't help but laugh as Kate and I lock eyes.

"We will make this easy for you and I'll have the same please." I smile up at the waiter who smiles back and leaves to place our order.

"So Kate how are you? How is work going?"

"Work is work, nothing super exciting or anything. How about you are you going back to work anytime soon?"

"I am not sure, I have been working a little from home, I think I will start going back for half days, I really can't stand to leave Teddy right now."

"That's understandable, at least you do have the option to stay home longer not many mothers have that choice."

"Agreed. I really am lucky."

"Hello Mrs. Grey, I don't mean to interrupt."

"Hello Joseph you are not interrupting, I am glad they notified you that I was here. I would like to finalize things for Saturday."

"Yes Ma'am of course I have the plans right here with me." He pulls up a chair.

"Excellent." I grin as I glance at Kate who is smirking at me.

"Have you given anymore thought as to the menu for the evening?"

"Yes I have. I would like Risotto Pasta, with Breaded Parmesan Chicken. I'd like a mixed green salad available with assorted toppings and dressings. I'd also like fresh fruit, and cheeses available to munch on while people are mingling before dinner. I would like the Sancerre served and the 2002 Cristal available for a toast."

"Yes Ma'am that sounds excellent what about dessert?"

"For Dessert we will be having Chocolate Cake however the cake will be made by Mia Grey and brought to you that afternoon." I say with a smile.

"Sounds great Mrs. Grey I will notify the staff and take care of it all."

"Thank you Joseph oh and here put everything on this card please."

"Mrs. Grey you are aware that your husband has an account here correct we can just bill that."

"Yes Joseph I am aware of that, our lunch today will be charged to that account but seeing as how this a surprise party for my husband's birthday I would prefer to pay for it myself and not use my husband's account." I inform him politely as I hand over the debit card for my personal account.

"Of Course." He replies with a smile as he takes my card.

"I will put this into our system and bring it back."

"Thank you." I smile in return. Joseph walks away.

"Well Mrs. Grey I have to say I am impressed, very assertive." Kate grins at me

"Yes well I must say I have gotten much better at stating what I want and usually getting my way, the name 'Grey' goes a long way." I giggle

Our food begins to arrive and Kate and I just chat and laugh all through lunch. I really miss this time with Kate we really need to do this more often!

"Kate what do you have planned for the rest of the afternoon?"

"Nothing really why what's up?"

"Well I was wondering if you wanted to go shopping with me?"

"You know I am always up for a shopping trip what are we looking for?"

"Well I went and saw Dr. Green today before lunch and she said Christian and I could officially be off suspension so I need to find some sexy lingerie for tomorrow and this weekend and I don't really think I should be asking Sawyers opinion." I giggle and Kate starts to laugh

"No I don't think Mr. Control Freak would be ok with that either." She laughs

"Well let's go find you some sexy lingerie that your husband is going to want to rip off you!"

We both laugh and make our way out of the club and to the car.


	13. Happy Birthday Mr Grey

**A/N: WARNING this chapter has sex scenes and a lot of them. Skip if you don't want to read them. This chapter is about Ana and Christian reconnecting in that way we all love. Also this is my first attempt at writing from Christian's POV so I hope I have done him justice. The next chapter will be about his surprise party and such. I know that I have a few open story lines and I promise they will all make sense in a few chapters but for now enjoy the fun they will be having. Enjoy and once again, Thanks for following my story. I love the reviews and do try to reply to them. I love ya all!**

I wake up with a smile on my face. Today is going to be a great day, I am so excited. My husband has no idea what I have planned today. Before he got home last night I set my plan into action:

_I placed the note from Dr. Greene in an envelope and wrote on the front 'open first'_

_Next I wrote out a letter:_

_**My Dearest husband, **_

_**I know your birthday is not until Monday but I could not wait that long. The last six weeks have been rough on me as well as you and while we were creative, it wasn't enough and I want more, I ache to feel your body pressed tight against mine, I long to feel your hands mapping their territory and your lips claiming what is yours. Christian, my love I need you inside me, just as much as you need to be there. I need you baby please don't make me wait too long.**_

_**Yours always **_

_**Ana X**_

_I placed the letter in an envelope and wrote on the front 'open second'_

_The final envelope I placed the picture of me in one of the nighties that Kate and I picked out and with a little sticky note that says "meet me at Escala now!" On the front I wrote "open last and don't worry Kate took it"_

_I placed all three envelopes in a small manila envelope and wrote Christians name on it. While Christian was having his snuggle time with Teddy I went to find Taylor. _

"_Mrs. Grey." Taylor stands to attention and I laugh a little_

"_Relax Taylor." I say with a smile as I move to sit in front of his desk. Taylor sits down._

"_As you are aware I went to the doctor today, and I got the answers I wanted so we are going ahead with my plan for tomorrow. I assume preparations have been made?"_

"_Yes ma'am we have done a security sweep of Escala, and I have posted a guard there all night and tomorrow morning."_

"_Perfect and Ryan is aware he will accompany Teddy and Grace tomorrow correct?"_

"_Yes ma'am"_

"_Wonderful, then the last thing I need you to do is place this envelope in Christian's office so it is waiting for him when he is done with his 11:30a.m. meeting. I should warn you Taylor, you will want to have the car waiting for him because it won't be long after he reads what's in here that he will be leaving the building quickly!" I giggle_

"_Yes ma'am I am sure he will. Anything to do with you usually puts him in quite a hurry." Taylor gives me a smile. _

"_Right then, we will arrive at Escala at 11:30a.m."_

"_Sounds like a plan Mrs. Grey."_

"_Thank you Taylor, enjoy the rest of you evening." I say with a smile as I get up and leave his office. _

My smile gets wider as I think about today and the look on my husband's face. I roll over and just look at him for a few minutes. He looks so peaceful. I sigh as I lean over and kiss his cheek. He stirs awake and gives me an answering grin.

"Good morning baby."

"Good morning love."

"Christian wraps his arms around me and kisses me softly

"Four more days Mrs. Grey, Have you made your appointment with Dr. Greene for Monday?"

"Yes I have it's at 12:30p.m then I am meeting Mia for lunch at the club." I tell him, I hope he can't tell that I am lying through my teeth at the moment, but because it's early I don't think he notices.

"mmm" he nuzzles my hair. "That is going to be the best birthday present ever."

I kiss Christian again "Time to get up Mr. Grey. You have to go to work and I have to tend to the young master."

"Hmmm I think when the young master no longer requires your personal services I am going to keep you in this bed for an entire weekend." He states huskily in my ear and with that promise every muscle south clenches and it takes all the strength I have to not jump him right now. _Patience Ana just a couple more hours_.

"I think I will hold you to that Mr. Grey but for now I must go feed your son and you need to shower." I say with a smile as I lean over and kiss him again then climb out of bed.

I hear Christian groan as he climbs out of bed and I smirk to myself as I make my way into the nursery to feed my son.

"Good morning sweet Teddy. I hope you had good dreams last night." I plant a gentle kiss on Teddy's head as I carry him over to the changing table. After changing his diaper and getting him dressed we settle into the overstuffed gliding rocker to nurse.

Just as we are finishing up, Christian walks in and he looks good enough to eat in his grey suit, white shirt and _that_ silver tie. He saunters in and smirks at me he knows that I know he is wearing that tie on purpose to tease me. Little does he know…I smirk back.

"How is the other half of my world doing this morning?" Christian asks as he walks over and takes Teddy from my arms and cuddles him close.

Teddy just coos in Christian's arms, he loves when his Daddy holds him. I sit and watch my boys for a few minutes before I quietly leave the room giving Christian some time alone with his son. I make my way back to our room so I can pump, and shower.

After my shower I throw on a skirt, and loose flowing top with sandals. I also pack my little bag with the sexy lingerie a couple extra pairs of panties _just in case_ I no longer need to pack _the tie_ because my husband decided to wear it today.

I leave the bag in my closet and make my way down stairs; Christian is finishing his breakfast with Teddy still in his arms.

"What a wonderful sight." I grin as I walk over and wrap my arms around Christian's shoulders and plant a kiss on his cheek and bit his ear softly.

"Ana." Christian groans. "I don't know if I can make it until Monday."

I giggle. "It's only Monday if Dr. Greene gives the ok."

"Well she had better say everything is perfect or we are going for a second opinion."

I laugh not only because I know Christian is not joking, but because of my little secret as well.

"I am sure everything will be just fine baby, I feel great and have not had any problems." I kiss him again and sit down to eat my granola, yogurt and fruit.

"Well my Son I have to go to work. Enjoy your lunch with Grandma Grace today." He kisses Teddy and places him in his bouncy seat on the counter.

I turn in the stool to face him. Christian leans down and kisses my lips which starts out softly but quickly becomes possessive and full of passion. I cling to his neck as his tongue invades my mouth. He breaks away reluctantly

"I think we need to be creative tonight baby." He says breathlessly as he rests his forehead against mine.

"I agree baby." I respond trying to bring my breathing under control.

Christian breaks our grip. "I have to go to work now baby, I will see you tonight. Enjoy lunch with my mom."

"I will Love, I will see you tonight. Have fun in the world of M&A." I call out as Christian and Taylor walk out the door.

As soon as Christian is out the door I grab my phone and call Grace to let her know Christian has left for the office and that I will meet her at Escala so she can pick up Teddy. Next I call the florist to make sure my order of red rose petals is ready to be picked up. Mrs. Jones places the bottle of champagne on the counter that I asked her to pick up for me.

"Sawyer!" I call out knowing he is in Taylor's office around the corner.

"Ma'am" he states as he steps into the room,

"I will be ready to leave in 20 minutes. We need to stop at the florist and make a pick up and Grace will meet us at Escala at 11: 30a.m. to pick up Teddy. Please tell Ryan to be ready to go. I am going to make sure I have Teddy's things packed."

"Yes ma'am we will be ready."

"Thank you Sawyer."

"Ana, can I watch Teddy while you gather your things?" Gail asks with a smile.

"Of course Mrs. Jones, Thank you so much."

I run upstairs and gather Teddy's things, and then grab my small bag from my closet. I leave the bags by the door and grab the small cooler and place 4 of the frozen breast milks I have stockpiled and the ice packs inside. I Grab the champagne and place that in my bag and place the cooler by the door.

"Ok I think I have everything." I state half to myself I think I am actually getting nervous.

"I feel Gail's hand cover mine.

"Ana relax. Whatever you don't have won't matter, Mr. Grey is just going to be happy to have some alone time with you." She grins mischievously.

It really is no secret what I have planned and oddly enough I don't feel embarrassed that they know.

"Thanks Mrs. Jones I think I am just anxious."

"Don't be Ana just enjoy your afternoon."

"Oh I am sure that won't be a problem" I answer with a wicked grin.

Mrs. Jones just chuckles as she hands Teddy over.

"I am not sure how late we will be I suspect we might get talked into dinner at Grace and Carrick's but I will inform you of our plans as I know them."

"Sounds Good Ana, now get going so you have plenty of time."

I smile back at Gail and turn towards to door; Sawyer and Ryan have already loaded the car. I walk outside with Teddy and climb into the back seat, getting Teddy firmly secured in his car seat. Once we are all in Sawyer makes his way into town first stop the florist shop.

"Ryan."

"Ma'am" he turns slightly in his seat.

"You contact me though Sawyer or Taylor if there are any problems today. I don't expect any but that is beside the point. I have full faith in Grace, but please keep an eye on both of them."

"Yes Mrs. Grey. Don't worry. We will be fine." He says reassuringly.

I smile and nod my head.

We pull up at the flower shop and Ryan jumps out to grab my order, luckily they allowed me to pay by credit card over the phone. He places the box in the back of the car and we make our way to Escala.

We arrive shortly and Sawyer escorts me and Teddy up to the apartment, I excuse myself into my bedroom and feed my son while Sawyer and Ryan bring the bags up. I get Teddy fed and changed and walk back out into the living room just in time for Grace to come up.

"Hi Ana, sweetie. How are you today?" She asks as she wraps me and Teddy up in a hug.

"I am great Grace. How are you?"

"I am wonderful. I am so excited to have my grandson this afternoon." She smiles widely.

"Thank you so much for taking Teddy today I really appreciate it."

"Any time Ana. I love spending time with him."

"He loves spending time with you as well. I am sure he will have a great time with you and his Auntie Mia."

Grace laughs. "Yes I am sure he will."

"Ok, so I just fed and changed him. He should be ready for a nap here soon. He will probably want to eat again around 2:30 or 3 then again around 6 or 6:30. If he does get fussy I feed him a little. His milk is here in the cooler, there are plenty of diapers in the bag as well as a couple extra outfits, just in case. If you have any problems at all just call me or let Ryan know and he can get ahold of us."

"You know this isn't my first time doing this." Grace tease and smiles

"I know Grace I am just nervous, not that I don't trust you I do completely I have just never left Teddy alone for this long before and I think I am getting nervous about this afternoon."

"Don't worry I am sure you both will enjoy yourselves." She grins and gives me a wink.

"Ok so we should get going."

I nod my head and hand Teddy over to her. "Be good my sweet boy. I love you."

Ryan stands by the door with the diaper bag, cooler and car seat. Once the door closes I grab my bag and take it into the bedroom, I pull the champagne out and place it in the fridge. Sawyer comes out from the security office.

"Everything looks clear ma'am. I will be in the office if you need anything just yell otherwise I will remain in there until you and Mr. Grey are ready to leave."

"Thank you Sawyer. I appreciate it."

"Ma'am" he nods and disappears back into the office.

It is 12:00p.m. now and I know I should expect Christian in about an 45 minutes. I grab the box of rose petals and starting at the elevator doors I begin to make a path through the foyer doors, through the living room leading to the door of our bed room I then place rose petals all around the floor and a few on the bed.

Next I go into the bathroom washing my face, brushing my teeth, and re-applying my makeup. I also put some soft curls in my hair. Next I pull out the baby doll lingerie that I am wearing in the picture. It is a dark blue lace that covers my breasts and ties just below them the front is open and flows with a see-through fabric and shows my stomach the fabric ends just at my thighs and has matching panties. Christian should be here any minute now, I sit on the edge of the bed and wait for my husband, as soon as I hear him I stand up….Show time.

**Christians POV:**

I am really anxious when I get out of my meeting; the meeting went well, that's not what is frustrating. I don't know if I can last the next four days. I need to possess Ana in every way. This morning proves that we need each other and that the next four days are going to be agony. Since I have some time before my department head meeting I just might call and see if I can get a work out in with Claude, to release some of this frustration, tension and energy. I walk back into my office and sit at my desk grab my phone to call Claude when a manila envelope catches my eye. It has my name on it written in Ana's hand writing. I put my phone down and open the envelope inside are 3 more envelopes they all are numbered

I open the first one and it's a note from Dr. Greene. Saying 'good to go.'

"OK. What the hell does that mean?" I say out loud with confusion.

I open the next envelope and it's a letter from Ana, as I begin to read it I take a sharp breath.

_My hands mapping her body…..lips claiming her….possessing her completely…..bodies pressed tight…love….need…..want….more….aching.…mine…._

I feel myself growing hard just thinking about her and what she has said. I have to take a deep controlling breath as I open the last envelope which on the front she said not to worry Kate took it…..Kate took what?

Inside the last envelope is a sexy seductive picture of my wife with barely anything on biting her bottom lip with a note telling me to meet her at Escala now! Yep that did it now I am completely hard. My mind is quick to realize what all 3 envelopes imply, I have to get the hell out of here and to my wife like NOW!

I grab my phone and rush out of my office.

"TAYLOR!" I shout

"Sir." he comes from around the corner

"Car. Downstairs. Now."

"It's already waiting for you sir." He says with a smirk if I am not mistaken but I don't care I have no other thoughts in my head.

"Andrea, clear my schedule for the rest of the day and reschedule my meetings. I don't care what you have to tell them."

"Yes sir." Is she smirking at me too? Oh who the hell fucking cares. I am holding a picture of my wife almost completely naked, who has told me in a letter she _needs_ me inside her. I can't seem to get out of this building fast enough. I press the button for the elevator but its taking forever.

"Taylor. Stairs."

I rush over to the stairs and practically fly down them, Taylor not far behind me. I reach the bottom and jump in the back seat as Taylor runs around to the front.

"Escala. Quickly."

"Sir." Taylor replies and pulls out into traffic.

We pull up to Escala in record time 10 minutes I think but it felt like hours. I am out of the car I think before Taylor even stops completely and I race inside. I am lucky that the Elevator door is open as I rush inside and punch the code for our apartment. I have had sexy thoughts racing through my head for the last 20 minutes and I am so aroused already. God I hope this isn't some cruel joke. The elevator finally opens and I gasp again when I see the rose petals in the foyer. I follow them inside and see the path they make I follow the path as they lead to our bedroom. I open the door and freeze inhaling sharply, I become even more aroused, if that's even possible, there stands my beautiful, sexy wife, in her sexy little lingerie with a wicked smile on her face. My eyes devouring her.

"Happy Birthday Baby" she says.

I take 2 steps, I grab her and press her body to mine tightly and her arms clasp around my neck and my lips instantly find hers I kiss her deeply, possessively with all the passion I am feeling for her and I feel her body melt into mine as she moans into my mouth. This is going to be a great afternoon.

**Ana's POV:**

The door opens and Christian freezes just inside. I am standing by the bed with a wide grin on my face. Christian's eyes are glued to my body and he looks as though he is devouring me with his gaze.

"Happy Birthday Baby" I say.

He reaches me in 2 strides. His arms instantly around my body pressing me tightly to him, my arms around his neck and his lips find mine. The kiss is so deep, possessive and passionate my body melts into his, I feel moisture pooling between my legs. I moan into his mouth. Christian is the first to break the kiss and we are forehead to forehead.

"I see you got my envelopes." I say breathlessly

"Yes baby, I got them. Please tell me this is for real because I don't think I can handle it if it's not."

"Yes baby, its real, I got the all clear from Dr. Greene yesterday."

Christian lets out a deep breath.

"Christian?"

"yeah baby?"

"Make love to me please."

"Oh baby my pleasure" he groans

He kisses me again, grabs my ass and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around his waist, I can feel him hard against me and I become more wet, god I need this man, he walks over to bed lowering us both down, my legs still wrapped around him holding him tightly to me. His mouth moves from my lips down my cheek to my neck; he nips sucks and licks down my neck across my collarbone and across the tops of my breasts. I loosen my legs as Christian moves to straddle me. He leans down to kiss me again; he places a hand over each of mine, and slowly glides them up my arms across my shoulders and up my neck finally cupping my face. His tongue thrusting in and out of my mouth and my hips grind up against him. He begins to move his hands back down my neck down my chest across my breasts and he cups them softly. He trails his lips down my neck and follows the path his hands just left. His hands stay on my breasts and massage them gently. He kisses down and across my stomach leaving no spot untouched his hands begin to move down slowly as well, possessing me setting every inch of my body on fire.

He continues his way down slowly and trails kisses along the top of my panties he runs his nose along them as well, and inhales deeply.

"God Ana you smell amazing"

I whimper in response.

He begins his kisses again down my right leg his hands following his lips all the way down to my toes. He kisses and gently sucks each toe which solicits a moan from my throat. He moves to my left foot and repeats the process working his way up slowly he makes his way back to the apex of my thighs and I feel his hot breath on me, his hands firmly on my hips he kisses me through the fabric of my panties. He moves the fabric aside and I feel his breath again then his tongue slowly slips inside me.

"Christian" I gasp

His tongue continues its assault slow but firm in and out then he is circling my clit, he pulls the small bundle of nerved between his lips and sucks, which releases a deep guttural moan from my throat. My body writhes beneath him and I try to buck my hips up but his hands keep me firmly on the bed. His tongue stops and I cry out from need. He begins kissing his way back up my body until he is straddling me again my breathing slowing to normal again. His hands are caressing my sides and moving slowly up and across my stomach again until he reaches the ribbon just below my breasts he pulls it softly allowing my nightie to fall open revealing my breasts to his hungry gaze.

"I think this is the best present I have ever opened." Christian grins.

I giggle.

"Mmmm I love that sound."

Christian caresses my breast softly as he slides the material off my body I sit up allowing him to slip it off completely. My lips find his again I begin to undo his tie and toss it to the side. I start to undo the buttons on his shirt but it's taking too long so I just rip it open, buttons flying everywhere, and I run my hands across his chest, Christian moans as I work my hands down his chest, across his stomach to his pants and undo the button and zipper. My lips leave a trail down his neck, across his shoulders, across his chest as I slip my hand in his boxer-briefs and grab him.

"God Ana" he growls

He pushes me back down onto the bed and trails kisses down the other side of my neck and back down to my breast he takes on in his mouth and sucks as his hand squeezes and rolls my other nipple.

"Christian!" I gasp as my back arches he changes sides with his mouth and allows his hand to trail down my stomach slowly, softly, until he reaches my panties. His hand slowly slips inside and I can't help the deep moan from escaping my lips as he cups my sex. His fingers begin to slide up and down my folds softly spreading the moisture all over he finds my clit again and begin to rub gently.

"Baby please" I whimper and push my hips up.

"I need to get you close baby, I won't be able to hold on long once I am buried inside you. I need you so bad Ana." His fingers increase in pressure and my body is writhing beneath his touch.

I grab his face and pull his eyes to mine

"Christian please, I don't care. I need you baby please I need you inside me now." I cry out as his hands continue their magic.

Christian stands and removes his boxers and then slides my panties off he lays back down his body covering mine, pressing us together, my legs wrapped again around his waist, as his lips find mine again and I feel him hard, hot and ready on the inside of thigh, I grab his ass and press him into me begging him with my actions to possess me.

"Are you ready Ana?" he pants as he breaks our kiss.

"God yes please." I pant in return.

He rises up on his forearms and he positions himself at my entrance and in a very slow, precise, stroke he enters me.

"Yesssssssss" we both hiss as he fills me completely fully all the way.

He stays still for a few seconds, minutes maybe both of us just relishing this connection again. I keep my hands on his ass pulling him into me as taking as much of him as I possibly can, pressing his body tight to mine, I tighten my grip with my legs and I can feel him shaking, trying to keep his control. I am amazed at how I can do this to him.

"Fuck Ana baby, I have missed this. I love being buried inside you. I don't know how long I can last baby." he pants, as he shifts slightly I moan escapes my mouth.

"Christian please just move, I don't care I need you to move so bad please." I gasp as I press him into my body more trying to get him as close to me as possible.

He groans and starts to move slowly in and out each stroke is possessive but gentle, he hits my sweet spot and I know I won't be long.

"Christian" I moan as he continues to move and he increases his pace. I feel myself building quickly

"Faster baby please" I beg.

"Ana" Christian growls. "God baby yes. You feel fucking amazing Ana" he grunts

"uuuuhhhhgggg…. baby…. Yes…. don't stop….please…don't stop….I need you Christian!" I cry out my hips moving to match his

"yes Ana yes….I need you too baby….oh Ana….." he groans

"oooohhhh baby, yes." I dig my nails into his back as he continues to thrust faster and faster

"Fuck! Come on Baby" he growls

"ooooooooo…Christian….god yes…. Baby…. yes…. Christian….ooooooooo… ooooohhhhh….. my….. god….. oooooooo…mmmmmmmm…" I am close I can feel it and so is Christian he is barley hanging on for me

"Come on Ana give it up for me baby please." His words are my undoing

"OOOOOOOOOO…BABY…..CHRISTIAN!" I scream out loudly as my orgasm rips through my body and I cling to my husband I feel him thrust once more

"ANA…. ANA…. ANA!" he calls out loudly his own orgasm taking over his body he stills and then collapse on top of me both of us gasping and panting.

Christian rolls to his back pulling me with him. I lay snuggled against him stroking his chest while his hands caress my back.

"My god Ana that was amazing." He whispers

"I agree baby." I state as I plant kisses on his chest.

"Are you ok I didn't hurt you did I? He asks his voice full of concern.

"No baby you didn't. That felt amazing. I needed that so bad."

"I did too baby, I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through the next four days, especially after this morning."

I giggle. "It took all the control I had not to jump you last night and this morning."

"Wait so you went and saw Dr. Greene yesterday? I thought you were having lunch with Kate?"

"I did have lunch with Kate. I just saw Dr. Green before lunch. Once I got the all clear I put the final steps of my plan into motion. I called Andrea to find out your schedule, she told me about the department head meeting and I asked if it could be rescheduled. She said yes but that she wasn't comfortable doing that without your permission. I told her to reschedule it but to let you think it was still a go. I told her you would cancel it anyway once you figured out your surprise, so I was giving her more notice. Taylor knew to have the car ready right after your meeting and he was the one who placed the envelope on your desk."

"Well Mrs. Grey I must say you are quite clever and authoritative but you were also very naughty in keeping this secret from me. I think you might need to be punished."

"Oh really Mr. Grey you think so huh?" I say with a grin

"Oh yes baby I do." he grins wickedly as he rolls us back over and I am once gain on my back. He leans down to kiss me.

"Turn over. On your knees. Spread your legs." he commands softly and I do as I'm told.

I feel him move behind me he begins to massage my backside.

"I think 15 will do the trick. 5 for not telling me about your Dr. Appointment, 5 for keeping this little secret and 5 for bossing around my staff, however I find that incredibly sexy. Ready baby?"

"Yes Christian." I pant with excitement

I feel the first slap and I gasp….two….three…four and I moan….five…six….seven…..eight…..nine

"Christian" I whimper

Ten…eleven….twelve…I feel myself dripping with need…..thirteen….fourteen…..fifteen…..and his finger slips inside me moving circling my core then a second finger slips in and I groan in pure pleasure as his fingers begin to massage my inner walls and finds that oh so sweet spot hidden.

"ooohhh Christian"

He begins to stroke it softly while his thumb massages my clit my hips rock back against his hand as he leans over me I feel him hard again against my back. I grasp his arm that is supporting him and cling to it with one hand as I continue to rock back and forth moaning with each movement

"Christian please…please….ooooohhhhh baby please….." I whimper

"Come on baby, your almost there come on my beautiful Ana come for me." Christian urges and I can hear the desire in his voice he increases his pressure and speed on both areas he is massaging. He wraps his other arm around my waist and pulls me up to him my back to his front. He continues to stroke me harder and faster I feel my release building my body trembling.

"That's it baby let go."

And I do. I gasp and call out his name again another orgasm sweeps through my body as he continues to stroke and massage me which draws out my orgasm. My body convulsing against his, he slides his fingers out and holds me close to him and as I come down from my release I feel him enter me from behind slowly.

"God yes Christian!" I grunt

"Ana" he moans

He begins a slow steady rhythm thrusting in and out as he leans back on his heels, thrusting and cupping my breasts kneading and rolling my nipples, he suckles my neck as my head rolls back on to his shoulder I reach my arms up over my head behind me and hold his head to me as we continue to move towards our mutual goal. Moaning, groaning, grunting with each movement we both build towards our release, Christian increases our pace faster and faster.

"yes…. Christian….. yes"

"Ana…. Baby…..Ana"

Christian slides a hand down and finds my still swollen clit and squeezes, rubs, pulls, circles

"Oh…MY…GOD…OOOOO"

"That's its baby!"

He trusts faster and faster, I feel myself trembling as well as Christian, with one final thrust, we both call out each other's names as we find our mutual release and collapse back onto the bed.

Christian rolls to his back and pulls me to his side. I curl into him and he pulls a blanket over us.

"I've missed you." He says softly as he stokes my back and our breathing returns to normal. I am completely wrapped in his arms.

"mmmm" is all I can manage at the moment I so happy.

He chuckles. "You ok baby?"

"mmmm" I smile

He kisses my head.

"I have missed you too baby" I say as I look into his eyes all I see is pure love from my husband.

"I love you so much Christian."

"I love you too Ana. We are not done here yet baby." I hear the promise in his voice accompanied by the wicked grin on his face.

I giggle "Mr. Grey if we are going to go several more rounds I need to replenish my energy how about some lunch."

"Sounds good to me Mrs. Grey." He says as he nibbles my ear.

"Ok I didn't mean me." I move to get up Christian moves to join me.

"No, no, no Baby you stay in bed I'll be right back." I say pushing him back down onto the bed.

I slip into my robe and walk to the kitchen. I quickly cut up the fruit, bread and cheese and place them on the try I also grab two glasses and the bottle of champagne and place those on the tray as well.

Swaying back into the room Chrisitan just grins. He has slipped his boxers back on but that's it.

"Mrs. Grey you are a beautiful sight."

I blush at his words.

"You aren't half bad yourself Mr. Grey." I smile in return.

Christian takes the tray from me and places it over his lap while I crawl onto bed and snuggle against his side. We enjoy a leisurely lunch both feeding one another and just enjoying each other's touch.

Christian moves the tray to the bedside table, and I stand up and slip my robe off and reach to the floor and grab _the tie_ and drape it around my neck.

When Christian turns back around on the bed he stills. I slowly climb my way back up the bed I slide the tie down my body and then up Christians body and around his neck I use it to pull him to me and I devour his mouth my tongue dancing with his exploring every inch we can.

Christian pushes me back down to the bed takes the tie from me, gently raises my arms and ties my hands above my head to the bed. His hands skim lightly over my body and he trails kisses across my face before finding my mouth again, both kissing with such love and passion I am lost with my husband in our own world of pure love, passion and pleasure…..


	14. Sailing, Sex, Surprises

**A/N: Ok so sorry it took a little longer than expected to get this chapter up. I wrote it in 3 parts and had a little trouble getting the 3 to connect. I hope you enjoy. More Sex/Lemons. Keep reading we have another chapter of happiness and more drama to come. Thank you all so much for the kind reviews they really do mean so much to me and make my day. I am so happy you like this story. I am also tossing around an idea for a one shot about Ana telling Christian she is preggers with blip 2, let me know if you're interested. Enjoy!**

After an amazing afternoon with my husband we make our way to home. We have just left Bellevue to pick up Teddy. Grace tried to persuade us to stay for dinner but we politely declined, we both wanted to get home, eat put Teddy to bed and go to bed ourselves. Grace did well to keep the party a secret telling us that we would see each other on Sunday. Christian is none the wiser. Christian has not stopped smiling all afternoon.

"Did you enjoy your surprise baby?" I ask with a wicked grin

"Ana, I more than enjoyed it. Feel free to surprise me like that anytime you want to baby."

I can help a small giggle. "Well good I am glad you did. How long did it take you to figure it out?"

"Well I was little confused by the Dr.'s Note. The letter got me aroused and then that picture…..mmmm….that picture baby made all the thoughts leave my head. Once I realized you had left a note on it to meet you at Escala my mind was quick to work it out, however I think I was only speaking single word sentences." he chuckles

I can help but laugh in return as we pull into our driveway.

"Come Mrs. Grey, food, bath bed." he states slowly.

"I agree but we do have the young master to still attend to, luckily he will be in bed soon."

"Well that is good news why don't we relax while Mrs. Jones finishes dinner. I would love some cuddle time with our son." He says softly smiling down at me.

I sit and watch Christian settle into the couch with Teddy snuggled in his arms, and my heart just melts. I always knew that Christian would love Teddy without question. I just love hearing him admit to it, I love just watching him with Teddy. My husband is so sweet. He has changed so much from the first time I met him. He is so much more accepting of love. He still has his moments don't get me wrong and we still have a lot of work to do to get him accept and move beyond his childhood, but we are getting there. I just love that he has finally accepted the bond between him and his son.

We enjoy a nice dinner of baked chicken and roasted potatoes. Christian helps me bathe Teddy and get him in his pajamas, we also pack up his bag for tomorrow Kate and Elliott will be by in the morning. Once all that is finished I settle into the rocker to nurse while Christian Selects a book to read, he comes back and settles in the rocker next to me and begins to read "You are my I Love You" This moment is perfect.

Christian moves to take Teddy from my arms I lean down and kiss him "Good Night Teddy Bear Mommy Loves You."

Christian moves to his cradle and rocks him softly "Good Night Son I Love You." He places a soft kiss on his forehead and places him gently in his cradle and covers him with his blanket "Sweet Dreams Teddy Bear" I hear Christian whisper.

He turns back to me and pulls me out of the chair. We walk back towards the bedroom.

"Baby I am going to go make sure the house is locked up and the alarm is set." Christian says and kisses the top of my head.

"Ok I am going to take a quick shower before bed."

I head in to our bedroom while Christian makes his way downstairs. I need a hot shower tonight; walking into our bathroom I turn the shower on hot, slipping off my clothes I climb in and moan, god that feels amazing. I tip my head back and let the hot water cascade over my hair, my shoulders and run down my body.

I hear the shower door open and smile to myself.

"God you look so sexy standing like that, I could look at you forever." His voice is low and husky

I turn to look at him and smile "you don't look too bad yourself baby." Just looking at him gets me ready for him and even after this afternoon I need him again and I need him fast.

I pull Christian into the shower with me so we are both standing under the water I throw my arms around his neck and fist my hands in his hair and pull his face down to mine and seal my lips to his. My kiss is possessive of him and I think it takes him by surprise I feel his body react to mine as I press myself close to him, bringing my leg up and wrapping it around his calf. My tongue thrashes with his claiming him. He is mine. He moans as he breaks away and I press kisses to his shoulder his check his neck.

"God Ana." He gasps

I press closer to him. "Baby I still need you." I press kisses to his cheek "Christian, Please I need you to fuck me now."

Christian growls at my words I look up to meet his eye and his lips come down on mine his hands reach down to grab my ass and he picks me up I wrap my legs around his waist and he pins me against the wall of the shower.

"Ana, I love you." Both of us gasping for air

"I love you too Christian. Now Fuck me!"

"My pleasure baby."

With his hands firmly on my hips he brings me down hard on his erection and I scream out in pure pleasure as I drop my head to his shoulder.

"Are you ok Ana?" I can feel his breath on my neck

"Oh God yes Christian. You feel so good buried in me, so good baby."'

He lifts me up slowly and then brings me down hard again, repeating this process making me moan with each and every thrust.

"Christian faster, harder" I whimper begging him.

He increases his pace, moving harder, faster deeper.

I am close, so is he.

"Oh Christian…don't stop baby…please don't stop…faster… Christian…faster…yes…yes…"

I can hear Christian growling and it's so sexy…..

"Come on Ana. Come for me baby."

I feel the spasms begin and take over my body

"ooooohhhhh…oooooooohhhhh…CHRISTIAN." I explode around him cling tightly to his body as mine convulses and spasms uncontrollably, my insides clenching around him squeezing him. I feel him thrust twice more. His body tenses and I feel him trembling against me.

"ANA…OH FUCK…ANA…GOD BABY! He buries his face into my neck and I feel him explode inside me. His body still trembling against mine. He slowly slips out of me and I slowly slide my legs back to the floor our bodies still pressed together both trying to steady our breathing.

"Baby that was amazing."

"Yes baby it was Ana, god you continue to amaze me. I will fuck you anytime and where all you have to do is tell me what you want baby."

"Good to know Mr. Grey." I giggle.

"Well now that we have gotten dirty what do you say we get clean and climb into bed, we have to be up early for Kate and Elliott."

"Sounds good to me love,"

We quickly finish our shower. I dry my hair, and slip on one of Christians t-shirts and climb into bed, I snuggle next to my husband he reaches over and to turn the light off and slides down pulling me close, I throw a leg over his and rest my head on his chest.

"Good night Christian, I love you." I place a soft kiss on chest

"I love you to Ana. Good night." He kisses my head.

We are both tired from our afternoon antics, so it isn't long before we are both asleep.

The Morning goes by quickly, both Christian and I are up and showered, we lay out our clothes for dinner tonight so that we don't have to rush when we get back. Christian gets Teddy up and changed while I shower and dress, Christian showers while I nurse Teddy. We have finished breakfast and I am packing our picnic lunch when Sawyer informs me that Kate and Elliott are here. I grab the little cooler and put the frozen milk and ice packs in there so they are ready to go.

I meet them at the door sharing hugs.

"So where is my nephew?" Elliot asks.

"He is in the living room with his daddy." I smile and Elliott heads of to find them. Kate follows me into the kitchen.

"So how did it go yesterday?" She asks excitedly.

I laugh. "it was amazing Kate. I left him the notes like I told you. He was surprised. It felt so good to reconnect in that way. Six weeks is way too long."

"You went 6 weeks with nothing?" she asks shocked.

"Well not nothing, we were told no penetration so we got creative, but my god Kate I missed him so much, I think it was equally tough for us both. I still don't think either one of us is satisfied, we have 6 weeks to make up for." We both break out in giggles.

"What has you two giggling like school girls?" Christian asks as he and Elliott walk in. Teddy in his Uncles arms.

"Oh nothing." I grin

Kate leans over to kiss Teddy and wrap her arm around Elliott.

"Ok you tow Teddy ate about an hour ago he should be good for about another 3 hours, he eats every 4-6 hours. He should nap in about an hour or so and then again this afternoon. His bag is packed with plenty of diapers, a couple extra outfits and his clothes for tonight; we will come pick him up after dinner. Ryan will accompany you today but he will stay out of the way."

Kate nods at my instructions.

"We got it handled Ana no worries." Elliot winks at me

"Thank you both so much for watching him."

"Any time we love spending time with our nephew and it's rare that we don't have to share him with anybody else." Kate laughs.

"Ok well call me if there are any problems at ok understand."

"We will you two enjoy your time sailing." Kate smiles and gives me a hug.

Christian escorts them out and I grab a blanket out of the hall closet. Christian come back in grinning ear to ear.

"Ok Mr. Grey we are ready to go." I grin back

"Great Mrs. Grey I can hardly wait." We gather our things and make our way to the car. We are on our way to the dock, it's a pleasant drive.

Christian steps aboard _The Grace_. He then takes the picnic basket, blanket and the other bag I have and sets then aside then helps me step aboard as well. He wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me close dropping his lips to cover mine. The kiss is hard, desperate, and possessive. I am the first to pull away.

"Whoa!" I gasp

"God Ana, what you do to me." Christian rasps as he rests his forehead against mine.

"Same here baby, come on let's get this boat out on the water. Then we can have some fun."

It still takes the two of us a while to get the boat going. I am still learning how it all works, but Christian is always patient with me, explaining how things work, showing me what things do, he never yells or gets mad which, I am surprised and then not at the same time. I think it has something to do with the fact this was one of our first dates after _more _and simply because Christian loves being on his boat, _boys and their toys_.

Forty Five minutes later, I am nestled between Christian's legs leaning back against him his arms stretched out on either side of my body as he grasps the wheel and takes out of the harbor and into the open water. I sigh contently as the landscape around us changes and we get further and further away from land. We sail for about an hour, it's very quiet out today not many other boats out in the water and the ones that we do see we are all far enough away, Christian says boat etiquette to keep a very respectful distance most boats have some type of flare if there is a problem that needs assistance.

"Well Mr. Grey I am hungry would you like some lunch?"

"Why yes Mrs. Grey lunch sounds fantastic." He nuzzles my neck

"Excellent I am going to set up a picnic on the back deck if that's ok with you?"

"Sounds great baby, I will slow her down and set her to just float I will join you in a few minutes."

I spin around and plant a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth and leave to set up our lunch. I lay the blanket across the deck. The view around us is breathtaking and I very much want to make love to my husband out here. I pull myself from that thought for a moment and go back to setting out our lunch. We have turkey club sandwiches, grapes, and potato salad. We also have a bottle of sparkling cider and bottled water. I have just about everything laid out when Christian comes walking over.

"Looks delicious baby." Christian states as he sit down on the blanket across from me.

"Thank you baby. I figured we could keep it light since we are going out for dinner tonight."

"Hmmm. I am looking forward to that Mrs. Grey. This really is a great birthday weekend. Thank you Ana." His beautiful grey eyes are filled, with joy, love, shyness, and gratefulness. I know at times he still thinks himself unworthy but he is getting better at it.

"You are most welcome Christian; I want you to enjoy every aspect of this weekend OK?"

"I know one particular aspect I can enjoy right now." He grins

"Lunch first baby." I giggle

"Ahh music to my ears." he leans over and plants a kiss on my forehead.

We eat lunch in relative quiet both just enjoying the sounds of the water and nature surrounding us. Christian helps me clean up lunch and just watching the water and nature around us.

"God Christian it really is so peaceful out here. I really can see why you loved coming out here alone; it's just so quiet and beautiful." There is true amazement in my voice as I lean back and allow the sun wash over my skin. I feel Christian leaning over me.

"Yeah baby, it is peaceful out here, but I love it so much more being out here with you. Ana I never pictured a moment like this, a moment of pure contentment, never did I think my life could mean something, never did I think I could be so happy, never, not once until you. Baby you make everything so much better. Ana you really have given me a life worth living, shown me love, shown me that I am worth being loved. Ana my life would mean nothing without you I need you to know that." He states softyl but with so much emotion I have tears down my cheeks,

"Christian I love you so much, I am so happy that you have finally accepted love, and you have accepted your bond with your son. You are an amazing man I am so glad you are mine."

Christian leans down and kisses me softly the kiss intensifies instantly, he pushes me down so I am completely on my back, he throws a leg over mine his knee resting between my legs and he is half laying on me. One hand is buried in my hair the other is sliding up and down my side, his tongue thrashing with mine claiming me. I have one hand holding his head to mine the other roaming his back. His hand slides up my shirt and gently massages my breast through my bra. I slide my hand down and grab his beautiful ass. His kiss continues to consume me making me forget all but him and I right here right now.

Chrisitian breaks away,

"Ana…"he gasps "I can never have enough of you. Come. To the Cabin. I want to fuck you." His breath still ragged

"No" I breathe. He looks shocked and hurt he thinks I am telling him no.

"Ana I need you baby please."

"Baby I want to make love to you right here surrounded by this beauty. Please baby, make love to me."

"Ana." His lips claim mine once again this time it's a deep sensual kiss. His hand caresses my face, down my neck. He rolls so I am laying on top of him. His hands roaming my back, caressing my ass, my legs, and back up. My hands are cupping his face, leaning up slightly so I can unbutton his shirt, slowly caressing his body on my way to each button. Finally my hands are on his skin, slowly gliding my hands up his stomach across his chest opening his shirt. Breaking my kiss I trail kisses down his neck and across his chest.

Christian moans at my touch, he clasps me around the waist and sits up, he lifts the hem of my shirt up and over my head. He kisses my neck and trails kisses from shoulder to shoulder, his hands sliding up and down my back. I slip his shirt completely off and wrap my arms tight around his neck holding him to me. I grind my hips against him, making him growl. His hand reaches between us he undoes my jeans and zipper, his hand slides in my jeans and caresses me, I continue to grind against him I reach down and undo his jeans as well. Chrisitan flips us again I am once again on my back. Christian pulls my jeans and panties off then climbs back up my body leaving kisses in his wake, making me squirm, laying half on me, he trails the kisses up my body, he unhooks my bra, and pulls the sides apart to reveal my breasts, his hands massaging my nipples bringing them fully erect. I reach my hand down and caress him through his jeans, he groans against my neck, I slide into his jeans, my hand finding his arousal I grasp him firmly and move my hand up and down slowly, my thumb swirls the small drop of moisture around his tip.

"Fuck Ana." He hisses.

I know what my touch does to him. I pull him on top of me and push his jeans down, I use my feet to push them the rest of the way down. I can feel him warm and hard on the inside of my thigh, Christian trails kisses up my neck to my ear and kisses that soft spot behind my ear. I moan and arch my back towards him. Christian kisses up my cheek across my forehead, across my other cheek to my nose, down to my lips. He breaks away.

"Ana. My Ana." He breathes.

Our eyes lock no words need to be spoken, noting but pure love passes between us, he hitches my leg around his waist and shifts never breaking eye contact, he moves and thrusts into me so exquisitely slow.

"Chrisitan" I gasp and breathe.

I savor the feeling of him completely buried inside me as far as he can go. He stays still for several moments, his body pressed to mine, I feel him trembling. My arms tight around his back holding him to me.

" .Ana." he whispers softly in my ear, he plants soft kisses over my face. He raises himself slightly taking some of his weight and supporting himself on his forearms. Not letting him take too much from me his body is still tightly pressed to mine arms still tight around his back. His hands are in my hair and caressing my face. Our eyes lock again and Christian begins to rock his hips in a slow sensual rhythm. I can feel every inch of him; he can feel every inch of me. I can hear Christian moan quietly with each thrust, with each slow stroke my body responds he hits that spot deep in my core. Only Christian can make me feel this way, so full of love for him. I pull his face down to mine and kiss him while he continues his slow assault on our senses, pushing us higher and higher, I moan into his mouth and clasp his shoulders digging my nails into him. I can feel the trembles begin in my stomach and I break our kiss.

"Christian…" I rasp barely audible.

Our breaths mingling, both breathing rapid and shallow, our moans mixing, Our eyes lock once again.

"Ana…baby…come on baby….give it to me Ana…Come with me….."

His words are my undoing with 3 more slow, steady, deep strokes I let go calling out his name, my muscles clench around him and I cling to his neck as my body shakes beneath him, one more stroke and I feel his muscles tense..

"ANA BABY" he calls out as the look of tortured pleasure crosses his face as he surrenders to his release. I feel him explode inside me my muscles still clenching and milking him, His body shaking against my still trembling body. He drops his head to my shoulder and I kiss hid neck and wrap him in my arms, I am relishing the moment, basking in the love we just created, that's what we did we just made, slow, sensual, passionate love to one another and it was perfect.

Our breathing returns to normal and Christian rolls us over so I am once again on top his arms move to wrap around me as I nuzzle his chest.

"That was amazing Ana" he says softly.

"Hmmm yes it was Christian" my response equally soft.

We lay in each other's embrace for several more minutes.

"Baby we should get dressed and head back so we can get ready for dinner." Christian suggests as he places a kiss on the top of my head.

"I agree we don't want to be late." I lean up kiss plant a soft kiss on the corner of his mouth and begin to get dressed again, Christian follows. I store the basket and blanket off to the side and I am once again snuggled between Christian's legs while we head back to the docks.

Back at the house we both take a shower managing to keep it calm as we both know we don't have time to get dirty. I am in the bathroom doing my hair when my phone rings its Mia.

"Hey Mia what's up?"

"_Hey Ana I just wanted to let you know that everything is ready and everyone is here are you almost here?"_

"No we are just getting ready to go out to dinner then we are picking up Teddy afterwards."

"_Christian's in the room with you right?" I can hear the smirk in her voice. _

"Yeah."

"_Ok so what are you thinking about half an hour?"_

"Yeah that sounds great and I am sure Christian will love it."

"_Ok great Ana see you soon."_

"Ok thanks Mia We will see you tomorrow."

I hang up the phone and grin. I quickly finish my hair and move to the closet to put my dress on. It's the plum dress that Christian loves, and I put on my knee high black Jimmy Choo boots. Walking out of my closet I hear Christian on the phone

"Ok great thanks Elliott; we will see you in a couple hours….Remember call if there are any problems….Ok bye."

"Everything ok?" I ask and Christian spins around to meet my gaze. I hear his sharp intake.

"Ana…you look…wow… I sure do love that dress on you."

"Well if I may say so, you look pretty damn good yourself." I respond biting my lip my god he looks good enough to eat.

Christian is wearing black jeans, a white shirt no tie top button undone and a dark charcoal grey jacket.

"That lip Mrs. Grey" he smirks and pulls it from my teeth and plants a kiss on my lips.

I smile when he pulls away. "Everything ok with our son?"

"Yeah, I called Elliott just to check in, he said Teddy has been great and they are having a wonderful time with him, I told him we would be by in a couple hours to pick him up."

"Sounds like a plan Mr. Grey now let's get going."

Christian takes my hand and we make our way to the Audi SUV, since we will be 'picking Teddy up after dinner', Christian ever the gentleman holds the door for me, then climbs in the driver's seat and we make our way to the club holding hands the entire time. We arrive at the club and I send a quick text to Mia to let her know we are here. Christian hands the keys to the valet and we walk inside. The elevator arrives and we step out and are immediately greeted by the host.

"Welcome Mr. and Mrs. Grey, it's good to see you both again."

Christian nods and I smile.

"Mrs. Grey we have the private dining room waiting for you as you requested."

"Thank you." The host leads us to the room

"Private room huh? We could have some fun with that." Christian whispers.

"I just wanted it to be special." I smile

The host opens the door and its dark we step in and the lights go on

"SURPRISE!" everyone shouts at once. I turn to look at Christian who is utterly shocked.

There stands Grace & Carrick, Elliott & Kate holding Teddy, Mia & Ethan, Gail &Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan, Ros & Gwen, Mac, Claude, John & Rhian

"Surprise baby." I say as I lean up to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you baby he whispers in my ear." I can hear the emotion he is trying to control in his voice

Mia and Grace are the first over to give him a hug and birthday wishes, then everyone else follows I make my way to Kate and she hands Teddy to me.

"Hello Teddy bear were you good today for Auntie Kate and Uncle Elliott?" I kiss him softly. He is dressed in his jeans and white shirt it's his "mini Christian" outfit. God I missed him so much today.

"He was great Ana we had so much fun with him."

"That's great Kate. Thank you so much for taking him."

"Anytime you need us to ok? So how did it go this afternoon?"

"It was great Kate so peaceful and beautiful."

I look around and see that everyone has champagne I walk over to Christian.

"If I could have Everyone's attention please." I say loud enough to be heard. I smile up at Christian who has placed an arm around me.

"I would like to thank you all for coming this evening. I am so glad that you could all join me in celebrating my amazing husband's birthday."

I turn to look at my husband.

"Christian, you are an amazing man, so loving, kind, thoughtful, loyal and caring. Never did I expect, when I fell into your office that I would also fall in love with the most wonderful man in the world. Baby you have given me everything a girl could ever possibly want or need especially when all I ever will want or need is you. Thank you for falling in love with me as well, for giving me this amazing life, and our son. You are the best husband I could ever have hoped to have the best father our son could ever have. Our world begins and ends with you always and forever. We love you so much, and I hope you enjoy tonight surrounded by our family and friends who all love you as well. Happy Birthday My Love."

"Happy Birthday Christian." everyone toasts as well.

Christian has tears in his eyes as he wraps us gently in a hug.

"Thank you Ana, I love you so much." He says shakily

I feel him take a deep breath to steady himself before he releases me and takes Teddy into his arms. Grace comes over and envelopes me in a huge hug.

"Ana that was a beautiful toast. This kind of thing would never have been possible two years ago. Thank you for giving me my son. You really are an angel."

"Thank you Grace, I just want him to be happy that's all and to show him that he is loved by so many people."

"I know sweetie me too."

I smile. I see John and Rhian approaching Grace and I say our hellos and Grace and Rhian engage in conversation.

"John thank you so much for coming tonight I know Christian really appreciates it."

"It's our pleasure Ana. I must say I have never quite seen Christian like this before. He was truly surprised and looked a little overwhelmed."

"Yes I think he was and still is. I know he still has a hard time accepting all of this emotion and the idea that people really do love and care about him. But I truly think he is getting better. I have to thank you John for that, for helping him realize he is a good man and is deserving of all of this."

"Oh Ana I cannot take all the credit, you have made him see so much more than I ever could. Before you my theories were just that, theories, you were the one who made him take it seriously. Just keep loving him Ana like you do and he will be just fine."

"I do want to talk to you about an issue later, tonight not being appropriate however, but I think I have a way for Christian to finally face and deal with his past, I think it's something he needs to do for himself, and for Teddy but I am going to need your help and support with it."

"Ok let schedule and appointment for next week and we will see what we can come up with."

"Great John, I will schedule and appointment on Tuesday. Please enjoy yourself tonight." I hug him again and Rhian.

I finally make my way over to the table with Mia and Kate and join them. I watch Christian move about the room talking with his friends, holding his son. He is smiling, talking, laughing. He looks over at me and I blow him a kiss, he grins widely and I can see it on his face. Happiness. I have never seen him this relaxed and happy before. My heart swells, Christian, My Fifty, surrounded by his friends and family, surrounded by love. He is Happy.


	15. Aspen & In Love

**A/N: This chapter is short and just kinda fills out the rest of Christians birthday weekend. I did promise Aspen and Christians actual birthday. This chapter was a little difficult to get through since it's just really a filler chapter, nothing too exciting and this one is mostly mushy, yes sex/lemons. I just need it to keep the story going. I promise, more lovey-dovey and drama coming up in the next few chapters. I have them planned out just need to get the thoughts in the order I want them so hopefully another update soon. Sorry if this chapter is a little boring but please stick with me. It gets better I promise. None the less I hope you enjoy it. **

Our Trip to Aspen so far is amazing. Christian was once again surprised that I had made the arrangements for it without him knowing. He wasn't too happy that I made him leave his laptop at home; I also told that his phone would not be glued to his hand for the next two day either. He reluctantly agreed. We spend most of Sunday; hiking around the area it's beautiful. It was kind of funny seeing Christian with the baby hiking buddy strapped around him, but he never complained about carrying our son all over the place. Which was good because I know there was no way I could do it hiking up a mountain. The view that Christian took us too was amazing. We actually met another couple that were up there as well and asked them to take our picture. They did and we returned the favor. We had a nice picnic at the top and then made our way back down. When we got back to the house, I fed Teddy and put him down for his nap and I actually think he might sleep for a while he did not get his morning nap. I found Christian in the living room on his phone.

"Yes Ros….No get them to redo it….I don't give a fuck…..I don't like the way it's worded….get it redone"

"Caught you Mr. Grey." I say with a smirk

"Guilty Mrs. Grey. I am sorry, the idiots that work for me can't seem to word a contract correctly." He growls and presses his mouth into a hard line.

"Well baby, you broke one of the rules you should be punished."

"Oh you think so Mrs. Grey and how exactly do you plan to do that?" he grins

Walking over to him I slip my arms around him and pull him close.

"Well I think you may need a spanking." and with that I grab his ass and smack him playfully.

His answering growl makes me smile. I walk him back and push him down onto the couch I kneel in-between his legs. My hands run up his legs, up his thighs, slowly up his stomach to his chest my hands reach the top button of his shirt and I unbutton the top button and place a kiss on his chest, his breath hitches, I grab both sides of his shirt, and yank hard, buttons fly all over the room as I pull his shirt off.

I lean up and whisper in his ear. "I am going to fuck you with my mouth and you are going to love it but you may only come if I tell you too." My voice soft and wicked

"Ana" he growls.

I gently bit his ear then lick down the side of his neck across his collar bone, down to one nipple, I lightly swirl my tongue around and suck then trail my tongue to the other side, meanwhile my hands are on his thighs gently massaging in circles getting closer and closer to his erection. Christian gasps and moans as my hands moves closer and my tongue trails down his chest and lick him across the waistband of his jeans, I bring one hand up to unbutton his jeans the other makes contact with his erection trough his jeans and I cup him.

"Fuck Ana." He breathes

I unzip his pants and he lifts his hips slightly so I can slide off his pants and boxers. I watch him spring free and I smile and lick my lips. I slide one hand up and lightly caress him hipbone to hipbone. The other trails very lightly the length of him up and down, I trace light circles on his balls as I drop a very light kiss on his tip. He jerks his hips up and groans. I continue to trail my fingers lightly up and down slowly. My tongue begins to swirl slightly around his tip and my other arm is draped across his stomach holding him still.

I slowly and gently take him into my mouth as far as he will go.

"Oh Fuck Baby" he hisses sharply almost holding his breath

Just as slow I move up sucking hard on his tip. Then I blow gently down his length and back up again. Christian is squirming and moaning. I take him again in my mouth this time a little more firm and suck my way down. I can feel the muscles in his stomach tense and I can feel him begin to tremble, he is close already and I can't help but grin to myself. I increase my pace and suck him harder.

"Ana…please baby…." He pants.

I replace my mouth with my hand and continue to stroke him gently.

"Control Mr. Grey, it's all about control and I have not given you permission to come yet" I grin as I repeat the words he has said to me time and time again.

As my hand continues to move I trail my tongue down the inside of his thigh to his balls and begin to lick and suck them, increasing the pace of my hand.

"Fuck….Ana….Fucking God Please….." I release him completely not a single part of me is touching him I lean in close and blow gently again.

Christian moans deep and loud.

"Please…Ana…Fucking Hell….baby…" he pants as he trust his hips towards me. I take his hands in mine and our eyes lock.

"You may come baby, give it up for me." I say with a smirk still holding his hands I pull him deep in to my mouth and suck hard. I move up and down twice before he lets go calling out "FUCK…FUCK…ANA…ANA!" and I see the look of ecstasy on his face and feel his body shake. I take all he is offering and then slowly kiss my way up his chest moving to climb on him and straddle his lap, his breathing quick and shallow and finally my lips meet his and kiss him slowly. His arms wrap around my waist. I break the kiss and snuggle into his chest.

"If that was my punishment baby, I will have to break more of your rules." He states his breathing returning to normal as he plants a kiss on my head.

We lay like this for a few more minutes.

"I believe Mrs. Grey I should return the favor."

"Well Mr. Grey I may just let you, after of course we have some dinner, and I feed Teddy I expect him to go right back to sleep he had a busy day."

"MMM sounds like a plan baby."

Just as I expected, Teddy woke up after we finished dinner he ate and then went back to sleep.

Christian and I enjoyed a relaxing sensual bath and made love before we both fell asleep in each other's arms.

It's about 7:30 Monday morning when I wake up. I am on my side facing Christian and I take just a moment to watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful and relaxed. I decide to go check on Teddy since I have not heard him wake up yet. I gently make my way out of bed careful not to wake my husband and walk to Teddy's room. Yes Teddy has a room at the house in aspen, Christian made sure that he had a room at all of our properties including New York and Escala. I find Teddy in his cradle just cooing to himself.

"Good morning baby boy. Do you know what today is? Today is your Daddy's birthday." I smile to him as I lift him up and hug him close, I make quick work of changing his diaper and getting him dressed. I take Teddy back to our room and climb back into bed next to my husband Teddy and I settle in and he begins to nurse. I am surprised that Christian manages to sleep the entire time. Christian is still on his side facing us so we slide back down a bit, I lean teddy over and help him place a kiss on Christian's cheek

"Happy Birthday Daddy" I whisper

I see Christians eyes open slowly and he smiles when he see Teddy and I cuddled together watching him.

"Hmm what a wonderful sight to wake up to." He pushes himself up slightly.

I lean over and plant a kiss on his lips. "Happy Birthday Christian, I love you."

"Thank you baby, I love you too. Come here Teddy Bear"

Christian sits up and I pass Teddy to him he gives Teddy a kiss and rest him against his knees and begins to talk and play with him.

I lean over and kiss Christian on the cheek.

"Stay here I'll be right back." I smile

Christian nods and continues to play with our son.

I make my way into the kitchen and make breakfast for Christian and I, just scrambled, eggs, toast, and fruit, with orange juice. I place it all on a breakfast tray.

"Breakfast in bed for the birthday boy." I smile and walk over and climb back into bed with Christian and Teddy. I place the tray at the bottom of the bed; Christian hands Teddy back to me and pulls the tray on to his lap. We laugh and play and talk with Teddy while Christian feeds us both its a nice relaxing morning. Once we have finished eating I reach over to the bedside table where I placed his presents last night. I pull out the two boxes and hand him the one from me first.

"More presents?" he ask with a childlike smile

I nod

"Really Ana you did not have to give me anything else you have already given me an amazing weekend, that I go to share with you and Teddy."

"Everyone should get to open a present on their birthday Christian; I just hope you will like them."

"If they are from you, I will love them, Thank you." He kisses the side of my cheek.

He carefully unwraps the first present and opens the box, as the pulls the tissue paper off it reveals the frame holding the picture that was taken of the entire family Greys and Kavanaghs in the frame that says 'Family is Forever', he smiles at me.

"This picture came out really, really well." He states softly.

"I thought so too. Here this one is from Teddy." I hand him the second box

He is careful about this one as well as he opens its. When this picture frame is revealed I hear him gasp and he just stares down at the copy of the picture of him and his son at the benefit both dressed alike in matching tuxes. His fingers trail over the words 'I love you. Thank you for being my Daddy, Love Teddy'. He is still and does not say a word.

"Christian?"

Nothing

"Christian baby, I am sorry I know they are just small gifts, I really had a hard time coming up with a present for you. I understand if you don't like them."

He is quiet for a few more moments before he turns his attention to me his eyes meet mine and I can see the tears running down his cheeks.

"Christian?" I ask worried.

"Baby these are the best presents ever. I don't need anything big or spectacular or expensive, all I need is currently right here in this bed. These pictures are already so precious to me. They will show me every day the kind of life that I have and how happy and lucky I am. I never thought I could have this. And this…this picture from our son _of_ me and our son…this is going on my desk at the office." He smiles

"I am glad you like them." I smile in return

"I love them baby thank you." He kisses me softly

"And Thank you as well Teddy Bear." He kisses his son.

We spend the rest of our morning lying in bed playing with Teddy. We have decided to leave a little bit earlier but only so we can get Ted to sleep on time hoping that this weekend did not mess up his schedule too bad.

I snuggle next to Christian on the plane his arm draped around my shoulder.

"Thank you baby." He says softly.

I turn my head up to look at him.

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For this weekend, all of it. Thank you for all of the surprises. I am truly a lucky man. This whole weekend was beyond anything I could have imagined. No one has ever put this much effort in for my birthday. I can only imagine my parents doing something like this for me if I had let them, usually it was just the standard family obligated dinner, I would sit through dessert and then make my excuses and return home or to the office and that was it. No party, no friends, no trips, and certainly no days of making love to the most beautiful woman in the world." He smirks.

"You are an amazing woman, thank you again for everything."

"You are welcome baby, I just wanted your birthday to be special. I love you."

"I love you too Ana more then you know." He kisses the top of my head.

We are finally back home, I must say I too am tired after this weekend. I feed Teddy and Christian and I put him to bed. Christian goes to make sure the house is locked up and I get ready for bed after putting on a purple satin nightgown I climb into bed and wait for my husband. I watch him as he come sauntering in. he lifts his shirt over his head as he walks towards his closet my eyes locked on his body watching his muscles flex with every move he makes. He undoes his pants and they fall to the floor and I gasp at the sight of him.

He turns and smirks at me. "like what you see Mrs. Grey?"

I nod biting my bottom lip. His smirk turns to wicked grin and his eyes now burn with passion as he climbs his way up the bed.

"Stop biting that lip" he pulls on my chin then claims my mouth. His hands skim my body and then slide under my gown, his fingers run through my folds and I moan as my body bows against him.

"Always so ready" he whispers as he slide first one finger then two and begins to stoke in and out circling, massaging, even tempo.

"God baby your so wet." He slide his fingers out making me whimper and brings them to his lips and sucks. I groan, I don't know what that is so sexy but fuck it is.

I pull him down to me and wrap my legs around him.

"Christian." I pant.

"Yeah baby?"

"Fuck Me."

"Ana" he growls and slides his boxers off he leans down to kiss me then slams into me causing me to call out.

"AAAHH"

He stills. "Are you ok?" he asks in a gasp

"Yeah baby I'm good, I need you." I respond pulling him into me

He groans and begins to move slowly.

"Faster Christian…harder, faster, Fuck me baby."

"Fuck Ana!" He begins to move faster pounding into me both of us groaning at each stroke.

"Fuck yes Christian….just like that…right there baby"

"God. Ana. You. Feel. So. Fucking. Good. Baby." Each word belonging to a single stroke

"right there baby…keep going…harder…harder..yes..Christian….Christian…."

"Come on Ana. Fucking give it to me. Let go baby….let go." He continues to slam into me I feel the spasm begin and I can't control them any longer my body bows off the bed as I cling to his neck

"OOOHHH CHRISTIAN!" I call out no longer having any control over my body

"ANA" I hear him call with his final thrust and he surrenders to his climax as well.

We both collapse onto the bed he rolls off me and pulls me with him, both trying to catch our breath.

Christian pulls the blankets over us as I snuggle in his arms my head on his chest.

"Good Night Christian, Happy Birthday, I love you."

"Good Night Ana, I Love you too. Sleep Baby."

Soon we are both lost to our dreams.


	16. HELP!

Hi all I took down this chapter because it was just me asking for help finding nick name and it was not working. I'll try again...

HELP! I need a cute nick name for an "uncle" type person, someone who is not family but feels like it or just a nickname for an Uncle in General... BASICALLY I am looking for something cute that Teddy would call Luke and Jason other than "Uncle" ….. If I like your nickname the next chapter will be dedicated to you. Thanks for the help Love you all and thanks for the reviews!

New chapter soon I promise.

As for the person who reviewed under guest and asked for me to edit my story, I have updated the first two chapters as the edited versions the rest of my story is much easier to read.

If you are going to criticize my story or writing which I can handle please sign in so that I can defend myself to you and we can discuss issues like adults. Thanks.


	17. The Good Doctor

**A/N: Sorry for the disappointment on the last update not being a chapter. I do appreciate all of the suggestions from you guy's thank you so much. As Promised this chapter is dedicated to two people for the help with coming up with the names: **_**Poppicake & GreyFan513**_** Thank you both so much for your suggestions they fit well!**

**As for the few 'guests' that suggested that Teddy refer to Luke & Taylor as 'dada or daddy' to make Christian upset, thinking it would be funny…you are crazy, that is not what I was going for at all, you obviously have NOT been reading this story properly otherwise you would know that I would NEVER do that.**

**As for the rest of my loyal followers thank you so much. I am hoping to finish the next chapter and have it up for you by Friday be prepared things are going to get a little intense over the next few chapters. Hope you enjoy! Love you all!**

It's been a couple days since we have been back from Aspen and Christian seems so much more relaxed. I really think actually celebrating his birthday and having some fun did him a lot of good. Things have been getting back to normal, and when I say things I mean our sex life which has been nice. God it's been fantastic I am so glad that the post-partum hormones have not affected my sex drive. I feel like I need him more now then ever before if that's possible and I know Chrisitan feels the same way. I am surprised we have actually managed to control ourselves as much as we have. I laugh at the thought.

I climb out of the shower, wrap myself in my robe and make my way into the closet. I am just about back to my pre-Teddy body with the help of Claude. I pull on a pair of jeans, and my favorite blue top, and slip on a pair of black heels. I make my way downstairs, and I heard Christian talking to Ted, at the breakfast bar, he is explaining all about what he has to do at the office today and from the look on Ted's face he is listening completely intrigued by what his Daddy is telling him. I giggle.

"Already prepping our son to be the next CEO of GEH, Inc I see." I slip my arms around Christians waist and kiss his neck, resting my chin on his shoulder my front to his back.

"But of course baby, who else is going to run it once we retire?"

"Chrisitan Grey I don't see you retiring. EVER! But none the less our son seems completely interested in what you are saying."

"Baby Teddy has no Idea what I am telling him." He laughs

"No, but he loves listening to you talk that's for sure, he hasn't taken his eyes off you."

Chrisitan smiles and gives a short laugh. I kiss his neck again and move to sit down on the stool next to him Teddy between us on the table.

"Baby I just wanted to remind you I have an appointment with Flynn at 12:30p.m. I am going there and coming straight back. Ryan will stay here with Gail and Teddy and Sawyer will be with me."

Christian just nods.

"Baby? Everything ok?"

"Yeah I guess why are you seeing Flynn again?"

"Christian it's nothing to worry about. John just wants to see how I am adjusting to motherhood that's all. He suggested it at your party; I know you still have regular sessions with him, I think he just wants to make sure we are both adjusting well that's all. He really does care about us as friends as well Christian."

"But you seem to being just fine Ana."

"I am Christian, I don't feel depressed or overwhelmed or anything like that I am happy with you and our son and in our life together. Why are you worried?"

"I just don't want you to be hurting that's all if you are I want to help you. I don't want you to hide from me. If you hide from me….If I can't protect you….."

I pull his chin so he gaze is on me now, he looks lost.

"Chrisitan I am fine, please don't worry. I am not going to hide from you, nothing is wrong and you do protect me. If something was wrong I would tell you. You have to trust me on that."

He nods.

"I love you Christian that is never going to change and I am not leaving so please get those crazy thoughts out of your head. I don't know how you can think those thoughts especially after this past weekend. If I wanted to leave do you really think that I would have put so much effort into your birthday?"

"No your right baby. I am sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Baby when was the last time you saw Flynn?"

"About two weeks ago I think, right after the benefit, but the appointment was short."

"Hmm perhaps you should make an appointment as well. Or we can both go see him together if you want. I just want to make sure you are ok baby."

"I know baby. I think I will see if Flynn has time tomorrow. It will be good for me to talk with him. I don't like some of the thoughts in my head and I need to figure out why they are there."

"Good. You know I am here for you too love, I am always here and you can always talk to me no matter what. That's what a marriage is about. I love you Christian and I just want you happy as well."

"I know baby. I know. I love you too. I will call Flynn today and make an appointment."

I smile and lean over to kiss him. The kiss is deep and loving. I break away before it goes further and we can't control ourselves.

"Easy Mr. Grey. You have to go to work." I take a deep breath and he mirrors my actions

"Yes Mrs. Grey unfortunately I do have meetings most of the day and I can't be late."

He stands and kisses Teddy. "Bye Son. I will see you when I get home be good for Mommy and Gail."

Next he places a kiss on my lips. "I will see you tonight love. Have a good day."

I hold him to me for a few seconds needing to offer him comfort, support, reassurance, of what I am not completely sure but I know he needs it.

"Bye baby, Have a good day as well. I love you." I kiss him again and let him go.

He smiles down at me and turns to leave. I watch him walk to the door where Taylor stands waiting for him. He turns around for a moment I blow him a kiss, he smirks and walks out the door. I make another mental note to talk to Flynn about this morning. Chrisitan and I have both signed waivers allowing Flynn to discuss one with the other and our sessions. Christian will no doubt find out tomorrow that my session today is about him but that's ok because I plan on telling him that tonight.

"Well baby boy what do you say we go spend some time outside before your nap?" I gather Teddy up and we make our way to Taylor's office.

"Hey Luke, I just wanted to let you know that Teddy and I are going to spend some time in the meadow."

"Ok Ana I will accompany you." He replies "Just let me do a quick walk through outside first."

"That's fine Luke I need to gather a few things first. Say 15 minutes?"

"Perfect."

I nod and head up stairs. I laugh to myself remembering how long it took me to break Sawyer of the whole Mrs. Grey, ma'am thing. I just figured since I spend practically all day with the man he should be able to use my name, besides I consider Gail, Taylor & Sawyer all family and that is how I want them to feel as well, I know Gail does, I know Taylor and Sawyer do as well but both trying to keep a professional manner as well, especially around my husband who is slowly coming around to my side.

Teddy has been changed, I have grabbed a blanket, and some books to read to Teddy. I throw it all in one of my tote bags and gather Ted backup and head back down stairs. Sawyer is standing at the door.

"All clear Ana."

"Wonderful."

Teddy and I settle under my favorite tree up on a slight hill so that I can see the water, the view is simply breathtaking. We lay out here for a couple hours just playing and reading. I snap a picture of Teddy and me and send it to Christian hoping to make his day brighter.

I look at the time and decide to gather Ted and get him back inside so I can feed him before I have to go. I pack up the books and with Ted in my arms, go to gather the blanket.

"I'll get that Ana." I hear Luke from behind me.

"Thank you Luke." He takes the blanket and the bag from me.

"Teddy Bear can you say thank you to Gunkle Luke." I smile up at Sawyer

He smiles back down.

The memory of us still in the hospital, Ryan had replaced Luke and he had come in to say his congratulations. Both he and Taylor were there and I asked him and Taylor if it is ok to refer to them as "Gunkle" (Guard Uncle) with Teddy they were both fine with it and a little honored if I may say. I love watching them both hold Teddy. I watched them both become super protective of him right away, a little more so with Sawyer. When Taylor held Teddy for the first time….

"_Well hello there Little T." Taylor said softly_

_I started giggling like crazy. All eyes were on me._

"_What is so funny Ana?" Christian asked._

"_Look baby…Big T is holding Little T" and I giggled again_

_They all laughed with me. "HMM I quite like that name ma'am" Taylor smiles_

"_Well then Big T it is." I smile. _

_I looked at Sawyer and he smiled too "I still like 'Gunkle' if that's ok?"_

"_Absolutely." I nod_

That's how we came up with the names for them. We asked Gail when we got home and Gail of course was thrilled and asked if she could be called 'nana' I loved the name.

We reach the house and I head upstairs with Teddy and get him fed. He falls asleep and I lay him in his bed. I bring the monitor downstairs to Gail.

"The car is ready Ana." Sawyer calls out to me.

"Ok great. Just a minute."

"Gail, Teddy has just been fed and he is sleeping. I should only be about two hours. Call me if there are any problems."

"Please don't worry Ana. We will be fine." She smiles

"I know Gail. Thank you." I smile in return.

Sawyer and I leave and make our way to Dr. Flynn's office.

I grab my phone to email Christian to let him know.

I see his response to my message.

_I love that picture. Thank you baby it made my day. Love you. C X_

I smile glad that we made him smile.

_Glad it made you feel better baby. Just want to let you know Sawyer and I are on our way to Flynn's. Love you. A X_

_Ok baby. Thank you for letting me know, I made an appointment with him for tomorrow. I miss you see you tonight. Love you. C X_

I am sitting in the waiting room outside John's office. I have all the thoughts run through my head, so much I need to discuss with him. The door opens.

"Hello Ana, please come in."

"Hello John." I rise and walk into his office. I settle in to the couch and he takes a seat across from me.

"So Ana how are you?"

"I am good John how are you? Rhian and the kids ok?"

"I am well thank you and yes Rhian and the kids are well also."

"Good."

"So Ana what is it you want to talk about?"

"Oh John so much I hope we will have enough time."

He smirks. "Well let's take it one thought at a time."

"Ok well my biggest one is that I really think that Christian needs to finally confront his past and deal with his emotions about his birth mom, the rest stem from that."

"And what makes you think the time is now?"

"Well John, I don't know if you have spoken to Chrisitan in a while, but several weeks ago we had an argument about Teddy and I going out "unprotected" he woke up that night with a nightmare, something he hasn't done in a while. He jumped out of bed and ran into the nursery, he was crying and when I got him to tell me about the nightmare….John it took him back to the crack house he told me that I was laying on the floor like his mom, and that the pimp was abusing Teddy. Christian was watching the whole thing and could not help or protect us."

Flynn nods and makes some notes.

"Then the night of the benefit, when the whole thing with Elena happened. Well the next morning, I heard Christian telling him he was lucky to have a mom that would protect him, and that not all children were that lucky. I know he was referring to himself."

"What were your responses to these events Ana?"

"Well with the nightmare, I assured him that he keeps us both very safe and that I never have to worry about anything happening. I also told him that he was so much stronger no then he was before and that his son loved him and felt safe with him."

"How did Chrisitan respond to that?"

"He was still lost so I made him face it and show himself that Teddy loved him and felt safe."

"How did you do that?"

"I made Christian take his shirt off; I took Teddy's pajamas off and left him in a diaper and then placed him on Christian's chest and made him hold Teddy."

"Really?" John asks surprised. "And how did that go?"

"Well as I am sure you can imagine Christian was scared and panicked but I talked him through it, he calmed slowly and finally looked down at his son who of course was looking up at him and Christian relaxed completely, Teddy fell back asleep against his Daddy."

John Smiles and nods. "You did well Ana. How about what happened after Elena and the benefit?"

"Well that I explained to him that yes Ella is his mom but that Grace is his Mother. I reminded him that he told me he felt safe with Grace and Carrick. I told him how even now Grace protects him by reminding him of his birthday party last year and the confrontation there. He came around and smiled he does acknowledge that Grace is his mother, but he still has not dealt with the hurt he feels from birth mom and that I think is our big problem."

"What makes you think that it is a problem?"

"A couple reasons."

"Care to share?"

I take a deep breath.

"Well I am know that Chrisitan heard most of the exchange between Elena and I. She said things about him not being a good father and that would fail, she sent him a 'congratulatory' basket on becoming a father and told him that she would be waiting for him when he failed as a father."

"Ok and how did Christian react to that?"

"Well he was quiet."

"Quiet?"

"Yes well I….I got upset John, I yelled at security and I yelled at Christian, I told him that I would not allow her to make him think he was a bad father or doubt himself, I would not allow her to bring him back to dark side. It will not happen, John."

"I must say Ana, I am quite impressed with how authoritative you have become. Christian told me briefly about the benefit and the way you handled yourself and the way you dealt with the security. I also like the way you are helping him through his issues. But I have to ask why do you think he needs to confront his birth mom? I mean don't get me wrong I agree completely that this is an issue that Christian needs to work through but why now?"

"Because I am afraid for him."

"Afraid?"

"Yes John I think no I know he still doubts himself, and I have no doubt that Elena knows this as well and will try to get to him."

"Ok, but there is something else you are not telling me, I can see it on your face."

John and I stare at each other for a few moments.

I nod. "It was last night." I take a deep breath trying to control the tears that are threating to fall.

"Last night I woke up and Chrisitan was not in bed, I heard him talking to Teddy through the monitor, but I could not make out what he was saying. I climbed out of bed to find out what was going on. When I reached the door I froze at the sight before me. Christian was on the floor Teddy in his arms which were propped up by his knees, he was rocking his knees back and forth. Christian was crying a little, I could tell by the rasp in his voice. His gaze on Teddy. He never knew I was there." The tears fall as the image from last night crosses my mind.

"What did he say?"

"He was saying sorry to Teddy."

John looks at me questioningly

"He was apologizing to Teddy for being his father, telling him that he deserved better. He told Teddy that he loved him more than words could possibly say and that we would protect him forever, but that he was sorry he did not get a better father then him." I sob.

"John it broke my heart to hear him say those words. He needs to know that he is an amazing husband and that his son could not ask for a better father. He needs to know that his past does not have to affect him so much. He needs to focus on what he did have, which was a loving caring family with Grace and Carrick and not on what he did not have with his birthmother. I think if he acknowledges that he did love her instead of insisting she meant nothing it will help. I know that he is who he is because of his past and I love him with all my heart for that. I know that aspects of his early childhood fuel him to never be hungry and to keep the ones he loves safe. And it's all because he could keep himself and his mother safe."

"Ana you said that Christian did not see you last night."

I shake my head. "No he didn't I left went back to our room to compose myself before I went back in there to nurse Teddy, by that point Chrisitan had moved to the chair just rocking him. I did not ask why he was there because it has not been un-common for me to find Christian standing over his crib watching him sleep or just rocking him."

"And Christian did not bring it up ether?"

"No."

"John he is putting his focus back on me, he was worried about my appointment with you, he thought that I was hurting emotionally for some reason, that I was hiding things from him. He asked me not to leave him. John I have not given him any reason to think that. I told him that you just wanted to see how I was coping with everything. Ok so I was keeping the real reason I am here from him but I will tell him tonight, I just need to talk to you first get your opinion on this whole thing. I don't want to push him if the time isn't right. I just don't want him to be hurting anymore. It kills me that he still thinks so little of himself, even after everything we have been through."

"Well Ana you know his issues stem from him feeling like he was not good enough for his mom to protect. It's all part of his self-abhorrence. Now you and I both know that Christian has come a very long way since he met you. I do think that you are correct in your assumption that his issues with his Birth-Mother have been more evident in his mind since Teddy was born."

I nod in agreement.

"You need to discuss this with Christian and suggest a joint session with me if that makes it easier for you. Ana you have been doing splendidly in supporting him and making him see things for what they are making him realize what he has. You are his biggest support and who he will always turn to in times of crisis. Yes he wants to make sure you and Ted are always safe but when it comes down to it you are his rock. I support you 100% in this. Bring it up gently, and make your points clear make sure he hears you and knows where you are coming from. You know he will most likely shut it down and get very quiet. Just know he will need time to process everything you are telling him. Just take it slow. I will be here for you if you need me and as I understand I will be meeting with Christian tomorrow, so I will be able to discuss this with him tomorrow as well."

I continue to nod, listening to everything John is saying.

"You really think this is a good idea as well.' I ask once again for reassurance

"I do Ana, I don't think Christian could ever face these issues before, he needed a reason and a support system he is willing to accept. You are both those things and so is Teddy, having Christian realize he needs to work through this for his son just might give him the strength to do so and with you loving him unconditionally through it is exactly what he needs. You are very strong Ana, and you have proven that time and time again. Stay that way. Christian will need you."

I smile.

"Thanks John that's what I needed to hear, I just needed the reassurance that I am not pushing him too much. I will talk to Christian tonight; hopefully we can come in a couple days for a joint session."

"I look forward to it Ana. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thanks John I will you do the same and please tell Rhian I said Hello."

"I will."

I make my way back out into the waiting room where Sawyer is and we go back down to the car.

Once settled I send a quick text to Christian

_On my way home. Everything is fine. I love you see you tonight A X_

_Glad to hear. Miss you. I love you too. I will be home in a few hours. C X_

On the way home my mind keeps going over everything John and I talked about most of it I had already figured out. I just needed to know I was doing the right thing. I am nervous about talking to Christian tonight. I am just not sure how he is going to react. Hopefully this will be a calm conversation but you just never know with him. I am so caught up in my thoughts that I don't even notice we are home until Sawyer has opened my door.

"Oh Thank you Luke I didn't notice we were home."

"No Problem Ana. Is everything ok?"

"Yes everything is fine just lost in my thoughts that's all." I smile and make my way into the house.

The rest of the afternoon goes by like normal. I manage a small nap while Teddy is sleeping, we play and read. I am snuggled on the couch with my son listening to music and talking to him when Christian walks in the door.

"This is what makes it all worth it." He smiles as he comes over to the couch.

"Long day?" I smile in return placing Teddy in his bouncy seat on the floor and standing to greet my husband.

He slips arms around my waist and pulls me close. He buries his nose in my hair and inhales deeply.

"My day just got a thousand times better." He breathes into my hair and holds me tight.

I pull away slightly. Our eyes lock and I can see he is struggling with something. He leans down and kisses me. The kiss is intense and possessive. We break apart completely breathless.

"Well that was quite a Hello." I pant "Baby what's wrong?"

"Nothing big, just a shitty day at the office, nobody knows how to fucking do their jobs, I just felt like I was yelling at everyone all day. All I wanted to do was come home to you and our son but I could not leave the place in such a mess." He sighs

I tighten my hold on him knowing that this is what he needs. After a few more moments Teddy starts to fuss.

"I think you son misses his Daddy." I smile against his chest.

"Well I know that his Daddy missed him." Christian kisses the top of my head and releases me to pick up Teddy.

"Hello my son. How was your day? I missed you so much today." He kisses Ted and snuggles him close.

I leave them for a few minutes giving Christian a chance to relax a bit. I make my way to the kitchen to see if Gail needs help with dinner.

We have just finished putting Teddy to bed and are curled up in bed ourselves.

"How was your appointment with Flynn?"

"It was fine Christian." I have tensed slightly

"Ana whats wrong? You know you can talk to me."

"Nothing the appointment went well, I just need to talk some thoughts trough with Flynn first before you and I talked."

"Why did you need to talk to him first?" I can hear a little bit of hurt in his voice.

"I needed to make sure I was not overstepping and that the timing was right."

"You are not making any sense Ana."

I move to sit up and turn to face Christian he sits up as well.

"Christian I need you to promise me that you will listen to what I have to say with and open mind and not get upset."

He looks at me and I can see fear, panic and my lost boy staring at me.

"Your leaving me." He says so softly I almost could not hear him

"Christian!" I grab his face and make him look at me. I kiss him softly.

"I am not leaving you. Stop jumping to that conclusion." I state firmly

"Promise me Christian you will listen to what I have to say."

He nods his head. "I promise."

"Baby, I love you more than you know. You are an amazing husband and a wonderful father, I can't ever imagine my life without you nor do I want to." I lean in and kiss him again.

"Christian I went to talk to Flynn today because I am worried about you." A look of shock and confusion crosses his face

"Ana why are you worried about me what's going on."

"Baby, I think that its finally time that you work through the issues surrounding you birth mom."

He freezes and I can feel him tense.

"Ana…." His voice stern

"No Christian. Listen. I know that ever since we found out about Teddy you have been doubting yourself as a father which is absolutely ridiculous. Look I know that this is something that is really difficult for you and you have put it off for so long."

"Ana I just don't know if I can."

"Baby, I will be here for you the whole time. You have come so far, in learning how to accept the love all around you. The last thing I ever want you to do is doubt your abilities as a father because quite frankly you could not be a better father to Teddy. The problem is all of your self-doubt comes from still not feeling worthy and that all stems from your birthmother. Christian I want…no need you to think about it. We can go see Flynn together if you'd like. He thinks this is a good idea too. I told him about this morning and about the benefit. I really think you need this baby, I think it will help you understand and come to terms with you early childhood."

"Ana I understand perfectly fucking well my early childhood. I was born to a crack whore who cared more about her next high and how to get it then she did about me. I fucking understand that she did not love me enough to protect me from her pimp or to make sure I had food. Why do you think I work so hard to make sure I never have to feel fucking hungry again and to make sure that you and our son will never ever have to endure anything like that. All of this shit is in the past and I don't want to bring it up understand." He says his voice full of venom and hate.

"No Christian it isn't." Tears fill my eyes. I grab his face and make him look at me. I can see the pain in his eyes.

"It affects you every single day. I see you feeling sorry for yourself sometimes when you hold Teddy because you know that Teddy has more love around him then you felt as a small child. The last thing I want you to feel is hurt Christian, it breaks my heart when I hear you tell Teddy how lucky he is to have a mom like me and when you swear to protect him from ever being hurt like you were. Christian you need to deal with it and realize that your past does not have to dictate who you are, you are nothing like your mother and that the small part of your life spent with her does not have to ruin the life you have now."

I climb onto his lap. "Baby just think about it, talk to Flynn tomorrow. We can talk more about it tomorrow night or we can see Flynn together, whatever you need. Just promise me you will think about it."

We stare into each other's eyes for a very long time. I can see the internal struggle he is having. My eyes pleading with him, showing him unconditional love and support.

He sighs and we are forehead to forehead.

"Ok" he whispers.

I kiss him softly. "Thank you. I love you so much Christian."

"I love you too Ana, So much." He kisses me and the kiss is deepened and we are lost to each other.

I awake in the middle of the night to find my husband missing from our bed. I knew he would wake up tonight and I know I will find him in our son's room. Sure enough Christian in walking around the room with Teddy he has just started to fuss.

"Christian? Are you ok?"

"Yeah I am fine, I was just going to come get you, I think our son is hungry."

"Well bring him here." I settle into rocker.

Christian bring him to me and we get comfortable and Teddy begins to nurse. Christian is at the book shelf searching for a new book to read. He has decided on 'Guess How Much I Love You' he settles into the opposite rocker and reads to Teddy. I think this is one of my favorite things that Christian does with Teddy. He reads to him every night several times a night and I think it's just so precious. Once teddy is asleep and back in his cradle we make our way back to bed. Christian remains quiet he gently pulls me into his arms and buries himself in my neck.

"Baby, are you sure you are ok?"

"Yeah" he says softly

"Christian I did not mean to upset you earlier." I turn to face him.

"I know baby you didn't really. But you are right this stuff has been on my mind more lately and I think that it could be why I have sort of been avoiding Flynn. I am afraid to confront it all.'

"I know Christian I know, but remember you don't have to do it alone. I will be here when every you need me."

"I know Ana, that's one of the many reason I love you. We will see how it goes with Flynn tomorrow."

"Ok Love."

"Sleep now my sweet Ana." He kisses my forehead and I snuggle into him.

"I love you Christian."

"I love you too Ana."


	18. Don't Hate Me Because I Love You

A/N: Hi all, Thank you all so much for the help with the last couple chapters. Thank you so much for the reviews they really do keep me going and make me smile at each one. Some of you have mentioned that Christian is not "our Christian" and you are absolutely correct. Christian is teetering on the edge to the dark side again; he is struggling with some inner demons and a weakness he never really understood. We are going to see Christian's temper explode a lot the next couple chapters and he is going to be confused and yes emotional as he struggles through this and fights to get back to our fifty. We are going to see Ana continue to be the strong one and watch him depend and lean on her much more than we ever imagined. I hope you continue to enjoy and as always I love your input/ideas and suggestions! Love ya!

**Christians POV**

I have just gotten out of the department head meeting. The one that got rescheduled because my beautiful, amazing wife surprised me, a smile springs to my face at the memory. God I miss my wife and son. I really hate leaving them every morning. I wish I could spend every waking moment with them but I have to provide for them, hell who am I kidding I have more than enough money to provide for them for the rest of our lives and Teddy's life and his children's lives and so on. Ok so I admit I like the thrill of the chase, I love buying a business that's about to go under and turn it around. I love being in control, being able to do as I please and not have to answer to anyone in the business world. I fucking love the control it gives me. But if I am being honest it all means shit compared to Ana and Teddy. I would gladly give everything up for them to protect them. All that I have means so much more with Ana by my side and I know I am one very luck son of a bitch…Son of a bitch…

"FUCK!" why did my mind have to go there?

I am instantly back to the conversation Ana and I had last night she wants me to try and confront my issues with the crack whore, I tried to tell Ana that it's all in the past but as usual she can see the truth she is right. I live with it every day it fuels who I am and why I need to be in control and why I need to protect her and Teddy. But it also shows me that I can never be the father that Teddy deserves and that breaks my heart into a million pieces. He will never be able to love me when he gets older because I will never be enough for him. I can't be the father he is going to need and that hurts knowing that I will disappoint my son. FUCK NO! I am better than this. Ana has told me time and time again that I am a good father and that Teddy loves me, why can't I see this. Does it really have something to do with the crack whore? I wonder if Ana is right, If I confront this and deal with the issues will I trust myself more? Fuck if I know. Thank god I have an appointment with Flynn, I need to sort this shit out! I look at the clock and I still have an hour before my appointment. I just need some space. I grab my phone and jacket.

"Taylor."

"Sir." Taylor steps from his office in to the lobby.

"I am going for a drive before I go to my appointment."

"I'll get the car sir."

"No Taylor. I need some space I'll be back this afternoon."

"Sir I don't think….."

"Taylor I am going alone. I will be back this afternoon."

"Yes sir."

I jump in the car and head out. I really have no destination I just drive. I know I have a lot to discuss with Flynn. My mind just won't stop. Is this something I am ready to do? Is it even a good idea? Will confronting my past make me less fucked up? What Ana doesn't know is that it's not just the shit with my birth mom. The card from Elena flashes through my mind and so does the argument she had with Ana. Maybe she is right after all. Maybe I can never fix my issues, what if I do fail as a father, what if I just can't handle it all and Ana is the one who leaves me? I know that I would never ever leave her, she is my world, my life, my reason for living, but I also know that she will do whatever she has to do to take care of Teddy and if I fail as a father she will take my son and leave. NO! I can't think like that. I will not fail, Ana won't let me. I won't let me. I will be a good father to my son. I have to be. FUCK! I have to get to Flynn's. I turn off and make my way back towards his office.

I pull into the garage at Flynn's office, I still have a few minutes. I rest my head on the steering wheel and take a deep breath, trying to organize my head. I am startled by a knock on my window, I look up and there stands Elena. What the fuck is she doing here? I climb out of the car.

"Elena what the Fuck do you want and how the FUCK did you find me?" I growl

"I called your office to try to talk to you, spoke to a sweet girl by the name of Olivia. She told me you had left the office for a Doctor's appointment, I know you don't see a doctor other than your mother so naturally I assumed you were coming to see Flynn." She states nonchalantly

"What do you want Elena. I thought I had been perfectly clear that I don't want to see, speak or have anything to do with you." I snap

"Christian I want to talk to you about the little conversation Ana and I had at the….."

"You mean the one where you told MY WIFE that I would leave her. That I did not love her or my son and that she would never be good enough for me, that conversation?!" I shout at her

"Christian you and I both know that your marriage will not last and you are not really happy, how could you be? We both know that your need to control and exert your dominance will eventually consume you and you will realize that your _precious Ana_ will never be enough for you. You will come back to me Christian. You always come to me. That will never change."

"Elena when will you finally get it through your fucking head? I don't want you. I will never ever return to that world. I love Ana and she loves me. Ana has given me a life I never thought was possible. She showed me how to love and helped me become the man I am today. I am a much better man with Ana then I was or will ever be with you." My voice low, and menacing

She laughs that cold evil laugh of hers.

"Oh Christian stop fooling yourself, We both no know Ana could never measure up to me, and that…that _child_ of hers well we both know that you are not capable of loving that thing. Just look at your past. Your mother was not capable of loving you she chose drugs and her pimp over you. Do you honestly think if she loved you at all she would have let her pimp abuse you the way he did. You can't possibly love a child you don't know how and as for Grace and Carrick, they only felt sorry for you. They could never love you because they don't know who you are. We both know that if they ever found out they would no longer tolerate you in their family, when you finally realize this and leave Ana she will be left with nothing. You will leave her Christian, she is trying to force a life upon you that we both know you are not capable of having. I am the only one who understands you and I know what you need. I will be waiting for you when you finally come to your senses and then we can finally be happy."

"FUCK YOU ELENA"! I scream

"Listen to me very carefully. I will never, fucking never leave Ana. I love her more than you could even fathom. She has changed my life. Ana has given me the most precious gift in the world. My son. I love my son more than life itself and will do everything in my power to make sure they are both safe. Ana is everything good and you well you are everything evil. I thought I made it perfectly clear to you that night at the bar that I no longer want anything to do with you. Stay away from me and my family. I am happy not that I expect you to understand that concept."

"I did not hear you deny the fact that you will fail as a father Christian. Keep that in mind." She smirks as she walks away.

"I am a good father." I say firmly but not with as much conviction as I should. Her words play through my head; I know they are not true. I know that Ana loves me; I know I am a good father. I know I am capable of love, but her words mess with my head. I can't think straight. I feel very out of control. I jump back into my car there is only one place I can go that will make me feel better. Only one person who can help me regain my control. ANA I have to get to MY ANA!

ANA'S POV

I have just put Teddy down for his nap and have decided to curl up in the library with a book and just relax. I really hope that Christian's appointment with Flynn goes well, but I can't help this nagging feeling. Perhaps I am just tired who knows. I am sure everything will be fine. I have just settled in on the couch when I hear screaming.

"ANA" I hear Christian yelling my name. What the hell is he doing home? "ANA" I hear him yell again. He is going to wake up Teddy. I open the door he is over by the stairs.

"CHRISTIAN!" I snap

"Keep your voice down. What are you doing home?"

He turns towards my voice and the look in his eyes makes my breath hitch, my hear race and my face pale. What is wrong?

He moves towards me with a determination I have not seen in him before. He reaches me pulls me to his body crushing me to him and his lips claim mine, and his kiss is needy, begging, desperate. I wrap my arms around him comforting him, returning his kiss with all the love I have for him. Christian breaks our kiss both of us gasping for air.

"Baby what's wrong? Why aren't you with Flynn?"

"I am going to fuck you now" he growls

Looking into his eyes I see his dom gaze. I don't know what's wrong or what has happened but the look I see he needs to be in control. I know I can give him this, not only is this a way of making him forget, or bringing him to the here and now but this is his way of regaining his control.

"Yes Sir" I whisper.

His lips crash on to mine, he grabs my ass and lifts me up I wrap my legs around his waist as he walks us back into the library and kicks the door closed. We fall on to the couch. I undo his tie and pull his shirt from his pants. He breaks away.

"NO" he states. My breathing is rapid, panting. He undoes his pants and drops them and his boxers. Next he rips my shirt off and yanks my jeans down. His hands rip through my panties. I gasp.

"Christian."

"I am going to fuck you fast and hard Ana." he states. He falls back on top of me, lips claiming mine, rough, determined. I warp my hands around his neck. "NO" He growls

He grabs them and pins my wrists above my head holding them in place with one hand. My legs wrap around him again. He thrusts in sharply with no warning causing me to cry out. Christian groans. He sets a pace that is rough, hard, fast, needy the look on his face is determination as he drives into me.

"Oh God Christian…." I scream out his pace is brutal. It feels good, wild, and animalistic.

"Ana…Fuck….Ana"

He continues relentlessly. Harder. Faster. I hear him growling with each thrust. My body accepting his assault. Climbing higher and higher the trembling beginning. I am close.

"Christian…Christian…"

"Fuck Ana…..I need you to fucking come for me Ana…..COME NOW!" he cries out

His pace increases his moves are wild. I can't hold it any longer.

"FUCK CHRISTIAN!" I scream out as my body bows off the couch shaking as my orgasm races through my body.

"FUCK YES ANA….MY ANA!" he screams out. His body tenses and I feel him explode inside me then he falls on top of me, releasing my hands. I wrap my legs and arms around him as tight as I can. Trying to comfort him as much as possible as we both pant trying to catch our breath. His face is buried in my neck and I press kisses to his shoulder through his shirt, I slide one hand up and down his back as the other strokes the back of his head cradling him to me.

Our breathing is slowing Christian is still buried against my neck.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I ask softly

I can feel him tense against me. He lifts his head and scans my face, he won't look me in the eye.

"Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" he as softly he gently kisses my forehead and slides out of me making me wince.

"I am fine Christian. Are you ok?" he nods still won't meet my gaze he pulls his pants back on.

"I have some work to do. I'll be in my study." He states and walks out the door, leaving me to pull my pants on and wrap my top half in a blanket.

I make my way upstairs to find another shirt. My head swimming trying to wrap itself around what just happened. Throwing on a T-shirt I decide I need to call Flynn and find out what I am up against. I stop to check on Teddy who is still asleep. I head back downstairs as my phone is in the library. Gail stops me in the living room.

"Ana I don't mean to alarm you but Jason says he hasn't heard from Mr. Grey in a couple hours he said that Mr. Grey went for a drive then to his appointment with Dr. Flynn and was supposed to be back at the office but Mr. Grey hasn't returned, and Jason can't reach him on his cell." She states rather worriedly.

"Relax Gail. Christian is here. I will call Taylor and let him know." I say as I rub her shoulder.

I grab my phone from the Library and call Taylor.

"Mrs. Grey I don't want you to be alarmed…"

"Taylor" I interrupt him "Chrisitan is here, he has been home for about an hour, what's going on? I need to know what I am dealing with."

"Ma'am your guess is as good as mine. Mr. Grey said he needed to go for a drive, then he would go see Dr. Flynn and meet me back in the office, he should have been back 45 minutes ago."

"Ok Thanks Taylor, I will call Flynn and see if he has some insight. Why don't you come home, I am pretty sure that Chrisitan won't be returning back to the office he is locked away in his study at the moment."

"Yes ma'am."

I hang up with Taylor and dial Flynn next. I get his secretary.

"Hi this is Ana Grey I need to speak with Dr. Flynn right now."

"Ma'am is he expecting your call?"

"I don't know if he is or not will you just put me through to him. Please." I soften my voice slightly.

"Ana?"

"Hi John, I am calling to find out how your appointment with Christian went this afternoon."

"Ana, Christian never showed up for our appointment. Have you heard from him?"

"He never showed? Taylor said he left about an hour before your appointment to go for a drive then said he was meeting with you and then would be back at the office."

"Has anyone heard from him?"

"Yes John. He is here safe at home. He came home about an hour ago. He was, still is in a strange mood. He was very determined shall I say. He looked as though he had lost control, he was almost desperate."

"Anything major happen?"

"No not really I brought up what you and I had discussed. He agreed to think about it and talk to you so I am wondering why he never showed up."

"Well let me know if you need me, I will keep my phone on all evening. Call me if there is an issue."

"I will John thanks."

"Good bye Ana."

"Good bye John"

Ok so this is very strange, Christian never flakes on an appointment with out some kind of notification. I walk towards his study and knock on the door. Nothing. I take a deep breath and open the door not really sure what I am walking into. I stop when I see Chrisitan. He is sitting in his chair, elbows propped on his desk, face buried in his hands. I take another step in and close the door. He has no idea I am even here.

"Christian?" I ask softly

Silence.

Moving a little closer. "Baby?" He snaps his head up

"Ana. I'm busy." His eyes cold.

"Whats going on Christian?"

"Nothing is going on. Leave. I am working."

"Huh you could have fooled me."

"What do you want Ana?" his voce low cold as well.

"I want to know what's wrong, Taylor was worried when you did not come back to the office and now I find out you didn't go see Flynn. What's got you upset?"

"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!" he shouts running both hands through his hair his eyes blazing. "WHAT THE FUCK IS EVERYONES PROBLEM WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING KEEN ON TELLING ME WHAT I CAN AND CAN NOT DO AND WHAT I AM FUCKING CAPABLE OF! I AM A GROWN FUCKING MAN AND A GODDAMN BILLIONAIRE I CAN DO WHATEVER I FUCKING DAMN WELL PLEASE. DID YOU FUCKING CALL MY MOMMY ASWELL ANA. TRYING TO SNOOP THROUGH MY BUSINESS YOU HAD NO FUCKING RIGHT TO CALL TAYLOR OR FLYNN!

I stand there stunned for just a moment before my anger takes over.

"What the Fuck is your Problem Chrisitan? Huh?" my voice loud but not as loud as his. "Taylor called Gail since I left my phone in the library to see if I had heard from you because you were missing. MISSING CHRISTIAN! Maybe you forgot the hell you put everyone through the last time you were missing. You told Taylor you were going for a drive then to Flynn then back to the office which obviously did not happen. I called Flynn to see how the session went so I had some idea of what I would be dealing with and he tells me you were a no call no show, he was worried as well. You come home screaming my name. You fuck me like you were desperate and I can see in your eye that something was wrong you were lost and needed control so I gave it to you now you want to stand here and accuse me getting into your fucking business? I don't fucking think so Christian Grey. Something is up and you won't tell me. ME your wife who you should be able to tell everything too, but no once again you shut me out. Well whatever Christian be pissed off at the world. But don't ever and I mean FUCKING EVER get pissed off at me for loving and caring about you!" With that I spin on my heels and storm out of the office.

My blood is boiling at the moment. I have no idea what the hell is going on. I need to go check on Teddy I am sure he will wake up any moment. I head towards the stairs and see Gail coming down with him.

"He woke up while you were in the study with Mr. Grey. I haven't fed him yet would you like me too?"

"No thank you Gail. I will feed him. I need some time with my son to calm me down. Thank you for the offer.

"What time would you like dinner Ana?"

"I am starving actually say half an hour?"

"Ok will Mr. Grey be joining you?"

"Um I don't know go ahead and set a place for him just in case."

"Sure thing Ana. See you in a little while."

"Thanks Gail."

I finish feeding Teddy, Change his diaper and get him dressed in his pajamas. I really am hungry and I have no idea whether or not my husband will be joining us for dinner. At this moment I couldn't care less ether way. Something happened today to put him in this mood and he either needs to start talking to me or to Flynn. I will not tolerate him being pissed at me for caring about him especially after his stunt in the library, don't get me wrong _I need to possess you now_ sex is hot, really hot but to act the way he did afterwards is unacceptable.

Gail has dinner ready by the time I make my way back to the kitchen. Placing Teddy in his bouncy seat on the counter, I take a seat. I grab my phone from my pocket and send a text to Christian.

** Dinner is ready if you're interested. I am eating now. **

I get no response.

"Any word from Mr. Grey?" Gail asks politely as she places my dinner in front of me.

"No Gail looks like I will be eating without him tonight."

She nods with a reassuring smile.

"Gail has Taylor made it home yet?"

"Yes, I believe he is in his office, would you like me to get him for you?"

"If you wouldn't mind that would be great."

"No Problem I will be right back."

A few moments' later Taylor and Gail re-appear

"You wanted to see me Ma'am?"

"Yes Taylor, I want to know if there is a way to track where Christian went today after he left the office. Where ever he went something happened and he is in a horrible mood and I have no rhyme or reason as to figuring out what his problem is and he won't talk to me about it."

"Well actually, no ma'am I can't trace where he has been. Only if his car/phone has stopped or is on the move."

I frown well that doesn't really help.

"Did anything unusual happen at the office today that might begin to explain his mood?"

"No Ma'am he had a meeting this morning and then just said he was going for a drive, stating he needed to clear his head and would return after his appointment with Dr. Flynn."

"Ok thanks Taylor. I am sorry for any extra stress my idiotic complicated husband caused you today with his little disappearing act."

"It's ok ma'am I am just glad he is ok. I am sorry I can't be more of help. Perhaps just give him time and space he will come around."

"Thanks Taylor. Gail you and Taylor take the rest of the night off, I will clean the kitchen. It appears my husband is going to stay holed up in his office for the rest of the night. I will see you both in the morning."

"Are you sure Ana?" Gail questions

"Yes I am. I will be fine. Go enjoy some quiet time with each other."

"Thank you. Call if you need anything. Good Night Ana."

"Good night ma'am"

"Goodnight Taylor, Gail."

I finish my dinner talking with my son. As I am cleaning up the kitchen I make a plate for Christian. I may be mad at him but he still needs to eat, he going to need strength if we are going to go another round. Once the kitchen is clean I warm up Christian's food and gather Teddy in my arms and the plate in the other. Heading towards his study, my stomach is in knots, I really don't want to be yelled at again, but I also know he won't yell with Teddy in the room, at least I hope he won't.

I knock.

"WHAT?!" he snarls

I open the door slowly and step in. His face still buried in his hands.

"Christian."

He head snaps up and I can so many emotions in his eyes and on his face, sorrow, fear, anger, rage, defeat, remorse, confusion, but mostly his eyes look apologetic as they meet mine.

"I know you're pissed at me for reasons I can't even fathom. Seeing as how I am pretty sure you did not have lunch today I figured you could use some dinner. I will just leave this here."

He nods. "Thank you Ana."

I nod my head and walk out. Once outside the closed door I let out a deep breath.

"Well Teddy bear that could have gone a lot worse." I kiss him.

I grab my book from the library and put it in our bedroom then go to Teddy's room, we play for a little while and then settle down to nurse. Once he is finished we rock for a while it's just so relaxing to be here with him and I quietly sing him to sleep. I can feel his presence at the door. I turn my head to look at him; he is leaning against the door frame just watching us. Our eyes lock for a few moments; I break our gaze and return it to our son. I stand up with him and giving him a goodnight kiss I place him in his cradle. Christian has stepped into the room just watching me. I go to walk past him he grabs my hand and I stop. I look up into his eyes and squeeze his hand and let go heading to our bedroom. I can hear him telling Teddy goodnight and I love you.

I am getting ready for bed I have pulled on pajama bottoms and one of Christian's shirts and climb into bed. Christian has come into the room, goes into the closet and come out in his pajama bottoms and nothing else. He finally climbs into bed, still not a word was spoken. We are both sitting against the headboard. He reaches down and grabs my hand and brings it to his lips.

"Ana. I am sorry. Really, really sorry."

I squeeze his hand gently but remain silent. He needs to open up to me.

"I should not have yelled at you. I know you are just worried about me. I am not mad at you for any reason what so ever. I feel like an ass, especially after what happened in the library I had no right to treat you the way I did. I love you with all my heart and to yell at you the way I did was un-acceptable. You had every right to talk to Flynn and Taylor. I called Flynn and apologized for missing the appointment today, I have rescheduled for tomorrow and I would like you to come if that is ok with you. You have every right to know what happened today."

I take a deep breath.

"Christian I am just worried about you. When you first came home I saw that look in your eyes, I knew what you needed I just did not know why. Don't get me wrong it was hot and sexy as hell but it also worried me I knew something was terribly wrong."

He just nods his head. I shift so that I am now straddling his lap and cup his face.

"Baby, I love you with all my heart and soul, whatever it is we will get through this. We will be ok. I am here for you always and forever, please understand that."

"Do you still love me even though I was an ass to you today?"

"Christian Grey that is a stupid question of course I do. Why do you think I was so angry after you yelled at me? I love you so much that I never want you to be hurting. I hate when I can't take away your pain."

"I do love you Ana. I love that you worry about me. It makes me feel loved and cherished by you. I am sorry again for being an ass. Do you forgive me?"

"Face it Christian this was not the first time you have been and ass and it won't be the last time either, but yes I forgive you." I lean in and seal our lips, his arms wrap around my waist holding me to him.

"Christian do you really want me to come with you to see Flynn?"

"Yes, I do. I need you to be there."

"Ok then I will be there."

"Thank you."

He seals our lips again this time the kiss becoming deeper, intense more urgent. I know what's coming it's his way of making sure we really are ok. I am still very worried about him but I know that I will find out tomorrow. Tonight it's just us. Christian moves so that I am laying back on the bed and he is hovering over me. I feel my core clenching in need for him, my breath panting as he breaks the kiss his eyes searching mine for an answer. I pull him down to me.

"Please" I whisper against his lips and claim them again.

His hand slides down my side to hem of my shirt and back up under skimming across my skin until he reaches my breast and begins to massage. I moan. His mouth moves to my neck.

"So beautiful" he breaths against my skin

He pulls me up sitting and lifts the shirt over my head, then trailing kisses down my neck and body he lays me back down. He softly sucks one breast until I am writhing beneath him and he moves to the other

"Christian" I moan

He trails kisses across my abdomen and down he slide my pants and panties off and trails kisses up and down my legs, my breathing is shallow as he worships my body. He slides his pants off as well and kisses his back up my body. I can feel him hard against my leg, I reach my hand down and grasp him, soliciting a moan from deep in his throat, I begin to caress him. His hand skims up my leg until he reaches the apex of my thighs. I gasp at his touch. His lips claim mine again as he begins to slowly circle my clit.

I begin to whimper. Slowly he slips two fingers inside me and begins to massage, my body bows off the bed as I groan and my inner muscles clench around his fingers.

"Always so ready My Ana."

"Christian. I need you."

He withdraws his fingers and moves to hover over me causing me to release him. Our eyes lock.

"I love you Ana."

With that he slowly and ever so gently thrusts into me causing us both to gaps and moan at the sensation. He is completely buried inside me and remains there for several moments each of us savoring the connection. Supporting most of his weight on his forearms he begins to rock his hips slowly each move a gentle caress.

I wrap my legs around his waist my arms around his neck hands in his hair, my hips moving to meet his rhythm. I lean up and kiss his neck his shoulders I suck on his ear biting down gently and moving back to his lips.

"I love you Christian" I breathe against his lips looking directly into his eyes.

His pace has increased and I can feel myself climbing higher and higher. I can feel Christians muscles tensing as he continues to move. Small moans escaping both of us get louder as we both climb higher

"Yes….Christian…Please…yes…"

"Ana…baby…come for me baby."

"Come with me Christian" I gasp.

I need this we both need this together. I control my imminent orgasm as much as I can.

Christian's pace increases. He is moving faster, not harder just faster.

"Let go baby" he groans thrusting twice more

"CHRISTIAN!" I cry out as my body shakes and convulses beneath him

"ANA" he calls out my name like a prayer on his lips, as he reaches his own climax.

He collapses onto me as his body trembles against mine and I hold him to me as we both come down from our high.

His breathing slows and he rolls to his side allowing me to snuggle into him as he pulls the blanket over us.

"I love you Ana." He places a kiss on top of my head

"I love you too Christian" I place a kiss on his chest over his heart.

Wrapped in each other's arms we both feel the love surrounding us, both feeling safe, we know that tomorrow will be tough but together we can get through it.


	19. To Whom We Lean On and Support

**A/N: Hello my lovely fans. I know I took a little longer to update and I do apologize for making you wait. This chapter was difficult to write, it is very emotional. ***TISSUE ALER*** I also wrote it in 2 sections and had to get them to meet which was a slight struggle. Anyway this chapter is a long one so I do hope that it makes up for the long wait. There are lemons. I hope you enjoy the chapter and as always I love the reviews, I cherish them. **

****If my psychology people out there could please review and let me know who you are I may be needing some assistance with future chapters.****

**Thank you to you all for following this story. I appreciate you all so much. Without further delay…**

This morning has been a lazy morning. Chrisitan has decided not to go to work today which is both good and bad. He said he just wanted to spend some extra time with Teddy. I love the fact that he does but it just makes me worry about him more. I have to keep reminding myself that I will know what's going on in a couple hours. It does bother me that Christian could not tell me yesterday what had happened, nut because of his emotional state and mood I did not press him. We would have gotten nowhere and both been upset. He is thankful for that I know, he has been very affectionate this morning, silently thanking me for not pressing him. Gail has agreed to watch Teddy today, as Christian has booked Flynn for the entire afternoon, another reason as to why I am nervous.

Christian is waiting for me when I arrive downstairs with Teddy.

"Gail, Teddy has just been fed and of course there is breast milk in the freezer and Ryan will be here along with Taylor of course and I will have my phone on vibrate if you need me."

"Ana, relax. We will be fine." She replies with a smile.

"I know. I trust you just being a mother I guess."

"Ready Ana?" Christian asks

"Yeah I am." I grab his hand and give him a reassuring smile.

Sawyer has the car ready we figured since we are just going to Flynn's we don't need the entourage and it will be nice for Taylor and Gail to spend some time together. Since we will be there most of the afternoon Sawyer will just be dropping us off and come and get us when we are ready. I suggested this to Christian I figured depending on how today goes neither one of us should drive, he agreed.

The entire ride to Flynn is silent. Christian holds my hand the whole time. I can feel the fear, tension and apprehension radiating off him. I squeeze his hand in reassurance but he is making me more nervous. I really can't imagine what happened yesterday but I have been trying to prepare myself for the worst. We arrive at Flynn's and make our way up. Christians is fidgeting in the elevator I don't think I have ever seen him fidget before. His hand never lets go of mine. We step out of the elevator and the secretary lets John know we are here. A few moments later John opens the door to welcome us in. I hear Christian take a deep breath. As we walk toward the office. I pull Christian back slightly to stop him before we walk in he stops and turns to me eyes wide.

"Christian." I look deep into his eyes "It's going to be ok. I love you." I lean on my tippy-toes to kiss him.

He squeezes my hand in response and nods. We walk into Flynn's office. Christian leads me over to the couch, wants to sit next to me instead of the chairs opposite each other.

"Ana, Christian, how are you doing?"

"Good John. How are Rhian and the kids doing?" I ask. Christian remains silent.

"Rhian and the kids are good, how is Teddy?" John replies

"Teddy is doing well, getting bigger everyday it's really is amazing at how much we both completely adore him."

"Yes it is amazing how easy those feelings come!"

"Yes it is."

"So Christian, you sort of explained what happened yesterday. Would you like to elaborate?"

Christian nods.

"First if I may, I need to say something." Christian states

Flynn nods.

Christian turns towards me, grabbing my other hand so he now holds both.

"Ana, I need to apologize to you about yesterday. My behavior in the library was unacceptable and the way I acted in my study was shameful I should never have treated you in that way. Ana you and Teddy are my entire world and I cannot begin to express how sorry I am for making you feel bad about worrying about me. I know how I feel when worrying about you and in my head yesterday I could not rationalize that you would feel the same. Please I need you to know how so very sorry I am."

"Christian, I know you are sorry you told me last night, What happened in the library when you were so dominate & demanding, well…well baby it was hot." I say as I feel my cheeks heat. "Baby you know I like it when you exert your control, it's one of the very many reasons I fell in love with you. You didn't hurt me it was very pleasurable I knew that look of you needing the control and I was happy to give it to you, what worried me were the emotions I saw in your eyes. I could see the fear and I just did not know why it was there, I still don't. I am sure it has something to do with your reaction in your study. I forgave you last night for that outburst. Christian Grey you and Teddy are my whole world as well, baby if something hurts you it hurts me as well. If something were ever to happen to you I could not live, I would for Teddy but it would be a very cold and lonely life. I will always be here for you, as I know you are there for me, baby I need to know what has you so upset." My voice trying to remain strong despite the tears threatening to fall down my cheeks.

"I just don't want you to be disappointed in me Ana."

"Christian I won't be baby."

"Christian, why do you think Ana is going to be disappointed in you?" Flynn asks

Christian leans back into the couch, still clinging to one hand. He remains silent and his gaze shifts to his lap. He takes a deep breath.

"Because she is right. I'm going to fail." He states barely above a whisper

"Fail at what?" John probes

"I tried, I am still trying to not to believe what she said but I am just not so sure."

"Who said it and what are you trying not to believe Christian?" I ask softly squeezing his hand.

"Don't hate me." He pleads

"Baby that's never going to happen please tell me what's wrong."

he nods and takes another deep breath.

"Do you remember the gift basket I received from Elena, the one you found?"

I nod still confused.

"The card she sent along, basically telling me I would fail as a father, well I know you and I discussed and I thought I had put it behind me, ignored it because I want to believe your words to me Ana, you told me that I am a good father. Her words from the card stayed in my head, the argument you two had at the benefit stayed in my head, I have tried to fight them clear my mind, her words are not what I want to believe."

He takes another deep breath. John and I remain silent.

"Yesterday after my meeting I was thinking about what you and I had discussed, you know confronting my issues with my birthmother and my past. I was thinking about how those issues have an effect on my view of my capabilities of being a father, a good father. Her comments kept swirling around with our conversation. I needed to get away so I could organize my thoughts. I had every intention of keeping our appointment John." He meets John's gaze who nods in acknowledgement.

"Anyway, I went for a drive, got my thoughts in order and came here. I arrived a few minutes early so I took those minutes to calm myself. There was a knock on the car window when I got out Elena was there."

I can feel myself tense but keep silent. I know he has noticed my reaction as well. I place my other hand on top of his so his hand is cradled between mine, I softly rub his hand encouraging him to continue.

"We got into a heated argument. She once again stated that you were not good enough for me. That I would wake up and realize that I needed her, that our marriage would fail because it's not what I wanted. She insulted you and our family, told me that you would leave, that I could never truly love you or Teddy and that I would never be satisfied. She told me that Grace and Carrick never really loved me that they only felt sorry for me. They could never love me because they don't know about my past and when they do find out they will no longer want me in their family, but that she would be waiting for me so we could go back to the way things were before. I told her I was never going to leave you that I loved you more then she could even fathom. I told her that I would never want her and that you and Teddy are my entire world. I told her I was a good father that I did love my son."

"After she left, I felt so out of control, her words were screaming loud and clear inside my head, I felt so desperate Ana, I had to see you, to touch you, to feel you, to get lost with you, in you. You make everything better you are the one who makes me regain my control who makes my life better. I got back into the car and came home, the only thing I could think was _I need to get home to My Ana."_

The pure agony I can hear in his voice is heart-wrenching. I swear I want to kill Elena. She is trying to destroy _My Christian_. I can't let this happen. I look to Flynn, my eye pleading with him to help my husband who at the moment looks so broken.

I wrap my arms around Christian and just hold him so tight. I don't know what else to do he wraps his arms around my waist, and pulls me onto his lap. He buries his face into my neck and sobs, repeating 'I'm sorry' over and over.

I coo in his ear, rubbing his back and hair, trying to soothe him.

"Christian I have a few questions for you when you are ready." John states softly

I feel Christian take several deep breaths as he tries to regain control of his emotions. After a few more moments he has calmed. I go to move off his lap but he tightens his hold around my waist.

"No. Stay." He whispers in my ear. I settle back on his lap.

"I am ready John."

"Christian, why do you think that Elena's words have such an impact on you?" John asks simply

"What do you mean?"

"Well why are her words stuck in your head, why are those words what your mind chooses to focus on?"

"I don't know John you're the fucking shrink you tell me." Christian snaps.

"Christian" I admonish

"Ana its fine."

"I have my ideas as to why this is the case but I think it will be better when you figure it out."

"Let me ask you this Christian, when you were younger, before Carrick and Grace who did you listen to?"

"The Crack whore. She would tell me when to close my eyes or to hide and such." Flynn nods

"Ok. How about when you first moved in with Grace and Carrick?"

"Grace mostly, she was always very patient with me."

"Ok and as you got older say about 10-12 years old who did you listen too?"

"Well by that point I had a bond with Carrick so it was both him and Grace, also Elliott, I really did look up to him as my big brother."

"Ok so would you say that when anything major and serious their opinions & suggestions were the most valuable to you."

"Yes, I respected what they had to say. Even Mia."

"Ok what about right now, whose opinions do you value and Respect?"

"Ana, my parents, Elliott, Mia, Taylor, you, Ros and a few others."

"So quite a bit more then when you were a child."

"Yes"

"Why do you think that is?"

"Well I respect each and every person on that list, They are all held in my highest regards and to be honest there is not another opinion I value more than Ana's"

"Ok so when it comes to life decisions who would you go to?"

"I just told you Ana, my mom, and my dad."

"Ok so when you were about 16-17. Who did you go to with your problems and decisions, whose opinions did you seek? Parents? Elliott & Mia? Your current therapist?"

"Well naturally I continued to value my parents opinions even though I was a horrible teenager and caused a lot of stress for them I listened to their opinions, I just wanted to make them proud I just did not know how, I felt like a disappointment to them. I still did value Elliott's opinions just rarely showed it. Mia has always been the exception. Let's face it John you are the only shrink who I have ever trusted." Christian chuckles slightly.

"Fair enough." John chuckles in return

"Ok so we all know that you were hell on wheels when you were 16, but who did you trust at that age to help you deal with your life?"

"Well my parents did everything they could think of; Elliott tried to get me into sports to let off some steam. We know that did not work. Nothing really worked until….."

His body tenses, I can see the color draining from his face.

"Until what Christian?" John probes

"Elena" he chokes out.

John nods with a slight smile on his face.

"Christian I want to take a moment to talk a bit more about your relationship with Elena, if that's ok?"

Christian just nods slightly.

"Tell us about your relationship with her."

"Do you want me to step out Christian so you can discuss this with Flynn?"

"No Ana, please don't go stay here with me. I need you." He begs panic filling his face his hold around my waist still firm.

"Ok hush baby, I am here I won't go. Its ok." I kiss him gently and instantly feel him relaxing beneath me.

"When you ready baby." I say softly.

He nods taking a deep breath.

"As you know it started when I was working for her doing some yard clean up, I smart-mouthed her, she slapped me and then kissed me."

Both John and I nod.

"Well from that point she took control. Every time I fucked up she would punish me. She took me to her playroom as punishment for my drinking, every time she caught me with a drink or smelled it on my breath, she'd tie me up and hit me usually with a cane. I was to report to her my grades she made sure I studied and got back on track with school. Being such close friends with my mother she knew when I was acting out, the trouble I got into at school or home. When I would go to her house she was waiting for me to punish me then fuck me."

He shakes his head.

"I was 16 and thought this was the greatest thing in the world. For me it was the only way I could let go of the tension that I was feeling. She taught me to control my emotions and my responses; anytime I reacted I was punished. She knew where to touch me which was all I could tolerate. The only touch from her was harsh never gentle never loving, warm or kind, it was always harsh, cold, and I had no idea that it was wrong. Having no other experience in this matter I had nothing to compare it too."

I feel his body tense and he takes a deep breath.

"She would tell me that Grace and Carrick would kick me out and shun me if they knew what we did, basically securing the fact that I kept my mouth shut, that and I knew this would break Grace's heart and I could never do that to the woman who saved my life. I was afraid to lose the only people who had ever taken care of me, made me feel safe. I knew I loved them I just could not admit that to myself or them."

"Elena use to tell me I was worthless, that I would never know love, I did not deserve it. She would tell me that what we did was because I deserved it. I believed her for a long time, thinking that this is what I deserved. She at the time controlled my world. Whatever she ordered, I did. I knew I would still get punished but after that I knew we would fuck, and for a while that was worth it."

"Why did you at the time think you deserved to be treated like that?" John probes

Christian sighs.

"John we have discussed this, I did not feel worthy of the love from Grace and Carrick, I mean how could these two people love and protect me no questions asked when my own birth mother did not love me enough to protect me. The treatment from Elena felt right if matched my anger from my childhood."

Flynn nods and makes a few notes.

"Christian what was it you told me after the Hyde incident? You at one point thought Elena was your whole world? Is that why you believed her when she told you that stuff?" I ask softly

He nods. I feel Christian begin to tremble. I can see the tears welling in his eyes threating to fall.

"Christian? Baby what's wrong?"

He takes a deep breath and shakes his head slightly.

I lean into him more and kiss him softly on the lips reassuring him I am here and that I love him.

His voice rasping

"Yes I did think she was my world. It wasn't until I was about 18-19 when I started to realize that I no longer enjoyed the control she had over me. I fought her on everything and with that constant disobedience the punishments got worse, she refused to stop even if I'd safe word. The punishments continued to get worse the more I fought for control. She would not let me have it. I even tried to stop going over there and avoid her at functions and such, but that did not work. She used to call my mom and ask her for my help, knowing I did not want to disappoint Grace, I would go. The beatings were always so much more horrific, worse if I had avoided her like she had other Dom's there and I would be their play thing. Safe words with them were useless as well, they never listened. They did whatever they wanted to me, hard and soft limits meant nothing, they beat me with sticks, canes whatever they wanted to do fucked me with toys. Nothing was off limits. It was torture, begging, crying it did nothing but encourage them on. From that point I shut down on my responses and emptions, I locked everything away, shielding myself so I could not hurt anymore. I became cold."

My breathing is shallow, and tears run down my face, as his grip on my waist gets tighter. His face is screwed up with the pain of the memories.

"One day when I was about 20 I decided, I was done with the abuse and the beatings I was done having her make decisions for me. I'd had enough and I was going to take control, my whole demeanor with her had changed that day and she knew too when I walked in. She was almost proud that I had finally taken control. I took everything I had learned from her and became her Dom. She helped me with training, technique, control and such I put my all into it trying to make her feel what I did but I think she enjoyed the beatings a little too much, she got off on the pain. Anyway it was shortly after that when Linc came home early and caught us and that was the end of our sexual relationship. She continued helping me find suitable women to sub for me and told me where I could go to practice. We maintained a mutual respect for each other and developed a friendship; she was really the only one who I felt could understand me."

"It was shortly after that you made the decision to drop out of Harvard correct?" John asks patiently

"Christian who were your biggest supporters when you decided to drop out of school and start your own business?"

"Well my parents were not happy, they were pissed actually but they supported me and so did…so did Elena." He finishes that sentence quietly.

"She gave me the money to start my business."

John nods. "And what has your relationship been like since then?"

"Well until recently, she was, other than you John, my only confidante. She would help me find subs and we a sort of mutual support system for each other. Until I met Ana."

I tense at the mention of my name. My mind is racing from what I am hearing and I realize I have caused him to lose the only person he considered a friend, yes he has become much closer to his family but still does he resent me for that?

"Stop." Christian say in my ear hugging me to him.

"Stop what?" I ask

"Stop what you are thinking." He states.

I look to John who looks questionably at me.

"Ana?" John probs.

I shake my head. Christian sighs

"Ana is thinking that I blame her for losing Elena as a friend, that she forced me into something that I did not want."

"Ana is that true?" I nod slightly blushing.

"Chrisitan, what do you have to say in response to that?"

"That it's fucking bullshit!" He snaps

"Sorry" he says after feeling me jump.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Yes." He pulls my face to look into my eyes.

"Ana, I have told you time and time again. My world before you was dark, cold, ordered, controlled, simple…..Empty. The day you fell into my office, you brought with you this light and warmth that I had never experienced before. My world became, a little chaotic and uncontrollable and I have loved every single fucking minute of it. You have opened my eyes to the fact that I could really enjoy life. I have a family now, a real family not one that I would see on occasion because I felt obligated to, but one that I enjoy spending time with. You, baby, you showed me that I could be loved and you showed me how to love. You helped me accept the love and relationships between me and my family. You have also given me our family. You, me and Teddy. Nothing else in this world matters other. I would gladly give up everything else for my family." He kisses away the tears running down my cheek.

"Ana I am trying. I really am trying to be the best husband and father I can be. It's just for some reason her words stick in my head and I don't know why. Like I said I don't want them there. I am usually pretty good at not allowing most people to have an effect on my emotions but with her for some reason I can't stop them."

Christian turns to Flynn. "What do I do? How do I make that stop?"

"Well Christian, I am glad that you want to fix this and that you are looking to believe the good because I personally think that you are a wonderful father and husband. As someone on the outside, you might say, I have watched you keep everyone at arm's length. That is until Anastasia fell into your life as you say, since then I have watched you become the man that you are today. You finally opened your heart, you have worked through so much of your past, you say you did it for Ana, and to an extent you are correct you wanted to become the man you felt she deserved, the thing is Christian you were already that man, you just had to allow yourself to see that which you finally have. I have seen you with Ana and Teddy and there is no doubt in my mind that you are completely in love with your family."

"As far as not wanting to believe Elena and what she says. I want you to think about the things you just told us. I want you to talk out loud don't worry if what you're saying does not makes sense. You need to speak randomly, freely, uncontrolled, for a few moments, let you mind flow freely and you may just come up with the answer It doesn't matter if they are random words, phrases, stories, objects you associate with her, whatever just say them out loud."

"So basically you want me to ramble like an idiot." Christian snaps irritated.

"No I want you to speak freely this will allow your mind to under-think things, so to speak, give you a new perspective if you will. Just try it. It only you me and Ana. No harm."

Christian continues to glare at Flynn. I can see his mind going, I know he thinks this is absolutely ridiculous but it might help. Finally I can see his inner battle finish and he sighs. I guess he has decided to try this. I take one of his hands in mine and squeeze gently. He looks at me searching my eyes, I look at him letting him know that this is ok and I am still here. I am not going anywhere.

"Ok John. So you want me to just speak."

"Yes." Flynn replies.

Christian takes a deep breath leans back against the couch leaning his head back, he closes his eyes.

"I use to see Elena as someone safe who knew how to help me. At a time I thought I loved her. Love. Hate. Sex. Fucking. Dancing. Laughter. Chains. Whips. Canes. Pain. Humiliation. She was a confidante. Control. Subs. Dome. Training. Drinking. School. Business. Money. Helped me start my business. Support. Protective of me to a point. Hate. Cold. Harsh. Evil. Holier than now attitude. Fear. Touch. Harsh. Slap. Kiss. Secrets. Guilt. Punishment. No Emotion. Pleasure. Control. Bruises. Liar. Blackmail. Malicious. Mother's Friend. Lonely. Selfish. Persuasive. Abuse. Manipulative….." his body tenses. He has worked something out. "FUCK, FUCK, FUCKING HELL!" Christian yells out

I am frozen on his lap.

He stays quite for several moments his breathing rapid, harsh. I can tell he is pissed. I look to John who if I am not mistaken, looks slightly please with himself. He smiles slightly at me and nods. Silently agreeing with me that Christian has indeed worked something out now we just have to wait for him to share. I moved to get up and Christian lets me. I sit on the couch close to him but allowing him his space. He stays still for a few more moments then his head snaps up he gets up and starts pacing by the door. I can hear him muttering to himself making out a few words here and there. I just watch him pace he seem oblivious to the fact that John and I are here.

"How fucking dare she…I told her…..secrets…..trusted her…..used my mother….betrayed me…..made me fear…..blackmail…how did I not see it…..I allowed…..so stupid…..manipulative bitch….fucking bitch…tried to ruin….Love Ana….fucking bitch…..MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!" He is frozen his spot shoulders slumped head down.

"Christian?" John inquires.

Nothing.

I get up and move slowly to him. "Christian?" I ask softly

Nothing.

I take his hand. "Christian, Baby?"

He doesn't move but his grip tightens on my hand. I move so I am in front of him. His face slow rises to look me in the eyes. I lean up and place a gentle kiss on his lips.

"Come sit back down and tell me."

It's not really a question or a command. He nods slightly and follows me back to the couch.

Christian sits back down on the couch and pulls me on to his lap once again. His arms wrapped tight around my waist his face buried in my neck.

"Christian, Love, What did you work out?"

"I get it. It all makes perfect fucking sense." He sounds almost bewildered.

"What does baby?"

"Elena, I finally get it now. You know that night, I went to see her after you told me you were pregnant, and I told you she made a move and I recoiled from her?"

I nod and tense a bit. He shifts so I am still on his lap but he is looking into my eyes.

"I never understood exactly why until just now. I knew that it was because I no longer had feelings for her in that way and that my heart & soul, my entire being belonged to you. Baby she was manipulating me all along and I never saw it. You did, but I couldn't. I confided in her secrets that I had not told anyone, she knew about my family from my mother. She used that relationship to control me, knowing damn well I would never hurt my mother on purpose. She would threaten me to keep me quiet. After I took control she still had control over my subs, if she did not approve they never lasted long and all this time I had no idea she was doing it. You, it's you. She is threatened by you always has been always will be. You have me. She knows I love you and our son and as long as we know this she will never be in control again. Since she knows all my dark secrets and insecurities, that you know as well, she plays on them to make me doubt myself it's something I now realize she has always done. I had always listened to her because…well….I truly thought she cared as a friend after our relationship ended. It wasn't until you came into my life that I began to see what our relationship really was and until just now I never understood, it was all about control and abuse." He chokes out the last few words. He then buries his face into my side and I stroke his hair.

I sit there stunned at his revelation. I look to John who has this very proud smile on his face.

"Don't hate me Ana please." I hear him whisper

I pull his face up and look him dead in the eyes.

"Christian Grey. I do not hate you in any way shape or form. Do you understand me? I love you so much and I am so proud of you for what you have just said and figured out." With that I lean in and kiss him.

"Well Christian that was quite the ride you just took us and yourself on. How do you feel now knowing the truth?"

"I don't know John, I think I feel relieved. I know Elena's words are empty they hold no merit what so ever. I know that I love Ana and Teddy with all of my heart. I know that I would never do anything to hurt them. I think I am a good father, but baby you are going to have to keep telling me that, I still have my past that keeps me from fully accepting that." He locks his gaze to mine his eyes pleading with mine. I see relief, fear, and still self-doubt.

"You are an amazing father Christian. I love you more than I can ever express to you. We will get through all of this. Elena will never hurt you or put you through hell again. I make this promise to you here and now we will deal with her."

"My Ana, you are so amazing and strong. I love you. Thank you."

"Always strong for you baby, like I've said, I will protect what's mine." I grin throwing his words back at him once again.

He smiles slightly and kisses me softly. I lean back and look at him he looks rough and he has been through a lot today I know he is both emotionally and mentally exhausted. I bring my hands up and caress his face.

"Baby I think we should be done for the day, you did very well and I am so proud of you. But I think we need to go home and relax."

He nods softly, his eye thanking me for knowing he needs to stop.

Christian looks to John who is just watching the two of us with a smile on his face and a gleam in his eyes.

"You both have done well today and I have no doubt in my mind that the two of you will get through anything. Simply by observing the two of you today, you both lean on and support each other without questions, the trust and love that passes between the two of you proves that nothing will separate you and that you will fight for each other, with each other and protect one another. As long as you continue this you will be just fine." John grins as we both nod and stand up.

"Thank you John." Christian replies, shaking his hand.

I give John a hug, which is not normal but after today I know that this man has been a savior to my husband as well and I can't thank him enough.

"Thank you John, for everything." I can tell he gets my meaning. He nods in response.

I take Christians hand and we leave making our way down to the car.

The drive home was once again silent. I sat curled into Christian's side his hand clasped tight to mine. He just stares out the window. We pull up to the house, Christian releases my hand and walks around the car to open my door offering his hand to help me climb out. I take it and once out of the car Christian wraps me in his arms and holds me close he places a kiss on the top of my head, I wrap my arms around him hopefully offering him the comfort he is seeking, and we just stand there for a few moments. I know this is his way of thanking for this afternoon. I also know he just needs this moment of peace.

"Thank you."I hear him whisper softly against my ear.

I look up his eyes meet mine I lean up and lace a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you Christian."

He gives me a slight smile and I can see in his eyes that even after today he is full of self-doubt. He kisses my forehead and takes my hand leading me in the house.

We walk in and Gail is in the living room with Teddy laughing and playing with him.

"Look Teddy Daddy and Mommy are home." Gail tells Teddy in a soft voice.

Christian walks over to the two of them, Gail stands up and hands Ted to Christian, he nods his thanks and cuddles Teddy close to him.

"Hello my son." he whispers and walks out of the room with our son. My eyes follow him until he gone completely.

"Ana, can I get you anything to drink"

"Tea please." I reply and follow her into the kitchen.

I take a seat at the breakfast bar, and my face falls to my hands and I let out a long deep breath.

"How did the appointment go?" She asks kindly

"It went well. I think. I don't know Gail it was all very intense and emotional but I think Christian made a breakthrough. We still have a long way to go. We haven't even covered the subject of his birth mother yet. It's going to take some patience I think."

"Well Ana patience, love and support are all you need. It will be ok." I nod and smile at Gail. I just love this woman.

"Dinner will be ready shortly, chicken and mac & cheese." she says with a smile

"Also Teddy should be ready to eat and go to bed shortly he kept to his schedule well today. He is just so sweet I love him to pieces!"

"Thanks Gail you are an angel I swear! I can't express how much we appreciate you. I hope you know this."

"Yes Ana. I do. Please don't ever worry about that. Now dinner will be ready in about 10 minutes." She smiles.

"Ok I will go find my husband." I smile in return.

I walk up to the nursery and find my husband sitting in the rocker with Teddy he has him nuzzled on his chest over his heart. His eyes are closed and head is leaning back against the chair. I walk over and sit on the other side of his lap and kiss his neck his other arm wraps around me.

"Baby are you ok?"

"Yeah. Just needed this."

"Christian you are an amazing father and I will tell you every single day if that is what it takes." I kiss him on the cheek again.

"Dinner is ready."

"Ok let's go eat."

I get up and Christian follows with Teddy. We eat dinner in relative silence. I spend my time during dinner watching Christian. He has yet to put Teddy down, and Teddy is perfectly content in his father's arm which warms my heart. My mind working on a plan, to reassure my husband help him through today, I just hope he will allow it. Then plan I have in mind will be intense as well and he is going to have to give me complete trust, but I really think it's going to help him. I want to worship him the way he does me. I want him to feel loved and worthy and to know that he is my everything. I have finished cleaning up the kitchen Christian watching me still holding Teddy. We head back upstairs Teddy starting to get fussy. We both settle into the nursery Christian handing me our son so he can nurse, while Christian walks over to find a story to read to him. He comes back once again with 'You are my I Love You' I know that this has become Christian's favorite book to read to Ted.

Christian is standing over the crib, watching Teddy sleep. I get up from the chair and wrap my arms around him from behind. I turn him around to face me. I lean up and kiss him. I take his hand and lead him into our bedroom. Once in the bedroom I turn to face him kissing him and turning him and walking him backwards to the bed. I break our kiss and gently push him down on the bed he lays back and I climb on top of him straddling him.

"Christian, Do you trust me?" I ask softly

His eyes widen in surprise, staring into mine.

He nods.

I climb off him and the bed and go into my closet I grab a two of my silk scarves, and walk back out. Christian is propped on his elbows watching me come back towards him. He sees the scarves and his eyes widen even more.

"Christian I love you and I am not going to hurt you, if it gets to be too much you have to promise to tell me and we will stop ok?"

He nods again slightly.

"Baby I need to know that you trust me."

"I do." he states so softly but his eyes remain locked on mine.

I climb back onto the bed leaving the scarves on the bedside table. I push Christian back down on the bed claiming his lips with mine, controlling the kiss, meshing my tongue with his; I am now straddling his thighs as I press my body to his. He moans into my mouth. I break the kiss and trail kisses down his cheek to his neck and down.

"You. Are. An. Amazing. Man." Each word accompanied by a kiss. I reach the top button of his shirt and with my hands I slowly undo each button, placing a kiss on the patch of skin the buttons covered.

"You. Are. An. Amazing. Loving. Father." He groans in response.

I pull him up by the sides of his shirt. I claim his lips once again. Using his shirt I tug in the direction I want him to move and he follows. My hands slip under his shirt and skim all over his torso and chest.

"Go Christian I love the way your body feels against my body. Every single inch of me aches to touch you have your skin in contact with mine." I hear a soft growl in his throat. His hands caress my side. I slide his shirt off and kiss his shoulder gently biting down.

"Ana" he groans.

I push him back down on the bed and grab the scarves, kissing him I pull both his hands over his head, gently tying a scarf to each wrist not too tight but tight enough. I then take each hand and tie it to the head board. Leaning back I look into his eyes to make sure he is ok. I see apprehension in his eyes but also, trust, love and dare I say excitement.

I skim my hands back down his arms and rest them on his sides just under his arms, I lean down and kiss his neck swirling my tongue in the valley by his collar bone, I move my lips up to his ear.

"I am going to show you just how much you mean to me, I want to pleasure you Mr. Grey." I hear his breath hitch.

"I am going to worship your body baby." With that I softly bite his ear lobe and I get a very satisfactory groan from my husband.

My hands begin to slowly caress across his chest and skim across his torso. My kisses trail down his neck once again, and across his chest. Stopping to lick and kiss each scar. I feel him staring to shake under my touch.

"So perfect baby, I love the way you feel under my lips and the way you taste on my tongue."

Moving down a few inches, my lips capture one of his nipples and I swirl my tongue around the hardening peak then trail kisses to his other nipple this time nipping the firm hard peak.

"Ana." he gasps and groans.

I can feel him hard under his jeans and I begin to rock my hips against him soliciting a long moan from his throat.

My hands and lips covering every inch of his chest by the time I make it to the waist band of his jeans, his breathing is rapid and shallow and he is writhing underneath me. I sit up and take my shirt off and undo my bra sliding it down my arms, Christians gaze is fixated on my eyes and moves slowly down my body.

I lay down so my body is now pressed against him. My hands move to either side of his face.

"I love you Christian. You are an amazing man, a loving husband and wonderful father. You are everything I could have ever dreamed of and more. I want you to know and understand just how much you mean to me and how much I love you."

With that I continue my assault on his body, leaving no part of his chest and torso un-touched by my lips and hands. Slowly making my way down his body my hand rest on the very prominent bulge in his pants. My hand begins to caress him softly then I grab him through his jean and he lets out a loud growl, My other hand moving to the button and his zipper. I manage to get them both undone. I slip both my hands into his pants and boxers and grab his ass and squeeze.

"Mmm baby, I just love this ass and it's all mine to look at and squeeze and caress to touch…"

I slide his jeans and his boxers off. Standing I remove my jeans and panties as well. My hands begin to caress his feet, which, makes him writhe even more, slowly I begin caressing up his legs, trailing kisses as I go. My hands finally reach him; I take him in my hand, and squeeze gently. I am kneeling between his knees and my other hand cups his balls and I begin to massage them as my hand begins to move slowly along his length, I drop my head and place a kiss on his tip. I feel him shudder. His body screaming under my touch.

I lock my eyes with Christian and give him a wicked smile.

"Mine" I state as I lower my mouth and take him ever so slowly into my mouth.

"Fuck Ana" he cries out arching his back and trusting his hips up.

I lay an arm across his abdomen and move up and down swirling my tongue as I go, each movement soliciting a moan or a slight whimper from my husband, I know that this is more intense for him since he can't move his arms the only contact he has with me is where I choose to touch him.

"Ana…Fuck…Yes Baby…" he pants I increase my pace faster and deeper sucking harder as I go.

"Please….Ana….oooo….Fuck….I..Am..Going..To..Come.." his whole body is trembling and he is on the edge, his hips trying to buck wildly I move my hand down to cup his balls again and squeeze while at the same time baring my teeth and gently skimming them up his length.

"ANA…OH GOD…FUCK...FUCK…ANA!" he screams as his climax rips through him his whole body tenses as he explodes in my mouth, and begins shaking while I continue my attention on him until I have taken everything he has offered.

"Mmmm Mr. Grey you taste divine." I grin at him again and I see nothing now but love and lust in his eyes.

My hand still caressing him. I can feel him getting hard again and I smirk. I lay across him again claiming his lips.

Sitting up rocking my hips back and forth over his erection.

"I may not have been the first to have you, but I will be the last, I will be the only one to love you the way I do. You belong to me Christian Grey always and forever." I state seductively.

He groans. "Ana Please, I need to touch you baby, please."

"Hmmm I don't know baby, do you think you can control yourself?" I tease

"I just need to touch you baby please." He begs

I lean down again sealing our lips. I reach up and undo both the scarves; arms immediately circle my body his hands running up and down my back. I sit back up and he follows pulling one of my breasts into his mouth lavishing my nipple with his tongue making me gasp as he moved to the other one. Laying back down on tip of him, his hands move to my hips. He does not try to move me, I lift my hips and lower myself onto him very slowly savoring every inch he has to offer me. A low groan escaping both of us.

Staying perfectly still. I lock eyes with him.

"Christian I want you to repeat after me. Understand?"

He nods.

"I am a good man."

"I am a good man." He repeats. I give him a kiss

"I am a wonderful husband."

"I am a wonderful husband." Another kiss

"I am an amazing father."

"I am an amazing father." Another kiss

"Say it all." I command

"I am a good man, I am a wonderful husband, I am an amazing father."

"Again"

"I am a good man, I am a wonderful husband, I am an amazing father."

I begin to rock back and forth grinding against him. Moaning at the feel of him inside me.

"Again" I demand

"I am a good man, I am a wonderful husband, I am an amazing father."

"Christian."

"Yeah baby"

"Make love to me."

With that he flips us over so he is now on top never breaking our connection. My legs wrap around his waist.

"I love you Christian. So much."

"Ana I love you too baby."

He continues the rhythm I had set with even strokes, his body pressed to mine, we could not get closer if we tried. His pace increases faster and harder driving us higher and higher.

"God…Yes Christian…"

"Ana…Baby…yes…" he moves harder, faster every stroke filling me consuming me completely.

"Yes..Yes..ooooo…baby…baby…mmmm…please…oh god right there…right there…don't stop…ooo..don't stop…Christian…Christian…oooo….mmmm…oooooo…Christian…Christian…Please…Chrriissstian..oooaaaaa…CHRISTIAN! I explode gloriously around him, clinging to him as my body shatters into a million pieces.

I feel him thrust 3 more times before he explodes again calling out my name. He collapses on top of me our breathing ragged. He rolls to his back pulling me along with him.

"Thank you Ana. Thank you for taking me there. I love you."

"I love you to Christian. I will love you always and forever." I kiss him once again. He pulls the blanket over us and holds me close.

"Same here My Ana, always and forever my love belongs to you."


	20. A Family Holiday

**A/N: Ok all I am Sooo sorry this chapter has taken so long to get done. This is a happy drama free chapter, they Greys need peace to just enjoy themselves. But for whatever reason my mind was not wanting to write it. It kept wanting to focus on the drama to come. So good news is you will not have to wait so long for the next chapter as it's already half done. To all my loyal followers thank you! I love seeing your comments and reviews. Thank you for keeping me going and enjoying this story it means so much to me.**

The room is bright and I don't quite want to wake up all the way, I roll over to watch my husband and he is not there, I sit up and see Christian propped up against the footboard of our bed with Teddy in his lap. He is just playing and talking to Ted. My face has the biggest grin.

"Look Teddy Bear, Mommy is awake." He says with a smile

"Good Morning. How are my two favorite men?"

"We are good baby, just watching the most beautiful woman in the world sleep."

"Oh great, teaching our son to be a stalker already?" I smirk

Christian just laughs as he spins himself around and is now against the headboard.

His mood has improved this past week after our appointment with Dr. Flynn. We enjoyed a restful weekend and Christian took a few days off last week just to spend some time at home. It was wonderful we spent time down by the water; in the meadow relaxing we even went on a little shopping trip and spent some time with Grace and Carrick. I am still concerned about Christian, while I know he made a breakthrough about Elena, we have not discussed it any further and we need to talk about how to get her out of our lives for good. I know that as much as my husband may think he can do this by himself, I know that this is something he can't and we have to do this together to protect our family. I think I will wait until tomorrow to bring this up.

Today is the 4th of July and we made plans for the whole family to join us on _The Grace_ for the day and we can watch the fireworks over the water. I am really looking forward to today. It will be the first time that we take Teddy out on the boat, not that he will remember but that does not matter; it will be a very memorable day.

"What time is everybody meeting here today?" I ask as I snuggle into Christian's side and stroke my son's cheek.

"Everyone should be here around noon. Mom and Mia have made a picnic lunch for everyone and Elliott and Kate were grabbing things to grill for dinner tonight."

"Sounds like you have it all worked out." I smirk

"Always baby." He grins back

"You have a music dock onboard right?"

"Yes baby, _we_ do have a music dock on board, and speaker throughout so that it can be heard anyplace on aboard.

"Christian, We have to remember to bring the portable crib down as well so Teddy has a place to nap."

"Already done, I had Taylor and Sawyer bring it down when they did their final sweep this morning, Ryan is guarding her now."

"Mr. Grey have I told you lately how much I love you?"

"Hmm, not since last night Mrs. Grey."

"Well Christian I love you so much."

"And I you baby."

We have both showered and had breakfast, Teddy has been fed, and his bag is ready for today. Christian has double checked the final preparations and now we are just waiting for everyone to get here.

Sawyer comes in to announce that Grace and Carrick are at the gate. Christian goes to the door with Teddy to greet his parents, as it turns out every one arrives about the same time. After hugs and hellos have been exchanged by all, we get ready to head down.

"So bro anything else we need to bring down to boat? I've got the food for dinner Mia has lunch, anything else we need to grab?" Elliott asks.

"No I think we have everything, are we all ready?"

"Oh Christian do we have extra blankets for tonight?" I ask suddenly I want to make sure everyone will be warm tonight.

"Good thinking baby, we have a few aboard but want me to grab some?"

"No I'll go, Kate will you come help me?"

"Of course Steele." She smirks

I giggle and shake my head and smile at my husband, I know he hates it when Kate calls me "Steele"

Kate and I are back in minutes with extra blankets.

"Ok we got them. I think we are ready."

We all grab what we can; Christian takes the blankets from me so I can carry Teddy. We all make our way through the yard down to the water and where _The Grace_ is waiting for us. Every one boards and we all move around to put things away, Christian comes back with a tiny little life jacket for Teddy which I am assuming he had special made for him. I can't help but roll my eyes and smirk at him.

"I saw that Mrs. Grey. You will pay for that later." He grins in return

"Look forward to it Mr. Grey."

I thankfully no longer have to wear a life jacket once I had finally convinced Christian that I was a good swimmer, he is still hesitant but does not force the issue.

Teddy and I are settled on one of the seats, watching Carrick and Elliott help Christian ready the sails and get _The Grace_ on the water. Christian glides us across the water and out in the open he guides us to a beautiful spot where we can see the skyline, and are surrounded by the water, he sets us to just idle and float. I am trying to explain to Teddy what his daddy, uncle and grandpa are doing but to be honest I really don't know all the terms, but Teddy has no idea what I am talking about anyway so it really doesn't matter. The thought makes me giggle.

"What's so funny baby?"

"I was just laughing at myself I was explaining to Teddy what you were doing but realized I really have no idea and he has no idea what I am saying to begin with." I giggle again.

Christian chuckles. "Don't worry baby, I will explain it all to him when he is old enough." He leans down and plants a gentle kiss on my lips.

"Christian we need music will you grab my IPod out of my bag for me please?"

"Sure baby, what playlist would you like?"

"My 'Ana' mix please it has some great dancing songs, some slow songs and some in-between songs. Real descriptive I know but it's a good mix." I laugh and Christian just smiles, and shakes his head.

Christian puts the music on shuffle, and the first song makes me squeal and I hear Kate as well, I jump up and dance towards her everybody just staring at us as we dance with each other Teddy in my arms. Grace comes over and just smiles at the two of and takes Teddy from me. Kate and I continue to dance to and sing 'Moves Like Jagger' by Maroon 5. Kate and I are in a fit of giggles when the song ends.

"Oh my gosh Ana! We haven't danced to that song in ages!"

"I know! I forgot that it was on my IPod!"

The next song is just as fun it 'S&M' by Rihanna and the smile that spreads across my face can't be helped as I look to my husband who, as well has a wicked grin on his face as he joins me to dance as well. Kate is now grinding against Elliott and Mia is being just as bad with Ethan. Christian grabs my waist and presses me close to him and we move as one dancing a little naughtily. Both of us grinning like fools and I loved it. We continue dancing to Ushers' 'DJ Got us Falling in Love Again' and 'Give me Everything' by Pitbull & Ne-Yo.

The music changes into some softer paced songs, and I can hear Teddy fussing. It's time for him to eat and nap.

"The young master is tired. I am going to feed him and put him down for his nap." Leaning up and kissing my husband before I go to gather my son.

"Girls." Grace calls. "Why don't we get lunch ready. I am getting hungry."

"Sounds good." Replied Kate and Mia.

"I will be out shortly." I call

The men all gather at the front of the boat with beer in their hands and just sit to chat, the girls make their way to the kitchen and I make my way into the master bedroom.

Ethan's POV

The girls are all occupied, and while I have them here I might as well get this over with…

"Mr. Grey, Carrick Sir," they all turn to look at me. My God these 3 can be scary and I know that I have to worry about Elliott and Christian the most they are so protective of my Mia, goodness was Elliott this nervous when talked to my dad and myself?

"I need you three to know, that I love Mia with all my heart, she is energetic, fun, smart, amazing at everything she does, she keeps me on my toes and a smile on my face, she is everything I never knew I always wanted, my everything, and I will do everything in my power to make her happy, keep her safe and support her in her dreams."

"Mr. Grey, I would like to ask your permission to marry your daughter, Sir."

Carrick is just staring at me and I am keeping eye contact with him. I can feel the stare from Elliott & Christian. It feels like hours before Carrick finally speaks.

"You do realize that this is my baby girl we are talking about." He states levelly.

"Yes sir I do. I know how close you are and how important she is to you, all 3 of you actually, and that is why I am asking your permission. I would never dream of going against your wishes or forcing Mia into anything that would go against you."

Carrick continues to eye me. Finally I see a small smile appear on his lips.

"Well Ethan, Son, I already consider you part of this family, and I know that you love my daughter as you say, I can see it clear as day. You are a good man, and I know you will make my daughter happy. I would be honored to call you my son." With that he pulls me into a hug and I feel the relief flood through my body.

We part and I turn to Christian and Elliott who have their arms crossed and are leaning against the railing. Nerves flood back.

"Seeing as how Mia is close to both of you, I would also like to have your blessings as well. I know it would mean the world to Mia, and myself as well."

They both continue to stare at me then Elliott leans to say something to Christian and he just nods. A small smirk crosses Christians face and Elliott breaks out into a grin.

"You have our blessings Ethan, Just take care of our sister, if not we will kill you and I have ways to make sure they never find the body." Christian grins and I think he is kidding…I think…

I get handshakes and from both of them and then discuss with them what my plan is…..

Ana POV

I make my way back up to the top deck again, Teddy has been fed and is now sleeping peacefully.

"Anything I can do to help?" I ask the girls who are preparing lunch.

"It's all done, if you just want to help bring it all back up top." Kate smiles

Back up on the top deck we lay the food out on the table I go to get the men who seem very relaxed they are all smiling and chatting.

"Hey guys! Lunch is ready!" I call out Christian smiles and they join us.

We all sit and enjoy our lunch and chatting just listening to the music. I am so happy at this moment, here I sit surrounded by an amazing family that is so strong together, and it's so peaceful out here I love it.

I am so lost in my own thoughts that I don't notice my husband standing next to me until he calls my name.

"Huh? What?" I ask turning my head to him

"Dance with me Ana?"

"But of course." I smile shyly

It isn't until Christian starts singing that I recognize that we are dancing to 'The Day Before You' by Rascal Flatts

Christian holds me close to his body, my hands around his neck my head resting on his chest Christian is singing loud enough for everyone to hear but soft enough that I know he is singing to me.

_I had all but given up on finding, The one that I could fall into  
On the day before you  
I was ready to settle for, Less than love and not much more  
There was no such thing as a dream come true  
Oh, but that was all the day before you_

Now you're here and everything's changing  
Suddenly life means so much  
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow  
And find out this promise is true  
I will never have to go back to  
The day before you

In your eyes I see forever, Makes me wish that my life never knew  
The day before you

Oh, but Heaven knows those years without you  
Were shaping my heart for the that day I found you, If you're the reason for all that I've been through  
Then I'm thankful for the day before you

Now you're here and everything's changing  
Suddenly life means so much  
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow  
And find out this promise is true  
I will never have to go back to  
The day before you

Was the last day that I ever needed alone  
And I'm never going back, No I'm never going back

Now you're here and everything's changing  
Suddenly life means so much  
I can't wait to wake up tomorrow  
And find out this promise is true  
No I'm never going back  
I will never have to go back to  
The day before you

My eyes well with tears as we sway back and forth, I had not even notice that the others have joined us. I am lost in our own little world. Rascal Flatts is one of my favorite bands and its surprising that Christian knew about this song, although I should not be he makes it a mission to know all of my favorites and dislikes on everything.

"Thank you baby." I whisper softly as the tears continue to fall and the song comes to an end.

"Anything for you baby, I love you Ana." He kisses the top of my head and we continue to dance to another slow song.

The music picks up and we clean the away lunch. Kate Mia and I have decides we want to float in the water on the inner tubes, the boys tie the tube together and then tie them to the boat we have stripped down to our swim suites and climb in Christian gives us a soft push so we are floating away from the boat and we just all relax and enjoy the sun beaming down on us.

We have just finished dinner, Kate and I are cleaning up while The rest of the group relaxes. Christian has Teddy and I love seeing him this carefree. The sun is starting to set and the view is just spectacular, simply breathtaking.

Everyone is curled up next to their loves, just admiring the view and enjoying this moment of peace in our family, Teddy is snuggled against Christian's chest and I feel complete.

A new song some on and its 'Marry Me' by Train I love this song it has recently become one of my favorites. Christian played this song the other day, set it on repeat and danced me around our room, then made sweet passionate love to me, it was simply perfect.

As the song continues to play I see Ethan get up he turns to face Mia and drops to one knee. _OH MY GOD!_

MIA POV

We are all sitting around enjoying the beautiful view and peace of our surroundings. 'Marry Me' by Train comes on and I smile knowing that of course Ana would have this on her IPod. Ethan stands from beside me steps so he is now standing in front of me looking deep into my eyes, and drops to one knee and grabs my hands. OH MY GOD I have stopped breathing.

"Ethan…" I gasp

"Mia Grey, you are the most beautiful, smart, vivacious woman I have ever met. I love your spirit, your positive attitude. I love your stubbornness, and love for life and new experiences. You have made me happier than I ever thought possible. I promise to spend every single day trying to make you as happy as you have made me. I love you and promise to love you every moment for the rest of my life. Mia Grey, Will You Marry Me?"

All air has left my lungs, Tears are falling freely down my cheek and the smile across my face could not get any bigger and my eyes have remained locked to Ethan's the entire time. My brain is trying to get me to speak finally it works

"Yes." The word barley escapes my lips in sob.

Ethan lets go of the breath he has been holding and pulls a box out of his pocket, he pulls out an stunning diamond ring and slides it on my hand, I dive into his arms, mine flying around his neck his around my waist and back pressing me to him and kiss I him with all the emotions I am feeling. It takes a few moments to hear the cheering and clapping of my family we break apart and I see both of my sister in laws and my mother crying and my brothers grinning ear to ear, my dad doing both.

Ana POV

That was beautiful. I am so happy for the two of them they make such a wonderful couple! I love that we are all a big happy family and that we have all found our soul mates. The congratulations being rained upon Mia & Ethan who could not look any happier.

"We mean it Ethan, take care of our sister." I hear Elliott warn him and Christian nods in agreement.

"Wait a minute you two knew?" Mia asks shocked.

"Yes, love they knew. I asked your dad for your hand earlier today, while you ladies were preparing lunch. I also asked for both your brothers blessing as I know how important they are to you." Ethan stated proudly.

"Oh My…" Mia gasps. "You really are perfect thank you!" and she kisses him again just as the fireworks begin.

We all sit back down cuddled under the blankest just watching the beauty in the sky this truly has been a wonderful 4th of July!


	21. Unconditional Love

**Hi All!, Thanks so much for the reviews I love them I really do and I am so glad you like the last chapter! I really had a lot of fun writing it. I can't believe the love and support I have for this story it really is amazing as this was only going to be a one chapter deal! **

**I am sooo sorry this chapter took so long. I wrote it and did not like it so I deleted it then I rewrote and still did not like it. I wanted this chapter to show the emotion and pain Christian feels and I wanted to showcase the bond he has with Ana, how much they need one another, so I guess third time is a charm! I hope that you enjoy it and it's worth the wait. This is by far my longest chapter over 10,000 words!**

**I have to address a guest review here, that was left for the first chapter, because I can't do it Privately, if you are going to leave a bad review, which I can handle, do it with some intelligence, remember you are reading fiction and not everything is 100% accurate, also leave it so I can respond to you and we can discuss it, don't hide behind your computer.**

_**Guest Review: Ana doesn't need to push for any manuscripts to be published her husband owns the company she works for and she is the publisher so all she has to do is publish the two manuscripts she wants published. She's the boss. the author is making it sound complicated and it's not that complicated. Also it's out of character for Ana to yell back at Christian when he yells at her because he's concerned, she might yell at him if his intentions are less than noble but not when they are noble. When she tries to hide something from him she usually murmurs and he becomes suspicious. and Ana would never talk to Christian this "NO!" I say forcefully, "Christian I told you no drugs I don't want blip to be affected by anything no!"**__**"Ana..."he begins "NO Christian I don't want them! End of Discussion!" He is her Dominant remember? and she decided in the end of the book to accept his lifestyle and go along with his tastes. She feels life will never be boring with him, she is eight and a half months pregnant and she hasn't bought a crib, diapers or a bassinet and a baby bathtub filled with onesies and undershirts?**_

**Ok Since you decided to review as a guest I can't reply to you in private so I have to do it here. **

**First off Ana is not the boss yet she won't be until her first wedding anniversary and currently is still and editor so yes technically she still has to answer to someone else. **

**Second it is not out of Character for Ana to yell at Christian. In the second book, they argue about him buying SIP, about the check for the car, When he takes her to get her hair done at the Esclava Salon tehey argue on the street, she yells, and then again back at the apartment, when she tells him why she is mad, especially about being carried over the shoulder, After they leave Flynn and are on their way for Christian to show Ana the view of what he wants to be their new home, they argue in the car, she gets out of the car, he yells she yells back they have the argument on the side of the road. In the third book, for sure, during their Honeymoon, when he left marks on her body after she took her top off, she yelled at him, When jack got into the apartment when he was out of town, ended up in a fight and she yelled about not knowing how bad the threat was because he never kept her informed. She yells about his reaction to blip. She argues back all the time which is why he loves her she challenges him! **

**Third, her snapping at Christian about the drugs is something they would have discussed on a previous occasion, Christian, loving her so much and not wanting her to be in pain is what causes him to take control, Ana once again stands up for herself, Christian can't unilaterally make decisions in their marriage and let's face it she IS in labor, and does have a right to be a little irrational. **

**Fourth, as you stated in your first line of this review, Christian is Ana's HUSBAND not her Dom, it was NEVER agreed upon in the books, that she accepted that full lifestyle, they both enjoy their kinky fuckery, and yes Christian still needs his control, but he said time and time again he does not want a submissive and that Ana is his WIFE, his EQUAL.**

**Fifth, My story takes place starting the day Teddy is born, it is usually common that parents have all their, cribs, clothes, diapers, etc WAY BEFORE the baby is actually born, and if you had actually read my first chapter you would have seen that Ana has a flashback memory of her and Christian shopping for what they need for Blip. **

**Finally I suggest you do not read anymore of my story as you won't like it. Ana is a very strong young woman and I showcase that in my story, she is very strong and protects her family obviously that's not what you are looking for as you still see the dom/sub relationship. Perhaps you should re-read the books to get a better understanding, and also understand that this IS FICTION.**

**Ok now on to the story enjoy **

Nothing fits! Ugg I am fed up with this. I just want to wear a simple pair of jeans, I am tires of wearing loose skirts and sweats pants. I want to wear my jeans! Is that too much to ask, that is what I am most comfortable in and since I know we are headed for another long session with Flynn this afternoon, I just want my damn jeans! I know I am being petty but I don't care, I need to get back to my post blip body before I lose my mind! Christian has walked into my closet.

"Baby, are you almost ready? I thought we could grab lunch before…." he ask softly I turn to him and his face falls

"Ana what's wrong are you ok?" the concern and panic evident in his voice.

"I just want to wear my jeans!" I sob collapsing into him as his arms circle my waist and back.

"Nothing fits! I am still fat and ugly, I am tired of wearing skirts and track pants. I don't want to wear maternity jeans I want to wear MY jeans!" I continue to sob as he holds me tighter.

"hush baby," he coos in my ear as he tries to calm me down

"Anastasia I want you to listen to me." He pulls my gaze to his.

"You. Are. Beautiful." He states and plants a gentle kiss on my lips. "You are the most beautiful and sexy woman I have ever laid eyes on and you have just had a baby not even two months ago. It's going to take time for your body to go back to the way it was. Besides it wasn't until recently you could even consider exercising."

"I know but I just want to wear jeans Christian I know I am being silly but it's what I am comfortable in and it's just so frustrating!" I pout and rest against him again

"Do you think I can borrow Claude?" I mutter softly as I nestle closer to him.

He chuckles. "Yes I can let you borrow Claude if you want to I will get his schedule for you and you can decide what you want to do."

I can hear the smile in his voice. It makes me smile too. I love how Christian has the ability to calm me down.

"Thank you." I whisper and place a kiss on his chest through his shirt.

"For what?"

"Calming me down once again."

He kisses the top of my head. "Now baby would you like me to help find you something to wear?"

"No I think I can manage I will wear my yoga pants at least they are pretty comfortable and well we are just going to see Flynn so it really won't matter what I am wearing right?" I give a small smile.

"Ok baby. We do have a stop to make before we go but nothing fancy."

I nod in response and give him one last squeeze lean up and kiss him gently.

Ten minutes later I meet Christian in the kitchen who is feeding Teddy while chatting with Jason & Gail.

I wrap my arms around Christian's chest from behind and lean on his shoulder.

"Thank you again Gail & Taylor for watching Teddy for us, I can't begin to tell you how much we appreciate it."

"Oh Ana, please it's no problem at all we love this little guy so much it's a pleasure to take care of him." Gail smiles at the three of us. I glance at Taylor who too gives me a smile and a nod.

"Baby, are you ready to go?" Christian turns his face slightly to ask me.

"Yeah whenever you are love."

"Ok Teddy Bear, Mommy and I are going to leave for a little bit and leave you with Big T & Nana, so you be a good boy. I love you." He places a gentle kiss on Teddy's cheek and spins around to face me.

"I love you too Teddy Bear, Daddy and I will be back soon." I kiss his forehead and Christian hands him to Gail.

"Call if you need anything we will be back in a couple of hours." Christian states.

He takes my hand and we walk out to the car.

"Christian where do we have to go before Flynn?"

"Don't worry about it we need to make a stop and we will have some lunch before we see him."

I squeeze his hand in acknowledgement, letting him know I trust him.

About 20 minutes later Christian pulls into the parking lot of Niemen Marcus, my head turns to his and confusion written all over my face, he gives me a hesitant smile.

"You said you needed jeans." He shrugs.

Tears spring to my eyes, and I can't stop them from falling. My caring, sweet, too rich for his own good husband, has brought me here to get new jeans because my body is in its in-between phase.

"Baby, Ana, I am so sorry. I did not mean to upset you. I just thought after this morning…."

I launch myself over to him and seal his lips to mine before he can finish his sentence.

"I am not crying because I am upset…." I kiss again "Christian you are to sweetest most thoughtful husband in the world. I don't a single other husband that would take their wife shopping because she had a meltdown about not being able to fit into her jeans." I giggle through my tears."

"Ana I would do anything to put that smile on your face and that giggle escape those perfect lips." He smiles softly.

"Come."

He climbs gracefully and so damn sexy out of his R8 and walks around to open my door and offers me his hand and gracefully pulls me out of the car. My arms automatically circle his neck as I lean up and kiss him.

"You really are amazing you know that right?" I whisper against his lips. I am rewarded with his shy smile as he kissed my forehead. He takes my hand and leads me into the store.

We are greeted by a young sales associate who grins widely and blushes at the sight of my husband.

"Welcome, How may I help you today sir?" she gushes paying no attention to me. My grip tightens on my husband and I move closer to him.

"Caroline Acton, Please. Tell her Mr. & Mrs. Christian Grey here to see her." He states firmly, his face impassive as he moves his arm to around my waist and hugs me to him. I don't even try to hide the smirk on my face.

"Yes Mr. Grey. I will get her right away." She blushes and drops her head.

I smile up at my husband who plants another kiss on the top of my head.

"Mr. Grey, Mrs. Grey, How lovely to see you. Mr. Grey it's been a while. How can I help you today?" she states warmly a genuine smile on her face.

The thought of Christian in here before brings unwanted thoughts to my mind and I must stiffen slightly as I feel my husband tighten his grip around my waist.

"Ana needs to get some new jeans."

Caroline turns to me and I nod softly.

"Yes I do need some new jeans to hold me over until I get my body back to its pre-pregnancy shape." I give a small smile.

"Ok I think we can manage that. Come with me darling. Mr. Grey there is a lounge just this way outside our fitting rooms, you can relax there while Mrs. Grey and I do some shopping."

Christian Smiles slightly and nods. "Stop with that train of thought right now. I never brought them in here with me it was always just a list. You are the first one I have ever taken shopping." He states quietly. I search his eyes and I know he is telling me the truth.

The thought makes me smile. "Another first Mr. Grey."

He kisses me lightly. "It would appear so Mrs. Grey now go spend some money" he whispers in my ear and kisses my temple.

I walk off with Caroline, spend a few minutes where she has me try on a few pairs to see what size fits the best. I am so glad I have gotten so comfortable around her it makes the experience less awkward for me. Once the size is determined we make our way and pick out 6 different pairs of jeans. Of course we don't stop there, we have picked out at least a dozen new tops which are both fashionable, comfortable and make breast feeding easy. I have pick out several new pairs of underwear because my husband has a tendency to destroy mine. As we finish our shopping and being to make our way back to my husband I can't help but notice a dark blue corset with silver lace trim with matching garter and thong. I smile to myself and grab it in my size.

"Ms. Acton I believe I need shoes to match this." I say with a grin.

"I think I have just the pair in mind." She returns my smile. "Wait right here."

Two minutes later she is back with a beautiful pair of dark blue sparkled Louboutin heels.

"Oh they are perfect!" I exclaim with a smile.

"Could you ring these up while I go get my husband. I don't want him to see the extra items." I grin

"Of course Mrs. Grey no worries I will take care of it."

"Thank you and would it be ok if I wore a pair of jeans out of here?"

"Oh yes that is no problem at all." She smiles as I take a pair and step into the changing room. Oh My God! It feels wonderful to be wearing jeans again.

I step out and she gathers the pants I was wearing telling me she will just put them in the bag with the rest of the clothes. She turns to head toward the registers and I make my way back to my husband.

He sits there checking his email on his blackberry looking so damn sexy if we were not in a public place I would jump him. His eyes meet mine as I walk towards him and his blackberry disappears, as his eyes scan my body.

"I see you found some jeans baby." he stands and pulls me into his arms.

"Yes Mr. Grey I did and more, I got some new blouses and more panties."

"Really Mrs. Grey you needed more panties?" his wicked grin very evident on his face.

"Yes I did. You see Mr. Grey my husband has this habit of destroying mine, so I had to get some more." I grin

"Well Mrs. Grey you husband is very happy that you have spent our money on your panties." The seduction in his voice not going unnoticed by me and it enflames my body.

"Wait til tonight and you will see what else I bought." I hear him growl against my neck as he nuzzles me and drops kisses along my throat.

"Well what a nice show the two of you are putting on. It really does make it look like you actually love him Anastasia; you hide the fact that you are just a little gold digging whore very well." My entire body tenses and my blood begins to boil.I can feel Christian tense as well and fury is now radiating off his body. I whip around in Christian's embrace and my glare meets her icy amused stare.

"Elena! What the fuck are you doing here?" Christian snaps.

"Just happened to stop by." Her answer very nonchalant.

"What the fuck are you doing here Elena? Are you stalking my husband?" I snap my voice raised.

"Not that I have to explain myself to you. I was shopping down the street and saw Christian's car. Since he refused to answer my phone calls and emails I figured I would stop in and speak with him. Then I caught your little act. You sure do have everyone fooled Ana but not me I can see right through you."

"Elena get the fuck out of here I will not tolerate you speaking to my wife in that manner and disrespecting her. I have asked you now I am telling you leave me and my family alone. Stay the fuck away from us. There is no longer a place for you in my life. My world is all about Ana and our family."

"Oh Christian please…" she rolls her eyes and the way her lips purr his name makes me snap.

"Elena." I step closer to her and she visibly steps back which makes me smirk. Her voice trying to sound stronger than she actually feels.

"What Ana? Huh? You know you embarrass Christian when you fight his battles for him. He does not need you."

"Look here you bitch. First off I am not fighting his battles for him. My husband does not need me to do that. We fight our battles together. I am defending him and protecting him from the evil which is you. That's what you do when you love somebody you protect them from harm. Second you calling and emailing my husband, as well as you standing here, is in direct violation of the restraining order I know you were handed after our last little chat. Finally when are you going to get that Christian Grey is my entire world and I that I love him no matter what, He is a good man, an amazing father and husband, no thanks to you what so ever. You are not welcome in our lives!"

"Oh naïve little Ana, when will _you _understand that I will always be in Christians life? That we have a bond that you will never understand, because you were and could never be part of that lifestyle."

"No Elena, you are wrong." Christian states as he pulls me closer to him, his voice, reasonably calm, and even. My head turns to look up at him he glances down at me and I can see so much emotion pass through his eyes, love, admiration, remorse, acceptance

"Elena. I have finally seen what you and I were and it's not something I am proud of. Yes you taught me control but it was through abuse. Yes you stopped my drinking and made me keep on track with school but again it was through abuse. You manipulated your way into my life and controlled me in subtle ways that you passed off as caring that I did not even notice. You controlled my subs and you used my mother to control me. You would tell me when I was younger that my family would disown me if they ever found out and you convinced me that they could never love me. Well you were wrong. I have never felt more loved by my family and I know that it's not out of obligation. My parents have not disowned me and they do know what we did. You also know that I am completely in love with Ana, my wife; you know that as long as we are together you will never have the chance to be in control again. You knew that when we had dinner and told me to fly to Georgia to see her you thought it would make her freak out and leave, and you would once again be in control. Even though we did separate briefly, you had lost the control because at that point my entire world was all about Ana. Anastasia is not with me for my money, she is with me because she loves me unconditionally and I love her same. I love my family, I love my son, I love my wife. My life no longer has a place for you. That became the case the day Ana fell into my office. I no longer want you in my life Elena, I no longer need you. I finally have what I have spent my life looking for just did not know it. My family. Ana, Teddy, Grace, Carrick, Mia, Elliott, Kate & Ethan. _My_Family. My world is complete and no longer includes you." His voice remained, calm and even.

The smile on my face a triumphant one.

The look on Elena's face is a mix of realization and defeat.

Christian takes my hand we make our way to the counter I sign the bill, while Christian gathers my bags. We walk out of the store hand in hand to the car I am bursting with pride for Christian, he did not lose his temper. Christian places the bags in the trunk and opens my door for me.

I throw my arms around his neck my hands fist in his hair and I bring his lips down to mine and seal them in a possessive, proud, passionate kiss.

"I love you Christian. I am so proud of you."

"I love you too Ana. We still have about an hour before our appointment, would you like some lunch?"

"Yes please, lunch would be great." I kiss him again and slide into the car. Christian walks around and drives off.

We eat lunch at small little café tucked away in the shopping district. I can see Christian deep in thought and feel him becoming more tense as we get closer to finishing.

"Christian?" I stroke his leg trying to get his attention. His eyes meet mine and there he is again, my lost boy starring back at me. His eyes searching mine, for something to cling to, searching for reassurance.

"Baby, please do not worry it's going to be ok. I am going to be there the whole time unless you don't want me to." I can see the panic rise in his eyes again and I know he needs me there.

"Relax Christian, its ok I won't leave." His eyes soften and I can see him coming back to me slowly. He nods and helps me up we make our way to car and to Flynn.

The entire drive over, my mind is racing with this morning's event and what we are about to deal with. I am worried that this all may be too much. I think the whole Elena thing is finally over, I think the way it was handled today ended it. I know that Christian felt relief I could tell in his demeanor. I hope Christian does not think I am trying to control him. He once claimed Elena was his whole world like he told her today I was his whole world. I know I am over thinking things but I just worry. I know today is going to be hard for him…I think I am going to need a joint session with Flynn and Christian so that I can work out all this shit in my head I know it has a lot to do with hormones too…I am so lost in my own thoughts I didn't notice Christian park the car or come around to my door.

We walk silently hand in hand into Flynn's office, his receptionist greets us and tells John we are here.

He opens the door to greet us and we walk to the door just before we reach John I stop in my tracks "Christian" I say softly he looks down to me, I can feel the tension in his body.

"You don't have to do this you know. I don't want you to feel like you are being forced into anything. I never want to force you into anything, I don't want to push you past what you can handle, I don't want to break you. If you're not ready we can leave. I won't be upset. I don't want you to think I am controlling you the way Elena did, I never want that ever." I can feel the tears welling in my eyes.

I never want to cause him pain. Knowing I have in the past hurts deeply. Christian pulls me to his chest wrapping his arms tightly around me and burying his face into my neck. I feel him breathing in my scent as I do his. He places a light kiss on my lips and pulls me into Flynn's sits me down on the couch and kneels down in front of me; one hand clasping mine in my lap, the other lifting my chin, locking my eyes with his.

"Ana, you are my strength, you never have and never will control me like Elena did you love me. You control me the way I control you with nothing but love, as far as what I can handle, with you I can handle anything, you are the only one who can push me this far and make me deal with my past, dozens have tried, including John but it took you to get me to this point where I feel I need to deal with this for you and for Teddy, you have not broken me, you are the one who fixed me, put the missing pieces in place and made me whole, made me who I am. Please don't ever think you are anything like her. Thank you for what you said today, because of you and your strength against her I was able to finally put an end to it. She knew it was the end I could see it on her face and I know you saw it too." I nod at his words and a few tears fall.

I am relieved to hear him say this. I was so afraid he was going to hate me afterwards. "I just did not want you to hate me after all this. I love you Christian and I never want to cause you pain. It kills me that I have in the past. I will defend you and fight for you until the day I die." I hear him gasp as my words.

His fingers brush away my tears. "Ana, my love, I could never hate you. Ever. I like that you defend me, it makes me feel loved, cherished, protected. You make me stronger, for that and millions of other reasons I will love you defend you and protect you until the day I die as well." He leans in seals our lips with a loving tender kiss."

"Well it sounds like you two have had an interesting morning." John's voice comes from behind Christian, and it's not until now I notice he is in his chair with his notebook, watching the two of us intently. Christian rises gracefully and sits down next to me one arm around my shoulders the other his hand holding mine in my lap.

"Yes John we did." Christian smirks slightly.

"Care to elaborate?"

"Well, we made a stop this morning. We did a little shopping as we were getting ready to leave we were having a private moment, and we were interrupted by Elena. She apparently was shopping down the street and saw my car, since I have been ignoring her she took it upon herself to find me. She then started insulting Ana again calling her a gold digger, and saying she had everyone fooled into thinking she really did love me." Christian states.

"And how did you respond to that Ana?"

"I was fucking pissed John!" I snap.

"I stepped towards her and she stepped back which made me smirk knowing she feared me punching her again. She accused me of embarrassing Christian by fighting his battles. I explained that my husband does not need me to fight his battles for him but with him. I told her she was in violation of her restraining order, that I loved Christian and I would always protect him from her and her evil and she was not welcome in our lives, she then claimed that she and Christian share a bond that I could never understand because I'm not from that world."

"I see what did you tell her?"

"I didn't." I state softly as a smile crosses my lips. John looks intrigued.

My eyes turn to look at Christian and pride glows within mine

"I did." He kisses me and turns to face John.

"I spoke in a calm even voice when I told Elena she was wrong, I told her that she was intimidated by Ana because since the day I met Ana, Elena no longer had the control over my life. I told her that I finally saw what we were and I was disgusted, yes I gave her credit for teaching me control and getting my school on track but that she accomplished that through abuse. I told Elena that she controlled me through abuse. I told her that my parents were aware of what we did and they still love me. I told her I have never felt more loved by my family, I told her that I loved my wife, I loved my son and I loved my family. I told her that Ana made my world complete and that I was happy. I had my family all the Greys and Kavanaghs and that was all I needed."

John smiles widely at that statement.

"What was Elena's response?"

"Silence." I stated proudly and smile back at John.

"She did not say a word. Defeat was written all over her face. She knew that Ana and I were not going to be torn apart by her and that she had truly lost this war. We paid for our items and left without saying another word." Christian confirms.

"Well I would say that subject is finally closed." John Stated rather proudly. We both nod our heads in agreement.

"Excellent I am proud of the two of you. You both stick together and fight together that's what makes you the strong couple that you are." He smiles again.

"With that thought let move on to the topic you are really here for shall we?" I feel Christian tense again. I squeeze his hand in reassurance.

Christian nods slightly. "How do you want to broach it John?" Christians voice almost a whisper.

"Well I want you to state your fears. Do you still think you will fail as a parent?" Christian is silent for several moments before answering.

"Yes and No. I think the fear of failing is more prominent then the chances of me actually failing. Ana reassures me all the time that I am a good father. Teddy does not scream every time I am near him or hold him. He follows my voice and I swear he recognizes me. I think he feels safe with me which all I want. I never want him to be afraid like I was."

"Well Christian, the fear of failing as a parent is actually common. All new parents are scared. The simple fact that you are completely responsible for another human being, to raise them to be good people, it's a heavy idea and quite scary. The simple fact is that you and Ana love each other and that will come across as your raise Theodore and any future children you might have. Your children will not want for anything and if I know Ana she will make sure you both raise your child to be grounded. Yes you both will indulge teddy and spoil him no doubt most parents do, but you will both make sure he is a respectful polite, caring and generous young man, how could he not be with the two of you as his parents. I have seen you with your son, and its blindingly clear that you love him, you are correct when you say he knows who you are. He spent months listening to you talk to him, he knows your voice. Babies are programmed to love their parents regardless. You are also correct in saying that he feels safe with you. If he did not then you would know. Children have a sixth sense about these things; if they are not comfortable around somebody you will notice a change in behavior." Christian smiles, and nods at John.

"Baby tell him about your dream." His face falls slightly and nods.

"I had a dream about a month ago. It was after Ana and I had argued about security for her and Teddy. I should have brought my concerns to her earlier I didn't and we fought but resolved the issue. Anyway that night I had a dream about Ana and I taking Teddy for a walk in the park, someone came up and hit Ana over the head and took Teddy, I was frozen to the spot l was unable to move all I could do was scream and yell and try to move but it was like someone was holding me back. Then all of a sudden I was back at the crack house, Ana was lying on the floor like the crack whore was the day she died, and again all I could do was watch, I could not move. Teddy was on the floor and the same person who took him began kicking him, hitting him...burning him….." tears fall from his eyes and his voice cracking."I could not do anything to stop them, I could not move, I could not be heard nothing."

"Well I can see why that is quite disturbing for you. Did you two discuss this nightmare?"

"Yes we did." I reply while Christian calms himself.

"And?"

"Well when Ana woke me from the dream I raced into Teddy's room I just had to hold him make sure he was really ok. I explained my dream to Ana her theory made sense, she said that the fear of Teddy not being safe from earlier in the day brought me back to the time in my life when I felt the least safe and unprotected. She reassured me that I have keep Teddy safe, that he feels safe with me, I held him in my arms and he stayed asleep, she told me he loves me, Ana reminded me about the day he was born I would not let them take him away. I protect him. She explained that my dream was about when I was a child and need protecting. We talked about how I finally felt safe when I went to live with Grace and Carrick. I no longer had to worry about being hurt, going hungry or feeling scared. Of course it took me months before I completely felt secure but I knew deep down they would not let anyone hurt me anymore. That was also the same night when Ana helped me hold Teddy." He smiles softly

"You had not held your son before that night?" Flynn asked stunned and confused

"No of course I had. No one else can touch me skin to skin but Ana. She helped me that night by having me take my shirt off and undressing Teddy til he only wore his diaper. He was awake at the moment she place him on my chest skin to skin, placed my hand under him and a hand on his back and sat with me talked me through the fear and panic that raced through my body. When she finally got me to look down at my son he was snuggled against me looking at me and all my fear melted away. He fell asleep on my chest. It was one of the most amazing experiences of my life." He smiles at John before turning to me and smiling then kissing me again.

"Wow." John states I can hear the emotion in voice as well. "You two accomplished a lot. Ana you really are an amazing young woman and just what Christian has needed. You know just how far to push him and how to help him through his nightmares. I really am amazed at the barriers the two of you have shattered." He smiles

I blush and snuggle closer to my husband.

"I think your theory of his nightmare is quite accurate. Christian you were projecting your fears of not being safe onto Theodore, hence why it was him who was being hurt and not you. The fact that it was Ana in the position of your mother shows that your fear of losing her in anyway is just as equal, and expresses the need for you to keep them safe. The fact that you could not protect them in your dream is simply the fact that you could not protect yourself or your mother from the pain and hell you both went through."

I see Christian nod. "Yes I would have to agree. It's really quite logical when you can think and analyze it rationally."

"Ok so collectively we have worked through, your fear of being touched skin to skin at least by select people and you can at least allow family to touch you with the barrier of clothing correct?"

Christian nods yes.

"Ok and we have worked through and closed the doors on Elena, from what you told me about this morning."

We both nod yes again.

"Ok Christian then we just have to work through your issues surround your birth mother and her pimp."

Christians nod this time is slight.

"So what I want you do to is go back in your mind. I want you to almost put yourself in one of your nightmares, but this time instead of the young child I want you to appear there as a grown man. I want you to say put loud everything that is going on and everything that is said. When you get to really painful parts I want you to take control and change it."

Christian tenses even more. "You want me to willingly go back into that hell?" he growls

"Yes I do. It's a good way for you to change what happened, take control of the situation."

I turn to look at Christian, I pull his eyes to mine. "Baby just try it. John's idea worked last time I'm right here if its too much you can stop and we can leave."

His eyes search mine looking for his safe haven making sure I am not leaving. I lean in and kiss him softly and caress his face.

I pull away. He closes his eyes and takes a very deep breath. "Ok John how do we do this?"

"Well I need you to relax as much as possible, clear your mind as much as possible and then just listen to my words."

"Ok." Christian chokes out.

He lays his head back closes his eyes and grasps my hand tighter.

"Ok Christian I want you to take 3 deep breaths and relax."

He does and I can see him relax a bit.

"Ok now Christian, I want you to put yourself back in that house. Are you there?"

"yes"

"What do you see, tell me about it."

"The house is filthy; the living room is empty with the exception of a dirty couch. There is a rug on the floor. On the wall is written the alphabet and my name. Walking into the bedroom is a double bed where we would sleep sometimes but usually I was not allowed in there, it was used for business if you know what I mean. The bathroom next the bedroom is just as filthy as the rest of the house; it has a bathtub which we hardly ever used. To the left of the bathroom and connected to the living room is the kitchen it has a table with two chairs."

I can feel him tense at the memory of what he is seeing and my hear breaks listening to him describe this place.

"Is there anyone in the house?" John asks.

"Yes Ella is laying on the couch passed out I am in the corner playing with my car and blanket. I hear footsteps outside the door. I know it's him I move quickly to hide underneath the kitchen table with my blanket and car. He bursts through the door, yelling at her to wake her up, he is screaming loudly making me cry he smacks her across the head to wake her up she starts crying.

"'Shut the fuck up you slut, I don't want to hear your tears you worthless piece of shit. Turn over.' He shouts at her."

"He falls on top of her and fucks her the entire time she cries and pleads with him to leave her alone but that just makes it worse he gets even more angry. He beats her until she just collapses on the couch again sobbing. He is pissed and she has become useless. He lights a cigarette and comes looking for me. I am trying to be quiet but its not working I am crying because I am scared, silently pleading with her to save me to help me."

"'There you are you little shit, shut up stop crying.'" He yanks me out from under the table, holds me by both arms and shakes me screaming at me to be quiet."

"I can't stop. I am so scared he is hurting me and won't stop. He drops me to the floor, the impact and the sobbing making me get sick.

" 'look what you did you little shit, fucking hell!' he screams and whips his belt off, starts beating me, 10, 15 hits. I am crying so hard, it hurts so much my screams begging him to stop, I can hear her begging him softly to leave me alone. The next thing I see is him lowering his cigarette to my body. 'At least you are good for something you little son of a bitch.' And he puts his cigarette on my chest, making my cries louder."

The tears are streaming down my cheeks freely as my heart shatters at the pain and torment that my husband has suffered because no one was capable of taking care of him.

Tears run down Christians cheek his grip on my hands is tight clinging to me with desperation

"Ana" he barley whispers and sobs

"I'm here Christian." I stroke his cheek.

"Christian, Take control right now! Do what you do best and take control of the situation" John demands firmly.

"STOP!" Christian sits straight up. "Stop, hitting me with your god damn belt and stop burning me with your fucking cigarettes. I have done nothing to you. I am…was just a child. It's not my fault. You are a son of a bitch and it's your fault she is dead.' I am bigger now, I have punched him. He cowers before me and I remove him from the house but it does not matter she is still dead. She still left me. She could not protect herself from him I can see that now but she still should have fought harder. She just gave up so she did not have to be hurt any longer, but what about me, she just left me alone. She did not love me enough to fight to stay alive. Before she left me that day, she sat down on the floor. She spoke to me. The words that I will never forget…"

"Christian, my baby boy. I am so sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't fix this. I can't take care of you. I do love you. But I can't stay. I have to go. Hopefully with me gone you will finally be safe. I am sorry I can't protect you. I can't give you the life you deserve. I can't. I can't. I can't. I am sorry. I am so sorry."

"She laid down next to me and we fell asleep except she never woke up…" Christian completely breaks.

Tears are just streaming down his face. I fold him into my arms and just hold him tears still falling from my eyes as well.

He has told me a little about his nightmares before, he has told me about the day he woke up and his mom was dead, but never has he shown his emotions about it, never has it been anything but anger, and coldness.

My heart is broken for the 4 year old boy who went through hell, but its stronger for the man that he became, My Christian, yes he has his issues, but he is working on them. He wants to be a better man, I love the man he is with all my heat, my fifty, my overprotective, romantic, loveable, strong, self-doubting, sexy, amazing, controlling, sensitive, smart, less than perfect-perfect husband and father to our son. I could not ask for a better man in my life and someone who completes me in a way I never thought possible. He has been my rock. My only hope is that I do the same for him and right now he needs me to be strong and I know I can and will be. He is my world and I am his.

"Hush baby, it's going to be ok." I whisper as Christian just clings to me his body shaking. I have one arm around his neck cradling his head the other rubbing his back, I kiss his head multiple times, trying to calm him down.

"Ana she just quit on me. She gave up. She did not love me." He whispers.

"Christian she did love you. You just told us she did. Yes she did quit, she gave up, but she loved you, wanted you to be safe but like you said she could not protect herself therefore she could not protect you but she did love you."

"Do not quit on me Ana. Please don't ever leave me. I can't live if you leave. I can't survive this life if I have to feel that pain again. I can't do it Ana. I can't survive, It hurts too much. That's why I shut myself down that I did not allow anyone in. I did not want to feel it hurts too much. That's why I was a problem child I could not accept the fact that anyone could love me, I thought if I was bad they would not love me and leave me alone then I would not get hurt again, because the last person who did love me, gave up she abandoned me, she left me all alone. I was terrified, hungry and alone. Grace and Carrick saved my life. But Ana, I've told you before, you gave me a life, you showed me how to love and to be loved, Ana please, don't abandon me like her, please I won't survive…I won't…I can't…I won't…please"

My heart breaks more, seeing him broken hearing him plead with me to not quit on him like his birth mom. I look to John who he too is taken with emotion. He nods at me. It's time for me to put my fifty back together. I squeeze him tighter. I take a deep breath and control my tears. I pull his head up and lock his eyes with mine, seeing nothing but fear and anguish.

"Christian, baby, I am not leaving. I am not going anywhere. I am not quitting on you and I am not going to abandon you. I love you with my entire being. You are more than I could have ever hoped and dreamed for. You are my world. I never want to cause you that kind of pain because it would simply kill me as well. You and our son are my reason for living. You are my perfect match in every single way that I never thought would happen or could even be possible. You are an amazing man, worth so much and I don't mean your money. I mean your heart. You have an amazing family who loves you. You are surrounded by so many wonderful people and you have so much to live for. If something were to ever happen, I would fight like hell to get back to you. But you would survive; you have so much to live for. Your son needs you and your family needs you too. You will survive Christian Grey. You have to. You are a strong man, so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You will survive." my voice soft and strong.

I lean in and plant a gentle kiss on his lips wrapping my arms tight around his body. He continues to cling to mine.

"I love you Ana." He whispers

"I love you too Christian." I whisper in return.

"Well Christian. I must say that was pretty intense. How do you feel? What is going through your mind at the moment?"

Christian composes himself, and turns to face John. He is clasping my hand tight once again. He is silent for what seems like hours but in reality it's only a few minutes. His look is thoughtful and introspective.

"Honestly John. I feel lighter. I mean I think the ghost of the pimp is gone. It felt good to be able to finally speak to him. I mean I know I was not talking to him in person but….I don't know. I sound absolutely insane."

"No Christian you don't. What you did was your get rid of your ghosts, you were finally in a position to control what happened to an extent. You could stand up for yourself and not allow him to hurt you anymore. Yes it was not in a physical manner, but you have not been physically tormented by him in years, all your pain and suffering has been mental and emotional. You have just taken care of that. By allowing you sub-conscious to enter into your nightmare and then you taking control has finally given you the closure you need and the pimp will no longer be a problem for you because you took back control."

The look of amazement on my face is evident and the look of satisfaction and calm is on Christians.

"What do you think about that?"

Christian nods in agreement. "I think you may be right John. I no longer feel haunted by him."

"Good Christian then you had a major breakthrough today. I want you to reflect on the words you mom told you before she died. I want you to really think about them objectively. Discuss it with Ana or myself if you need to call me or make another appointment."

Christian nods confirming he heard what John said. Whether or not he will do it without some probing is still un known but I don't think I will even broach that subject for another few days he needs the time to absorb what he has been through today. He knows I will be here when hse ready.

"I think we can be done for the day. Go home and enjoy some time with your family." John smiles.

We rise, John and Christian shake hands and I give him a hug. "Thank you." I state and again he gets my meaning.

We walk out of John's office and I am surprised to see Taylor and the SUV waiting for us. I don't say anything. I figure Christian made arrangements for him to come get us this morning knowing he probably would not be in a state of mind to drive. I am perfectly fine by that it means I can comfort my husband without any distractions or having to wait. We climb into the back of the car. I sit in the middle, refusing to any further from him then I have to be. Christian slides in next to me. I link my arm through his and lean against him. His hand squeezes mine and his head rests on top of mine. We are silent most of the way home, we are just getting ready to turn down when our driveway, when Christian finally speaks.

"Baby I would like to ask my parents over tonight. I want to talk to them. I need to ask their forgiveness."

"Of course Christian. Anything you need." I know that Grace and Carrick do not hold anything against him. But he needs this for his piece of mind.

We get inside the house. "Do you want me to call them baby?"

"No I will call them Ana." He says softly. "It's something I need to do."

I nod in acknowledgement. I wrap him in my arms and hold him. His arms wrap around me and holds me close. We stand together for several minutes before he breaks away.

"I am going to go call my parents." He whispers.

"Ok I am going to go fin the young master." I smile up at him

"Ok." He smiles in return. Placing a kiss on my forehead.

I wander into the kitchen to find Gail cooking and talking to Teddy in his bouncing chair.

"Hi Gail."

"Hello Ana. Look Teddy, Mommy is home." She smiles back at my son.

"Hello my son. I walk over and pick him and cuddle him spreading kisses all over his face while he makes his adorable noises.

"How did it go today?" Gail asks kindly

"It went well but it was another tough day for Christian."

"I am sure ti was but I am glad that Christian is finally working on his childhood demons."

"How are you doing with all this Ana dear, it can't be easy for you either."

"It's not Gail. It breaks my heart when I hear how much he has been hurt. The kind of pain he went through is just pure hell, I can't even fathom." My voice breaking.

"He needs me to be strong and I will. He deserves that. He deserves my everything. He has given me the world and such an amazing life, I will do everything in my power to make him happy and be there for him through everything."

"I know Ana. Christian is so lucky to have you in his life. You have made such a difference in him and it's all for the better. He will be ok. We will all make sure of it." She rubs my shoulder and gives me a warm smile.

"Ana!" Christian calls out.

"In the kitchen."

"Hello Teddy Bear." He comes and gives him a kiss. "Hello Gail."

"Hello Mr. Grey."

"Gail my parents are coming over for dinner. Is that going to be an issue?" he asks softly

"Of course not Mr. Grey, I am just making Pasta and Sauce so that is easy enough to add more. What time would you like to eat?"

"They are on their way over so let's say in about an hour."

"Perfect." Can I get either of you a drink?"

"No thank you. I am going to go feed Teddy."

"I think I will join you baby, then I can have some cuddle time when you are done."

"Thank you Gail." I smile at her as Christian and I make our way upstairs.

About an hour later Christian is sitting on the couch talking to Teddy and I am curled next to him we are just waiting for his parents to get here now. I get up to go check on dinner. I hear Ryan come in and tell Christian that his parents are here. He gets up to greet them at the door.

"Hello Christian." I hear grace "and hello my sweet little bear."

"Hello, Mom, Dad. Thank you for coming over on such short notice tonight."

"Son it was no problem at all." I hear Carrick as I turn the corner I see Grace has already stolen her grandson and is doting upon him.

"Hello Grace and Carrick, it's great to see you." I smile as I walk over and greet them both.

"Ana lovely to see you too." Carrick hugs me.

"Hello sweetie" Grace kisses me on the cheek.

"Dinner is just about ready would you two car for a drink?" I ask

"Wine would be lovely dear." Grace smiles

"Same here Ana." Carrick agrees

"Wonderful I go get it." I turn to get three glasses of wine, I know my husband will want a glass tonight.

I walk back to the living room and hand them each their glass.

"Dinner is ready now." I announce, taking Teddy, who has started to fall asleep, from Grace.

"I am just going to feed him and put him up into bed. I will be right down."

Christian looks at me then to his parents and back again. He has never not helped me put Teddy to bed but I can tell he does not want to be rude.

"Christian, go put your son to bed we will be here when you get back." Grace smiles warmly and I can see the trace of a tear in her eye.

Christian smiles at his mother and wraps his arm around my waist as we make our way upstairs.

GRACE'S POV

I watch my son wrap his arm around the love of his life, and go upstairs to put their son to bed. I am trying to fight the tears but it's no use. I am so overwhelmed with pride and happiness. My son, who was so lost when I found him, so broken, so scared of being loved, is happy! He has put himself together with the help of that amazing and beautiful young woman. My son is so in love with Ana and his Son and it is blindingly clear that she loves him the same way.

"Carrick did you see that. Did you see the struggle in his eyes, he does not want to miss a moment with his son. He was getting upset at the thought of not being able to put his son to bed." Carrick pulls me into a hug.

"I know sweetheart. It's wonderful to see him so happy."

"I just never thought he would be this happy growing up. I was so afraid for him to end up alone but now he has his own little family he adores."

ANA'S POV

We are enjoying a pleasant dinner with Grace and Carrick. The conversation flows easily we discuss family and the work that the charity is doing.

Dinner is cleared away and we just sit in silence for a moment.

"So Christian what is it that you need to talk to us about?" Carrick inquires.

"Let's go into the living room." Christian suggests.

We all make our way in and settle down.

Grace looks a little nervous.

"Christian is everything ok? Are either of you sick?"

"Oh no mom nothing like that." Christian reassures her and I see a look of relief cross her face.

"Ana and I had another appointment with John today."

Both Grace and Carrick nod in acknowledgement but remain silent allowing Christian to take his time.

"Well today John had me go back into my worst nightmares which just so happens to be the last time the pimp beat me and her and the day that she died."

I can see him tense so I move closer and take his hand giving him silent support and strength. He takes a deep breath and continues.

"John had me, walk into the house and describe what I saw. I told him in detail everything that happened, I told him about hearing the pimp, and running to hide under the kitchen table. I described watching him hit her, have sex with her and then continue to beat her as she sobbed, he then found me beat me, with the belt, then burned me leaving me sobbing and screaming. She was still sobbing and begging him to stop but he would not listen. When he left, she continued to cry and so did I." Christian pauses to control himself, yes we worked through this issue today but it is still painful for him to talk about and is still really difficult to hear.

Grace has silent tears streaming down her face, and Carrick is fighting hard to keep his at bay, I know for a fact this is the first time they have heard any of this as Christian kept this to himself, and occasionally between us and John of course.

"She called me over and I sat next to her on the floor. She said these words 'Christian, my baby boy. I am so sorry. I can't do this anymore. I can't fix this. I can't take care of you. I do love you. But I can't stay. I have to go. Hopefully with me gone you will finally be safe. I am sorry I can't protect you. I can't give you the life you deserve. I can't. I can't. I can't. I am sorry. I am so sorry.' She then laid down next to me we fell asleep but she never woke up….the rest…the rest…well the rest you know…." Christian has tears streaming again the pain of losing his mom and truly feeling abandoned is what I know is ripping him apart.

Taking another deep breathe… "After that I shut myself off as you well know, the reason is that I could not bear to be loved again, I did not want to accept it from you both, and you offered it so willingly and unconditionally and I just could not understand it. How could anybody love me when the only person who ever had, gave up, quit, left me, abandoned me. She did not love me enough to fight and I can see now that she was not in a state of mind to do anything. I had it in my head that the reason she did not wake up was _because_ she loved me, that I had done that to her. I did not want that to happen to the two of you. I owed you so much for saving my life that I did not want anything to happen to wither of you. I could not handle something happening to you because of me and frankly I never really understood the kind of love you had for me, I knew you did and I love you both I think I did from a young age, I just could not express it and I was afraid. I began to understand after Charlie Tango when you were all there so worried because I went missing. I finally understand. The moment I thought I was going to lose both Ana and Teddy, because of Jack. I got it. It's a I will always be there, I will always love you no matter how stupid you are, a completely unconditional love. A Parents Love. For that I have to say I am sorry for all the hell I have put you through and Thank you for never giving up on me and always loving me."

Grace gets up immediately and kneels in front of Christian and wraps him in a huge hug and the two of them just sob, Christian put his arms around Grace and I move away and getting up for Carrick to sit next to Christian which, he dose and wraps them both in a hug. It is a very touching and emotional sight to witness.

"I am so sorry sweetheart that you had to go through all that pain. You know you were not the reason for her death and it kills me that you thought something would happen to us because we loved you. I am so sorry we could not help you." Grace cries.

"NO MOM. NO! It was not your fault at all! You have given me so much, You both have. You saved my life. When you brought me home. I finally felt safe, I know I could never tell you that because I did not understand that til recently. I knew you and Dad would never hurt me. I knew that I would never go hungry again. I would be safe, protected. That's why you were always able to make the nightmares go away. You both had such patience which I am not sure I deserved all the time. All I have ever wanted to do was to make you both proud and try to become the man who did deserve the love you both gave me without question."

"Christian." Carrick finally speaks his voice gruff with emotion. Christian turns to look at his father "We have always been proud of you, even when we wanted to strangle you for fighting or getting kicked out of yet another school. Watching you grow into the fine young man you are and watching you overcome your horrific past and become one of the if not _the_ most successful business man in the country. Watching you fall in love and have a family of your own." Carrick turns to me and reaches for my hand and pulls me down next to him. "Watching you become who you are, accepting your family and loving them, finally seeing you happy could not make us more proud of whom you have become. Never ever, ever, doubt that we are proud of you and love you completely."

"I know. I finally understand that now."

"Good" both Grace and Carrick say in unison. And I have to laugh a little at that.

Christian helps his mom off the ground and she and Carrick move back to the couch that adjoins the one we are sitting on.

"There is more." Chrisitan states. Grabbing my hand. "John had me take control of the nightmare today and I was finally able to stand up to the pimp. John believes, and Ana and I agree, that by doing that, he will no longer haunt me." Christian states proudly. Grace and Carrick both smile widely.

"Christian that's wonderful!" Grace exclaims.

"There is more." Christian smiles. "As you know a few weeks ago we had a session with Flynn it was actually just after the benefit." They both nod. "Well that session was a major breakthrough for me as well, as much as I tried to not allow Elena and her words about me being a father and Ana leaving me, because that, bother me they did. She and I had a major confrontation in Flynn's parking lot actually and I missed my appointment because I came home instead needing to be near Ana. Anyway, during that session I finally came to terms with the abuse she put me through and how manipulative she was. She even used you mom, stating that you would kick me out if you ever found out about us, which at 15 I believed, then once I was old enough, I just did not want you to know because I knew I would be disappointing you again and that thought was horrendous. At this point I knew you would not dis-own me because you already knew everything, yes you were disappointed but you still loved me." He states with a small smile.

"Yes sweetheart, I was, but I always have always will love you." She smiles back.

"I realized why she would attack Ana and it was because she knew that Ana was the one in control and that as long as Ana was by my side, Elena would never have that control again. It was a huge relief to figure this out." Christian stated with awe. "Anyway today Ana and I went shopping before, we saw John and Elena was there. She verbally attacked Ana again and visibly retreated when Ana got close to her to defend herself and me." He smirks and I can see amused wide smiles around the room as I grin widely. "When she continued to attack my wife, I spoke up in a calm level tone, I told her I finally saw what we were, what she was, and that she was wrong about everything, I told her you knew about us and still loved me. I told her that I had, Ana, our son, you, and our family and that was all I would ever need." He finishes with a smile.

"She finally got it." I state. "The look of defeat on her face was priceless and you could tell that is all finally sunk in."

"She is gone. Out of our lives for good." Christian smiles at me, and places a soft kiss on my lips.

"Well it sounds like you are having very progressive session with Flynn." Carrick comments with a smile.

"Yes I am, and it's all for Ana, Teddy, you both, my family. I don't want to be carrying around my past anymore. It's not good for me. I don't like doubting myself as a father and for me to be the best father I can be for Teddy this is something I have to do. I finally have a reason to to drive me to be better, not that the two of you were not reason enough…."

"No need to explain son, the love of the perfect woman can make you see things so differently that you will do anything to keep that vision and that love, you will become better and do things to keep that feeling safe." Carrick states softly while wrapping Grace in his arms and kissing her.

I smile knowing that these two amazing people are part of my family.

The conversation takes a lighter turn as we talk about Teddy and Ethan's proposal, and how happy they are to see Mia so happy. We talk for about another hour before Grace decides its time to go.

Wrapping her son in a huge hug, "I love you Christian and I am so proud of you and everything you have done and worked through."

"I love you too mom. Thank you for never quitting on me and always having faith in me." He kisses her on the cheek.

Hugging his dad, "Thank you dad, without you I don't know what my life would be like, Thank you for never giving up on me."

"I love you Christian."

"I love you too dad."

Grace hugs me tightly. "Thank you sweet girl." She whispers and I understand her meaning.

I hug Carrick and he tells me they are lucky to have me in their family. I smile at them both as they make their way to the door and Christian pulls me to him, my back to his front both arms around my waist. We wave as they leave. Once they are out of sight, I turn in my husband's arms and throw mine around his neck.

"How do you feel baby?"

"I feel amazing Ana. I am so glad I was able to tell them all those things, none of this would have been possible if it was not for you. Your strength and support have gotten me through all of this and I can't even fathom not having you in my life. I love you so much."

"Well it's a good thing I am not going anywhere. I love you Christian I am so glad that I can help you."

"Baby you have no idea what you do for me." He presses me to him and seals our lips. The kiss is loving and gently but quickly turns possessive and passionate, igniting every inch of my body, making me burn and ache for his touch. I feel him growing against me and it makes me tremble, as his hands rove my body, he grabs my ass and lifts me up. I wrap my legs around him as he walks back pinning me against the door. He grinds against me and I moan into his mouth, god I need this man. He breaks the kiss both of us panting trying to breathe.

"Christian take me to bed." I pant.

"Whatever you say baby." He sets me down only to grasp me beneath my knees and carry me upstairs to our room still locking our lips together.

He stands me up next to the bed lips still locked as he unbuttons my jeans and slips his hand inside he begins to stroke me through my panties making me break our kiss and groan loudly.

My hands move to the top of his shirt and unbutton it slowly and slide it off his shoulders. My hands skim his shoulders, his chest, and make their way to his jeans, I unbutton them and slip my hands in his boxers, one grabbing his ass the other grasping him firmly and moving up and down, he groans against my skin. His lips travel down my neck as his other hand slips up the back of my shirt and he unclasps my bra. He stands straight removes his hands gently takes my hands and pulls them up, he takes one hand tips my chin so that our eyes lock.

"I love you Anastasia Grey with my entire heart and soul."

"I love you too Christian Grey with my entire heart and soul." He plants a gentle kiss on my lips.

Breaking away but keeping eye contact with me, he lifts my shirt over my head, and then slides my bra off my arms. Trailing kisses down my neck across my shoulders he gently pushes my jeans down I grasp his arms as I step out of them. He guides me to sit on the bed and gently pushes me down so I am laying sideways my legs still hanging off the side. Christian kneels before me and slides my panties off with such gentleness his hands glide over my skin making every fiber of my being ready to explode. He kisses his way up my legs until he reaches the apex of my thighs. His mouth places gentles kisses on my core making me whimper, then I feel his tongue dive into my fold which are dripping for him.

"Christian." I growl.

He slips a finger inside me as his lips move to my clit, gently sucking as he adds a second finger and continues to gently thrust in and out, my body bows off the bed and is trembling for him.

"Christian please." I whimper.

"Almost there baby." He encourages.

"He curls his fingers up and strokes that spot that makes me gasp. He has moved so he is laying next to me his other hand intertwine with my fingers above my head as his lips claim mine.

"Come for me baby." He whispers.

"OH FUCK CHRISTIAN!" I scream as my body explodes pulsating from the pleasure he has sent racing through every fiber of my being. As I come down I realize that I am still repeating his name over and over.

"God baby, you are so beautiful when you come." I notice he has shed the rest of his clothing. He moves so his body is pressed into mine, placing his weight on his forearms. My hands encircle him pulling him close to me as close as I can possibly get him. I feel his erection digging into me.

"I need you Ana. Always and forever I need you in my life baby."

"I need you too Christian. You are my heart and soul." I pull his lips to mine and kiss him as he slowly and gently slips inside me making us both groan in pure pleasure. I wrap my legs around him securing him to me.

"Fuck Ana. You feel amazingly perfect." He pants

I wrap one arm around his neck his face buried in mine, out other hands are intertwined above our heads we are completely as one. Our bodies fit perfectly together. They feed off one another and respond to each other in way that is magical. Christian continues to thrust in and out in a perfect combination speed and pressure hitting each spot inside my core I can feel every delicious inch of him and him of me. He is pushing us higher and higher.

"Christian…oh baby…yes…"

"Ana….fuck baby…I love you…"

"I love you too…..please…Christian I can't wait much longer …. Please…please… Christian please…"

"Come on baby….you are so close baby…I got you Ana…Always…Come for me Ana…."

"Christian…cchrriiistian….oooooooo….CHRISTIAN YES!" my body explodes again and clings to him as I feel him thrust once more and explode gloriously inside me.

"Yes Ana… Fucking yes… ANA!" he calls as our bodies soar over the cliff of ecstasy together milking each other through our mutual release. Clinging to each other Christian rolls over and pulls me whit him. My head resting on his chest over his heart, I feel him pull the blanket over us. And wrap his arms around me. He kisses the top of my head.

I look into his eyes and him into mine. We both know that together we can accomplish anything.

"I love you Christian."

"I love you too Ana." I place a loving kiss on his lips and snuggle against him once again. We both fall asleep listening to the perfect rhythm of each other's breathing.


	22. Weakness or Strength

**A/N: Tissue Alert! This chapter is shorter than what I had planned. It's kind of a filler but leads into the next few chapters. This story is coming to an end soon and I want to thank all of my very loyal readers for following this story and encouraging me to continue making it what it is. Without you all, I would not have continued or started writing my own fiction story. I love you all so much. Don't worry however I do have a 3****rd**** fifty story in my head that I will begin after I finish this one.**

I wake in the morning and I am completely wrapped around Christian, this is something that has been happening more frequently, usually its him that's been wrapped around me, I don't know if it's because I know he needs us to be as close as possible or what but I am completely drawn to him in my sleep. He is sleeping so peacefully.

I breathe deep taking in his scent and place a gentle kiss on his chest. A soft moan escapes his lips and I smile and place another kiss on his chest. A small smile plays across his lips and I can't resist, I slide my hand gently caressing his abdomen making my way further down. The good thing about sex before bed is that we sleep naked so there is nothing in the way of skin on skin.

My hand reaches the outside of his thigh, I skim lightly to the inside, slowly sliding my hand up the inside to his hip then so slowly across the bottom of his abdomen and back down the other side. He groans loudly, and his hips sway and I see him growing beneath the blanket. I smile. He is still asleep which surprises me a bit; this must be a really good dream for him. I slip my hand over him and grasp him firm but gentle and begin stroking him.

"Ana" he gasps in his sleep and it make me grin, I feel my core clenching with each stroke I give him, and his hips buck against me, and I know I need him inside me. I move to straddle him slowly sinking onto him.

"Ana…" his groan loud and possessive.

I lean down and whisper in his ear "Baby you might want to wake up for this." and seal my lips to him, his lips allowing my tongue to pass and I claim him passionately. He responds and kisses me back with the same urgency. His arms circle my back, as he wakes up and brings us closer together.

"So it wasn't simply a wonderful dream, my amazingly beautiful sexy wife was seducing me in my sleep." He states breathlessly as he breaks our kiss and locks his eyes with mine.

"I am just glad Mr. Grey, that you were dreaming of me." I giggle

"Always baby."

"I love the sound of my name coming from your lips filled with passion. Actually I just love the sound of my name from your lips in general."

"You know that goes both way baby." His voice so husky.

He thrusts his hips up going deeper inside me. "Oh Christian" I moan

I begin to rock against him.

"Oh baby." He hisses and continues to thrusts his hips up.

"God baby you feel good. I need you." I pant and bring my lips down to his.

"Baby I need you deeper. As deep as you can go Christian please baby. I need to feel you." I whisper against his lips.

In less than a heartbeat Christian flips us so I am on my back he brings one of my legs to rest on his shoulder the other now tightly wrapped around his waist.

Christian has one hand holding my leg to his shoulder the other next to my head on the bed. He pulls back and thrusts hard into me. I throw my head, back and arch my body up towards him my hands gripping the bedding, calling out his name.

He gyrates his hips into mine rubbing me in all the right spots, making me gasp.

"Look at me Ana." He thrusts hard again, making me cry out but bringing my eyes to his.

"Fuck me baby." I state through clenched teeth.

He begins to pound into me harder and faster. My god this is what I needed.

"God Ana so tight, so perfect."

"Faster baby please." I am building and I feel myself racing for my climax, only Christian can help me get there. I see in his eyes, he is close too. He is trying to control himself for me, to make sure I get my release.

"Christian" I pant over and over. The things this man can do with our bodies, what he can make me feel is unreal.

"Come on baby your almost there." He growls "Come Ana." He yells

"Christian…." I gasp and then cry out incoherently as my body falls over the edge my leg falls from his shoulder he thrusts once more and I hear him calling out as he fills me, my arms clinging to his neck as he collapses on top of me both our bodies convulsing from our mutual release.

Christian rolls over pulling me with him.

"That was one hell of a wake-up call baby." I hear the grin in his voice.

"Glad you enjoyed that love."

"Feel free to wake me like that anytime." He states I giggle.

"Love that sound baby. Come lets shower before the young master wakes up." He pulls me out of bed, and we both shower quickly but not without stealing a glances here and touches there.

Stepping back into our bedroom, I can here Teddy cooing over the monitor.

"I'll get him you finish getting dressed." Christian states while pulling on his black shorts and nothing else. Mmmm that's going to keep my mind working today.

It's Sunday and Christian has invited Kate and Elliott over today we have not seen them much and I miss my best friend and I know Christian misses his brother although he will never admit it. I have just finished drying my hair when Christian walks back in with Teddy

He has dressed him in his little blue jean shorts, and white button down shirt. My perfect mini Christian. I settle on the bed to feed Ted while Christian finishes dressing, throwing on a matching white button down shirt and sneakers.

Christian settles on the bed next to me just watching our son. We both still get so amazed by him at times not believe he is really here and ours to love as much as we do.

We both head downstairs just in time for Kate and Elliot to arrive. We all exchange our hellos and hugs and Elliott promptly steals his nephew. We all make our way out side and down to the water.

We have spent the day playing by the water, relaxing in the sun, Kate and I watched our men throw the football around and we all even waded in the water. We took Teddy in the water and put his feet in. He loved it as he kicked and squealed in delight. Christian and Elliott grilled up chicken for dinner and we all enjoyed the sunset over the sound. It was nice to have a peaceful day with nothing really to do but just enjoy each other's company and relax.

Kate and Elliott leave early as they both have to work tomorrow and it's almost Teddy's bedtime. Christian and I head upstairs where I quickly throw on my sleep shorts and one of Christians shirts. Christian too changes into his pajama bottoms and shirt, before we make our way to the nursery to put our son to bed.

After about an hour, Teddy is in fed and in bed. Christian excused himself down to his study after he read Teddy his bedtime story and helped me tuck him in. I know he has been working on a major deal just not sure what it involves, the last few nights he has been in his study late, leaving me to go to bed on my own, which I am not a fan of.

It's been several days since our last appointment with Flynn and I want to talk to Christian about going to Detroit. I think, and Flynn agrees that it may be just what Christian needs to finally put his issues with his birthmother to rest. I have decided that I am going to talk to him about it tonight.

"Christian do you have a minute?" I ask cautiously as I walk into his study.

He looks up from his computer.

"Is everything ok Ana?" he asks concerned.

"I want to talk to you about something."

He gets up from his chair abruptly and moves to me quickly.

"Ana are you ok? Is Teddy ok?"

"Yes baby we are fine, can we talk?"

"Of course baby." He leads me over to the couch in his study and sits me down, then taking the spot next to me.

I take a deep breath my eyes looking down.

"Christian, you know when we left Flynn the other day, he asked you to think about your mom and what she said. Well I was thinking that maybe a trip to Detroit, to her gravesite would help you close this topic once and for all."

Silence.

I take the chance and slowly raise my eyes to his. They are ice grey, cold. His face rigid. I can see the anger and tension radiating off him. Shit.

"Christian?" my voice barely a whisper

"No." His voice cold, unemotional and tense.

"Christian I just….."

"NO! I FUCKING SAID NO ANA! STOP TRYING TO FIX THIS. STOP TRYING TO BE THE FUCKING HERO. _OH LOOK AT ME I AM THE ONE WHO FIXED THE FUCKED UP CHRISITAN GREY!_ STOP PUSHING ME TO DEAL WITH SHIT I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH. I NEVER FUCKING ASKED YOU TO GET INVOLVED WITH ALL THIS SHIT, WHY DO YOU THINK I DID NOT WANT TO TELL YOU HUH? I DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME AND LATELY THAT'S ALL YOU FUCKING DO. I HAVE BECOME WEAK ANA, I HAVE CRIED AND MADE MYSELF SO VULNARABLE TO EVERYONE NOW AND I WILL NOT DO IT AGAIN. I AM TIRED OF FEELING WEAK. IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO PUSH, PUSH,PUSH AND I AM SICK OF IT. JUST DROP THE FUCKING SUBJECT ALREADY!"

"I'm sorry." I barely whisper through the tears rapidly falling down my face

"JUST GET THE FUCK OUT ANA. I HAVE WORK TO DO!"

I get up I look up at him but all I see is pure fire and rage emanating from him. I reach for his hand and he steps back from me. He has not re-coiled from my touch in almost a year. I nod slightly and make my way out of his office and up to our bedroom. I throw myself down on the bed and just sob. I realize now I have pushed him too far. I get it. I have broken us. Him. He said it himself. I have made him weak. I though he was feeling better. I though he was making progress. We were becoming stronger as a couple, we have overcome so much. I thought he wanted me to be there with him. I honestly thought he was OK with everything. I may have just ruined my marriage, lost the only man I have ever loved all because I now know I was forcing him to deal with things he was not ready for. What have I done? I cry myself to sleep.

Christian's POV

I watch the look of devastation, hurt, and sorrow cross my wife's face as I step back from her. I feel like shit as I take that step and I hear her walk out the door, her sobs fall upon my ears as I sink down into my chair. Why does she always have to push? She knows that I am stressed out about this deal she know I can focus on that other shit at the moment. Why does she always feel the need to fix things?

I try to focus on my work which does not happen. I can't get my mind off Ana. I know I hurt her. Truth is she doesn't really know about this deal because I have not told her. I know she is not trying to push. I guess she is trying to help. Fuck I need to talk to Ana.

I leave my study and head up to our bedroom. The room is dark except for the light on my bedside table. Ana is laying on the bed even with the shadows I can see her face is tearstained and her eyes puffy even in her sleep.

I sit in the chair in the corner and watch her sleep.

How could I be such a fucking ass again? She only wants what's best for me like I do her. Ana has done nothing but support me, try to help me work through my demons and I could not have done anything, or have made the progress I have made without her and now I just blamed her for everything. I told her that she pushed me too far, when the truth is she is the only one who can push me to deal with reality. I told her that I was weak and that it was all her fault. My god I can't believe that I told her that. She is my rock, my strength and the truth is I feel stronger since letting go of some that shit. She makes me stronger and I felt that our love and relationship was growing stronger as well knowing that we would always be there for each other. I mean after watching her with Elena and the way she fought for me, for us. I knew without a doubt that we could survive anything and now I have just ruined that by telling the only woman I have loved that she is destroying me! I am a fucking idiot. I sigh as I know she cried herself to sleep because of me and I was not here to comfort her or apologize. My sweet, beautiful, caring, Ana cried herself to sleep believing that she ruined me, ruined us.

My attention is caught when I hear Ana whimpering in her sleep.

"_Christian I am sorry….love you…good man...want you to feel better about you….don't hate me…sorry…won't touch you…did not mean to break you….sorry….my world….don't go…Christian….."_ she is sobbing as she reaches for me on my side of the bed, I can see the pain written all over her face, as her nightmare plays out. My heart breaks more at her words "_Christian…don't leave me…Christian…Christian…Christian…"_ her sobs becoming more frantic. I leap from my chair, and climb into bed next to her pulling her into my arms I hold her close and tight to me.

"Ana….baby….wake up love….it's a dream….I'm here Ana." I whisper softly into her ear placing gentle kisses on her cheeks.

"Ana wake up."

She gasps awake tears still falling down her cheeks as she locks her eyes with mine and I see fear and anguish in her beautiful blue eyes. I know I am to blame.

"I'm….So….Sorry….Don't…leave….me…." she still sobs, her hands clinging to my shirt.

"Ana I am right here baby. I am not going anywhere. I am so sorry."

"Christian I am sorry. I did not mean to push you. I love you so much. You are such a good man, and I just wanted you to feel better about who you are. I wanted you to feel complete. You are my world Christian and I love you so much, I never wanted to make you feel weak or break you. I love you so much….." I cut her rambling off with a gentle kiss to her lips and I feel her begin to relax.

I break the kiss and lock my eyes with hers, she is still crying as I gently wipe her tears away with my hand.

"Ana I am so sorry that I said all of those horrible things to you. I did not mean any of them. This deal at work has me completely stressed and I did not know how to react to your suggestion. Ana, baby, you have not broken me, made me weak, or pushed me to hard. Do you understand me?" I stare deep into her eyes. I still see flicker of doubts and I curse myself for putting them there. "Ana, you are my world, you have done nothing but support me, be my rock, fight for me and for us. You make me stronger every single fucking day; you make me a better man. You help me become the man I want to be for myself, for you and for our son. I am so sorry I made you feel like everything was your fault. There is nothing to blame for. You are helping me overcome my past and I should be praising you for that, not making you cry yourself to sleep. I love you with my entire heart and soul, which you gave to me by the way. I belong completely to you forever and I am so sorry I made you doubt that. I am here and I am never going to leave you. Ever. Do you understand me?" She gives a slight nod her eyes still brimming with tears. I lean down and seal our lips again pouring my love out to her. She responds kissing me loving while her hands still cling to my shirt. I lean up breaking contact and quickly remove my shirt, and slip under the covers; I pull her once again into my arms.

"Touch me Ana." I whisper.

She takes her hand and places it on my chest. I place my hand over hers and slide it over my heart.

"My heart beats for you always." I whisper

"And mine for you, I love you Christian, so much."

"I know baby. I know. Sleep." I kiss the top of her head, as she lays her head on my chest, my arm holding her as close to me as I can. I feel her shake a few times, trying to settle her breathing, and her arm slips over my shoulder wrapping around me, trying to get as close to me as she can. She needs the closeness. The reassurance of me being here. Of us. I can give her this, after everything she has given me, I can offer her this reassurance, tonight and every single day for the rest of my life.

I feel her breathing even out and her grip on me has loosened slightly. I know she is finally asleep again.

"I love you Ana." I whisper

"Love…you…Christian…" she mumbles

I close my eyes, knowing things are better; but right now My Ana needs her sleep, So I too surrender to sleep. Vowing to make sure in the morning my wife knows just how much I love and need her.

**Reviews always welcome and appreciated. **


	23. Worshiping my World

**A/N: I decided to break this into two chapters. Enjoy.**

CHRISTIANS POV:

I slip out of bed early before the alarm goes off. I try to not wake Ana, I succeed. I head down to my study I have a few phone calls to make. I stop by the security office to speak with Taylor.

"Morning Taylor."

"Morning Sir."

"Taylor we will be going to New York and Detroit this week, Ana and Teddy will be coming along as well as Sawyer, Ryan and Gail." I want to leave this afternoon. I am calling Andrea to have her make the proper arrangements will you please inform Sawyer and Ryan to prepare for the trip and Gail too please she is to come along to help Ana with Teddy only, she will not be doing any housekeeping duties. Understood?"

"Yes Sir, I will get everyone moving."

I nod and leave.

I sit in my study. Grab my phone.

"Andrea, I will not be coming in today or for the rest of the week for that matter. I am going to New York. I need you to call and have the jet ready to leave this afternoon as well as let the staff in New York know we are coming out. The New York apartment has a nursery set up correct?"

"_Yes sir it does everything you need is there."_

"Good. I also need you to make hotel arrangements starting Wednesday in Detroit. We may not arrive until later but it will be Wednesday at the earliest. We will need 3 suites in Detroit I want all three on the same floor, you know what I prefer."

"_Ok Sir anything else I can do for you?"_

"No I will call Ros and let her know."

"_Very good Sir."_

"Thank you Andrea. Let me know when the arrangements have been made."

"_I will Sir."_

Next I dial Ros.

"Good Morning Christian, to what do I owe the pleasure of this early morning phone call?" I can hear the smile, and sarcasm in her voice.

"Ros I am flying out to New York this afternoon. I am sick of dealing with this problem over the phone, I will go and negotiate the terms in person if they don't like them then we walk. I am done with this shit."

"Ok. Am I coming with you or holding down the fort?"

"No you stay and handle things here; I should be fine in New York. I will be out all week, I am bringing Ana with me and we have to make a stop in Detroit. I won't be back until Monday if it's an emergency call me if not handle it."

"Sounds good Christian. I have it all covered. Have a safe trip."

"Thanks Ros, and give them hell."

After hanging up with Ros, I have one more call to make.

"Hi John, its Christian."

"Good morning Christian, everything ok?"

"No not really. I yelled at Ana last night."

"Ok, what brought that on?"

"Ana came into my study to discuss, going to Detroit, to finally confront my demons regarding my birthmother."

"And this caused you yell? I am confused Christian you knew that this was the next step. I guess I do just not understand what happened."

"Well John, I have been worried and stressed about this deal in New York, and last night Ana's suggestion just made me snap. I did not just yell John, I lost it big time. I told Ana that I had become weak, and vulnerable and that is was all her fault, I told her that she was forcing me to deal with issues I did not want to deal with, I then I backed away from her when she tried to touch me."

John gasps in shock

"How did Ana react?"

"She was devastated. I have not recoiled from her in over a year not to mention all the horrible things I said to her. John she cried herself to sleep last night, no doubt thinking that she had destroyed our marriage. I have spent the last several weeks re-assuring Ana that all of this is what I needed and that she was not forcing me to do anything and that she was making me stronger and then for me to say what I did….no wonder she had a nightmare."

"She had a nightmare?" John Inquires?

"Yes, once I realized I was wrong I rushed upstairs to apologize to her and beg her to forgive me. She was sleeping I knew she had been crying. Anyway I watched for a little while just thinking about how much of an idiot am and how I was such a fucking asshole to her when she has done nothing but support me. She started to cry in her sleep telling me that I was a good man, her whole world and that she loved me, she asked me not leave her. Her cries became more frantic and that's when I climbed into bed with her and held her close to me to try and calm her down and wake her up. When she woke up she was still sobbing, started telling me how sorry she was, she never wanted to break me or make me feel weak, she only wanted me to feel better about who I am and that she loved me regardless, she pleaded with me again to not leave her. Fuck John her dream was so real and so painful she thought I was truly going to leave her."

"I can understand why her mind went there. Like you said you have spent the last several weeks telling Ana that she has done nothing wrong, that this was all good, and then you go complete opposite and you don't let her touch you which has been the biggest bond between the two of you as its territory only she has been to."

"I know John, I worked that much out as well."

"OK Christian so what did you do last night once Ana woke up?"

"I told her that she was my world. Told her that she has never made me weak, she makes me stronger every day. I told her that she has never broken me, that she has put me back together. I told her that I loved her with my entire heart which she gave me, and that there was nothing to place blame upon. I told her that everything we had gone through all our sessions with you were nothing but good for me, for us. I told her she was helping me become the man I wanted to be and that she has done nothing wrong, I explained a little bit about work and apologized for snapping at her. I told her that was never going to leave her."

"Is that all?" I hear slight sarcasm in his voice.

"No. I removed my shirt and begged her to touch me. She touched my chest and I moved her hand to my heart and told her that it beats for her always."

I don't feel shy about telling all of this to John. He knows everything about no secrets at all and since Ana, I have been much more receptive to his ideas. His advice he helps me sort through all the shit in my mind.

"What did Ana say to all of that?"

"Not much just that she loved me and curled herself tightly around me seeking re-assurance that I was there. She cried a little more but then fell asleep peacefully in my arms."

"Ok so it sounds like you have settled the issue. I expect you to talk through it a little bit more today."

"Yes I fully plan to make sure my wife knows just how precious she is to me, how much I love her and how much I need her, when she wakes up."

"Ok Christian why did you call me then? You sound like you handled things well after you calmed down."

"John I can't quite figure out why I snapped and said what I did to her."

"Ok, let me ask you this first. Do you feel broken or weak like you claimed?"

"NO!" I almost shout. I take a deep breath.

"John I have never felt stronger, I mean yes this shit is hard to deal with and at times I have felt a little defeated but with your help and Ana, My Ana, by my side, I don't feel defeated long, you both help me see what the reality is. I am not a broken man like I was before. I am being put back together and that is all Ana. Sorry John."

"No need to apologize, I have to agree, It took Ana coming into your life and leaving for you to take our sessions seriously. She has given you a reason to change and fight for what you want and for who you want to become."

I nod silently know he is completely correct in that assessment.

"Christian you have always had the tendency to explode when you become over stressed, you tend to say things you don't necessarily mean, the difference between then and now is you normally explode on an employee, you yes you care about them, whether it be staff at GEH, or Taylor, who has learned to understand when you are serious or just pissed and lets it pass. Ana however is not your employee she is your wife, the one thing you treasure above all others, other than your son. You hold Ana, to the highest standard and you need her more than anything else, you have said so yourself. You need to understand that you can't just explode on Ana, she will take it harder than anybody because she loves you so deeply. Ana is a strong young woman and I have seen her fight for so much with you and her family, she can handle your temper like no one I have seen and most of the time, she understands when you need to just cool off. This time what I think affected you both is that you did not allow her to touch you. You have to make sure that this connection is never lost, it is what ties the two of you together. Do you understand what I am saying Christian?"

"Yes John, I certainly do. I will never recoil from her again, my anger really did get the best of me. I want you to know that I am taking Ana to New York today I have some business there and after we will be stopping in Detroit."

Silence.

"I think that is a wise decision Christian. I think you are ready"

"Thanks John. I think I am too."

"I will be available if you need anything, call me anytime."

"I will, Thank you John, I have to go. I want to be there when Ana wakes up."

"Have a safe trip Christian."

"We will."

I hang up the phone, and make my way back towards the kitchen.

"Good Morning Gail."

"Good Morning Mr. Grey."

"Has Taylor told you of the plans?"

"Yes Mr. Grey he has, thank you for bringing me along. I will make sure we are all ready to go."

"You are welcome Gail, there will be a lot of down time for you and Ana in New York and I thought you ladies might enjoy some sight-seeing, and we may need you to look after Teddy when we are in Detroit I hope that will be ok.

"Oh yes Mr. Grey not a problem at all."

"Good. Now where might I find a pair of scissors? I would like to bring a rose from out front up to Ana."

"Right here, but bring that rose straight back to me so I can get rid of the thorns so you and Mrs. Grey don't get hurt, be careful cutting it too."

I smile and nod and head to the front door we have pink and white rose bushes just outside the door. I look them over until I find a soft pink rose, that is not in full bloom yet, and cut that one, bringing it back into Gail, she quickly takes care of the thorns.

I smile and thank her again and make my way back upstairs, hoping my wife is still in bed asleep.

I open the door quietly and notice Ana is still sleeping peacefully, which she did for the rest of the night once I came to bed and we talked a bit.

I still feel like shit for being such a fucking ass. I replayed the scene in my study a dozen times, and talking to John, I can't believe the things I said, no wonder my feisty Ana did not fight back, she was not expecting my reaction as I have reassured her this whole time while seeing Flynn that she has done nothing wrong and that I need to do this and I could not do it without her. Then for me to just snap and scream at her the way I did and say what I did and not let her touch me. I know my wife well enough to know she went to bed thinking that we were over and she was to blame for ruining us. My heart breaks when I remember her sobbing because of her nightmare, begging me not to leave her in her sleep. I remember John's words and I know I still have some apologizing to do, I have to make sure she really does understand.

I slip into bed next to Ana, she is facing my side of the bed, hugging my pillow. I watch her for a moment she really is an angel. I am a lucky son of a bitch. Now I need to make sure my wife knows that I know this.

I take the rose and brush it down here cheek, down her throat. I bring it up to caress her lips and brush it across her eyes. I lean down and plant a gentle kiss on her lips I kiss each one of her eyes and trail light kisses down her cheek followed by the rose.

Her eyelids flutter open, and they land on mine. I smile widely at her. I bring the rose to my lips, kiss it and lay it down on the pillow beside her.

"Good morning beautiful." I almost whisper as I kiss her forehead.

"Hi." She says shyly.

"Hi." I smile back at her. "Did you sleep ok?"

"Yes, after I went back to sleep." I see her eyes cloud with worry.

"Ana baby, I can't apologize enough to you for last night in my study. I am an idiot, and a huge fucking ass. Baby I meant every single word I said to you last night in bed. I blame you for nothing. All of my sessions with Flynn would never have been possible if you were not by my side supporting me. You really have made me stronger. The only way you could ever break me or make me weak is if you walked away from me, from us. Listen baby, this deal in New York is not going well, they are trying to get more out of me then I am willing to give and frankly what I am offering is more than what the company is worth but they keep stalling and trying to renegotiate. It has me stressed because they think since I am not there in person they and jerk me around. Last night I just was not in the frame of mind to think about your suggestion. I could not handle that thought and I snapped and I am so very sorry you received the brunt of that. I meant none of it. You are the one who is putting me together making me whole, simply by loving me and supporting me. I can never repay you for that. I love you so much Ana."

I lean down and kiss away the tears that have started to fall again and then kiss her lips softly.

"I love you too Christian. So much. Thank you for the rose it's beautiful."

"Nothing is as beautiful as you Mrs. Grey." I kiss her again this time she turns the kiss in to and urgent passionate kiss, staking her claim on me and still seeking reassurance which I am more than willing to give her. Her arms fly around my neck pulling me so I am now laying half on top of her.

I feel her passion, her urgency to fuse our bodies and become one, staking our claim on each other, but I want to take this slow, I want to worship her and erase any doubt in her mind, that she may have about my love and need for her. I want to show her how much she means to me and how much I can't live without her.

I begin to move my lips across her face to her ear and that spot I know drives her wild.

"I." Kiss

"Am." Kiss

"Going." Kiss

"To." Kiss

"Worship." Kiss

"You." Kiss

I reach that soft spot and nibble and suck. Ana lets out a soft moan. I bring one hand up to caress her face and begin to move my lips down her neck. I bring both my hands to run down her arms while I moved to straddle her knees. My hands reach hers. I lock my eyes with hers, and slowly pull her up sitting never breaking eye contact I claim her lips with mine, I slip my tongue pass her lips and begin to dance with hers, my hands slip under her shirt, and caress her soft silky skin, I run my hands up her sides across her back, I stroke her stomach with my fingers as I deepen our kiss, pouring my love for Ana into it hoping she feels it. I lift her shirt slowly. I break the kiss to lift her shirt over her head, her hair falls gently onto her shoulders and cascading down her back once again.

"You are so beautiful Ana." I state huskily my eyes roaming over her body.

Her arms slip around my neck as she leans back slightly, my arms around her back helping to support her. My eyes linger on the perfect soft silky flesh of her breast which are now within reach of my mouth. I trail my kisses along the base of her throat and across her collar bone slowly kissing, licking sucking my way down. My lips skim and brush over the top of her breasts, my tongue licking the valley between them. I gently lay Ana back down on the bed, my mouth continues its attention on her breast my tongue circling her nipple I pull it into my mouth and suck, my hand gently working her other rolling her nipple between my fingers. Ana's whimpers and moans along with her tight grip in my hair let me know she is enjoying my actions. It makes my dick harder, straining against my pajama bottoms, begging to be buried inside her, but not yet, I am not done with this stage of worshiping my wife yet. I switch sides. I fucking love how responsive she is to my touch.

This is something I would have normally trained my subs to not be responsive, but that was because it was all about my pleasure not theirs. Now it's about both our pleasure. It gives me great pleasure to know that I can elicit these reactions from my wife, knowing that her body responds this way to me, that she enjoys my touch, that I can drive her wild. I never would have thought I would enjoy giving pleasure so much.

"Christian." Ana pants

Hearing my name from her lips, her voice filled with ecstasy only makes me want to continue. I leave her breast and kiss my way down and across her stomach, leaving no spot of her untouched by me. I slide her shorts off, and caressing her long beautiful sexy legs with my hands, I kiss my way up both of them. Ana is writhing on the bed, soft moans escaping her lips as I continue my journey up along her thighs, finally reaching her core. I spread her legs a bit wider, her knees bend and she rests her feet against my back, I use my finger to spread her lips and run my tongue through her folds.

"Oh Christian" Ana groans loudly.

"Baby I love how wet you are for me. Always so ready."

I slip one finger inside her dripping center and feel her walls clench around me. I gently stroke her then slip another finger inside. Ana cries out with pleasure. I begin thrusting my fingers in and out of her slowly as my lips capture her small bud of nerves, sucking gently at first. I have my other arm splayed across her abdomen to keep her from moving too much, her hips begin to buck slightly her hands in my hair gripping tightly pulling me to her. The way she does this is so fucking hot. I can't get enough of her. She is so intoxicating, her scent, her taste, she is my drug which I am glad to be addicted to. I feel her stomach begin to tremble and I know she is close, I can feel her inner muscles begin to contract around my finger which only urges me to increase my pace, pumping my fingers in and out of her faster and faster, her cries, and pleas for release mixing with her moans. I gently bite down on her clit sending her over the edge crying out loudly in ecstasy. I remove my finger and lick her core, drinking in everything she has to offer me and I continue. Her breathing erratic and shallow as her body begins to come down from its high, only to start climbing again, this time using my finger to massage her sensitive clit my tongue darting in and out of her in a fast rapid pace.

"Oh god" she cries out as her body climbs higher rapidly.

"CCCHHRISSTAAAAAAAAAA" she calls out incoherently as her body explodes again her hands gripping the sheet beneath her as her body arches up and convulses upon the bed. I quickly remove my bottoms as I crawl my way up her body kissing as I go. I spread kisses across her face, hovering over her as she tries to control her breathing. My dick is so hard and throbbing ready to fill her, resting against the inside of her thigh.

Ana grabs my face pulling my lips to hers claiming me, tasting herself on me making her moan.

"Baby please I need you." She whispers against my lips.

I fuse my eyes with hers. "I love you Ana, always and forever." I whisper my voice so filled with loves and desire for her as I slowly slip inside her wet folds and her walls wrap around me tightly pulling me deeper into her. I am completely buried inside my wife, my favorite place in the whole world. Like this, I know we are ok; we are as close as we can get. We are one.

I stay still for several minutes each of us just savoring the feel of one another.

"So perfect." I murmur. I swivel my hips, soliciting a delicious moan from Ana's body.

I feel at the moment as though I am in heaven and I am ready to explode but I call on the little self-control I have left as I plan to drive my wife to pure bliss once again. I am resting on my forearms, supporting my weight so I don't crush her but keeping our bodies close so that each time I move her breast rub against my chest, helping to keep my body blazing for her. I being to move slowly sealing our lips again slowly pulling out and thrusting back into her deeply. Her hands roaming my shoulders, my back clinging to my hair as she feels every inch of me, I want to please her make her feel so good, drive, her wild. I continue my slow pace, until her hands caress down my back grabbing my ass and push me into her harder, that's my cue to speed up, I increase my pace, feeling my control slipping, not knowing how much longer I can hold on. Lucky for me, Ana is close. Her hips buck under me, meeting me thrust for thrust her moans and cries spur me faster and faster, harder I thrust, racing both of us towards our climax, I feel her trembling, her muscles beginning to clench and convulse around me, her breathing is frantic, her head rolling from side to side, her grip around my neck tightens, pulling me to her, needing me to carry her into ecstasy.

"Baby please." She cries out I thrust hard, twisting my hips

"Let go baby….I've got you." I whisper in her ear and with that she comes loudly calling out my name, clinging so tightly to me. I feel so connected to her it blows my mind. I roll over quickly onto my back, never breaking our connection. My arms circle her back pulling her to me completely and I thrust twice more before finding my release, whispering her name over and over again in her ear.

Her body still shaking on top of mine I hold her to me never wanting to let her go.

"I love you Ana." I whisper and kiss her cheek, the top of her head.

I feel her breathing against my skin as it begins to slow, and normalize. I feel tears drop on to my chest, and hear her sniffle.

"Baby what's wrong? are you ok? Did I hurt you?" my voice still soft but filling with concern. I worry sometimes that I am too rough for her and that I end up hurting her.

"No I am fine."

"You are crying. You are not fine. Tell me baby."

She raises her head and her beautiful blue eyes are filled with tears.

"It's just I am happy and relieved. Last night I thought this was gone forever, that I would never feel you against me, inside me, that I would never again feel this love and connection and I am just so happy that you are still mine because I don't think I could survive without you. I am not saying this to make you feel guilty I just need you to know how much I need you Christian Grey. I need you like you need me, you are my air, my life, my world. I love you so much it hurts."

"I know baby. I really do. We are meant to be together. Two halves of one whole."

She leans down and kisses me gently and lovingly.

"We. Belong. To. Each. Other. Forever." I state.

"Forever." She agrees softly.

"Come baby. Let's shower before our son wakes up. I have something to talk to you about when we get out but don't worry it's not anything bad I promise." I kiss her again gently. And I am rewarded with her beautiful smile as we get up and make our way into the bathroom.

***Reviews welcome***


	24. Relaxing Magic

**A/N: Hi All, so this next few chapters are going to be shorter to get us past Christians Business Deal and sight seeing in New York I know several of you are anxiously waiting for Detroit, no worries its coming soon, promise it will be worth the wait...well I hope anyway. **

Christians POV

I slip on my sweats after our very sensual shower that included me fucking my wife against the wall. I can't always control myself when I am with her. Especially when she is naked, a glistening with water cascading down her gorgeous body….Fuck knock it off Grey or you are going to ravish her again. I walk out of our room to go gather our son, leaving Ana to finish drying her hair.

"Good morning my son." I smile widely at my mini me, who has now focused his attention on me, and smiles, gurgling and waving his arms wildly. I pick him up and snuggle him close to me kissing the top of his head his cheeks and his hands, making him squeal. I really never thought it was possible to love someone this much, I would give my life for him. This is that unconditional love I am starting to understand because I know I will love this little guy no matter what he does.

"How would you like to go on an Airplane today? Hmm Teddy? I am going to take you and Mommy with me to New York on a business trip and then we are going to go to Detroit. That is where Daddy was born. We have to go and visit a place that's hopefully going to allow me to be a much better man and a great father to you. Although, Mommy tells me every day that I am a wonderful father, but I feel this is something I have to do so that my dark past is no longer hanging over the very bright future I see with you and Mommy." I know that he has no idea what I am saying; it seems he does like listening to me talk. I catch him turning his head trying to find me in a room sometimes. Ana told me he recognizes my voice and that I calm him down which is true when Ana was pregnant and he was going crazy while she tried to sleep, I would talk to him and tell him he needed to let mommy sleep and he always calmed right down, Ana thought it was the coolest thing and I have to agree. I change his diaper and get him dressed for the day in jeans and his, 'I love my mommy onesie'. Walking back to our room, his back to my chest I hum a song to him as we walk.

ANA'S POV

Christian and I have just finished our very sensual shower that included hot steamy shower sex. I have just finished drying my hair when Christian walks in with our son snuggled with his back against his chest, humming a song, while Teddy is looking all around and making gurgling sounds. He makes me giggle. I settle on the bed to feed our son while Christian finishes getting dressed. As I watch my son, he is getting so big and so much more alert. He just watches everything around him and I like to think that he understands what Christian and I say to him. I know he loves listening to Christian talk about anything. The thought makes me smile and soon I get lost in my thoughts. This morning was perfect my husband is so sweet. I really thought last night that I had destroyed us; I thought I had lost him forever. I remember my nightmare so vividly. He refused to let me apologize and he was walking away from me forever, it felt so real. I was so grateful when I woke up in his arms to him trying to comfort me. I don't know what I would do if I ever really lost him. I would live for my son here but a major part of me would be missing. Christian said he needed to talk to me today about something and that it's not anything bad. I know for sure I will not be bringing up Detroit to him anytime soon. I know his words from last night and this morning were honest and true I could see it in his eyes. However I am still very apprehensive about this subject. As much as I want Christian to finally put his past to rest for his sake so he can finally begin to feel good about who he is, finally begin to see the man that I see every day, the man I completely fell in love with, I can't deny that I am worried about his reaction again. I really do not want to stress him out more and make him do something he does not want to do. That would betray him and make him resent me which is something I don't think either of us could recover from. I am brought out of my thoughts when Teddy squirms in my arms. I lay him on the bed and quickly reassemble myself, I bring him up to my shoulder to burp him. He gives 2 very satisfactory burps and I prop him up so he is laying on my bended knees and I start playing and talking to him. I am so consumed with my son that I don't notice Christian approaching us until is seated cross legged on the bed in front of us. I smile shyly and he does the same.

Christians POV

I stop at the door way of my closet I love the sight before me. I love watching Ana with our son. She loves him so much. She loves me so much. I can tell she is lost in her thoughts and I know she is still upset about last night. She was almost desperate in our shower sex, not wanting to let go of me. I am not done reassuring her, but she does seem much more calm and relaxed then she was last night. I love how she becomes so consumed with our son talking to him, playing with him. I make my way over to her and settle on the bed in front of her, she does not notice me until now. I return the shy smile she has offered me.

"Ana, I told you a little bit last night about this deal in New York, well I have decided that I am going to fly down there today to deal with them in person. They need to know I am not playing around." I see her face fall, but she won't protest in my business. "Baby, I don't want you to think I am running away from you or what happened last night. I won't ever do that again, seeing as how last time I almost lost you and Teddy. Besides I am not done apologizing and worshipping you yet, which is why you are coming with me." Her eyes snap up to mine. "Yes baby, you and Teddy and I are going to New York. Sawyer, Taylor and Ryan are coming as well, along with Gail to help you out with Teddy."

"Oh that's so exciting. I have never been to New York! How long are we going to be there? Will we have time to see some of the sights, Please tell me you won't be working the entire time. " she is so excited about a simple trip, but I guess seeing as how she has not really traveled much, I can understand why she is so excited. I grin widely and chuckle.

"No baby, I won't be working the whole time, I will make sure we have time to see some of the sights, and whatever we don't see we can go back anytime you want to. I called Andrea and Ros this morning to let them know I will be out of the office or the rest of this week."

"A whole week in New York? I am so excited."

"Not exactly." I say cautiously and her face falls slightly.

"We will be in New York until Wednesday, Thursday at the latest. Baby we are going to stop in Detroit on our way home."

Ana pales instantly.

Ana's POV

Did he really just say that? Are we really going to Detroit? I am pretty sure all the color has drained from my face. I don't want him to feel like I am forcing him to go to Detroit. Is this part of his apology? Is he trying to prove something to me? I really do not want him to resent me for this suggestion. Maybe we can just spend the whole week in New York.

"Christian…I…." How do I tell him this? "Christian, I don't want to go to Detroit. I don't want you to rush into this, you were right last night in your study as well, I can't force you to deal with this if you are not ready and I do not want you to feel like you have to follow my suggestions as part of your apology to me. I believe what you said last night in bed and again this morning. I forgive you, I forgave you the moment I woke up last night. I just want you to forgive me. We can just spend the week in New York and when you are ready we can go to Detroit if you want to. I don't want you to go if you are not ready because of something I said. I don't want you to resent me. We won't survive if you do. Please let's just spend the week in New York." I feel my eyes welling up. God I am so over crying all the time, I wish these hormones would settle down already but with me breastfeeding I still have a while to go. I feel him move closer to me on the bed, his legs now on either side of me effectively trapping me, still sitting face to face. His hand gently cups my cheek while his thumb brushes away my tears. He leans down and gently kisses me.

Christians POV

My god. My wife is simply amazing. She does not want to hurt me, or push me into anything. She truly wants to protect me as much as I want to protect her. She forgives me so easily even when I am a huge fucking ass, but then I am the same. I can never stay mad at her for long, it just hurts too much. She is afraid I will resent her for this but it's just the opposite. She has given me the strength to finally face this, and I am ready. How can I make her understand this? I break the gentle kiss, and look deep into her eyes.

"Anastasia Rose Grey, I will never resent you for this. Ever. Yes it was your suggestion, but as you know I am not a man who does things he doesn't want to. Truth is if you had never brought it up I would have never considered going there. You seem to always know just what it is that I need. I spoke with Flynn this morning as well. I told him I think I am ready to do this and he agrees. I am tired of this hanging over me, over us and our future. I see such a bright happy future with you and I want this gone so I can be the man you and Teddy deserve to have in your lives. I know I can do this Ana, as long as you are by my side I can do this. You give me the strength to face all of this shit, you shine your light into all my darkness and I know that if you are there, I can finally lay this to rest. Please Ana. I can't do this without you baby." I nearly choke on my words, as I search the blue eyes staring back at me searching my soul. I see the fight return to her eyes, the strength that is always there, become stronger. Her eyes sparkle. She kisses me softly, letting telling me she loves me.

"When is our flight?" She smiles, and I grin in return.

Ana's POV

I have just finished packing clothes for Teddy as I am not sure what all is in New York, Christian said we can buy whatever we don't have, but I figure that is a waste when I can quickly pack up his clothes from here. I leave Teddy's bag at the top of the stairs and make my way back into my bedrooms with my son bouncing him the whole way. Christian is downstairs, gathering the stroller and car seat I requested and gathering what he will need work wise. He has packed his bag. I flip on the radio, to my mix station that I love they play everything from 90's hits, todays hits and some country, I dance around the room singing to Teddy who is just watching me and gurgling away as I start packing my clothes, mostly shorts, summer tops, capris, a few pairs of jeans, and couple nice sun-dresses, and comfortable sandals. I reflect once again on the words Christian said, I knew this was his decision when he was pleading with me to help him lay this to rest. He is already such a wonderful man perhaps now he will start seeing that for himself. For a brief moment I was staring at my lost boy which brought my fight back into full swing. I will be there by his side no matter what. I know this is going to be extremely difficult for him and now I am so thankful that Gail is coming along as I know we will need her to keep Teddy when we go to her grave, but then again I know that this is what Christian had in mind the whole time and no doubt why he insisted she come along. It's true what I said, that I forgave him the moment woke from my nightmare in his arms. We can always soothe one another and bring each other back to reality. We are each other's reality and with everything we have been through I know we can survive just about anything.

Scream by Usher comes on the radio and I love this song it's so damn sexy and I swear he wrote it about my husband, I wonder if Christian has heard it, if not I am going to have him listen to it. I begin to dance around the room with Teddy watching me from his seat on our bed, I am singing along to the lyrics, this song is really inappropriate for my son, but seeing as how he has no understanding of the words anyway, I don't feel guilty about it. I spin around and see my husband leaning against the door frame grinning at me. I dance over to him and pull Christian into my embrace, I wrap my arms around his waist grabbing his ass pulling him into me. His arms loosely circle me as I dance against him I spin so my back is to him and wiggle my ass against him, making him growl and myself giggle. He spins me back around pressing me close to his body and moves us to the beat of the song.

"I Love this song." I smile up at him.

"Funny it just became my favorite." He grins wickedly down at me pressing his erection into me. I giggle as he plants a kiss on my forehead.

"Careful now baby, your son is watching you." I tease

"He is never too young to learn." Christian grins back.

I smack his arm playfully. "Settle down Mr. Grey we will not be scarring our son today. Laters baby." I whisper into his ear and gently bite down. I get a very satisfactory growl in return.

"Gather our son. I will grab the rest of the bags." He kisses me again and releases me, adjusting his pants. It makes me smirk, knowing how I can affect him the same he does me.

"Come on Teddy bear, we are going for a ride on Daddy's airplane." I tell him as I gather him and head downstairs.

Twenty minutes later we are boarding the Jet. Christian has had a special section of seats installed, for the 3 of us which includes a safety seat for Teddy that is close to both mine and Christian's seats. I smile at my husband and shake my head at the memory of the shock I felt when we went to Aspen for Christian's birthday and I say the special section of seats, my husband is simply the sweetest and I love how much he protects us.

"What?" he asks with a grin.

"Nothing I just love you and the fact that you always keep us safe." I kiss his cheek

"Always Ana."

I buckle Teddy in who has fallen asleep, while Christian lets Stephen know we are ready to go. Gail and Taylor have settled in the seats across from us while Sawyer and Ryan sit across from us and up a row. Christian comes back, checks Ted's seatbelt, then mine before settling down next to me and fastening his. Sarah, the new flight attendant, I did not like the one from our honeymoon, so Christian replaced her, closes the doors and goes through the safety procedures.

The plane begins to move down the runway, and I grasp Christians hand tightly, he switches hands and wraps his arms around my shoulders dropping a kiss on my head, as I lay into his side. I really hate taking off and landing, other than that I am fine. Christian knows this and constantly tries to reassure me.

"It's ok baby. Relax. I've got you." His words soft against my hair.

Teddy remains asleep during takeoff which I am thankful for. I have read stories and articles about young babies who have a difficult time on airplanes, but not our son, he is such an easy going baby, except when he is not feeling well. I remember it was a few days after we came back from Aspen.

_I bolt up in bed. That cry that has me woken up is not my sons normal cry something is wrong. Christian bolts up the same time as me. _

"_What's going on?" his voice full of panic as I jump out of bed and race out of the room_

"_That is not his normal cry, something is wrong!" I call back as I race down the hall to my son. _

_I gently pick him up from his crib, and hold him close to me trying to offer him some comfort. "Mommy's here Teddy bear, Mommy's here." I rock back and forth with him, and plant kisses on his head. He is warm. Too warm. Christian is by my side in moments. _

"_What's wrong? Is he ok?" Christian strokes Teddy's hair._

"_He is warm. He has a fever." I say as gently as I can. I really cannot handle a Fifty style fit at the moment. All my focus is on my son. I take him over to the changing table and take his temperature._

"_Should I call my mother? Take him to the hospital? How high is his fever?" Christians voice is soft, but still filled with fear, panic and is slightly demanding. _

_The thermometer beeps and it reads 100.8. _

"_No baby I don't think we need to call your mom or go to the hospital his temperature is reading 100.8 which is not horrible, let's see if we can soothe him here first, if it gets worse we can go, but I do not think we need to panic. It's only a small fever."_

_I can feel the apprehension radiating off my husband. _

_I remove Teddy's pajamas and make my way back to the rocking chair and settle down with my son holding him close. His front to my front with his head resting on my shoulder. Christian is motionless watching my every move not quite sure what to do. As I meet his stare I see panic, fear, and uncertainty in his eyes. _

"_Baby could you bring me the soft baby blanket that is satin on one side and soft on the other?" he nods and goes over to the cabinet and brings the blanket to me. I know the Satin will feel cool against Teddy's skin but the blanket won't let him get cold and with his pajamas off he won't get over heated. Christian comes back over kneeling to the side of us and gently places the blanket over our son who has settled some but is still whimpering in my arms. _

_Christian is still at a total loss. "Baby, can you grab a cool cloth not soaking; let's see if we can help Teddy break his fever." _

"_Ok" his voice cracks as he reluctantly leaves the room. I know that he must be completely freaking out right now. He has no control over what is happening to our son and I know it's killing him that our son is sick and he can't fix it. This is why I know I need to give him tasks, make him feel useful. Christian is back in less than a minute and he resumes his kneeling position next to us and he gently lays the cloth on the back of Teddy's neck._

"_It's ok Teddy. Daddy's here too." He whispers and plants a gentle kiss on Teds head. Teddy turns his head so he is facing Christian and calms almost instantly at the sound of his voice. I can't see Teddy's eyes, but I know he's looking at his Daddy. Christian's eyes flash up to mine. _

"_Keep talking to him baby. He loves listening to you talk, he loves the sound of your voice, and you calm him down and make him feel better." _

_He nods and stand up to grab the foot rest and goes for the books. Teddy starts to whimper again and Christian races back into view with some story books. As soon as Christian is within view again Teddy settles. I continue to rock him and stoke his back. Christian strokes Teddy's little hand and arm which are resting on mine up by my shoulder, he plays with Teds hand and instinctively Teddy wraps his fingers around one of Christians. I hear a gasp from my husband his gaze fixed on the tine fingers holding his. After a few moments Christians eyes meet mine, and I see the tears. I smile brightly back at him and returns it. Without moving and inch or disrupting Teddy, Christian begins to read out of the Winnie the Pooh story book. It takes about 15 minutes before Teddy is back asleep but neither Christian nor I make a move to put him back in his crib. In fact we both fell asleep as well me with my head back in the rocker, Christian with one arm resting on the armrest and his head resting on it the other hand still on my arm with Teds fingers wrapped around Christian's. _

_We both woke to Teddy beginning to fuss. Christian kisses his head and brings the thermometer over and we take his temperature, which reads 98.9. I let out a huge sigh of relief, and Christian does the same. _

"_His temp is still a few tenths of a degree high but that is just because of my body heat combining with his." I smile very proud of us not panicking last night. I feed my son and pass him off to Christian who has already informed me he will be staying home all day today and I know that Teddy will not leave his sight for more than a minute. _

"Where is your head, baby you are spacing out?"

"I was just thinking that we are really lucky that Teddy is not a fussy baby. They only time he get really upset is when he does not feel well and that made me think of the night Teddy had his first fever."

"I was terrified that night. I was so scared that something was seriously wrong. You were so calm, and knew just what to do and I just felt so lost. It broke my heart that our son was not feeling well and that there was nothing I could do to help him."

"Ahh baby you forget who it was that got Teddy to settle down that night and who's hand held all night. Christian you were the one that calmed him down, he just need to see you and hear you as well. Baby you have this Magic ability to calm the both of us down. I just need to feel you, see you, hear you and my body and mind relax instantly. Teddy is the same way. He needed to see and hear and touch you that night and he went back to sleep."

"Magic huh?" he smirks at me

"Oh yes Mr. Grey you possess all kinds of magic." With that I place a gentle kiss on his lips and snuggle into his side and enjoy our flight to New York.


	25. New York

**A/N: I apologize now for this chapter if it seems choppy. It's not my best, but I tried to highlight their trip to New York. I wanted them to have some fun. Enjoy the city. Show that they really are a happy little family. I hope you enjoy. The next Chapter is all Detroit, it will be a tough one. I have about two chapters left in this story. I want to thank you all again for your loyalty and support. Without you and your support this story would not have become what it is. It would have stayed a one chapter deal. I hope you all continue to follow me I do have thoughts for another fifty story but I am going to put some more focus and time into my original work: A Moment in Paris. Thank you again. I love you all so much. I hope you enjoy New York. **

We have pulled up in front of The Plaza, in New York and I am sure my face is full of shock and awe.

"What are we doing at The Plaza, I thought you had an apartment in New York?" my face is full of confusion when I turn to look at Christian.

"WE do have an apartment here. It's here the Plaza is both a Hotel _and_ has condo apartments. When I first came here on business, I made myself a promise to have an Apartment in this hotel. It was about two and a half years after I started my business that I bought 3 of the apartments here and had them remodeled so they were one. I wanted to have space so each family member could have a room and security could stay close as well."

I am completely stunned with what I am hearing. My husband really does have more money than sense sometimes.

"Come on baby, let me show you OUR apartment." He smirks.

Christian climbs out of the car and comes around to my side, I have gathered Teddy from his car seat and Christian helps me out of the car and curls his arm around my waist and lead me into the lobby. This place is simply gorgeous. The lobby is spacious, with white marble tiles and walls, strong marble pillars stand firm and there is the most beautiful grand staircase I have ever seen. This hotel screams elegance, and I suddenly feel way out of my league.

"Relax you deserve to be here." Christian whispers down to me, reading my thoughts yet again.

He leads me over to the elevator and explains that this elevator is exclusive to the 3 apartments turned one giant apartment that he bought so basically this is our own private elevator. I can't help but smirk at that thought. I smile up at him and his answering smile lets me know we have the same thought. We arrive at the apartment. Christian takes out the key and opens the door.

"Hold on to Teddy" he states as he picks me up while I am holding our son and carries me into the apartment.

"Yet another threshold Mrs. Grey." He kisses my forehead before lowering me back to my feet. I am stunned by my surroundings. This apartment is bigger than Escala not as big as our house but wow.

"Holy Shit!" I gasp and I hear Christian chuckle at my reaction. We are currently standing in a very spacious living room, to our left is the security office and staff quarters which consists of 4 bedrooms, a small living room and kitchen and 3 bathrooms and the laundry room. To our right is the kitchen not quite as big as the one at Escala or the house but plenty big. Down the hall in front of us is an office for Christian and a bathroom.

Christian take my waist and leads me up the stairs, the first floor has, four spacious guestrooms each with their own en-suite bathroom. At the back of the guestroom floor is another staircase, almost hidden. Christian leads me up those stairs, there are only two doors up here he opens the first one and we step into a nursery that is an exact replica of Teddy's from the house. Everything is same from the lay down to the furniture, colors and décor. I am shocked. I glance up at my husband who is shifting a bit nervously. He gives a shy smile down to me.

"I wanted it to be familiar for Teddy. I wanted him to be comfortable." His voice unsure and soft.

"Christian it's amazing." I lean up and kiss him gently. "You are such a wonderful father going to this length to make your son happy and comfortable just goes to show how much you love him." I smile at him and I am rewarded with his bright and proud Christian smile.

"I am going to feed him, and then you can show me our room." I smirk at him.

"Deal baby, I am going to go make a few calls and check in with Taylor. I will be back shortly." I receive a chaste kiss before he leaves. I settle down with Teddy and feed him. He is sleepy. He did not sleep much on the plane and I know the flight wore him out. He barely finishes eating before he falls asleep. I burp him and place him in his crib. I look around the nursery and I can't believe that Christian did all of this. We have diapers and blankets and clothes here. My husband is amazing.

I quietly sneak out of the nursery and I am very curious about our bedroom. I walk down the hall to our door I step inside and am completely stunned. The room is huge, but really what else did I expect. There are huge floor to ceiling windows with a view that overlooks central park, and a private balcony. In the center of the room is a large four poster bed. To the right of the bed is the door that leads to the bathroom, I walk in and as I expected it's huge too, all black marble and has a large sunken jet tub, a large shower and his and hers sinks. Connected to the bathroom is a large walk in closet, probably the size of mine at the house, which is perfect as this is just a vacation home so to speak, I notice that Christian has some suites and clothes here and I am even more surprised to see some identical outfits of mine here. Fifty really has more money than sense, but it's such a sweet gesture from him that I won't protest having duplicate clothing. I walk back out of the bathroom and gasp. Across from the bed sits a dresser and hanging above the dresser are two large black and white photos. One is of Christian and I on our wedding day it's an up close candid shot of us dancing. It's clear we only have eyes for each other and maybe it's just me but I can see the love we had for one another on that day passing in our eyes. The second is a family picture taken of Christian, Myself and Teddy on the day we brought Teddy home from the hospital. I am sitting on the couch with Teddy cradled in my arms, Christian has one arm wrapped around my shoulders pulling me to him the other playing with Ted's tiny hand. I sit at the bottom of the bed and just stare at these pictures. I can't stop the tears welling in my eyes, these pictures a beautiful.

"I wanted you and our son to be where I am always even if all I can have are pictures; I sleep a little better when I away know I can look at you two whenever I want to. It's like just having your pictures present is like you actually being here with me." Christian kneels in front of me. My eyes lock with his and I fall deeper in love with the man before me. There is nothing I would not do for him. I want to stop all his pain, take away all his worries, and love him with every fiber of my being, every single day for the rest of my life.

I lean forward to seal our lips and pull him to me, leaning back pulling him with me, so he now half on me in the middle of our bed. I increase the intensity of our kiss, my tongue dancing with his, exploring every inch of his mouth, claiming him, telling him he is mine. My hands roam his back, his arms, my fingers dance in his hair. My hands move to either side of his face, I pull back and look into his eyes which match mine I am sure, shinning with nothing but unconditional, undying, hardcore love for each other. No words pass but then none need to. We both just know and can feel it. I claim his lips again as his hands run down my body. I feel the warmth of his hands through my jeans as he reached my apex. He applies pressure between my legs making me moan into his mouth, I reach down and grab him hard; his growl breaks our kiss leaving us both panting.

"Christian please baby I need you." Those 6 words are all it takes for my husband to have our clothes off in seconds and lost in our own world pleasure and passion.

After a very refreshing shower, I am dressed in light blue top, black Capri pants and black wedge sandals. I dry my hair quickly and go to find my son. He is not in his nursery so I head downstairs. I find him in Christian's arms and Christian is on the phone talking to whom, I have no idea but he is telling them he will hold a meeting with Clark tomorrow at 8a.m.

"No I will not come in later in the afternoon. Tell Clark that I will be there at 8am tomorrow morning, if he refuses then the negotiations stop, the offer is gone forever."

"As I thought." He hangs up the phone. "Taylor we are going to CYNC tomorrow. Meeting is at 8 am, I don't expect to be there long, maybe an hour."

"Yes Sir sounds good to me Sir."

"Nobody messes with your daddy Teddy. We will put them in their place or we walk. Isn't that right buddy?"

I slip my arms around Christian from behind. "It's True Teddy. Your daddy is a pretty, exceptional man."

Christian spins around in my arms and gives me a smile.

"Are you ready to go explore baby?"

"I am." I reply with a huge smile. I grab my bag that has our camera in it. Gail meets us in the living rooms ready to go as well. We all head out. We are actually going to walk around Central Park I am so excited.

Central Park is gorgeous. So many different hidden aspects. We have come across an Alice in Wonderland statues playground area. I walk over and have my picture taken here with Teddy. This was one of my favorite stories growing up. We walk a bit more into the park and I find a Carousel I walk over there.

"Ana what are you doing?"

"Getting in line to ride the Carousel of course."

"No you are not."

I stop and gape at my husband. "What do you mean I am not? Christian its safe, thousands of people have ridden this and I am going to be one of them and so is your son. Nothing is going to happen."

I can see the inner battle my husband is having with himself and I see him relent. "Fine but I am coming with you and I will hold Teddy." He states and I know it's not an option but I don't care I am so excited. Christian buys the tickets and we get lucky and are able to walk on. We find two horses next to each other I climb on and then watch Christian climb up with Teddy. I can't help the grin on my face. I find Gail on the side and motion for her to get the camera. As the ride starts, my grin gets wider. Chrisitan actually looks slightly terrified. I have to giggle. He looks at me and glares but that just causes me to stick my tongue out at him and giggle again. He relaxes and allows a smile to creep across his face. By the end of the ride we are both laughing. The ride comes to a stop and I see Gail race around to where we are.

"Smile" she calls out both Christian and I look up at her, Chrisitan turns Teddy so he can be seen in the picture.

"That was so much fun!" I gush as we make our way back out.

"Yes Ana it actually was. Thank you." He smiles widely at me and I melt.

We place Teddy in the stroller, which Gail asked to push, and we continue to walk and find our way out of the park and I see FAO Schwarz.

I look to my husband with pleading eyes; I have always wanted to come here. He smiles and shakes his head in resignation, I jump with glee and we head over to the world famous Toy Store.

This place is huge! I am so excited I can barely contain myself. We are greeted instantly by an associate and Christian asks to speak to a manager. The manger comes over and Christian introduces himself. By the time the conversation is over, we have our own personal sales associates, whatever we decide to buy is to be taken to a separate register and held and will be delivered back to the apartment.

"Well Mrs. Grey, go spend some money." I smile widely at my husband and throw my arms around him and kiss him.

The first place I want to go is over to the American Doll section. I have always wanted one but never asked for one growing up because well they are expensive and I never wanted my mom and Ray to spend that much money.

I create a doll, for myself, Mia, Kate, Grace and my mom. Gail creates on for herself and we both create one for Sophie. The guys just stand off and watch Gail and I get excited over every detail. I know I am like a little kid but I keep my doll with me, the rest the sales associate's helper takes them away. Next we find ourselves in building section, Christian takes a slight interest, and he finds a really cool 3D 50000 piece set of the Empire State building he picks it up for Elliot.

"I think my brother will really like this." He smiles at me.

"Well get it then. I am sure he will love it." I smile back and he nods and hands it to the sales associate.

I found a smaller set it actually has, The Empire State Building, Staten Island, The Statue of Liberty and Central Park. I hand it to the associate in secret. I don't want Christian to see it.

We leave and find ourselves in the instrument section, the large floor Piano that you see in all the movies is there. I go over and start jumping on it with the kids and other adults that are there. I turn to see Chrisitan smiling and he comes to join me. Even though he can play the Piano for real, he just has fun with me. We are laughing uncontrollably when we finish and make our way back to Gail and Taylor who are smiling and so are Sawyer and Ryan. Christian has found a miniature Piano for Teddy that he adds to the purchases. Our final stop is the Wonderful World of Stuffed Animals. I drag Christian over and we make a baby teddy-bear for Teddy and we make one for each of us. We leave the area with our one little bear family which I insist stay with us. I take Teddy's bear and lay in the stroller next to him. He instantly snuggles against it. Making both Christian and I grin widely. We make a brief stop at the register, Christian signs the bill and give the address of where to deliver our purchases. We leave the store and make our way back to the apartment.

We decide to have dinner brought up to the apartment, so that everyone can relax. Once Christian and I put Teddy to bed, Christian goes downstairs to do a little work before bed. I decide to take a hot relaxing bath. Pouring in some jasmine and lavender oils. I sink down and sigh, the hot water feels heavenly. I feel myself completely relax and soon I feel like I could fall asleep, knowing that my husband will have a heart attack if I do fall asleep in the tub, I reluctantly climb out of the bath. I wrap myself in a towel, and do my nightly routine of brushing my teeth, washing my face, adding the fact that I have to dry my hair. Once finished I slip on a pair of panties and one of Christians shirts and climb into bed, I had not realized how exhausted I was until my head hit the pillow. I barely remember feeling Christian climb into bed and pull me into his arms.

It's Tuesday morning, what time I have no idea. Turning over I notice Christian is missing from bed but I expected him to be since he has his meeting early this morning. I glance at the clock and see it's almost 10am. I never sleep this late, ever. I fly out of bed and dress quickly and rush downstairs.

Gail is in the living room with Teddy.

"Gail I am so sorry I slept so late." I apologize to her.

"Oh Ana don't worry about it. Mr. Grey, was up with Teddy this morning and fed him before his meeting. He said you were exhausted and to let you sleep. It was no big deal I was up anyway to get Jason going, besides I like my alone time with this little fella, and it's wonderful to not have to worry about anything but him." She smiles warmly at me and I know that my life would be more complicated and non-functional without this woman. She is a saint.

"Thank you Gail. I honestly do not know what I would do without you." I smile and settle down next to her and Teddy.

"Any word from Christian or Taylor? Christian expected his meeting to be over by now."

"Nothing yet. I am sure it went fine Ana. You know Mr. Grey He does not like to lose and usually gets his way." Gail chuckles and so do I.

Sawyer comes out of the security office. "Ana, Mr. Grey and Taylor are on their way up."

"Thank you Luke!" I jump up and race to the front door fling it open just in time to see the Elevator open, I fly down the hallway and see the smirk on my husband's face and I jump into his arms my legs instantly wrapping around his waist and seal my lips to his. I barely hear Taylor chuckle and leave us to enter the apartment.

"Well that was quite a welcome home baby, not that I am complaining but what's the occasion?" He grins.

I just smile at him, not wanting to explain that a very small part of me is still a little shaken from the other night. "I just missed you that's all. I fell asleep before you came to bed and slept in way to late today so I did not even get a chance to say good morning or wish you luck at the meeting." I pout a little.

"I am sorry Mrs. Grey. You were just so peaceful, I did not want to disturb you. Forgive me?" He smiles playfully

"Only if you kiss me again and tell me how your meeting went." With that he seals his lips to mine and walks us into the apartment. He settles me on a barstool in the kitchen and grins.

"The meeting went well. CYNC is now officially apart of GEH, Inc. I simply went into the meeting, the entire board was there, I re-stated my offer and the board agreed, as it turns out the bastard I have been dealing with never presented my offer to the board he was trying to get them to agree to a lower deal mean-while trying to make my offer larger and he was going to walk away with the difference. Needless to say he has been terminated without his severance package and will not be paid out on any of the shares he once held with the company."

I am stunned, First that the guy would try to do that, but secondly, because my husband figured it out and closed this deal in less than two hours.

"Wow baby I am impressed. All they needed was your presence here and you got the job done. I guess that's why you are where you are in your business you know your stuff. I am proud of you." I give him a chaste kiss.

"Thank you baby." He smiles in return.

"Well since your morning went so well. We need to get going. I have a surprise for you."

"Oh really Mrs. Grey? What have you been up to?"

"You will see go upstairs and change, jeans or shorts, and a white shirt. Now go. I swat his butt." He grins and head up to change. Once he is out of earshot I turn to Taylor.

"Are the bags in the car?"

"Yes ma'am"

"And the meeting and box has been confirmed?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Excellent. Thank you so much for your help Taylor. He is going to be so excited. I expect all you to enjoy yourselves. I know that none of you will drink, because you will still be on alert but please try to have some fun."

"I get matching smiles from Taylor and Luke."

"We will Ana." Taylor replies.

"Ana where are we going?" Christian asks as he re-enters the kitchen.

"I will tell you once we are on the way. Now Come on."

We head down to the car. Taylor and Gail up front, Christian and I in the back with Teddy and Sawyer and Ryan following in the car behind us.

After about 15 minutes, Christian looks to me again. "Will you tell me now?" he grins

I giggle and nod. I turn to the back and grab one of the bags and hand it to Christian. He looks at me puzzled.

"Open it." I smile

He un-wraps the bag and his eyes widen as he pulls out the Jersey. His face whips to mine, and I practically jumping in my seat.

"Do you like it?" I ask

"Yes I do Ana, I love it, but I think I am still a bit confused what do the Seattle Mariners have to do with the surprise?"

"Baby we are going to the game today. They are in New York playing the Yankees. I thought it would be fun for us all to go. When you told me we were coming here I asked Taylor to check into it because I would have no idea where to begin. We have our own box, and I made arrangements for you to meet the teams. I even packed Teddy's Jersey, so that he would be prepared. Now you can enjoy your first baseball game with your son, and you both have a jersey to wear."

The grin on my face is so wide that if I cared, I would notice my cheeks hurt.

"Ana….wow thank you baby." He is stunned and surprised. He leans over to kiss my head and grasps my hand.

"Thank you Taylor for helping Ana."

"My pleasure sir. Enjoy."

Twenty minutes later we pull up to the Stadium. Christian has not stopped grinning the whole way over. I get Teddy out of his seat and jump out of the car. Sawyer opens the back of the car for me, and I pull out the bags and hand them out, they all have their own Jerseys to wear and I pull out Teddy's and hand it to Christian who has slipped his new jersey on and he helps me put on Teddy's before taking him allowing me to slip on mine. I pull out a baby baseball cap for teddy and put it on him then grab the camera I love this. I snap a few pictures of father and son before the camera is stolen from me and family pictures are taken.

We head into the stadium where I meet with Mr. Duncan who is head security for the teams and whom Taylor spoke with for the meet and greet. The teams are out on the field warming up and practicing. He leads us out to the field and even I get the significance of standing here. We meet several members of each team and even the Yankee players have a soft spot for little Teddy in his jersey.

We are told that we need to exit the field as the teams are off the locker rooms and they are opening the gates. We head up to the box and order lunch. I am starving. I get scolded by my husband for not eating breakfast but I explained that I woke up late and knew about the surprise, so it really wasn't a big deal. He was still a little upset with me but the promise of punishment later tonight satisfied both of our urges. I have convinced my husband to take the guys and tour the stadium. I told him we would not leave the box or answer the door for any reason. Gail and I would stay put. I wanted to feed Teddy and have him nap for a bit before the game starts. Christian was very reluctant but I explained we were perfectly safe and to go enjoy himself.

After feeding Teddy, and putting him down for a nap. Gail and I just sit and chat and play some cards. It's really relaxing. I am so excited that Christian is excited about his surprise. It's just over an hour when the guys make their way back to the box and I can see the excitement in Christian's eyes. He really has enjoyed himself with the others and I am so glad.

I am wrapped tight in his arms and receive a kiss. "Thank you baby." He whispers so only I can hear him.

Teddy wakes up half way through the 3rd inning; Christian gets him and brings him to sit in his lap. I smile as Christian starts explaining the game to Teddy. Telling him about the different positions and about the players on the Mariners. He also promised Teddy he would explain the game as often as he needed to and to teach him how to play when he gets older. I am able to sneak several more pictures of father and son watching the game. My heart swells watching Christian with Teddy, for someone who claimed he did not have a heart when I first met him; it's blindingly obvious that he does and knows how to use it. The love I see for his son is overwhelming. The game ends in our favor with the Mariners winning 8-5.

We get back to the apartment and Christian tells me to change into jeans and a sweatshirt, he too has a surprise for me. Teddy is staying with Gail and Taylor. Saywer accompanies us, we eat pizza at a small restaurant almost hidden. We stroll down the street hand in hand, the sun is beginning to set and Christian starts to move us along faster and soon we are in front of the Empire State Building. We head in side and are greeted by the tourist manager. He and Christian exchange a few words and we are lead to the first elevator, I am surprised that there are not more people here.

"Christian why is this place empty I thought it would be busy." I am met with his arrogant smile.

"I wanted this to be special so I donated a large sum of money to make sure we had privacy."

I smile and shake my head as he pulls me in front of him and wraps his arms around my waist.

We exit the elevator only to enter another one across the hall, we do this once more before we are at the top. Christian leads me out onto the observation deck. I am amazed by the view. Christian leads me to the rail, looking out we can see the skyline, the water and yes far off in the distance the Statue of Liberty, which we will also see up close tomorrow as well but I feel as though I can see all of New York from here.

I feel Christian's arms wrap around me pulling me tight to him, my back to his front. His nose nuzzles my hair and neck.

"Well what do you think?" his voice soft

"Christian is beautiful. Thank you so much for bringing me here."

"I am glad you like it. I love you Ana, nothing is ever going to change that, nothing you do will ever stop me from loving you. I used to think it was not possible to love women, other then family, now I know it's not possible for me to love any other woman besides you. I promised I would show you the world. I promised to lay the world down at your feet. You saw all of Paris from the Eiffel Tower, now I lay New York at your feet as well." I can hear the sincerity and emotion in his voice.

Oh my. What a declaration. Any doubt I had this morning, his words have just mad them vanish. The tears pour down my cheeks as my eyes lock with his and my arms slide around his neck.

"Christian I love you too so much. I love all that you do for me. I love that you never want me to miss out on anything. I love that you take care of me and our son. Know that no man will ever compare to you and I could never love you any less. I love that you want to show me the world, give me anything I could ever want, but baby all I ever wanted is you. You are my world, and by you being mine. You have given me everything." I reach my tip-toes to seal our lips.

"Thank you." I whisper against his. Safe in each other's arms we watch the sunset over New York City.

I wake up early Wednesday morning. I feel completely satisfied from last night. When we got back from The Empire State Building we all just hung out and watched a movie. After putting Teddy to bed Christian and I went to bed early and indulged in some kinky fuckery. It was delicious.

The thoughts from last night are making me squirm and I turn over to face my husband, he looks so peaceful. I hate to wake him but I need him to satisfy this aching in my core. I place gentle kisses on his chest moving upwards to his neck. I lick and suck that soft spot that I know drive him crazy. He groans and I can see he is starting to harden beneath the sheet. My lips move to his ear.

"Wake up Mr. Grey. I need you this morning." I whisper in his hear and run my tongue over it and gently bite down the lobe pulling it into my mouth and sucking softly, while slipping my hand beneath the covers to stroke him. His hips sway with my movements and he growls. "Ana" his voice rough with sleep, but his eyes open and meet mine.

"Good Morning Mr. Grey, This is your wake up call."

"Mmmm what a fantastic way to wake up." He grins and glides his body on top of mine. His mouth latched to mine claiming me possessively. My body responds instantly bursting into flames. I need this man, like I need air to breathe. His lips move across my face, down my neck he spends time in the hollow of my neck making me writhe. His hand runs down my side and between my legs he groans when he feels my arousal. His finger slide in and pump slowly and gently exploring my inner walls, his thumb gently circling my clitoris and my hips buck up to his hand.

"Please" I whimper and cling to his body, holding him to me feeling his skin against mine. He removes his fingers and sucks them into his mouth with a heavenly look on his face. I feel his erection against my folds and he thrusts sliding against me but not in me yet. Feeling him hard and hot against my core rubbing me, causing me to cry out.

"Christian" I cry out. "I need you. Please"

"I know baby." His voice husky as he seals his lips to mine again and gently thrusts into my core, my walls wrapping around him, pulling him in as far as he can possibly go.

"Oh God." I groan. My hands on his ass holding him inside me not wanting him to move just yet. I just need to feel him. He has filled me completely. His body is pressed into mine, he is resting on his forearms, sensing I need him close. His eyes lock with mine and we just gaze at each other. I feel my pleasure increasing and he has not started moving yet. Christians breathing matching mine, growing harsher. He rolls his hips slightly, causing me to arch my back to him and moan.

"I love you." I state as he begins to move soft and slowly. The slow movement building my release steadily, I feel his torso undulating against me. His pelvis hitting mine with each movement stimulating the bundle of nerves that is set to explode.

"I Love you Ana." His voice gruff with passion, his lips on mine again.

"Come on baby you are close, I can feel you Ana." He whispers against my lips. He continues his slow and steady movements. My hands digging into his ass. I feel the coils begin to snap.

"Christian." I gasp as my body hits its release and I come around him. My core clenching him tightly my hands gripping him to me. This man has complete control over my body. His strokes stay gentle as he brings me down from my orgasm, how he manages to control his release still amazes me.

"You are so beautiful, and all mine." He grins and I smile back as no words are forming. Christian starts to move a little faster and harder his breathing becoming harsher as he races towards his release bringing me with him again. I am building quickly I don't even try to control this. Christians thrusts faster and faster. He buries his head in my neck. His moans and growls vibrating against my skin and to my core, his sounds of pleasure push me higher.

"Fuck Ana." He growls again before possessing my mouth. I whimper into his mouth I am close again and he knows it, he increases his pace his strokes becoming harder.

"Ana….Come on baby….."

"Christian let go baby…let go…" I pant needing to feel him release himself into me.

"SHIT…FUCK…ANA!" he calls out roughly his body tense, his head tossed back and his face flush with passion screwed up in pleasure as I feel him jump and jerk inside me and explode, his release causing me to reach mine and I fall over the edge to join him calling out his name.

We both bask in the afterglow of our lovemaking session. I am curled against him. My hands are playing in his chest hair his hands stoking my back, just enjoying each other, when Teddy starts fussing over the monitor. I kiss Christian softly and rise to gather my son. I have just finished feeding Teddy and begin to change his diaper and dress him for the day when Christian joins us. He bends down to kiss Teddy and tell him good morning. He then moves to gather his clothes to dress him. I move so that Christian can finish getting him ready with a kiss to each of my men I head to the shower.

About an hour later we are all ready for our day. We drive over to the Staten Island Ferry, we decide to just float past The Statue of Liberty we don't really need to go to liberty island this time, maybe on the next trip. We all pile on the ferry and float across we are able to get several pictures, group, family and individual ones with the Statue behind us. We find a nice little restaurant for lunch and then head back. Our Next stop is ground Zero, we walk around the site. The whole memorial is overwhelming. I have cried most of the afternoon; it's just emotional being here. I even saw all the men shed a tear or two, which I won't point that out to them. The last stop we make of the day is to the New York Public Library. Christian knew that I could not visit New York without stopping here. I spend over an hour looking around, browsing the different sections seeing the old books on display all the History that is here is just amazing. Not wanting to keep everyone waiting on me. We leave, with Christian promising we can come back and I can spend as many days as I want roaming through all the sections of books. I smile and agree.

It's Thursday and my mood has taken a slight downfall. We are leaving today and it's not just that I am sad to be leaving New York I am getting increasingly nervous about Detroit. Christian's voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Baby you ready? Teddy is with Gail and Ryan. Taylor and Sawyer are coming with us."

"Yeah but where are we going?"

"It's a surprise, Come. Let's go." I take his hand as he leads me downstairs. After kissing Teddy good bye, we had to the car. Taylor drives and they still will not tell me where we are going.

Reaching our destination, I suddenly realize where we are. 5th Avenue.

"You did not think I would let you leave New York without shopping 5th avenue, did you?" his grin is wide as my mouth just hangs open in shock. He exits the car and Sawyer opens the door for me while Christian helps me out.

"Time to spend_ our_ money baby." Grabbing my hand and leading me in to the Prada store.

"Ana I do not want you to look at the price. If you like it, get it. If I catch you looking at the prices then I will just buy it anyway. Baby you can have whatever you want do you understand me?"

My eyes water a bit. I know that he just wants to give me everything I could ever possible need. I kiss him again and allow myself to get excited. I head straight for the shoes. After about an hour I have picked out several pairs of shoes, and purses. We head next over to Armani, both Christian and I have picked out several new items, I have new work clothes, and Christian has picked out several new suites. I have picked out and all dark grey one for him that makes me weak when I see him in it. After Armani, Christian takes me to Cartier; I am very uncomfortable in here. All this jewelry is way expensive. What catches my eyes however, is a platinum heart shaped necklace with three stones, a green emerald, a soft white pearl and a blue sapphire. It's stunning and then it dawns on me. This has all three of our birthstones. This is not a coincidence. I whip my head to my husband and he just smiles but looks a bit nervous.

"Do you like it?" The sales associate already has it out of the case and Christian places it around my neck.

"So we are always together." He shrugs and smiles.

"Christian it's stunning. I can't believe you. I love this. Thank you so much. It's perfect."

We leave the store with a few more purchases and the car is waiting for us. I snuggle against my husband as we make our way back to the apartment.

"Thank you Christian. I have really enjoyed New York. I can't wait to come back."

"You are welcome baby. I am glad you enjoyed yourself. I had a great time to thank you for my surprise and thank you for enjoying our shipping trips. It gives me great pleasure, joy and happiness to see you so happy and enjoying yourself."

Two hours later we are all loaded back on the GEH, Inc. Jet preparing to take off. I know I am not the only one on the plane who is nervous about the next couple of days.

Next stop, Detroit.


	26. Sorry for the Wait :(

Hi to all my lovely loyal followers.

Sorry for getting you excited thinking this was a new chapter. I wanted to let you all know that I have not stopped writing this story. I don't normally get too personal with you all, as I know you all just want the next chapters, hahahaha, but my grandmother had been getting progressively worse so I had been spending more time over with her and she passed away a few weeks ago and I had to help with the funeral services and such.

I am still writing, and as all of you who have read up to now you know this next chapter Christian is facing Detroit and all the demons that come with it. With that being said, I needed a bit of happiness before I could dive back into this next chapter, so I was focusing on my original story, A Moment In Paris, also posted on this site.

This next chapter of fifty has taken a lot of time and effort to write and I am still not done with it. It has been very emotionally and mentally draining to write it as I want this chapter to be all you have expected and have been waiting for. Please bare with me a little bit longer and hopefully this will be worth the wait. Thanks so much to you all. You really have no idea how much your support, reviews, and PM mean to me.

3 ~ Dee


	27. Detroit Part 1

**A/N: Thank you to all of you for your wonderful patience with me. Some of you know what has been going on and it was hard to get my mind to focus on these emotionally draining chapters. I have decided to split Detroit into 2 chapters so that you don't have to wait forever. Thank you to each one of you who take the time to read this story and who review, I honestly would not have continued this story past the first chapter without all of your support. I love you all!**

**If you have time please check out my original work; it's called A Moment In Paris. It is about a young couple in love, no cheating or anything like that as you all know that is not my style but I would really love the feedback on what you all think. **

**Again Thank you, and hopefully now that I can focus again you won't have to wait months for Detroit Part 2. **

**Enjoy!**

**Always Dee**

Our decent into Detroit has begun and I immediately feel Christian tense beside me, he has been quiet for most of the ride. As soon as it was ok to get up and move, he picked Teddy up from his seat and sat with him in his arms. Teddy fell asleep with Christian holding him and slept for the entire flight, it wasn't his nap time and he slept more than he probably should have but I am not going to get upset about it, Teddy feels safe and comfortable with Christian, and Christian needs his son, and me, he sat holding Teddy and had his hand clasped to mine the entire flight. He was silent, but I could see his mind going a million miles a minute. I know my mind was for sure. I have been trying to mentally prepare myself for this part of our trip but it's not working. I really have no idea what to expect. I don't know what Chrisitan I am going to be dealing with and a part of me is still very hesitant about this. I know we would not be doing this if he did not feel like he was ready or that he needed to, I just worry about him. I don't want him to be in any more pain then he already is with all of this. I want him to be able to finally face this and work through it. But I don't want to push him or force him. Christian is such an amazing person, he has overcome so much and come such a long way. He has finally learned how to accept love, but it still overwhelms him. He is finally starting to see what is right in front of him. He is much closer to his family then he ever was before and he enjoys being around them. What gets me so upset still and what I hate is that, he still lets so much of his past dictate his life and some things I know are never going to change like his fear for our safety, that is deep rooted and will never change and honestly I don't want it to. I know we will always be protected. Yes he made something of himself, but he still allows his past control, all the while, still trying to prove he is not nothing. What he does not realize is that he has already proven that. He still does not see what a truly amazing man he is and that breaks my heart, I want him to fully accept that he is worth every single thing he has and more. I lean in closer to him. My head resting on his shoulder and I give his hand a squeeze hopefully in support. He returns it and places a kiss on the top of my head.

Within the hour we have landed and checked into the Hotel. I have fed Teddy and he is now out in the living area with his Daddy while I un-pack our bags. Gail and Taylor are in the suite next to us while Sawyer and Ryan are down below us. I know that everyone can feel the tension all around us and I am sure that Taylor has advised the guys to keep it low key and to stay out of the way. We all know that we are dealing with a delicate situation. Taylor has also advised me that I am in charge so to speak. He knows that I am going to be the only one that Christian will reach out to, and that they are to stay away from us unless I signal otherwise. I told Taylor that while we go to the cemetery and any other place Christian needs to go, that he and Sawyer were to accompany us while Ryan stays with Teddy and Gail. I really do not think that Christian is going to want Teddy with us but who knows. Whatever he needs the next few days he can have.

Making my way out of the bedroom, I come across a sight that warms my heart; Christian is on the floor lying on his stomach with Teddy on his back on a blanket. Christian is talking to him and playing with one of the toys, Teddy is excited at this as he is squealing and flailing his arms and kicking his legs in response.

"You like this toy don't you Teddy. Do you know what color this is? This is Red and has the number one on it." I stand and watch for a few moments as Christian points out the different colors and numbers. I always knew that Christian would be an amazing father. I hate that he continues to doubt himself but I am hoping that this trip will give him the release that he needs and allow him to see the man I see every day. I leave them alone and go to the kitchen to prepare lunch. There was sandwich supplies here I am sure Christian arranged for the kitchen to be stocked. Gail joins me and we prepare sandwiches fruit and chips. We all eat, simple small talk conversation here and there but it's mostly quiet.

Christian excuses himself to go check on something and Gail and I decide to put Teddy down for his nap. I have just got him changed when I hear screaming, which I recognize as my husbands. I ask Gail to continue putting Teddy asleep as I go out to check on my husband to see what has him so upset.

"I FUCKING SAID NO, WHAT PART OF THAT DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND?" Christian screams and I know for a fact he is not on his phone and he is most likely talking to Taylor. I walk out to the Living area,

"Sir, I really must advise that I or Sawyer accompany you."

"TAYLOR….."

"Hey baby, what's wrong?" I ask him as I step between him and Taylor, giving Taylor a look to back off a bit, and I wrap one arm around his waist pulling him to me the other hand cupping his face and bringing his eyes down to mine. I see so much pain in his eyes my heart breaks for him I want to take it all away so he never has to hurt again.

"I don't want them to see. I need to do something, I need you to come but I don't want them to see." His voice is so low, low enough that only I can hear him and he sounds terrified, and defeated.

"Ok Christian, what are we going to be doing?"

"Going for a drive."

"OK we will go alone. Gail is putting Teddy down for his nap, why don't you go tell him bye or put him down and then we can go."

He nods in agreement, placed a gentle kiss on my lips and walks down the hall to the room we have set up our son in.

As soon as he has cleared the living room I spin to Taylor.

"What the hell was that about?" I demand

"Ma'am we do not know where you plan to go, for security reasons I must advise against you both being out on your own."

"I can understand where the concern is from your stand point; however I really do not think we will run into any problems, no one really knows we are here. So here is what we are going to do. You have Sawyer on standby with you ready to leave if necessary, track our phones so you know where we are at. I will text you when we arrive at where ever we are going and if we have a problem I will send you the crisis code, through the car or phone, I will also let you know when we are on our way back. I know this does not ease your concerns completely but it's the best you are going to get. For whatever reason Christian needs this to just be us, and that's what he will get."

I can see the war Taylor is having in his head but also the pride in his eyes at my behavior

"Ok Ana, we will do this your way, we will be on high alert, but if you fail to text me we will come after you immediately."

"Deal. I promise to message you, as far as Christian will be concerned I will be texting Gail about Teddy."

Taylor nods his affirmation just as Christian re-appears, there is faint smile on his lips from being with his son, but the tension is still rolling off of him in huge waves and I see it and feel it as it engulfs me as well.

"Are you ready?" his voice still low, as he asks.

"Yes." I grab his hand and my cell phone off the counter slipping it into the back pocket of my jeans.

Christian does not even acknowledge Taylor as we leave but I meet Jason's eyes and nod to him our understanding. He nods in return and I follow Christian out of the door.

We settle into the SUV. Both sitting in silence, Christian has not started the car yet he just sits staring out the window. I watch him, trying to read his emotions. I am getting fear, doubt, anger, all mixed together, his face turns to meet mine, our eyes lock and without a doubt in my mind, my lost boy has returned full force and I expect him to stay for quite a while. I gently take his hand as his eyes search my face.

"I need to go somewhere Ana. I never wanted to expose you to this, I have always wanted to keep you shielded from this, but I am being selfish because I need you to be with me because I can't face it alone. I will keep you safe; I won't let anybody hurt you. I promise. Please trust me." His eyes filled with unshed tears and his voice soft and scared.

I want to cry and hold him in my arms take away his pain, but I know that can't happen until we face his demons here and where ever we are going is something he needs to do. I take a deep breath to stop my tears.

"Christian I trust you with my life. I am here for you always. I will not allow you to go through this alone. You are never alone, and you are not selfish. I want to be here for you always. It's going to be ok." I reach with my other hand to gently cup his face. He turns his head to plant a gentle kiss into my palm. He takes a deep breath and starts the car pulling out into traffic, his hand finds mine again and grasps tight as we drive in silence.

About 20 minutes we have entered a neighborhood and not a good one. Christians grip on my hand tightens as we have clearly entered a very bad part of town and it suddenly hits me where we are headed and I think my breathing has stopped.

I have no idea how Christian remembers how to get here or if he just gathered the information when he looked into his past. He comes to a stop at the end of a cul-de-sac and parks the car, turns of the ignition and just stares at the house in front of us. The house is completely falling apart, clearly abandoned. The front and side windows are broken and the door is missing. The wood frame of the house looks to be rotting and the paint is just about all peeled off, and has graffiti all over it. There looks to be a hole in the roof and nothing but dirt where the yard is supposed to be.

Christians grip on my hand is still tight and desperate his breathing has become shallow. I quickly and quietly text Taylor to let him know we have stopped and we are fine. Now I can have my full attention on my husband without the fear of the cavalry storming in to rescue us. Turing my attention back to my husband, I can see the tears running down his cheeks, and the anger building inside him. He hits the steering wheel and growls loudly. Next thing I know he is out of the car standing in front of it facing the house. I scramble out of the car and see him reach for a rock he throws is hard at the house, hitting the front and it bounces back a bit before falling to the ground, just as I reach his side.

"This is where I lived, this is where I came from, this is how little she loved me, this is what she made me, this who I am Ana." And with that last statement Christian crumbles to the ground on his knees I fall right down with him onto mine and wrap him in my arms, his face is buried in my neck and his arms wrap around my body gripping me as if I am his life saver, clinging to me like a scared child.

"Christian I want you to listen to me." I pull his eyes to lock with mine. "Where you come from does not dictate who you become. Yes this is where you lived for only 4 years of your life, if that long, but this is NOT who you are or what you have become." Tears stream down from both his and my eyes but I will my voice to remain strong. "Your mom loved you, you have said so yourself, she just could not take care of you and was scared."

"But what...what if this is what I become. I keep replaying what you just said over and over in my head, since we uncovered that fact at Flynn's, what if I am the same way. I love Teddy, but I am so scared that I can't take care of him."

"Christian your mind is playing tricks with you. Don't you see you already do take care of Teddy. You have more love for him and love him so completely and he feels it every single day, he knows you love him and he loves you in return. Yes your mom was scared and could not take care of you but the difference is that you are not lost like her, you know what you want and you have the resolve and determination to fight for it. You are not in the same situation as your mom, you are not addicted to drugs and you are not alone. You have a family that loves. You are a very successful man Christian Grey and you can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You have already made the decision to be a great father and you succeed every day. You love our son more than your own life and it shows. Christian I know you will do whatever it takes to keep Teddy safe, nothing is ever going to change that."

I keep my eyes locked on his and can see the doubt, pain and self-loathing very clear but it its staring to fade.

"This place is where you lived temporarily but it does not get to dictate who you are. You came from a good family, who love you and raised you and protected you. They kept you safe when you were younger and supported you, even if was reluctant at first, when you started your business. Your parents are Carrick Grey and Grace Trevelyn-Grey. You are their son. Your brother is Elliot Grey. Your sister is Mia Grey. You are Christian Trevelyan Grey. You are a smart man with and amazing eye for business. You started your business by yourself; you learned quick and surrounded yourself with the best people to compliment you. You are a caring man who is helping to feed entire countries and developing technology to help people who need it. You care about your staff and you love your family unconditionally. You decided to change your lifestyle to make me happy and you have given me more than I could have ever dreamed of. When you find something you want you fight for it to make sure it stays yours forever. You are a very kind, generous, passionate, caring man, who can love so deeply and who is so deeply loved in return. That is who you are. Not this." I stare into his eyes and I can see that my words are having some effect on him.

He nods slightly. "I Know. I am a Grey." His voice so quiet

"It kills me Christian that this is how you see yourself because it is not at all who you are. You are an amazing man and I love you so much." I press my lips to him demanding control of his mouth and receiving it, showing him how much I love him, trying to bring him back to the now and get him out of his past, all of this shit boils down to one thing, his birth mom.

"I love you Ana. Thank you. I have just had this horrifying feeling ever since we landed. I just feel so lost. So much of these feelings have been buried for well over 20 years, I hid everything, I did not want to be hurt anymore. I refused to feel the love my family so freely offered because I was scared to lose them too. Now all of this emotion has been let loose and I am not sure how to deal with it. It's all a bit overwhelming, but I don't want to stop it anymore. I know that I have to finally deal with all of this so I can fill in the holes, the missing pieces, because you and Teddy deserve nothing less."

"Do you know how proud I am of you? Hmm? For being able to admit all of this? But what you fail to understand it that Teddy and I have everything we could possibly need from you. In my eyes you are whole, you are my fifty and I love everything about you. Don't you see? This is not about becoming what you think we deserve, this is for you, to finally see the man that I see, this is about you finally understanding that while your life may not have started out the best, you have been strong from the beginning, you overcame so much to prove to the world that you can do anything you set your mind to. This is about you Christian, and about you accepting who you are, every aspect, seeing what an amazing man all of this has made you, this is about you believing in yourself to continue to be amazing and to finally see the man that your family sees, your employees see, that I see, the man who loves his family unconditionally, the man whose son is going to grow up idolizing and the man that stole my heart the moment I looked into his perfect grey eyes, and the man whom without I could not live."

"How…." Christian chokes on his words. "Ana how is it you see it and I can't."

"Simple Christian, you have allowed your nightmares, your fears, the questions that you will never get answers to, control the way you view yourself. You know what you have to do Christian. You have the strength and courage inside to do it once you are ready. Nobody can force you to do this, not me or John, you can't even do this just for your family, it has to be for you first and foremost. Whatever you decide to do, is never going to change the way I love you or the way your family loves you. You need to understand that."

I watch as Christian takes several deep breaths he focuses on me and I watch as his eyes begin to clear, the tension begins to leave his body. I watch him gracefully stand as pull me up with him. I am wrapped in a tight but gentle embrace and I feel the kisses places atop my head.

"I love you Ana, more then you know. Thank you for being here and for….just thank you."

Nothing else needs to be said. I understand completely. I tighten my arms around him and kiss his shoulder. We stand like this for a few more moments and then Christians pulls away placing a kiss to my lips and leads me back to the car, opening my door and helping me in. He kisses me again.

Christian slides into the driver's seat while I text Taylor letting him know we are on our way back.

"Taylor."

"Yeah. I told him I would text him, so he was not completely in the dark. It was the only way he felt sort of ok letting us leave alone."

Christian nods. "Thank you." He clasps my hand and we head back to the hotel.

We are make it back just as Teddy is waking from his nap. Christian goes to get him and we have spent the rest of the afternoon and evening with Teddy in Christian's arms and me, cuddled next to them both watching movies and playing. I have watched and felt Christian relax since being back. I am hoping that we have moved past this afternoon but I really don't think that I will know that until tomorrow. Christian has come in from the study, he wanted to check on a few things at work. I am curled up in bed reading when he walks in. I receive a kiss before he goes into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I put my book down and wait for him. He climbs into bed next to me and I snuggle close to him. His arm going around my back.

"Are you ok baby?" I ask him softy as I run my fingers over his bare chest. He remains quiet for what feels like forever.

"Honestly, I don't know." His other hand closes over mine on his chest. "Ana I just don't know. There are so many things I am feeling, things I have never allowed myself to feel before. I heard everything you said this afternoon and it helped you have no idea how much it helped. You help me see reality when I get so lost in my past. Ana I don't know how you do it. You always know what to say to bring me back to the now. To help me see my life, our life. I am so afraid that all my fucked up-ness is going to get to be too much and you are going to leave. That's why I want to get over my past so that it does not destroy us and make you stop loving me and leave."

"Christian, do you really see that happening?"

"No. I don't. I know you love me. I know you said you would never leave, but she did and I know I won't survive if you do."

"Christian. I told you that I am never going to leave you, unless you do something stupid like cheat on me; you are stuck with me for life. I love you so much it hurts. I can't live my life without you, and I am not her. You and our son are my reasons to stay. We both have things in our past we don't like but it helps to make us who we are. You have overcome so much from your childhood to become the man that you are today and I am so proud of you."

"I'm scared about tomorrow. I don't know how I am going to react."

"I know baby, but it's going to be ok. You won't be alone, and however you react is fine. You will know how to overcome this once you are faced with it."

I lean up to seal my lips with Christians. I part my lips to allow his tongue access, the kiss remains gentle as he slides my nightgown off my shoulders, his hand slides up to gently massage my breast and I feel him against my hip growing hard. He hovers over me, not checking to see if I am ready just knowing that I am he gently slides into me until I am filled completely, both of us gasping and trembling. His body is pressed against mine, my arms around his neck and some of his weight is on his forearms. His lips continue to move against mine but he stays perfectly still inside me. He releases my lips but our gazes lock and we just stare into one another's eyes. I feel him throbbing inside me as my muscles clench around him. He still has not moved but I feel myself building. At this moment we are not just connected in a physical manner but in an emotional manner as well. This man is my everything, and I know I am his. There is nothing but pure love passing between us. A complete understanding of one another. His breathing begins to quicken alongside mine. Christian grinds gently against me causing me to gasp and shake more. I feel him swelling inside me and my insides are trembling. Higher and higher I feel myself getting. This is intense and so much more.

"Christian." My voice shaky and quiet.

"I feel it too Ana." He pushes further into me, which, I did not know was possible and grinds his hips against me that does it for me. I grip clench his arms as my body bursts with pleasure. My core clenches and pulls him deeper. I feel his shaking against me and with another whisper of my name I feel his release poor into me. He lowers himself onto me breathing heavy. We both achieved our release and Christian barely moved, that was not just love making at perfection but that was a connecting of our souls. Simply beautiful. Christian rolls us over slipping gently from me but me wraps his arms around me and just holds me. I feel the tears rush forward and begin to fall. Christian just holds me tight whispering I love you over and over, until we both fall asleep, forgetting for a few hours the world around us.


	28. Detroit Part 2

**A/N: Tissue alert! This chapter may come across as being un-organized but that was my intent. I needed it to be raw and I hope that is how it has come across. Thank you again for your patience. This chapter was very emotionally draining to write and I hope that it meets all of your expectations. I have one more chapter left and then this story will come to an end. I can't thank you all enough for the support you have given this story and me. It means more than you will ever know. I hope you enjoy!**

We have spent the morning with Teddy while we leisurely got ourselves ready for the day. I can see the anxiety radiating off my husband which just heightens my nerves. Today will be a tough day for my fifty, this is something he has avoided for his entire life, I know that this is something he needs to do, it's not something I can force him into. He would not being doing this if he did not feel like he was ready at least to some extent. I know he just needs me to be there for him day and I just hope I can give him the support he needs.

Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan and I have spoken. Ryan will of course be staying here with Gail and Teddy. I really do feel so much better now that Ryan is Teddy's security. Taylor and Sawyer are coming with us today, we have talked at length about today they know that they are to keep an eye out but to also stay out of the way, far enough away to give us some privacy but close in case we need them. Luckily for me that was not much of a fight as yesterday was. They are both much more comfortable being with us. Christian and Welch located where Ella's gravesite is so we don't have to spend hours searching. Taylor called the cemetery and was given directions on where to go and was told that the area we are visiting is a quiet one, not a lot of traffic so chances of us being disturbed are slim but again that is why Taylor and Sawyer are coming along.

Christian comes walking back into the living room with Teddy; he has hardly put him down since yesterday.

"Daddy and Mommy have to go now son, you are gonna stay with nana Gail, you be a good boy. I love you my son." Christian places soft kisses on Teddy's head, I step next to him and, do the same, Christian places one more kiss on Ted's cheek and then hands him over to Gail. Christian takes my hand and we walk out to the elevator.

We are both silent, and the tension is heavy. I can see Sawyer shift uncomfortably in front of us, he can feel it too. We reach to lobby and Christian keeps hold of my hand, as if he is afraid I will float away. We slide into the car, I sit in the middle so I can be close to my husband I just hold his hand and lean against him the entire ride is silent. We pull into the cemetery and Christian stiffens, his grip on my hand becomes tighter. Taylor slows to a stop and both he and Sawyer get out leaving us in the back. Christian's breathing is becoming more erratic and I feel him starting to panic. I rub my other hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down.

"Christian." Nothing.

"Christian." Nothing.

"Christian, baby." Nothing

"Baby look at me." I pull his face to mine and I stop breathing at the pure torment I see in his panicked grey eyes. My heart is pounding rapidly threating to beat out of my chest. The only thing I can think to do to help him settle is to kiss him. I cup his face with my free hand rubbing my palm against his skin. I keep his eyes locked on mine and seal his lips to me in a gentle and loving kiss. I can feel him relax slightly. His eyes have closed and his breathing has calmed a bit. Releasing his lips but kissing his cheek, his eyes open, the fear is still there but the panic is gone.

"Christian you don't have to do this. We can go back to the hotel we can pack our stuff and go back to Seattle. We can go home right now if you want to. We can come back if and when you are ever ready."

He stares at me for several moments.

"Christian I am going to love you forever no matter what your decision is at this moment in time. I will not love you any less, I will not think any less of you ever. You can choose to do this when you are ready and that will never change the way I feel about you. You will still be the wonderful man that I married, the amazing father to our son who loves you so much and is going to grow up idolizing you."

He stays quiet for several more minutes his eyes never leaving my face. I can see his mind processing everything I have said to him. It's all true, every word. Whatever his decision is, will never change the way I feel about him.

"I…" he clears his throat. "I have to do this Ana. I want to. I need to. I know that you are going to love me regardless, that thought finally sunk in last night. I know our son loves me. I promised him the day he was born and every single day since that I was going to be a man he would be proud of. I told him that he would be proud to carry the Grey name. I want to make him proud. I want to be the best father I can be for him, and the only way I know how to do that is to confront _her_, this is my final step Ana, we got rid of the pimp, we have addressed the safety issues with you and Teddy, we have dealt with Elena. Ella….she is the last extremely terrifying step that will hopefully allow me to move on and be the father our son deserves and the husband you deserve."

"Christian, you already are the husband I deserve and so much more. You have to do this for yourself and no one else."

"That's just it Ana, I am doing this for me. You were right. I can't let my past continue to have this effect on me. It does not dictate who I am or my future. I have control over that. But I want to stop feeling like I am not good enough for our son and for you. I know you are going to argue with me, and I know you are right in everything you have told me, but the only way I feel like I can accomplish that is to finally confront these feelings. It's not good for you or Teddy or me."

"I am so proud of you Christian and I love you so much."

"I know baby, your loving support is the one thing that is giving me the strength to face this."

I squeeze his hand place a soft reassuring kiss on his lips hoping he can feel the strength I am trying to give him.

Christian takes several more deep breaths and makes his decision to get out of the car, opening the door he steps out and holds his hand out for me. Our hands stay clasped tightly as we walk down the path past rows of head stones. I notice that several have flowers and plants surround the stone, and for a brief moment I think I should have brought some flowers but realize that might be a tad appropriate. I can make arrangements later. We reach a row and Christian turns down it, at the end of the row we stop at a small gravestone the name "SIMMONS" carved on it. Christians grip on my hand gets tighter I lean into him and rub his arm with my other hand. I can't even begin to fathom what is going through his head.

"Grace and Carrick bought it." His voice is barely above a whisper.

"The gravestone?"

"Yes, they wanted something here for me to visit if I ever chose to do so."

"Well that was a nice thing for them to do, she deserves to have something."

"NO! They did it for me not her." He snaps. "You hear that?! This was for ME not YOU! They love me. THIS WAS FOR ME!" He screams at the sky, releasing my hand and falling to his knees his hands fist and hit the ground and the top of the stone.

I kneel down next to him rubbing his back and holding his fist to keep him from breaking his hand on the stone, I feel his fist clenching beneath my fingers but slowly he loosens them.

"They did this for me because they love me. You never loved me like this." Christian's voice is broken, I know he is crying and the pain I hear rips my heart in two. Silent tears flood my eyes fall down my cheeks.

"Never….never….never….never." his voice barely a whisper.

He stares at the gravestone for several minutes. I stay silent next to him, just letting him think it all through. He will take care of this at his pace. After what seems like a lifetime, he finally begins to speak.

"I have been very angry with you for many, many years. I have so much I want to say to you, not a lot of it is very nice and I have so many questions I need answers to that you will never be able to give." He shifts on the ground so he is now sitting cross legged and I do the same.

He takes a shuddering breath. "Like why wasn't I ever good enough for you, why did you let him beat me the way he did, I was just a child, I had done nothing wrong. Why didn't you protect me? Why didn't you love me enough to stay and fight for me?" He sobs. "Then again maybe you loved me too much and that's why you left me knowing I would never be safe with you. If you had not left then I would never be where I am; Grace and Carrick never would have found me, I would not have become the successful man I am. I would not have my Ana or my son, who will never feel the hurt, pain, hunger or fear that you made me feel, but it's also because of you I almost lost her." Christian buries his face in his hands and tries to take a steadying breath. I rub my hand across his back and my other strokes his thigh. Taking another deep breath he raises his head again, looking back up at the stone, his hand finds and laces our fingers together.

"I have spent almost my entire life, never feeling good enough to love or be loved. I have never felt worthy of anything. I have spent my life trying to prove to myself and the world that I am a good person no thanks to you. I have spent over twenty years never being able to sleep a full night, because of the nightmares burned into my brain. I would wake up every night screaming from the mental pain of being beaten and burned again. The pain of knowing that you never loved me enough, the hurt and the pain is so deep I struggled to deal and cope with it on a daily basis. I am sure you could see exactly who I was becoming; I have never been able to let anybody touch me because of what you let your pimp do to me, I have never felt like I could be loved because the one person who was supposed to love me and protect me, that would be you, abandoned me. You failed! You failed at the most important job ever and that was protecting me!" he yells out again. "I spent years using women who looked like you to get my revenge to make me feel better to somehow make you feel the pain I felt. It's not something I am proud of even though it was all consensual; they all knew what they were getting themselves into. It was a way for me to find a release and still stay un-attached. I kept everyone at arm's length and further for fear of being abandoned again. I always knew that if they found out who I really was they would leave. I could not handle anyone else realizing that I was not worth the fight and leaving. I always thought that anybody I allowed to love me would leave me like you did. I actually though I could control who loved me and who I loved in return. My family, Grace, Carrick, Elliott & Mia, they never left. They always stood by my side no matter what; it just took me a long time to see they were there. It was not until I met Ana that I started wanting something different. Life became better, but once again I fucked up, and it was because of you, all the shit from the past caused me to hurt the one person who could fix me, the one person who could make me whole. Don't you see how fucked up things were? Why couldn't you just stop? Take control?"

Christian takes several ragged breaths trying to settle down, all I can do is rub his back and arm, hold his hand and just be his silent support system. His words tear through me. I can feel all his pain and suffering, I know I caused some of it when I left and that hurts worse, but I can also see the tension and burden slowly begin to lift from his body. He is finally saying his peace.

"I get it." His voice is barely above a whisper. "When I think rationally, and now that I am older, I can see that you were in your own hell. I know that you tried to take care of me in your own way. I know that you would try to hide me, always figured better you then me, but they never listened." Christian's lips curl up slightly. "I have a few of what I think may be considered happy moments, I remember the smell of a cake, and playing with your hair, I remember you teaching me numbers and the letters in my name and yours, but that is all I have."

The ghost of the smile is gone and his voice becomes colder.

"The day you left me is forever burned in my mind. You told me you could not do this anymore, you said that you were sorry and that you loved me and that I would be safe, and then….then you….you were gone….you just left me all alone, not knowing what would happen to me or where I would end up. You took the easy way out, leaving me to fight." I wipe the tears from my eyes as I listen to my husband. "As much as I fucking hate you for that, I have to acknowledge the fact that if you had stayed, I may not have ever found Ana, I would never know the kind of love that we have, I would never have the parents that I do, a family that loves me regardless of my past and what I put them through. I have a business I can take pride in know I built it from the ground up, and I have my son. My son, whom I treasure more than life itself and I will spend my entire life making sure that he is safe, loved, cherished and protected; I will make sure that he feels my love every single day, he will never spend a single second of his life wondering whether or not I love him. I will never quit on him like you did. I will never quit on Ana, I am lucky she gave me a second chance and I will never take that for granted, Ana has showed me that I am worth the fight. To her and our son, I am worth something. That feeling is something that I can never describe but it's almost as if I am complete now. I am no longer an empty person but I feel as if I have a purpose in life now."

Christian is silent for several minutes.

"I need you to understand that you may be the woman who gave me life but you are not my mother. My mother is Grace Trevelyan Grey. She is the one who raised me, the one who loved me unconditionally and sat up at night with me to soothe my nightmares. She put up with all my rebellion, fighting, and anger. She is the one who had the patience to teach me the Piano; the patience to let me talk on my own terms, she never pushed and to she respected my boundaries no matter how much it hurt her. All the pain and disappointment I caused her, I will spend a lifetime making it up to her. All she ever wanted was for me to be happy and now I finally am. You need to understand that while I may have said what I needed to, I don't forgive you. That is something very hard for me to do. I don't know that I ever will. I will overcome the past with time, but this was the biggest step in coping with everything."

Christian stares at the headstone for a few more minutes, he then gracefully stands up, reaching his hands out for me, I place mine in his and he pulls me to my feet, wrapping his arms around me pulling me flesh against his body. He buries his face in my neck and I just hold him, stroking his back and his hair, kissing his shoulder. Several minutes later, Christian straightens himself keeping me pinned to his side he turns back to the stone.

"I know that I don't have the answers to my questions, but I finally have the understanding that I need. I have spent many years trying to make sense of it and I still have a long way to go, but I know now what I need to say so that I can make the past not hurt as much, believe me it does but Ana has made it so much better. So I guess the only thing left to say to you is thank you."

I am stunned at his words.

"Thank you for letting me go, so that my family could find me and now I can finally do the same for you, I can continue to work through and let go of the past, the pain, the loss. I can look forward to the future with my amazing wife, my wonderful son and my loving family. This is all I will ever need from you."

Christian's eyes find mine, and for the first time in weeks I can see a semblance of peace returning to them. The tension is gone, the fear has vanished. His lips seal to mine, and the instant feeling is intense. I can feel all his emotions and the thanks he is expressing to me. I can feel the love, the mutual support. I can feel his hopes, his trust. I can feel us.

"Let's go home Christian." He nods. We make it to the car and Christian begins giving Taylor orders, to make the arrangements to fly home this evening. I curl into his side and allow a small smile to grace my lips. My fifty is finally make his way back to me.

**Check out my Original story here called 'A Moment In Paris' I would love your thoughts!**


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